Adult Bullies and Social Boundaries

For a female I am slightly taller than average and on the thin side. I do not wear heels to add to my height, nor do I diet to maintain a thin weight. If I made fun of somebody for being short, or fat, I would be scorned, yet it is somehow socially acceptable for people to call me “stretch” or “skinny”.

Why?

Why is it okay for a fat person to make fun of a thin one, but not the reverse? I cannot tell you how many times I have heard “Put some meat on your bones.” But dare I turn and tell them to “take some meat off yours.”?

I have recently begun to show that I take offense to these comments, certainly they are just as mean as the reverse. These comments are not said as compliments, nor as helpful bits of health advice. They are mean spirited comments. Some thin people are thin because of health problems, in myself I have a metabolism that literally I could eat whatever I want a not gain a pound, and no this doesn’t mean I am “lucky”. If I am expected to assume every overweight person is guilty of having a “glandular” problem, do they not also owe me the same respect?

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I work in retail, and often have female customers make fun of not only men in general, but their husbands. Women will purchase something and laugh about hiding it from their husband, or making a joke as to how much money they are spending without his knowledge. All sorts of male bashing even beyond this takes place, it is not only shocking at times, but saddening too.

Why is this acceptable? Why is it okay for groups of women to bash men behind their backs? Do the women truly believe men are so ignorant, or do men do the same thing?

Perhaps its a peer thing, groups of people naturally get together and attack whomever is not there, a pecking order of sorts that preys on people who are not present to defend themselves. But as we learned already in the short/tall and skinny/fat scenario sometimes it seems to be socially acceptable to bash somebody who is there.

Why are older people allowed to talk down to younger ones and say “you just think like that because you are young.”. If a young person dared insult an older one by saying “you just think that way because you are old”, it would raise eyebrows and blood pressure.

Maybe if we want our kids not to bully others, we as adults should learn not to be bullies.