Another Cliché

“Given the ambiguity , shouldn’t we all strike the phrase ‘I’m sorry’ from our vocabularies?” (14). According to Deborah Tannen, she says, “I think that we’d do better as a society if more people said, ‘I’m sorry’ rather than fewer” (14). In her writing, “I’m Sorry, I Won’t Apologize” she talks about how apologizing fits into political as well as personal issues. How people get effected by an apology and how people feel about apologies.

I disagree with Deborah Tannen‘s opinion on apologizing. I believe that no one is ever truly sorry for their actions. That they regret not what they’ve done, but their emotional reaction (2). In many ways people can be ignorant to the understandings of life. We apologize for things we intended to do, for things we do by accident, and for things we cant change. Then after we say “I’m sorry,” we treat it as if it were a confession intended to be forgiven.

The particular use of the phrase “I’m sorry,” has become somewhat of a cliché to me. People say sorry for situations we often repeat. People apologize for loss of a loved one, for disappointments, and when they hurt someone’s feelings. As if they say their sorry, it will make us feel better or erase what has already happened. “Sorry” isn’t a time machine it can’t take away the pain someone feels, it cant cloud a person memory of losing someone or something, and it can’t stop the person from feeling the way they do inside.

My grandmother had recently died and I can’t even begin to count how many people apologized for our loss. I understand it’s a natural reaction for people to say their sorry in that situation, but I couldn’t help but think of why they are sorry. Why do people apologize for death? Death is natural it happens to all of us. I understand that they feel bad for our situation, but saying sorry just makes a person feel worse. People in that situation feel isolated and remorse, causing them to feel vulnerable to other people. When others feel bad for them, then begin to feel weak and useless.

Apologizing, is a useless trait. I choose to never apologize, because I don’t regret anything I’ve done. If I make a mistake I choose to merely fix it to the best of my ability. When I hurt a persons feelings I make it clear that I am just being honest. I don’t see the reason to apologize for something that you believe to be true, even if that person is offended, that’s their perspective and they can do with that what they want.