Do You Exist If You Don’t Own a Laptop, Cellphone, or Camcorder?
by It is very difficult to be taken seriously nowadays if you don’t own items of the latest technology. To make matters worse, privacy is bought at a steep price.
“Oh, your computer isn’t working. That’s easy, use your laptop,”
“I don’t have a laptop.”
“O well, call me on your cellphone.”
“I don’t have a cellphone’”
“Let’s exchange pictures using our camcorders.”
“I don’t have a camcorder.”
At that point, you get an urge to turn in your Social Security card and paint out your name on the mailbox. You don’t exist, at least as far as the world of 2009 is concerned!
Now and then, you get an urge to look at your foot to be sure that it hasn’t disappeared. Communication with the outside world is not easy, nor can they communicate easily with you.
But some of us, let’s call us the Antedeluvians, revel in noncommunication. Other than at work, WE DON’T WANT TO COMMUNICATE WITH NOR BE COMMUNICATED TO by the great unwashed masses. We are perfectly happy in our caves with a rock rolled up against the entrance.
Now, one must realize that this attitude must be kept secret; otherwise, one might find oneself carted to a psychiatrist or psychologist, who will attempt to change one’s solipsistic attitude. Don’t fight it! Pretend that you have seen the error of your ways, but, when no one is looking, crawl right back into your cave with a larger rock against the door. You must, of course, make some arrangement for food, but that can be easily be done by bribing a child. Tell him/her that, one day, when he/she comes to deliver your groceries, Superman will be there waiting to take him/her for a ride on his back. I leave it to you to arrange for other necessities. You can do it if you really want to.
Have you noticed how difficult it is nowadays to have any privacy? Phones(probably cellphones) are always ringing or playing cute little tunes; music is played by computers; radios are telling about the imminent coming of Armageddon; indeed there is a group that awaits it daily….and on and on. The world has gotten noisier by the year. Enjoying a “quiet” Sunday cannot be done unless you have a closet with a door that locks from the inside. Don’t even put a sign on the door “Do Not Disturb”. That will give away your secret. Just disappear. With any luck, this method should keep you safe for at least a few hours.
There is, of course, no permanent solution. You can use the method above, wear ear plugs (although it seems that a number of people have been run over by trains when they were wearing ear plugs ); you just have to stay away from train tracks or take the plugs out if you are in the vicinity. You can have your voicemail changed to say,”This phone is no longer in service; Ms/Mr Jones is on an archaeological dig somewhere in the Brazilian jungles and cannot be reached.”
Image via Wikipedia
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