Domestic Violence

OMERTA or code of silence …
That bothers about, certainly, it returns by mirror to our worst demons or experienced. The mere fact of surviving an abusive perverts forever the thinking model.

And if we talking about?

Lift the veil

SOME FIGURES …

Note: Physical abuse, verbal and psychological ones are identified, they all take the same idea that someone allows himself to violence to assert its right! NB2: The violence of women against their partner but there is an epiphenomenon and does rarely death (excluding crimes of passion are not included in these statistics whether man or woman)

- 30% increase in France in 2008 compared to 2007
- All social and cultural rights are affected
- Workers, managers, singer, political
- 1 woman dies every 3 days under the blows of his companion: 166 women in 2007 -
- An indelible mark on the minds of children

Against which we fought?

Mentalities (cf romy.tetue.net site):

“(…) (Spain): 21% of men (and nearly 9% of women) surveyed believe that victims of domestic violence like to be abused, or are stupid, or get something in return, otherwise they leave the marital home or would separate from their spouses. Similarly 10.7% of men think that if a woman is abused, she deserved it …

(…) The figures are roughly the same in France: in 1999, 72 women were killed by their husbands voluntarily, without counting those who died from injuries. At least one in ten households is the site of serious violence whose victims are 95% of women and children. Among women 20 to 59 years living as a couple, one in ten had already been assaulted. Each year 4 million women are assaulted by their partner, a woman every three days in France. (…) The situation within families Spanish, French but also European, is sadly representative of a universal phenomenon: a recent UN report provides one in three women worldwide is being abused or abuse by a relative. According to UNIFEM, whether in rich or poor, women experience the same type of violence. While in Cambodia, 16% of women reported being physically abused by their husbands, the United Kingdom, we are nearly twice as much. In Sao Paulo, Brazil, 13% of women of reproductive age were killed and among them, 60% are by their husbands or partners. United States, 7 million women are raped or sexually assaulted each year, etc. … Briefly, in the world, 70% of women murdered are by their male partners (WHO). ”

A historical legacy:

The notion of responsibility and omnipotent law on family and its assets had disappeared there was not long ago about fifty years at most (60s).

Including: “In France in the twentieth century it has sought to ensure equality between the sexes (discrimination), which was obtained by slow recognition of women’s rights at all levels: Election (1945) and civic in the workplace and within the family. In the 60s, we tried to adapt the texts to the new social conditions, marriage, cohabitation and many children who come from, blended families, single parent etc.. One feels the need to reform family law by adopting in 1999, the Civil Solidarity Pact, the anonymous childbirth and the inheritance rights of surviving spouse. (Cf AGAM-06.org) Those who are over 50 years can remember the particulars on the family book of their parents on the definition of the paterfamilias and his rights (the original family book 1872-1876 METAYER / JULES SIMON). These laws gave the duties to the father who was the sole legal representative of his family up. Extrapolate from there to the right to punish … and the legitimacy of an education “tough” …

Who has the right to exercise its law on the sole principle of a barbarous physical superiority?

Whether on children, a wife, or another lower, it is necessary to denounce the principle of cowardice which leads these acts of violence easier.

Social pressure and family:

Add to this social pressure and family with inhuman principles put forward: “You know, she had provoked” or “it’s not so bad, you know she is not dead” or “within a few days that will do more. “

Worse when the victim himself said you feel guilty “especially say nothing, your father might lose his job,” or “with the reputation he can not do anything, the police will cover up, it will more harm than good. “

Imagine the child who still has an opinion contrary to the norm of the paterfamilias and sees her mother take hits to its site (immediate guilt, the reaction is not to say anything to become silent by survival instinct and the although the parent assaulted). Or he sees the imposing mass of the abusive parent rushing to punish him for a speech, an opinion, a silence that sometimes he is guilty. The children of the same family, lived with the same go for Ceratina, trying to legitimize impunity of those who are genetically their parent, for others the irreparable injury is not admissible because: they will be gagged again by those who defend the violence of the parent guilty, with the same violence tetanizing that works well with good resonance. The split is consumed in the guise of siblings unsaid and gravity innuendo or veiled threats. Violence is a business for the future.

Why? Because it is unbearable to go from a monster, because oblivion is sometimes more comfortable than memorizing difficult to evacuate.

Reproduction of the scheme “I was beaten, I’m not dead, then I beat my turn,” or “I saw my mother beaten and it’s normal that my boyfriend beat me” … It’s a vicious circle of non-generational values ​​that become …

For many years of psychological work on oneself means all sorts of activists about forgiveness (read “impunity, neglect …”). We must proclaim with force: “It is absolutely irrelevant! Condone acts that have not had their confessions (one can only forgive those who ask forgiveness, otherwise we forgive an “innocent”, which is meaningless), or their legitimate punishment, has no reason to exist! .

Ignorance of the other is the only punishment that a person injured may exercise.

For tackle who can not defend themselves being blocked in addition to a situation of dependence that has not chosen (the case of a child) does not justify any “forgiveness”.

The mere fact of addressing his equal in strength may lead to an explanation. But in a battle where the “winner” Physics is sure of his victory, and he puts together his only dictates there question …

Agree at any price?

The agreement between two, three ,…. X people is a strange phenomenon, this is as much of the culture, acquired innate chemistry, or alchemy. Disagreement is healthy as it is an opening for dialogue and is not an end in itself to be right. There are often many truths that opinion.

Then the moral respect, love, generosity create real affinity or dissensions.

Everyone should have the choice of its affinities and incompatibilities.

Now if two people are incompatible, they choose not to mingle. This should be as simple as that.

Dependence on another (even incompatible) is a psychological gap, a gap that a mind dependent on the dependence of the other is investing. The person devalued by a past, a child can not be built and deployed in the shadow of the threat may be psychological, emotional, physical …

To conclude, this article will only be meaningful if it helps to promote some things that I want to see it move is the code of silence where perpetrators and victims are trapped in a wall of silence that place them at the same level .

We are not guilty of being a victim, this principle is humanly untenable.

TALK: If readers can feel how liberating it is to say, I invite them to do it after me. Maybe the therapeutic effect of say, break the code of silence and go beyond any social pressure from family, self-righteous, politically correct in a string of free speech …

Physical violence, verbal and psychological ones are identified, they all take the same idea that someone allows himself to violence to assert its right!

To you ….