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Five Ways to Tell Someone is a Hipster

Hipsters are an elusive breed. Here is how to find them.

They utilize technology that is since obsolete. If this person uses fax machines, beepers, or anything else that nobody uses anymore because it’s “ironic”, he or she may be a hipster.  Other examples of this are: watches from the 70s, enormous ’80s era computers, ’90s brick cell phones, or anything else that nobody in their right mind would actually want to use.  They most likely smoke tons of cigarettes, usually dark-colored ones that have herbs in them, or other bizarre things like that.

Image by compujeramey via Flickr

This is a good example of the kind of phone a hipster would have, solely for the purpose of irony.

They were glasses they don’t need, and plaid shirts- Hipsters like wearing glasses because it’s ironic.  What could be more ironic than wearing glasses you don’t need?  Hipsters wear glasses that are not perscription.  Even better, a lot of these glasses have no lenses at all.  They are often large and unattractive glasses but they tend to work with the hipster’s entire “look”

They wear pants that are too short with obvious socks- Hipster men enjoy wearing ill-fitting pants, especially if paired with bright or striped socks.  In their culture, this is fashionable.  They are also commonly seen wearing weird shoes, like beaten-up penny loafers.

Image via Wikipedia

They make literary references that make you feel dumb- Hipsters enjoy making other people feel stupid by spewing pointless information they learned in their 11th grade AP English class.  Just mention something about David Mamet’s plays being pointless and post modern and hopefully they’ll shut up. (See?  Now I’m doing it too.)

They never call themselves hipsters or make hipster jokes- Hipsters don’t admit to being hipsters, which is why they hate hipster jokes so much.  If they laugh, they’re betraying their own kind, but if they oppose the joke, they are revealing their true identity as a hipster.  Make a hipster joke in front of a hipster and see how the hipster reacts.

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