Have I Been Rude
by Wondering why people can be so weird.
On the ferry between Hoek van Holland and Harwich you can normally hear two languages: Dutch and English. I have heard Fries (spoken in the north of the Netherlands) and Hindi too. Sometimes there are huge families from India and Pakistan.
When I came to the bar this time carrying a beer and a newspaper, I noticed a family sitting at the next table talking German. They were having a nice time. Mother and daughter were discussing what items you could buy for the girl’s new Barbie doll. The son asked his father if there might be planes landing on the ship, or helicopters. When the boy asked about what would happen if the ferry sank, father explained about the safety measures and pointed at the messages on the video screen. There was also a little film about this, but it was in Dutch and English.
Most of the Dutch can speak German a bit and certainly can understand it. For a long time we had five channels on our tv and three of them were German. (I’m not talking about the older generation, the ones who has been confronted with Germans during World War 2.)
They were obviously having a great time, it was all new to them all. The father decided to have this moment saved for a longer time and took photographs. After he took some, he decided to have one of the whole family. He placed the camera on the table, installed the timer and ordered his gang to put their heads flat on the table.
It looked a bit weird from my point of view. When the camera had flashed he checked the result but was not very happy with it. So again they put their heads on the table, the adults sitting at the end of it. But he was not satisfied with this one either.
I couldn’t keep back any longer, so I asked in my best German whether I could be of service to them and take the picture for them.
His eyes almost popped out and he stammered: “Nein danke”.
I shrugged and went back reading the newspaper. The situation really had changed, the family put their heads close together and resumed their conversation in a whispering manner. I stood up after a few minutes and got a new beer for myself because the first one was finished. When I came back I just saw the back of the father leaving the bar as the last of the family.
I was not intruding I think. I wasn’t impolite. I used the formal “Sie” and not “Du” while addressing him. And I don’t consider myself to look aggressive or such.
I still wonder what happened.
Liked it
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Post CommentYvonne B
On June 11, 2009 at 1:41 pm
If THAT was rude then I am one heck of a rude person. I have taken pictures in situations like that many times and every time the people were VERY HAPPY I offered.
Don’t let these odd people scare you off to offer your help again next time!
Jo Burton
On June 11, 2009 at 6:23 pm
You were most polite Albert. I am always really pleased when people offer to take my picture, and have often helped out others in the same situation. These people were just peculiar.
Gea P
On June 12, 2009 at 1:06 pm
You were not rude, you were helpful and I don’t understand their reponse at all. Don’t let this stop you from offering kindness to others, since that is all you did.
You were kind and helpful.
Froukje
On June 16, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Dear Albert,
I like the way you have written this story.
You know how I think of you, and I am old
and know things very well. You are a good man and you will always be.
Nikita K
On July 10, 2009 at 4:37 pm
I really like this anecdote. I like the way you’ve analysed the situation, but normally, as a person of Indian origin who travels every year, I know my family to ask people to take pictures, or if someone offers, we let them and we offer to take others’ pictures too both in England and in India. What you did was politeness at its pinnacle but I think that the family probably were taken aback because maybe German culture dictates that picture taking doesn’t work that way. I think they were shocked because they didn’t associate German to a Dutch person.
The world works in mysterious ways, eh?
maeraquel
On May 7, 2010 at 5:22 pm
He was just too proud to be in debt from a stranger, it can sometimes happen to the best of us.
Albert van der Steeg
On May 7, 2010 at 6:01 pm
I haven’t looked at it that way! You might be right Maeraquel. I still don’t feel that they would have been in debt of course. But who is able to read the mind of other people?