How to Adopt in the United States

Adoption can seem incredibly scary and knowing what to expect or where to start is daunting. Understanding the types of options available to people wishing to adopt within the U.S. is the first step to deciding what type of adoption to pursue.

There are two main ways to adopt domestically; independent adoption and through the state. Which one is right for you is an entirely personal decision.

STATE ADOPTION

What It Is

When the state steps in and removes a child from their home, for reasons of abuse or neglect, he or she is placed in foster care. The parents are given a certain amount of time, as decided by each state, to change or mend whatever the court and the social worker deemed necessary. If in this amount of time the parents cannot do this and there is no family member with whom to place the child permanently, that child will become eligible for adoption. An agency licensed through the state handles these types of adoptions.

Pros

Adopting a child from foster care is a truly marvelous thing for any person to do. There are children of all ages, many siblings, waiting in group homes or being shuffled from temporary foster home to foster home. Some are lucky enough to be able to stay with a relative while they wait, others stay in institutions. These children have had unstable, unpredictable lives and long for nothing more than a family who loves them. With guidance and support these children thrive.

At the end of 2005 the U.S. Department of Health and Family Services had 115,000 children in foster care waiting to be adopted. (
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) While the bureaucracy and red tape of a state adoption can be a hair pulling frustration, you will most likely welcome a child into your home in two years or less. With all the children waiting in foster care and not enough families to go around, state adoption can be a safe bet.

Another amazing benefit to state adoption is the minimal cost. The state benefits in paying for the necessary legal work of adoption rather than paying a foster home a monthly stipend to care for the child. Most states also offer adoptive families a monthly stipend for children labeled special needs.

Cons

These children have experienced trauma to varying degrees and you must be willing to parent through the many issues that can arise depending on the severity and extent of the abuse. Many children have family members they wish to maintain a relationship with but cannot live with. While many hopeful parents envision a baby or toddler, the median age for a child in foster care is roughly 10 ½. (
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)

It is possible to adopt an infant through the state. You must be willing to become a foster parent, however. When a baby is removed from their mother’s care, usually because of a positive drug test, the state will place the baby in your home. Statistics show that children are returned to the home in 60% of cases. You must be aware that more than half the time the children are reunited with their biological parents.

Professionals

Choosing an agency requires research on your part. Many, many agencies exist in every state and some offer their services nationwide. Something to consider is that each agency is allowed to set whatever standards they want for the adoptive families they represent, as long as it follows state laws. For example, some Catholic agencies will not work with gay couples or unmarried people. It’s important to ask what the standards are and decide if you can abide by them. With the wealth of agencies out there it’s possible to find one that fits your worldview and circumstances.