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If You Live in America and are Not Married, You Must be Stupid

The recent Supreme Court ruling regarding same-sex marriage opens up a wealth of financial discounts and tax breaks for all Americans that could actually threaten the solvency of the U.S. Tax System. However, since the courts have made this method of tax dodging easily available to the public, why not take advantage?

Civil same-sex marriage ceremony being performed in San Francisco City Hall (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There are two types of marriage: A Civil marriage contract mediated by the government and religious marriage conducted by churches. The U.S. Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage applies to civil unions, the advantages of which include tax deductions, shared insurance, and a slew of other incentives designed to make starting and managing a family easier. Of course, same-sex marriage cannot naturally produce off-spring, but the benefits remain the same.

Logic then, would suggest, that taking advantage of same-sex marriage is the fastest and easiest way to save money and grow wealth.

English: West face of the United States Supreme Court building in Washington, D.C. Español: Edificio de la Corte Suprema de Estados Unidos en Washington, D.C. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Plain and simply, there is nothing in the law that says one has to be gay, in love, or consent to sex in order to be married. Previous court precedence knocked down the premise that a marriage must be consummated by sex to be valid. This occurred when the law determined that one can rape one’s spouse. The law also has no true test for measuring the love between two people and it certainly cannot established medically or scientifically that a same-sex couple is gay.

Civil marriage is basically two persons appearing before an officiant and witnesses to sign a contract. Uncontested divorce can now be granted ‘no-fault’ in most states. With a properly drawn pre-nuptual agreement, ending a marriage is as simple as filing papers with the court.

Same-sex marriage in the US (for demonstration) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So why not get married tomorrow?

Find a friend, find a roommate, heck, find a cousin! (Check state laws regarding incest. Some states allow marriages as close as a first cousin.) Simply find someone you trust implicitly, create a pre-nuptual agreement preserving each individual’s pre-marriage assets, and agree on an equitable method of sharing household expenses, if you live in the same house. There is absolutely nothing requiring a couple to live together, unless one spouse is seeking citizenship through marriage.

In a same-sex America it makes cents to grab someone and marry as soon as you are no longer a legal dependent of your parents. Since the marriage is simply a legal one and not of the flesh, each spouse can continue dating whomever they wish and, when love does strike, can get a quickie divorce, then marry for love. (Be cautious, however, of certain states with laws that make adultery a criminal offense. While these laws are rarely enforced, and then typically only in a contentious divorce, they do still exist in some books.)

“But, wait a minute,” you say. “Couldn’t marrying in this manner be considered tax evasion or an act of fraud against the government?”

Maybe, technically, but it is probably very difficult to prove or even establish that a crime took place. Think about it…civil marriage is about property rights. Beyond that, the law cannot define emotional or spiritual purposes for marriage. Presently couples living together out of wedlock very often choose to marry for financial reasons. Without religion in the mix, all that is left are property rights (your money), and the pursuit of happiness. The U.S. Supreme Court has eliminated any vestige of sanctity in civil marriages.

Thus, it behooves all of us, if we wish to save significant amounts money, to get up tomorrow and get married. Only the incredibly stupid pay more taxes than the law requires.

Plot of U.S. public opinion in favor or against legal same-sex marriage. Data retrieved from sources within Public opinion of same-sex marriage in the United States (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


About the Author: Karl Callwood is a former Senate Chief-of-Staff and Congressional and Legislative Researcher with 22 years experience drafting U.S. federal, state and territorial laws. Finished with government service, he currently resides in the Virgin Islands where he spends his days SCUBA diving and producing underwater videos.

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