Man Up!
by Man Up (v); Be strong; Take control, take control of a (the) situation, rise to the moment ; To work through impediments and obstacles without whining. Derived from the phrase “cowboy up”, meaning “be tough, be strong, act like a real cowboy”, which was in use in rodeo circles at least since the mid-1970’s. “Man up” means, similarly, “be tough, be a man, do what a man should do.” Other derivations, such as “woman up”, are common.
As the Minister of Music at my church, I generally have a meeting with my Pastor once a month to talk about the direction the music department is headed in, and to address any concerns either of us may have. My most recent meeting proved somewhat disturbing to me. There had been a couple of choir members who had come to the Pastor to complain that they had been treated unfairly, either by me personally or by someone on my staff.
Of course I was asked if either of the individuals had approached me about said problems. After all, it is my job to be the first person of contact regarding anything in the area of performing arts within the church. My Pastor will be the first to tell you that he doesn’t know anything about music, and then he will proceed to direct you back to me. My Pastor also knows, as anyone who really knows me knows, that I am willing to talk to and work with anyone. But yet my answer to his question was, “No, Pastor. As usual no one has said anything to me.”
Why is this so disturbing? There is a growing trend among people to try and circumvent and/or blame others for their problems. Some try to avoid their problems all together; perhaps hoping if they ignore them, they will go away. Others will take the problem, not to the source, but rather to a third (or fourth or fifth, etc.) party in an attempt to rally support for their side of the story. If they can paint the other individual in a bad enough light, they will gain the “sympathy vote” when the whole situation comes to a head. When are we, as adults, going to start facing our problems and start taking responsibility for our own actions and their consequences? When are we going to “man up”?
Let’s look at a few of the individuals who need to Man Up:
The Tattletale
This title would apply to the individuals described in my earlier scenario. “You’ve been bad and I’m gonna tell mommy and daddy. You’re gonna get in big trouble!” Are you serious? What are you, five years old? These people have never learned to resolve conflict in an adult manner; or they are simply cowards looking for someone to stand up to the bully for them. And the more people they can tattle to, the better. They hope they will eventually find someone who will take the offending individual down a peg or two. I have a piece of advice: How about you confront the individual yourself in regard to their “bad behavior”? Let them know they have hurt or offended you in some way. This person may not even be aware that you feel this way. Before you go and get your big brother or your gang to beat them up, Man Up!
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Post CommentCollette Edwards
On August 12, 2009 at 11:06 am
Ashan great advice, these people will always be around and be the victum I guess it’s easier to go over someones head then it is to “face up”
ashan1614
On August 12, 2009 at 2:48 pm
For sure there are too many people out there who won’t take responsibility for their own lives and decisions.
George W Whitehead
On August 12, 2009 at 4:45 pm
My motto is, ‘Wuss up!’
ashan1614
On August 12, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Whatever works for you, George.
Stephen J. Ardent
On August 12, 2009 at 5:34 pm
People will “man up” about the same time they grow up.
ashan1614
On August 12, 2009 at 10:34 pm
Stephen, unfortunately, you are right. I’ve met people much older than myself who have yet to grow up.
kizichat
On August 25, 2009 at 2:56 pm
I’m beginning to think there’s more to growing up than achievements or age or doing things. what you’ve noted here is a good read for anyone that needs some stirring up into that direction. Seeking help is another story entirely that reflects maturity and maybe thats why so many do not do it.
ashan1614
On August 27, 2009 at 10:01 am
You are right, kizichat; it takes a certain level of maturity to admit that one has a problem and needs to seek help. Others let their pride or ignorance keep them from getting the help they need. At any rate, more people need to man up, own up, and whatever other “up” to get our lives in order.
keyboardologist
On September 2, 2009 at 8:23 pm
Hey ashan, great insight. I agree, that we should man up/pony up. A lot of people have had misfortune,bad times, and bad circumstances, but a body chooses to do right or wrong. We all have choices. I like it!
diamondpoet
On September 30, 2009 at 10:56 am
Why does every church have it own drama club? (High School The Musical) are you feeling me. I just sit back and takes notes. Let’s wake them up, this is suppose to be a place of worship, a santuary, can we please drop-off the crap at the door, and remember why we go to church, To praise the lord. Thank you, I am in total agreement.