Mentor or Parental Replacement?

As an engineer, I am often asked to allow high school and college students shadow me for a day at work. They may be thinking of engineering as a career, and just want to get a feel for what it entails on a daily basis. I’m more than happy to allow these young men and women to sit with me while explain to them the projects I am currently involved in and my role in getting the design work completed.  I feel it is my duty of sorts to give these young people some insight and perhaps groom them to take over for me one day when I get tired of the daily grind.

In my church, I am regularly involved with the children and teens, teaching and directing the youth choir, serving as a youth Bible study instructor and showing up to help out with many youth activities and fund-raising events.  The children look up to me because I try to set a good example. I am available for them to come to me when they have problems at home or in school. I try to give them practical advice, perhaps even tell them a few anecdotes from when I was growing up. I want to let them know that I have been through whatever it is they are experiencing; I might be able to help them work through it in a productive way.

At my church’s New Year’s Eve service, I had a young lady (who just turned 14 last week) ask me to be her god-mother. I’m thinking it might be a good idea for me to, somewhat, take he under my wing, having gotten a pretty good idea of her family dynamic and the ever brewing drama that unfolds in her household.  I gave her my cell phone number, telling her she could call me if she needed to talk and promising her that occasionally, we would go out and do something fun together.

This has been my undoing.  Ever since that fateful day, I have been bombarded with phone calls, text messages and pleas to come and spend the weekend with me. I try to explain that I am not her age, we don’t really have common interests, and I don’t really have anything for her to do at my house. I’ve tried to further explain that my youngest child is 18 and wouldn’t want to hang out with someone her age, either.  I told her that she would be bored to tears at my house because when I get a break from my child and grandchild, as I usually do each weekend, I do as little as I can. I get some much-needed rest from cooking, shuttling people around and the general demands on my time.