Southern Dandy
My years as a bartender and how the view changes from the rearview mirror.
I was a bartender, (mixologist, libations consultant) for eight years. Initially, I was infatuated with the social, fun, free-spirited landscape of the hospitality industry. Through the years, the landscape changed, and with each passing year, the laughter faded, my heart grew heavy with the realization that I was being paid to ply a product that could effortlessly place my customers and friends on a path to destruction. For some, it was a one-way street that led to dark alleys housing bankrupt souls, who would gladly sell theirs, for just one more shot of whiskey. Alcohol was the vehicle that transported once fun and responsible adults into a world of isolation, shame and an aching filled with such sorrowful longing, I could swear I saw their resolute nature desperately fighting to reach the surface of humanity. But with a closer glance, I recognized the face behind this longing. His name is Jack Daniels, an unsavory lad who promises euphoria, but delivers catatonia, or at least the sweet possibility of it, after these vacuous souls have traded in everything they had and once were.
We’ve all seen these faceless, nameless statistics on street corners; they live in a world of darkness, alone and afraid, holding their breaths…afraid to exhale and wondering why no one has ever attempted to murder God. We drive past them with barely a glance, but wait….slow down, take a closer look. That faceless, nameless statistic could be your brother, mother, father or daughter. No, you cry….it couldn’t be, I come from good people with strong work ethics and moral fiber. We are economically and socially elevated, educated people who are exempt from this disease.
I come before you today to testify as an expert witness. Jack Daniels has been selling empty promises in amber liquid for over one hundred years. He is fortified with astonishing success and the arrogance that comes from knowing his potential market. His demographic charts bear no boundaries. There isn’t a neighborhood in America who has not danced with this Southern dandy. There are no vaccinations or early symptoms marking a susceptibility to his charms.
Next time you happen upon a statistic, shake his hand, listen to his story and know that it could have just as easily been your story. Hold this in your pocket to serve as a constant reminder when you walk by in smugness or indifference: we aren’t smarter or richer or better loved….we are just damned lucky.
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User Comments
Delaney Morgan
On September 27, 2008 at 1:41 am
Great essay full of emotional depth and profundity. Spins a new light on our societal views on the disease of alcoholism. Looking forward to reading more of Abbey’s thought provoking essays. The fact we share the same last name makes me wonder if we might share the art of writing.?
Marte Jones
On September 27, 2008 at 1:50 am
I have never looked at alcoholics in this manner. Abbey delves into this disease and forces us to become more tolerant. Her voice is strong and courageous. I, for one will be more compassionate when I happen upon one of these faces Abbey refers to. Thoroughly enjoyed reading her and give thanks to her alternate views. Impressive.
Marte Jones
Tara Kleinsasser
On September 27, 2008 at 2:04 am
There are no words to define what Abbey’s essay has done to alter my judgmental nature. I absolutely loved her. Can’t wait to hear more from her.
Tara Kleinsasser
Michaela Nichols
On September 27, 2008 at 2:53 am
I would love to live inside her head for just one day, the way she sees and feels things most of us pay no notice to. I have never given any thought to what may cause a person to become alcoholic, puts a different light on the subject and makes me feel almost as vacuous of the souls Abbey refers to. What a gifted mind and writer. Makes me want to sit up and pay more attention to life and the impact things have on us if we paid it any mind. Wonderful.
Michaela Nichols
A. Abbott
On September 27, 2008 at 3:15 am
The only thing I can say is I want to wear the glasses she wears when she looks at the world. Makes me feel a little shallow and empty headed. Such talent and self suredness. I want to devour everything she has written. She makes me want to become a more enlightened woman it embarrasses me to say.
Raven Black
On September 27, 2008 at 3:34 am
It’s confirmed, I am in love. Waiting for more of her.
Raven B.
A. Lucky-Wan
On September 29, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Although I do enjoy the occassional fine wine, micro-brewery beer, or even a martini, I have been known to overindulge at times of personal despair. But for the grace of God, there go I!
I pass homeless people every day on my drive to work, since my highway interchange has been closed for construction and I’ve had to take some inner-city roads as a detour. I wonder how many of them have had a love affair with the Southern Dandy.
Well put, Abbey.
Poppy Lynn Chambers
On October 20, 2008 at 9:17 pm
Being born into a family of addictions and dependencies, I learned very young about the struggle basic life coping skills can become to a soul who is for the most part, a normal Joe, your next door neighbor, your teacher, your mother…..Abbey, I want to thank you. My world has become a caloused, rushed, and cynical world, a world that I would have never believed 10 years ago would be mine, and you have touched an old heart string that I forgot belonged to me. I look forward to more writings…..
Leslie Metcalf
On October 28, 2008 at 4:25 am
Wonderful! Unique! Refreshing eyes! A Literary Marvel! Keep them coming, Abbey.
Laurel LaVelle
On November 14, 2008 at 2:09 am
Abbey is much too bright to be a bartender, what a waste, but she certainly walked away armed with keen insight and compassion few are endowed with. I have had friends who were bartenders for a spell and 90% of these people left with cynicism and anger. We would do well to emulate Abbey and learn humanity over hostility. I love the way she describes ordinary things and dresses it up in taffeta. “There’s not a neighborhood in America who has not danced with this Southern Dandy”, imaginative, creative, a true wordsmith who does not so much tell her story but brings it to life with paints on canvas, not so much a story but a life affirming mural. What talent and how truly refreshing.
Tyler Loughran
On November 26, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Simply astonishing. You never cease to amaze me with your writings. One can only hope to express your opinions and thoughts on this game we call life like the incredible Irish Word Painter. Keep at it, I find you have such a strong talent to offer the literary world.
Margaret Smythe
On July 8, 2009 at 4:47 pm
This is the second of Abbey’s works, I love her writing style, so intersting and fresh. A new voice that carries grace with the weight of wisdom and compassion. Keep it up Abbey, the world is brighter with the music of your words.
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