The Grander Scheme of Things: Is Popularity Important?

From the time that I was ten years old to about my junior year of high school, I wanted nothing more than to be popular. I wanted to get asked to all of the school dances, to have sleepovers that everyone would talk about for days, and to not be afraid to talk to my crush at lunchtime.

Unfortunately, I didn’t exactly fit the mold for such things. I’m an only child, and because I had no siblings, I was usually pretty wary of how to act around other children. I was chubby, I had glasses, and I developed acne around the age of eleven. As I’m sure you can imagine, I wasn’t very ‘popular’ with others, aside from my small posse of antisocial friends, and I tried to accept the fact that I never would be. I continued to fit this mold even entering high school, which made it even more difficult to see any alternative.

My single asset was that I was very intelligent, and even witty around my friends. I could easily pass a test without studying, answer questions in class without paying attention, and ace any in-class projects thrown at me. So why, then, if it would be so easy for me to succeed after I graduated, was I so concerned with my appearance and social know-how?

Teenagers (and even children in modern times) rarely think of their long-term assets when they are among peers that they aren’t only measuring up against, but that are judging them. Even when they do, appearance and popularity seem imperative to the long-term. If no one can accept you, then how are you supposed to succeed? If no one thinks highly of your skills or appearance, then why bother even trying to develop them?

Unfortunately, as soon as a child notices these things, the process of self-questioning begins. One statistic shows that a child’s self-esteem peaks at age 9, then steadily declines. Another similar statistic claims that 75% of 8 and 9 year-old children are happy with their appearance, whereas only 56% of that same group agree during the ages 12 and 13. Teenagers and adolescent children become more aware of their place on the social ladder, and begin measuring themselves up against what they see in their peers. This creates a sort of caste system based on appearance and social skills that every adult has to admit that they’ve either witnessed or been a part of during their school years.