Throwaway Society: The Impact on the Individual

For the past 30 years or so, values have changed and moral concepts such as respect, loyalty and compassion have been eroded.  The sociologists will no doubt have many explanations for this phenomenon, based on research and plenty of empirical evidence.  But when it comes down to it, there is nothing like personal life-experiences to teach the hard lessons of the throwaway society.  This cultural shift is epitomised by the belief that if something is not perfect, then it is no longer of any value, just throw it away and get another one.   When it comes to partners and relationships, this belief, once put into action, has disastrous and tragic consequences for every individual concerned.

Partnerships and marriages are entered into, often with an ideal of perfection, based on unrealistic expectations.  Possibly, the old saying “Love is blind,” has elements of truth when considering why people should delude themselves, or at any rate, fail to accept that nothing and nobody can ever be perfect.  But real love is about loving someone for everything about them, warts and all. 

Now, if the throwaway cultural view is applied, say for example,  to a beloved laptop, see what happens.  For three years, it has worked perfectly, like a loyal servant, a valued friend or good companion.  One day, a fault develops, probably one that could be fixed with time, patience and a little effort.  No, that does not happen.  Instead, the laptop goes in the dumpster and a new, brighter, more perfect one is purchased.  Extend that analogy to a three year marriage or partnership, when things have begun to be taken for granted, romance is slightly worn, and a little malfunction occurs.  Sad to say, it is perceived that the time has come to put the relationship in the dumpster and get a new, brighter, more perfect partner.

Unlike the laptop that stands alone, or at least can have its hardware adapted, there are people in this case who will be hurt, discarded and damaged.  The one who does not want to be thrown away will be devastated.  The close family members will be left in a limbo of sorrow and divided loyalties.  Worst of all, if there are children in this scenario, much pain will be visited on them.  After three years, there may well be one or two, or in second marriages, with blended families, more.  The younger ones, it is often presumed, will be more able to cope with the loss of a daddy or mommy from their everyday lives.  The older children, who have a better understanding, will nevertheless, suffer deeper loss,  insecurity, guilt and even psychological problems.

So there are the horrendous, cruel results, the fall-out caused by following the throwaway principles.  To go back to the beginning, where the old values of loyalty, respect and compassion were cited, creates a big question – why?  The only response that encompasses all of it is that a selfish, consumerist societal norm has become an acceptable way to progress through life.  Just so long as the individual’s ego is satisfied, to hell with everyone else.  What an indictment on society.  No need to spare another, or many others’ feelings, just go ahead and gratify.  The real impact is tragic, real people are hurt.  Change can only begin with the individual, and the question remains, who gives a damn?

This article may be variously interpreted as the ramblings of an old reactionary, the rantings of a religion-bound believer, or the cynical outpourings of bitter experience.  It is none of these.  It is from the heart of one caught in the fall-out from one throwaway relationship.  Again.