Tongue Gestures That Crazy Women Do to Other Women

Marie Louis stepped out of her bright yellow VW Bug and slammed the car door. She click-clacked in her four inch heeled Louis Vuitton shoes over to Coach that was located in her local mall.

Marie tossed her shimmery infused caramel colored hair over her shoulder. She smoothed out her silk navy Michael Kors halter so there were no prone wrinkles. She was sooo ready to load up on her Amex Credit Card.

Then, she spotted her crazy next-door-neighbor, Nanute Doorbuster, staring at her intently. Her dull, sunburnt, chapped lips were slightly open and her one sided dark brown-to-another-side bright red, dull, frizzy “home permed” hair job was awfully dry. It begged for moisture(water) just like a dog on a hot summer day.

Then Nanute’s tongue poked out of her mouth and she wiggled it back and forth rapidly. Then up and down and at every angle. She then let it roll down like a dog and gawked at Marie.

She suddenly belted out into the clear, fresh morning. “I lovvvvvvveeeeee youuuuuu!” Everyone inside the Coach store turned to look at the insane girl.

Marie quickly ducked into Coach and hid behind some red C-embossed pocketbooks–that was the same shade as her cheeks.

Nanute quickly entered Coach. “Marie,” she mouthed, jumping up and down on the pristine, cream white marble floor, like a child eager to enter into Willa Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. She started whispering sweet nothings across the room, casually following Maria around the room. As if!

“I love you,” she mouthed. “Marry me or else!”

Marie felt the heat rushing to her cheeks more and then something clicked into her brain. She rushed up to a high-fashioned saleswoman dressed in part Calvin Klein and part BCBG and wore five inch heeled designer shoes. She waved her arms in the air and pointed at Nanute, who was looking at a bright hot pink C-embossed bag with a matching silk scarf tied around it, like she shopped in Coach every day of her life. As if!

Three beefy, two tanned and one Asian, stepped onto the scene and grabbed Nanute by the arms. 

Sure, Nanute threatened in her native tongue(that was tongue gestures) and screamed like an outraged celebrity at the paparatizzi. But she was no match for the three guys, who found a Coach tan colored wallet in her Walmart bag. She was soon placed in a police car–escorting her to prison.

The high-fashioned saleswoman turned to Marie, smoothing her cream white silk sequined tank. “Now, Ms. Louis you may shop in privacy,” she said. “Will that be all? Let us know if we can be of further assistance to you.”

Marie marched to the bags where Nanute have been standing. She gazed at the beautiful designs. She glanced at the saleswoman. “Yes, I think that will be all.”