Society as whole is all too willing to follow the crowd, to offer what they feel is expected of them, to become the ‘nice’ suburban family.

In his attempt to battle crime, Jeremy Bentham used this very theory to design his Panoptican; a building of incarceration with a watch tower enabling guards to watch every movement of inmates. The psychological objective being the subjects of surveillance became their own overseer, the illusion of an all seeing eye making them self policing.

Conformity is the ultimate hold of the psychological prison. People generally need to feel they belong, are afraid to stand out from the crowd, so in order to ‘fit in’ they confirm. Conformity comes in three forms, compliance; public conformity while keeping beliefs hidden. Identity; conforming with someone who is respected. Internalization; acceptance of behaviours both privately and publicly. The teenager is completely free from psychological imprisonment, they rebel to conformity with their dyed outlandish hairstyles, their questionable clothing and deliberate displays of hedonism. For the majority this freedom is left in the youth of teenage years and over written by the politics of work and society.

Listening to the unqualified is considered the common error. Regardless of the problem or situation there is always somebody, often many who have advice they wish to bestow. Probably the most commonly recognised is the flow that comes freely to new and expectant mothers; the horror stories of others pregnancies and births. The grandmothers knowledge gained from years of raising her own children. The opinions of the fathers mother who did it very differently now delighting in the success she made of him. Friends and family want the best for you. Their motives and intentions are good, but they see the world through their own fears and failings. Ultimately it is always best to trust yourself.

Sound advice come from the elite, from trained experts. Self starters, people in control of their own destiny know they are not an island and will need help from others; they seek the advice of the experienced, those who achieved the desired goals, become successful in their field. There is little point seeking guidance on becoming financially independent from someone who is a bankrupt.

Criticism is a valuable and important part of self improvement/growth, it should however always be considered carefully on a number of levels before the recipient takes note of the comments made; is the critic suitable experienced to offer any advice? Is the criticism offered as an appraisal or as an ego booster for the advisor? On many occasions the critique is offered not for the benefit of the receiver but in an attempt for the critic to feel superior. Genuine constructive criticism comes in an in-depth format, one which shows the relevant as well as the irrelevant. The constructive critic offers not only comments on the negative but also the positive allowing an overall appraisal of the situation.

People who choose to make their friends circle from those who are ‘other people’ consciously set themselves up to become psychologically imprisoned. By spending time with these people they only add to their fears of what others think. Those who make friends with the mindset of ‘live and let live’ free themselves from these fears and can begin a journey of peace of mind, a life of contentment.

All pictures from Google Images