Walking Through Life Alone

For some singles, life is not easy. According to recent figures, 200 million adults in Europe are single. Twenty five percent of all adult men and thirty five percent of all adult women are walking through life alone. With longer life spans and the increasing divorce rate, the number is sure to rise.

Many of them don’t live alone by choice. Death, an unwanted divorce, or never having found the “right person”, has left them to face the pressures of life on their own.

Three Major Categories of those who Walk Alone

The Unmarried

Many men and women take the deliberate choice to remain single – and they are happy with it. Some choose to walk alone for physical problems, fear of sexual relationship, and apprehension about the total commitment that marriage demands the life of unmarried singles carries with it certain dangers, first is that of WITHDRAWAL. The one who withdraws himself/herself from people is inclined to lose perspective on life in general. SELFISHNESS is the second. Accustomed to making choices for herself/himself, he/she decides alone how the money and time is spent. PURPOSELESSNESS is the third, because this single has no children, no marital partner and he/she is readily able to satisfy material needs, one finds it easy to drift through life without moving toward any meaningful goals.
It’s wrong to categorize singles as losers, misfits, or abnormal. They are people with needs – just like anyone else.

The Divorced

Every person who has ever been divorced can testify to the severe pain and heartache involved. There’s anguish in being rejected by the one to whom you’ve entrusted your love and life. The loneliness, fear and hurt are deep and real. The divorced person often is convinced that he/she could never be happy again.

There are 3 stages in rebounding from a divorce:

• The Shock Stage. You are numb from the experience; your emotions seem powerless to handle it. You are in no condition to make any lifelong decisions. Most of the time, you are simply going through the motions, making time until you can gather your thoughts and feelings are able to face reality once again.
• The Adjustment Stage. Here, you begin to accept the realities of your situation. You have become aware that life must go on, though it seems impossible. You learn to cope with emotional wounds. You’re more realistic about finances, the educational needs of your children and your own vocation.
• The Growth Stage. You become positive about managing your own affairs and do better and better at becoming the mature, well adjusted person you’d like to be.

During these 3 stage process of adjustment, you gradually became aware of the things you must do to make life meaningful and enjoyable and begin to do something about them.

The Widowed

The adjustment to living alone can be made easier by the following suggestions:

1. Express your Grief. For those who mourn, such emotional release brings peace and the ability to accept the loss with some degree of dignity and composure. Occasionally, however, the surviving wife or husband keep their feelings bottled up inside. They maintained composure in the memorial service. But after a few weeks or months, they go to pieces.
2. Acknowledge that Life goes on. When a love one is taken by death, life oftentimes, seems to lose all meaning for the survivor. This is the time that you must discipline yourself to recognize that life goes on. Each new day offers you fresh challenges. There’s work to be done, children to be cared for and nurtured, and many, many more.
3. Accept your New Role. The sooner the surviving spouse see and accept their new role – as walking through life alone – the sooner they can adjust to it.
4. Re-enter Society. Decide to become involved with your friends and relatives, to enter into society again. As you relax and enjoy such occasions, your grief will begin to fade. You’ll be soon find life more much brighter.

If you are one who walks alone, as you follow these suggestions, you will not only benefit from these, but also your loved one.

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