What Love Has to Do with It

 But no matter how rich a family is, it won’t buy anyone’s love. The film Martha and Ethel demonstrated that very well, as Ethel provided the love that the 2 financially successful parents couldn’t. In that film, having a good career was important before settling down to have kids. In that family, love was defined through money, which made having Ethel a savior in the outcome of those children.

            But life in the working class isn’t all that easy, as Rubin’s interviews help point out. When people are happy, it is in every aspect of life – it is in their career, in their relationships, and in their personal interests. When a person is doing something everyday that is interesting to him, he comes home a more relaxed and satisfied individual, something I realized from reading Rubin’s interviews. When you come home and are in front of the TV, not actually communicating with the person you love, life becomes mundane and unfulfilling. Having a job becomes more about providing a place to live and having food on the table, which fulfills the duty of taking care of one’s family, but slowly deteriorates the duty of taking care of one’s relationships. This is because doing something everyday that feels like labor and isn’t worth being happy about, it can impact one’s own wellbeing. When a person’s wellbeing is shot, it makes it difficult to teach and show how to live a mentally healthy life.

            The term “adapt or die” as a survival method stemmed from the biological evolution of humans, but also from their social evolution. Knowing how to love and be loved, communicating effectively, relating to others in an equal manner, is something that must be taught. Sometimes, these lessons can be self-taught, however that requires a strong desire within oneself to learn the ideal way of having a healthy relationship. Plus, learning how to love and be loved becomes harder the older we get, because it means we must undue the lessons we previously learned. Though it takes more time and energy, it can be done. Our society can evolve as a strong and stable group, but that requires the love, patience, and understanding of each individual. Having this mentality from a young age allows for not knowing any other way. Additionally, it also helps form healthier relationships from a young age. These types of relationships are the practice we get for the union that marriage aspires to. In turn, it ensures the continuing of healthy, loving, and stable individuals and relationships.

Bibliography

Hooks, Bell. All About Love. New York, NY: HarperCollins, 2001.

Grauerholz, Liz, and David M. Newman. Sociology of Families. 2nd ed. Thousand

     Oaks, CA: Sage 2002.

Lynch, Thomas. “Wombs.” Bodies in Motion at Rest (no date)

Rubin, Lillian B. Worlds of Pain: Life in the Working-Class Family. New York,

     NY: BasicBooks, 1992.

Martha and Ethel film