Where Did the Fathers Go?

My husband didn’t have any children when we met and he was 24 years old, yet when we fell in love he fell in love with my child too.  He has been the most amazing and devoted father I have ever had the pleasure to see in action and I know that the biological donor would’ve never been able to love my kid in that way.

So, back to my question, I guess the answer would be that the definition of the word “father” has evolved and change with time.  At some point some men decided that biological and genetic material was just that, material that could be wasted, abandoned and given away as they please.  This has made way for a brand new breed of men, “real fathers”, the ones that are there for everything from when our kid’s heart is broken to a scraped knee.

My son and I are really lucky to know a “real father” a man who is there no matter what.  Not everybody is that lucky, many children grow up with just the pain of feeling like they were not worth it for their “fathers”. This abandonment becomes sometimes a hate so big it can dictate the course of their lives.  This is partly why I decided to not force my son’s “donor” to be in his life. Yes he would’ve probably had to pay child support and have a couple of weekends a month with my child a child he didn’t want to father.  The bottom line is my son wouldn’t be able to talk to a twenty dollar bill about girls, he wouldn’t be able to get comfort from a twenty dollar bill when he was sad, upset or in pain so what good would that have done in the end.

We all make our choices in life and most times we have to live with the consequences of those choices, it just seems unfair when innocent kids have to learn to cope with absent or, in my case, non-existent fathers… Biological donors.