You Know You’re in Australia When
by As Australia Day approaches, I am beginning to feel that patriotic swelling of the heart. To celebrate, I have listed some of the best and strangest of Oz.
- BBQ’s happen so often, getting invited to one is virtually a daily occurrence.
- Names like boofhead, old bastard and wanker can be used as terms of endearment.
- There are multiple verbs for “going to the toilet” and all are widely used and understood.
- You can go to the pub for a few beers and then choose from Chinese, Thai, Indian, Greek, Mexican, Italian or Lebanese take away from anywhere on the same street.
- It matters whether you drive a Ford or a Holden.
- ‘F**k’ or “f**king are useful descriptives for just about anything.
- Doing burnout”s is a religious activity.
- Pot, fireworks and banned pornography are legal in the Federal Capital but nowhere else in the country.
- Your house has an outside toilet and you have a name for the red-back that lives there.
- There is a public holiday for a horse race.
- You go to the supermarket in barefeet, covered in sand after being at the beach all day.
- Sick days are used for something fun. When you’re sick you go to work.
- The lamest excuse can be used for drinking beer at all hours of the day, and the excuse is always accepted.
- A union strike coincides with the start of the 1st Test or the State of Origin.
- If you drive a ute, you also own a dog that rides in the back.
- Kamal is known as a legend.
- If there is a huge line in the supermarket/motor registry/medicare office, there are only two counters open.
- Council workers stand around amazed that one of them is actually working.
- The local pub offers free breakfast with it’s poker machine promotion.
- The 10 deadliest creatures in the world live here and you are proud of it.
- You have smashed more than a few windows with the cricket ball, and the neighbours have done the same to you.
- People put copious amounts of tomato sauce on just about anything.
- City folk that drive 4wd’s have never actually taken them off road.
- You can find parts for your Holden by the side of the road.
- You have been on the piss all night and get woken at 6am by f**king kookaburras!
- Everyone owns an Esky and uses it as a seat.
- You think Warnie is a legend and a dickhead at the same time.
- Every kid automatically loves Vegemite from the first taste.
- You know you are in the greatest country in the world and love every bit of it…..
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