Civil Manners

Regardless of how many people extol the virtue of good manners, too often these days we see clear signs that the rules governing manners don’t seem to apply to them. Manners are an important part of our lives, but more and more they seem to be falling by the wayside. I’ve spoken with a few people on this topic and it seems that the general consensus is that while good manners are an admirable trait, this is only true for other people. We all must come to the understanding together that we are other people! Others look to us to see what will be acceptable or in fact exemplary and what will cause the passerby to question our upbringings. Let us try to set the example by following the few rules that are not yet governed by law.

Intersex Relationships:

Men and women being inherently different, both biologically and socially, have mannerly roles assigned to them in our western culture that we may not even notice. They have become so common to us that we don’t even think about them, but I feel that is necessary to identify them so we can take the conscious effort to please our counterparts (be they our female or male counterparts). Let us take a few examples:

• Women should always be protected from discomfort if at all possible so it behooves her male accompaniment to walk on the street side of her on a sidewalk also;
• For men to open doors for women whenever possible (in a car it helps for the man to ask the woman to wait while you get her door)
• Inversely, when eating or enjoying entertainment it is polite and decent for the lady in attendance to be the main passer of food to the extent of serving plates of guests if the situation commends it, also
• It is the best thing for all involved parties to excuse bodily functions (hold your gas, excuse burping, offer to clean your puke up and so on)

Then of course there are the plethoras of small things we can do when around members of the same sex or in a professional atmosphere. The interested should seek out a copy of Emily Post’s Etiquette in Society or at least try to exert some of the polite influence we have seen of others in our daily life. Trust me, life will be a lot easier that way.