Developing Moral Character in Children

As a stay-at-home mother, I frequently take my 2-year-old son Daniel, to the park. At the park we have observed other parents with their toddlers who arrive about the same time Daniel and I do. As a result, Daniel has found playmates in Brad, Virginia, and Antonio. One Afternoon Antonio’s father and I watched as Antonio ran across the playground after Daniel, called him a punk then pushed him onto the ground where he remained crying to himself. Three year-old Virginia approached Daniel, hugged him and tried to wipe his tears away. A little embarrassed, Mr. Lawes apologized for his son’s behavior adding that at home he constantly gets into things and has become more and more demanding.

“He refuses to listen to anything I have to say to him or ask of him,” says Mr. Lawes.

I saw that Daniel had regained his composure as he, Virginia and Brad were playing a friendly game of “catch me if you can.”

Later that evening after putting Daniel to bed many questions came to my mind. Was Antonio’s aggressive behavior towards Daniel learned or instinctive? Can his behavior be changed? What can parents do to develop values of moral character in their children in order to behave appropriately?

Experts say that most of children’s behavior is learned. What behavior is learned depends on how they interact with their environment.

Sue Spayth Riley, How to Generate Values in Young Children says, “the tasks of parents is to shape their child’s learning environment. This would give them frequent practice in freedom of choice.” Riley tells how Sam is given an opportunity to freely learn to choose. Sam was two and a half. He had learned to stay dry during the day and wore training pants. However, at night he wore diapers. Sam drank his bottle of milk before he fell asleep. So, his diapers were soggy by morning. One evening he decided he didn’t want to wear diapers anymore, but still wanted his bottle at bedtime. The next morning his crib was soaked with urine leaving Sam miserable and unhappy. The next evening his mother gave him the freedom to choose between two alternatives.

She said, “Sam, if you want the bottle at night, that’s fine, but you get so wet you’ll have to use diapers. If you want to wear only training pants, that’s fine too but you will have to stop the bottle before bedtime.”