Learning to Love Ourselves and Not the Knife: Why is Plastic Surgery Seen as the Panacea for Happiness?

How many times do you walk into a room seeking professional help and you hesitate as you enter because the ‘professional’ looks just too young?  You lose confidence!  Signs of aging are there to ‘distinguish’ the wise and experienced from the ‘young’ ‘beautiful’ and possibly still a bit ‘daft’.

So why does society not strive to create ‘idols’ from those that have proved to be great women in more important and lasting ways?

 As humans we are programmed to aspire so why not turn our attention to the women that have risen to the top of professions through hard work and determination.   Or consider the women who care and improve the lives of other, women who overcome adversity; perhaps women who have become writers, artists and musicians. 

Why do women successful women disappear from the sight lines of the young girls who so badly need role models and female success to emulate?  When we do have admirable women in the media, so much time is spent discussing their fashion choices, hair cuts, figures and very little time spent considering how they achieved academic goals, their professional routes to success.  Michelle Obama is a prime example of this.

 Here is a woman who could inspire the young.  Every time she is mentioned it is in connection with what she is wearing and how she must have worked out for hours to have achieved such slim arms.  I would like to suggest she spent many more hours studying the law to gain her qualifications.  To some extent I accept this media response as inevitable but it could be countered with some reference to her professional-skills, her route to study and her personal interests.   She did not, after all, drop from some shop window into the role of First Lady.

In conclusion

I am so relieved that I am not faced with the obvious fears that drive women (primarily) to such drastic measures.  I am lucky to have been married to a wonderful, younger man who actually thinks I look lovely first thing in the morning and finds the notion of lots of make-up troubling.  He married the part of me that lies beneath the skin.

 We are lucky enough to live in France and here women of all ages are seen as attractive.  Recently I overheard him and a French friend when they caught sight of the Oscar award ceremonies on the television – they were wondering what was wrong with all the women.  Far too thin and overly painted! 

Sharing my life with a man that appreciates the wholeness of women and their many facets was not completely an accident.  I think that my mother’s attitude to life, love, looks and learning programmed me to expect nothing less from my partner, saving me a life time of feelings of inadequacy.

It is the importance of the maternal role in all of this that should not be over-looked.  Women and mothers need to act to ensure that this striving for a ‘perfection’ driven by the fantasies of weak men does not pass to further generations.

 My daughters see themselves as women, mothers, partners, colleagues and friends, they are lovely because they are young but it will not last forever and they will eventually have to accept a mature beauty and let their own children shine with youthful attractiveness.  I see their attitude as being a sign of success passed from my mother to me and that is far more satisfying than the removal of any wrinkle.

My mother has featured (not unnaturally) a lot here, and I finish with one of her regular comments which I think we should all consider.

“Old age is a privilege………….not everyone makes it!”