Proud to be a New-age Grandparent

Who are new-aged grandparents? They are grandparents between the ages of 40 and 60 and have very real lives that include the rearing of their grandchildren. This is an increasing phenomenon where nationally 4.5 million children live in households headed by grandparents. 29% of these are African American, 17% Hispanic/Latino, and 47% White. 34% are households where the parents are not present for varying reasons.

This trend is having a major effect on the quality of life both grandparents and their grandchildren enjoy because many never factored into their long-term life plans raising another generation of children. As a result, they have to resort to taking second mortgages on their homes, using retirement funds or savings to adjust financially. There are often expensive legal fees that accompany taking on guardianship of grandchildren. In addition, many of these grandchildren experience emotional and health issues that present additional challenges for grandparents. Even more, grandparents who fall in the age range of 40-60 find greater challenges still because support and resources are quite limited for this group. They also find it difficult to balance the continued pursuit of personal endeavors with second generation parenting.

I will never forget the moment I discovered my eldest daughter was with child. It was November 2006, she was visiting home while on Thanksgiving break from college. My immediate reaction was that of encouragement since she was an unwed mother-to-be. It was without a thought that I conveyed to her that this (the pregnancy) was not a sign of the end of the world. I told her that I would be there for her, I loved her unconditionally, and that I would raise the baby once she returned to school to complete her education for that would be her ticket to independence and self-sufficiency. In the following months, I came to a realization – I didn’t know anything about being a grandmother. Well, I was aware of the traditional school of thought of “love “em, spoil “em and send “em back home to their parents’ but what do you do when they live with you?

At forty years old and the single parent of seven children, four of whom are in college, I thought that this was now my time. My days of imagining a time when the nest would finally become empty had come to a screeching halt. After the serious realization that in essence I was going to be a parent again, I thought to myself, “this is not cute”! Once my granddaughter was born, I felt terribly ill prepared. I was surprised by how much I loved her, I didn’t think I could love any harder or any more than I did as a parent but my grandchild represented more than just a child to me but the very reason I lived. While raising my own children, they had the direct benefit of knowing everything about me. They were my best friends, the wind beneath my wings in the midst of trying times.