Sex? What a Dirty Thing

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The concept of virginity is one which pervades society to its core but in a different manner to most steadfast notions. Ignoring the wisdom set forth by the great Terry Pratchett, day is the opposing condition to night, black to white, good to bad, but virginity is often described in a manner laced with synonyms for purity; white, good, cherubic, while those who have caved to their instincts and played hide the salami are, perhaps, viewed as less than wholesome. I am here to contend this view.

One of the most tired, yet true, arguments is that sex is a natural occurrence. While this is true I would like to turn to other rationales in order to explain my view. The ‘virginity is a virtue’ postulate is often a religious mandate. The Bible stipulates that virginity before marriage is a necessity and that it is honourable and priests and bishops of some denominations are required to be celibate but the idea of abstinence extends beyond the religious world and is also promoted as a way of preventing the spread of STDs and of preventing pregnancy. While not engaging in sexual contact would indeed prevent the above it has been shown time and time again that abstinence is an unrealistic target for young people yet the view of the adult population does seem to be that people just past the age of majority shouldn’t be engaging in the horizontal boogie, even when condoms and other birth control measures are introduced into the mix. This may seem like a renegade view but when you consider the importance placed upon a person’s so called purity reversing the values lands us at that conclusion.

Minors, those who are mentally and/or physically immature, should not be having sex, clearly. But beyond that, STDs and unwanted pregnancy, sex should not be seen as the villain of the piece. Much is made of the aforementioned problems but rarely is it stated that sex can lead to a strengthened bond between two people or that it raises one’s self esteem and confidence.

It has been argued that certain programmes on television celebrate promiscuity while marginalising virginity as an unappealing feature belonging to the shy and unassuming members of the cast and in doing so these studios place teenagers and young adults under undue pressure. I am inclined to agree with this assessment to an extent but would hope that the majority of young adults are more dedicated to their beliefs and lifestyle choices than to be swayed by a TV show. Feelings of inadequacy resulting from depictions in the media are common and affect most people but are not just due to their sexual exploits. Rather, most TV shows feature stunningly attractive people who are talented at almost everything. Viewers are still able to use their own judgement and I sincerely hope most are not cowed into having sex before their time because of these glamorised depictions of high school.

Those who wish to abstain from sex are free to do so and perhaps should not place such importance on TV shows that have been so obviously sprinkled with the falsities of fiction such as 90210 and Skins but at the same time maybe these shows could slightly shift focus to something besides sex. The Inbetweeners has done a good job of portraying the desire of teenagers to have sex coupled with their inability to do so, Skins shows the consequences sex can have for the unprepared and even American Pie ends with the clear statement that sex shouldn’t be on a pedestal.

The conclusion I feel is natural is that neither extreme is necessarily a virtue or a problem, the truth is less cut and dried, more grey than black or white, depending on circumstances and the individuals concerned but those who advocate virginity as a condition of purity remain vociferous in their claims. Perhaps in doing so they are inadvertently placing an opposing pressure on these already strained young adults.