Unhappy with Your Life? It Could be Negative Mantras

Have you ever doubted yourself or been hesitant to speak out when others have ideas in conflict with yours? Have you ever procrastinated because you were afraid you just couldn’t do something perfect enough?  Have you ever wondered why people who are less talented, attractive or intelligent than you are seem to feel so much better about themselves than you do? 

Many intelligent, creative and successful people harbor inner self doubt that would amaze anyone looking in from the outside. As a therapist, I see the pain that is caused when people beat themselves up mentally with negative self-talk. Some of the people who come to see me are already aware of the harmful messages they give themselves.  But others send themselves these messages unconsciously, replaying them over and over without even being aware of them. I call these harmful messages “negative mantras”.  

For a long time, eastern religions have known the power of mantras. These are powerful phrases, repeated over and over, in order to bring about a positive spiritual change. And though you might not have such a fancy name for it, the chances are that you probably use mantras everyday.  Quite simply, mantras are the things we tell ourselves.  A mantra could be what you say to yourself to get psyched up for a big meeting.  Or what you tell yourself to stay positive when life is getting you down. When mantras are positive and constructive, they can help us enjoy our lives and achieve our goals.  But the negative things we tell ourselves can also act as mantras, and can have a profound effect on our lives. 

Negatives mantras can cause you to feel responsibility and guilt for things that are not your fault, hamper your ability to get along in relationships, or cause you to doubt your own talents or abilities. These feelings can lead to over-eating, anxiety, procrastination, addiction and depression.  Negative mantras can keep you from achieving your goals and take the joy out of the things you love.

So what can you do if negative mantras are interfering in your life?

The first step is to recognize your negative mantras.  Begin by paying attention when uncomfortable feelings surface.  As you are aware of the feelings, “listen” for the negative thoughts passing through your mind.  Ask yourself, “what was I thinking just before I felt like that?” Once you recognize that you are sending yourself negative mantras, you can turn them into positive ones, and bring about the changes you want.  But sometimes it can be very hard to let go of negative thoughts, since they are often tied to deeply held beliefs, traumatic experiences or unresolved emotions. In that case you may need the help in learning new techniques to get to the root of the beliefs. 

I have been a hypnotherapist for over 25 years, and I have found a combination of hypnotic and Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) to be the fastest way to reprogram old beliefs and mantras that aren’t working.