Inside The Mind of a Cutter

When you suspect someone is cutting, don’t start the conversation with, “Hey are stupid?” Try a gentler approach, something like “Hey, are you OK?” I’ll almost guarantee that they will lie and say “Yup, I’m good.” . Leave it alone for a while, don’t push, or people tend to push back.

Secondly, let them know that you are there if they ever need to talk about anything. Open up to them a little, you have to show a little trust, before someone can trust you. and again don’t push the topic, don’t be confrontational. It will only make things worse for both sides.

I know this is a hard one, but talk to their parents. If you are the parent, the last thing they want to do is talk to you. Build them a support system with out them knowing. Soon enough, they will have a support system and not even realize it. Don’t ambush them. Find information on cutting. Read about it, learn about it, try to understand it the best that you can.

Have a “cutting buddy” I know what your thinking, and it’s not like it sounds!Its someone they can talk to when they feel like cutting.  You or a friend, sometimes even a journal: Give them an outlet, that they can turn to when they feel like cutting. Someone or something that will not judge them, that will not freak out. Someone that can stay level headed and talk to them about how they are feeling.

Never tell a cutter that you know what they are going threw. You don’t, unless you are a cutter yourself, you just don’t. Try something like, “I want to help you understand why you feel the way you do.” or ” I am worried about you.”  Never directly mention the cutting. It is all about the cutting, but it’s not. Remember cutting is only an outlet. There is something driving the cutting. There is something there making them feel like it is the only outlet they have.

This is the tricky part. Don’t ever try to handle cutters soley by yourself. They do need help from a professional. But do build them a support system. If your the parent, make them an appointment with a therapist, right after school one afternoon,  or later in the evening after they come home from their friends. They don’t want to be “the freak in therapy”. So schedule it when they don’t have to explain to their friends why they can’t hang out.

These are the things that help me: I have a support system with my family. I have a “cutting buddy”. To tell you the truth, she is a cutter to, this fact helps, we understand each other, and this is the only time we really talk to one another. A journal, This is my best support, A journal cannot judge, It doesn’t talk back, And I can read my past entry’s and recognize my triggers. My therapist, I do not see him on a regular basis anymore, but he is still in my speed dial. We still speak every once in a while, when I’m having a horrid day.

Am I a cutter? Yes. Am I an active cutter? No.

Something that I have learned threw the years: I will always be a cutter, just like an alcoholic will always be an alcoholic. The want is always there. The need is always there. Its a decision that you face everyday. Its a choice that you make. The trick of it is training your self to make that decision before you actually have to.