Teen Tantrums

Teen tantrums

As all parents will attest to, the terrible twos are just that…terrible. Or at least in the way of tantrums. The screaming, watery eyed, fist banging little angels are just trying to push the limits to see how far they can go. How much can they get away with? Well, as a child ages, the tantrums change, but the reasons behind them remain the same. Power! Who has it? The parent, or the child.

Actually, the methods of tantrums don’t change all that much. There is still the screaming and the watery eyes. Hopefully, a main difference will be that your little angel no longer throws himself/herself on the floor banging their little fists. Now, they have progressed to the foot stomping, name calling, and in extreme cases, even the fists flying at your face fits. What is a parent to do?

Well, the same thing many parents did when the child was young and throwing fits would work just as well as when they become snarling teenage angels. Just now, the child is more stubborn, more determined to get their way, and a whole lot bigger and possibly more intimidating. Do Not let that deter you.

When little two year old angels threw themselves on the floor in a fit of rage, many parents stepped calmly over them and walked away. This would show the child that no matter what the fit was, they were not going to get their way, and they would not get sympathy or any reaction for the most part out of the parent. A tantrum, no matter what age it is thrown, is an attention seeking manipulative ploy. It serves only to upset the other person enough to either make them give in, or at the very least to see the persons reaction. Either way, you cannot give in to a teenager in these ways, or the tantrums will get larger and more frequent.

If you say no to a child, they will try everything in their power to get you to change your mind. Do not do this unless you are willing to accept that they will expect it on every occasion you say no to. Getting angry at the teen will do no good for either of you as well. This will serve no purpose but to upset you, and to show the teenager that they ‘got to you’.

So, what is a parent to do? Stand your ground. No means no, if you choose to give a reason, that is always best. However, a reason is really not required, even if the teen thinks it is. You are the parent, you know what is best for your child, even when they do not. If they persist on arguing the matter, either calmly tell them to ‘drop it’ or if it has gotten to a point in which the voices are being raised, walk away and take a breath. The loudest voice does not mean the person who gets heard. It has been my experience that the louder your voice is, the less the teen hears. Even a soft spoken argument may fall onto deaf teen ears if it is not what they want to hear. This is fine, as long as they respect your choices. They do not have to agree with the choice, or even like it at all, as long as they abide by it.

A teenager can be a snarling, mean spirited, vile beast. However, remember, they are your snarling, mean spirited, vile beast and you love them. They will outgrow it and become your little angel once again. The teen years are the hardest years of a child’s life, and of their parents lives. You will look back on these days with fond memories of the good times you have with your child. It’s not all tantrums and fits. Remember, even when they say otherwise, they love you and look up to you. Love them and teach them well, and you will be rewarded in knowing that you raised a wonderful human being who is a valuable person in this world. Because, every person in this world is valuable.