10/18/06 – Dear Izzie

DEAR IZZIE,

My best friend “Mary Anne” and I have known each other since the second grade. The summer before grade 10 her Mom died suddenly. Mary Anne was devastated.

School started and she started distancing herself from me and hanging out with a bad crowd that got her into drugs and alcohol. By the time June rolled around she’d been kicked out of most of her classes because of all her absences.

It’s another year now. About a month ago she called me and said she was really scared. She said she was hooked on weed. Her behavior hasn’t changed any and I’m really freaked out. I’m afraid of loosing my best friend. What can I do to make her stop?

SIGNED, SCARED AND LONELY IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR SCARED,

The thing about addictions is that you have to be ready to admit you have a problem. It sounds like Mary Anne has reached that point, but she can’t kick this addiction alone. If you haven’t already you should check out a Narcotics Anonymous meeting near you. If she won’t go with you, go alone.

You also need to talk to Mary Anne’s Dad about your concerns. They’re probably his too or he might have no idea what’s going on. Either way, you don’t need to do this alone. Talk to a trusted teacher or clergy person and ask them if they’ll go with you to talk to Mary Anne’s Dad. Her Dad should book her into an inpatient program that will deal with all of the issues, including her grief over the sudden death of her mother.

Good luck!

DEAR IZZIE,

I’ve been talking to this girl I’ll call “Rose” online since last June. It’s totally platonic. We became really close really fast and told each other everything. If pressed to classify the friendship I would definitely consider her one of my best friends.

All this changed around New Year’s. We stopped talking as often, and I thought nothing of it because by this time we both had jobs something we hadn’t had the previous year. But by March we didn’t talk at all. She had a lot of stuff going on and I totally get that I wasn’t there for her the way I should’ve been.