10/18/06 – Dear Izzie

I keep informed on her life through her online journal. She hasn’t de-friended me on MySpace or anything although I have been doing the slow walk of shame through her top 20, every few months I move down further. The thing is, right now the onus is totally on her for us not talking. I have AIM, MSN, Y, ICQ, and MySpace messenger. I’m even considering getting the new one from LiveJournal. I have countless e-mail accounts and for that matter, I’ve e-mailed her. She hasn’t responded, but in comments on her Diaryland, she’s responded that she’ll be back soon and we’ll talk soon and she loves and misses me. This seems like a contradiction to her actions and I’ve always been taught actions speak louder than words.

I’m really confused and really hurt. I get that during this time I haven’t always been what you would call understanding, but if you want to get nitpicky, neither has she. I’ve worried about her. I still care about her and would still consider her a friend.

Am I out of my mind for thinking this way? Should I just send her a message ending this all? Is it as ridiculous as it seems?

SIGNED, CONFUSED IN ONTARIO, CANADA

DEAR CONFUSED,

No, you’re not totally out of your mind. People end things at different times, depending on when they feel ready to let go. I can’t tell you that you should end it, only you can decide that.

The thing about online friendships is sometimes they can feel more intense then they really are. This may or may not be the case here.

People leave things mid-sentence so to speak for a variety of reasons. Sometimes they do it to prevent someone they care about from getting hurt, sometimes they do it because they’re coping mechanisms are so overloaded they just freeze and sometimes they do it to end things, like relationships. Without knowing Rose I can’t tell you what’s happened here.

What I can say, is if Rose did this with the intention to protect you or because her coping mechanisms got totally bogged down, she should understand that anger was one of the emotions you experienced and needed to release during this “down time”.

Good luck, and write back to tell me how things go.

Have a question? You can write Dear Izzie on Myspace by clicking this link