After I finished reading the article, I went through the comments. A lot of the readers seemed appalled which is understandable. Most of those same readers began rambling on about the state of society. They were saying that this was a sign that the end times were upon us. Then the children’s character was brought into question and they were called all kinds of names. Next, the blame game started. Many of the readers said the blame belonged to parents and teachers alone. The fault of this crime lies with our educational system for failing to teach kids to act.

I’m not sure if it’s because I work in the education field, but people blaming educators got me fired up. We don’t know how old the children are because the article only says they’re underage. More than likely the children are old enough to know better and put some sense into their decision making. It is not the teacher’s fault! First of all, teachers don’t teach entire lessons on how to treat animals. They have plenty of other things to teach and morals isn’t really in the curriculum. Teachers do build a community and foster interpersonal skills, but that’s something that should already have a foundation. Teaching begins at home with the children’s first teacher, their parents. You learn how to act by watching other people and being taught.

All of the blame doesn’t fall on the parents either. You can only teach your children so much and when they hit a certain age, they choose whether to use what they were taught. A parent can’t be with their children at every single moment of the day. Yes, those parents might want to have a stern talk with their children and dole out a punishment, but there really isn’t much more they can do. The parents will probably be held liable if the owner sues over vet charges. If so, those parents should make their children absorb those costs somehow.

At the end of the day, everyone isn’t horrible. Some people will make bad decisions and it is no one’s fault but their own. We don’t always need to find a scapegoat. Blaming everyone else won’t fix it or prevent it from happening again. If you’re so upset about then go donate to an organization, go out and educate people, or be a mentor. I do hope that those children will never do something like that again. I hope the boy who stopped the attack realizes how awesome he is and continues to be awesome.

Now is the time to take control. Stop people from abusing, mistreating, disrespecting or unappreciating you. One step at a time. It becomes easier as time goes on. You began to demand respect. You can do it quietly, you don’t have to yell.

You can simply start by saying NO when you dont want to do something. You can tell your kids you arent their maid or slave. You can tell your parent to stop treating you like a child. You can tell your friend NO. If these people care they will still be there. If not they didnt anyway and you may be better off.

Empowering yourself becomes easier as you take baby steps. Your family and friends may suddenly ask , “What’s wrong with you?” I had to say I know you love me, but loving me is not enough anymore. I want respect and appreciation. It may shock them initially but as you stick to your guns it works.

You feel better and become confident. I am doing it everyday. Everyday I get stronger where it counts. Taking control of my own self worth. Demanding that others realize it as well.

Good luck on your journey. Baby steps…You will get there

While next to her, he slept

Despite knowing of the pain

He caused to her each day

She loves him yet she hates

Can’t stand when he berates

She prays it ends, and soon

With hopes he’ll change his ways

She knows he cannot change

It’s just how life’s arranged

She knows she’ll have to leave him

The choice is hers to make

He’ll force her then to stay

If she leaves him in the day

So night time’s when she’ll leave

To insure she gets away

She goes

Not wanting to look back

But knows

She’s wary of attack

She hopes

That one day it will cease

She prays

That she will find some peace

Her morning starts with sunshine

Though clouds aren’t far behind

She lives in fear, but moves ahead

To secure a life of hope

Her work and life progressing

Though fears are hers, repressing

She does what she must do

Just so that she can cope

She goes

Not wanting to look back

But knows

She’s wary of attack

She hopes

That one day it will cease

She prays

That she will find some peace

Aidan King

Sylvia Plath Analysis

On: Daddy & Lady Lazarus

            Sylvia Plath, though a talented student and a virtuosic poet, spent the majority of her life combating severe depression, leading to her successful suicide at the tragically young age of thirty. One of the roots of this mental and emotional instability, as seen in Daddy and Lady Lazarus, can be attributed to Plath’s destructive relationship with her father and the years of despise towards society’s patriarchal figures.

            Plath masterfully uses the first person perspective in these two semi-autobiographical poems. As the victim, she uses “I,” evoking sympathy from those who also associate themselves as victims. She refers to the antagonist – and the reader – as “you,” which also produces feelings of remorse, pity, and even guilt. Her confessional hatred in “Daddy,” with the phrases “You bastard” (80) and “Brute heart of a brute like you,” (50) attack the reader as if to compare you to her father. She even italicizes “you” in the line “I have always been scared of you” (41), further adding to the comparison.

            While “Lady Lazarus” contains much subtler references to the Holocaust than in “Daddy,” it does however draw a stark connection between the experiences of Nazi-enslaved Jews and her own suffering. “A sort of walking miracle, my skin / Bright as a Nazi lampshade, / My right foot / A paperweight, / My face a featureless, fine / Jew linen” (4-9, Lazarus). Here, while again describing herself as objects – lampshade, paperweight, linen – Plath details the suffering surrounding her attempted suicides and equates it to the pain that Jews endured at the hands of the Nazis.

The pain she experienced was caused by her very own “Nazi:” her father. “I have always been scared of you, / With your Luftwaffe, your gobbledygoo. / And your neat mustache / And your Aryan eye, bright blue. / Panzer-man, panzer-man, O You -” (41-45, Daddy). In these lines, Plath refers to her father’s time spent as a tank operator, and the trauma it inflicted on him over the years. This trauma was in turn passed along to her, who was not even ten years old at the time. She symbolizes this with her innocent and childish references to ‘Daddy’, ‘gobbledygoo’ and ‘Achoo’. The rationalization of her concentration-camp-Jew comparison is much more believable when told through the lips of a traumatized eight year old.

Plath sees Nazis the same way she saw her father: sadistic, controlling, and manipulative, and she connotes these traits with those of all men. Examples can be drawn countlessly from both poems. “Lady Lazarus” captures how men view women as aesthetically-appealing objects, showing little concern for any internal flaws. Plath refers to the men as “The peanut-crunching crowd” (26) observing “the big strip tease” (29). This is a criticism of the male obsession with women as sexual objects.  “I am your opus, / I am your valuable” (67-68). After her failed suicide, she felt as though she were merely seen as a specimen of sorts, rather than a real human being – an equal – with severe, distressing emotional problems.

In “Daddy”, Plath uses Nazism and her father as a metaphor of the oppressive force of men. “I thought every German was you. / And the language obscene / An engine, an engine / Chuffing me off like a Jew. / A Jew to Dachau, Auschwitz, Belsen. / I began to talk like a Jew. / I think I may well be a Jew” (29-35). Plath sees all men (Germans) as her father, each one hoping to cause her suffering (Chuffing her off to Dachau). After enough time had passed, and she had been treated like an insignificant pest (like a Jew) for long enough, she began to believe it to be true.

Both “Daddy” and “Lady Lazarus” serve as great examples of Plath’s intricate and intense metaphorical writing. Without directly chronicling her autobiographical history, she successfully is able to depict her distrust and distaste for men, her father, and the Nazi regime, fitting it into one big analogy.  “Every woman adores a Facist,” (48, Daddy) serves as her mockery towards the men who do in fact believe that one must act like a hegemon to live a fulfilling life. Her father acted that way, the Nazis acted that way, and the men in her life did as well. And although her predisposition may have hastily clumped all men together, it’s undeniable that Plath, who fought a bout of depression as extensive and painful as any, had just-cause to spite the patriarchy surrounding her, and “Eat men like air.” 

Aidan King

Sylvia Plath Analysis

On: Daddy & Lady Lazarus

            Sylvia Plath, though a talented student and a virtuosic poet, spent the majority of her life combating severe depression, leading to her successful suicide at the tragically young age of thirty. One of the roots of this mental and emotional instability, as seen in Daddy and Lady Lazarus, can be attributed to Plath’s destructive relationship with her father and the years of despise towards society’s patriarchal figures.

            Plath masterfully uses the first person perspective in these two semi-autobiographical poems. As the victim, she uses “I,” evoking sympathy from those who also associate themselves as victims. She refers to the antagonist – and the reader – as “you,” which also produces feelings of remorse, pity, and even guilt. Her confessional hatred in “Daddy,” with the phrases “You bastard” (80) and “Brute heart of a brute like you,” (50) attack the reader as if to compare you to her father. She even italicizes “you” in the line “I have always been scared of you” (41), further adding to the comparison.

            While “Lady Lazarus” contains much subtler references to the Holocaust than in “Daddy,” it does however draw a stark connection between the experiences of Nazi-enslaved Jews and her own suffering. “A sort of walking miracle, my skin / Bright as a Nazi lampshade, / My right foot / A paperweight, / My face a featureless, fine / Jew linen” (4-9, Lazarus). Here, while again describing herself as objects – lampshade, paperweight, linen – Plath details the suffering surrounding her attempted suicides and equates it to the pain that Jews endured at the hands of the Nazis.

The pain she experienced was caused by her very own “Nazi:” her father. “I have always been scared of you, / With your Luftwaffe, your gobbledygoo. / And your neat mustache / And your Aryan eye, bright blue. / Panzer-man, panzer-man, O You -” (41-45, Daddy). In these lines, Plath refers to her father’s time spent as a tank operator, and the trauma it inflicted on him over the years. This trauma was in turn passed along to her, who was not even ten years old at the time. She symbolizes this with her innocent and childish references to ‘Daddy’, ‘gobbledygoo’ and ‘Achoo’. The rationalization of her concentration-camp-Jew comparison is much more believable when told through the lips of a traumatized eight year old.

Plath sees Nazis the same way she saw her father: sadistic, controlling, and manipulative, and she connotes these traits with those of all men. Examples can be drawn countlessly from both poems. “Lady Lazarus” captures how men view women as aesthetically-appealing objects, showing little concern for any internal flaws. Plath refers to the men as “The peanut-crunching crowd” (26) observing “the big strip tease” (29). This is a criticism of the male obsession with women as sexual objects.  “I am your opus, / I am your valuable” (67-68). After her failed suicide, she felt as though she were merely seen as a specimen of sorts, rather than a real human being – an equal – with severe, distressing emotional problems.

In “Daddy”, Plath uses Nazism and her father as a metaphor of the oppressive force of men. “I thought every German was you. / And the language obscene / An engine, an engine / Chuffing me off like a Jew. / A Jew to Dachau, Auschwitz, Belsen. / I began to talk like a Jew. / I think I may well be a Jew” (29-35). Plath sees all men (Germans) as her father, each one hoping to cause her suffering (Chuffing her off to Dachau). After enough time had passed, and she had been treated like an insignificant pest (like a Jew) for long enough, she began to believe it to be true.

Both “Daddy” and “Lady Lazarus” serve as great examples of Plath’s intricate and intense metaphorical writing. Without directly chronicling her autobiographical history, she successfully is able to depict her distrust and distaste for men, her father, and the Nazi regime, fitting it into one big analogy.  “Every woman adores a Facist,” (48, Daddy) serves as her mockery towards the men who do in fact believe that one must act like a hegemon to live a fulfilling life. Her father acted that way, the Nazis acted that way, and the men in her life did as well. And although her predisposition may have hastily clumped all men together, it’s undeniable that Plath, who fought a bout of depression as extensive and painful as any, had just-cause to spite the patriarchy surrounding her, and “Eat men like air.” 

People ask me why I don’t hate. Why don’t I hate my abuser. I really dislike them of course I do.

I realized I have allot of anger but it isn’t directed at the person, but at the behavior. What they did to me. I hate how they treated me.

That is why I stay away from them. I don’t like the drama and lies. The backstabbing and deceit. The falseness and superficial relationship.

I like honesty and keeping it real. I like to smile and laugh. I had enough crying in my lifetime. In my childhood and in the military. Enough is enough.

So as a adult I can control my life, I can control my environment and what type of behavior I allow in my life. That means the type of people I develop a relationship with. I can’t be a fake friend. I am to real for that.

I keep bad behavior out of my house and life. We control our world. Don’t let other people’s bad behavior interfere in your world no matter what the relationship is. Relatives, co-workers, siblings, neighbors…..if their behavior isn’t good for you, irritates you or your home darn it control your world…….

Stop it at your door….You don’t have to allow the behavior in your world…..It is YOUR world!!!!

How I don’t hate the person but the behavior? I know many donn’t understand that. But think about it.

How does a person forgive? How do they allow a person back into their life? They forgive the behavior, the act the person committed. Because the person is still the same. You can hope they change, you can hope they won’t do whatever it was they did again. But you didn’t forgive based on character. You either decided it was good for you to forgive the act or they asked for forgiveness. That doesn’t mean “THEY” changed.

It is the same concept as fear. It is the ACTION..Not the person…….Not the place…It is what was done or is done…..

Reality of Fear:

You arent scared of the dark, you are scared of what is in it.

You arent afraid of heights, you are afraid of falling.

You arent afraid of the people around you, you are afraid of refection or distrustful.

You arent afraid of love, you are afraid of not being loved back.

You arent afraid to let go, you are afraid to admit they are gone.

You arent afraid of getting hurt again, you are afraid of getting hurt again for the same reasons.

It is funny how we can turn things around in our head. For those that have been hurt, it isn’t love they should be scared of ….It is the TYPE of people that hurt you. For those that have are distrustful, learn to set boundaries….then you wont be afraid of those around you For those that don’t know what is in the dark, take a light..don’t put yourself in places or positions where you know you are going to be uncomfortable.

For those afraid of not being loved back, dont give your all to someone who treats you as a option. Never love someone more than yourself. So instead of generalizing your fears, narrow them down alittle. Then you can tackle them head on a little at a time…step by step…..

You see you set boundaries….You can love…You just insure you are also being respected. You insure it is 100%/100%…… Reality of fear is everything is not what it seems at first…. Baby steps…….narrow it down and take small steps……and you will find facing your fears isn’t that hard after all.

If you think you are afraid of water is that true or is a fear of drowning? Don’t BLAME the water…It is YOUR fear of drowning…

There are many factors involved in BLAMING, finding reasons, fault or any excuse to validate feelings……Always look at the facts…THINK not feel about the situation and you will react differently. Because if you were truly afraid of water…you wouldn’t bathe…

So always look at your “FEAR” and see what it is you are really afraid of.

Makes it alittle easier to deal with… SO look at your fear and place the blame where it belongs…..The action, the behavior…Then you can do something about it

One step at a time ♥

That was me too. I was born with the last name Grimes. In elementary no matter how smart I was, there was always those that loved to scream out Greasy, Grimy Dirt every time they saw me.

Yes it was hurtful, but I never let it show. Heck I already had enough to deal with at home so nothing they gave me was more than I could handle. Just taught me to hold in my anger. Taught me to have displaced anger.

So I was a fighter. I always seemed to want to fight. Then I had the other side that was sweet, loveable and playful. I was hurting and no one saw it.

So as I go older, it didn’t matter what anyone said about me. It didn’t define who I was or who I was going to be. I also realized the ones that talked where also jealous and just plain mean spirited kids. 

Now I laugh at anyone who tries to judge me. I am entitled to my opinion, beliefs and values.

I love my friends not based on color, money they make or things they have. I love them for their character. Their values and how they treat others and me.

You see I have noticed that those they gossip, judge, condemn, lie and cheat are insecure people. They HAVE to hurt, mistreatment, judge, gossip and all that stuff to feel good about themselves.

All that stuff they say about you, is so the focus is off them. No one will see the insecurity, deceit and envy if they can make them look at you.

So never ever let that one person ruin your day. That is their stuff. Their problem. Their issue. It isn’t about you at all.

Keep strutting your stuff and moving forward. Don’t allow people that are trying to hold you back to go on your journey. 

You will be thankful for the ones in your life that made it great and more grateful for the ones that left and made it fantastic.

You don’t have to keep an enemy closer…THAT IS INSANE! Set boundaries..limitations…rules….

You don’t have to keep someone in your world that doesn’t have your back when you aren’t looking…

Because that is really when it counts…….

In order to prevent or stop the abuse, you need to first understand how these people think and what do they get out of it. During the past few years as a moderator on one of the open forums, I had a chance to observe and interact with such people. Sometimes even entire groups of them and win. So, I will share with you here some of the things I have learned in the process.

One of the first things I noticed about online bullies is that they always attack the self esteem of others, their value as human beings and their reputation because it is precious to most of us. They do it to get the reaction. They want to see you hurt and acting out of control, so that they might feel more in control.

Most of them have very low self esteem and putting you down makes them feel better about themselves. They might often be also motivated by some kind of ideology and attack you if you do not agree with them. For example, they might be atheists who attack Christians to see them acting out of character, in order to prove to themselves and others that “all Christians are brainwashed, stupid hypocrites.” Sometimes they are racists or are politically motivated seeking to discredit those they consider their ideological enemies whatever the cost.

There are also those who might be psychopaths who get pleasure out of seeing others suffer and do not have any empathy for anyone. Trying to befriend them or becoming like them does not work. They will be observing you to look for your weak spots. If you are conscious about your looks and show strong reaction to attacks on your personal appearance, they will hit you in this area hard and often. So, the most important thing is to avoid showing your weaknesses or sharing too much information about your personal life and whereabouts online because these people will exploit it.

Do not believe what bullies tell about you and do not take it to heart. Remember that they bully out of their own weakness whether it is emotional, psychological, or ideological. Strong, healthy, happy, and intelligent people do not have the need to bully others. Show them that they cannot hurt you. Laugh off their attacks or simply ignore them. It is they who look stupid when acting aggressive for no apparent reason, so do not give them one. Do not believe their threats, but if they are serious enough alert the authorities.

Band together with and support those who stand up to bullies by not allowing themselves to be pulled into their traps. Together you are stronger and have a chance to make a change to broader Internet culture. We all want it to be a space that allows us all to freely and respectfully learn, make friends, and share ideas without being harassed. In order to defeat online bullies, spammers, trolls, and other vagabonds of the Internet, we must set a higher standard of behaviour ourselves. If your blog is being spammed, delete the messages and report it. If the bully is on your friends list on social networking site, then remove him/her and block any messages from them. You don’t really need to have hundreds of friends on your list. It is real friendships that matter and most of us have only few true friends in our lifetime.

If you are a person under age and being bullied, do not suffer in silence. Let your parents and teachers know, so the bullies might be disciplined for what they are doing. Be confident in who you are. Remember that you are a unique and valuable person and do not have to bow down to pressure from those who do not really care about you. You are never alone. 

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