Homosexuality was a taboo subject not so long ago in the past. Media, films, television or public forums never used to discuss it. It used to seem that all India was heterosexual. Even when it was discussed, people used to refer to it as a kind of aberration or a disease. Homosexuals were, and still are, treated as aberrations. This is a result of a closed society that chooses to brush some sexual topics under the carpet instead of discussing them. Of a society that dismisses sex education in schools in just two or three lines in biology text books.

But things are changing. Celebrities are coming out in the open about their sexual preferences. Film maker Onir recently said in an interview “if you don’t hide you are heterosexual, why should I hide if I am homosexual?” Gay groups have come up across the country to fight discrimination, ridicule and harassment. Actress Celina Jaitley lends support to such groups. The highest court in the country has legalized gay marriages.

Films are being made exclusively on this subject. Prime time television shows, made for family audiences, are including homosexual characters in their stories. Public debate is taking place. A boy dressed and walking like a girl down a busy street still draws derisive looks, but the snide remarks have subsided. The society is coming to terms with the fact that if there are heterosexuals, there will be homosexuals.

But families are still known to have their homosexual son marry in order to maintain their false status in society. What they do not realize is that they are putting both the boy and the girl through the worst kind of trauma. After the marriage, there will be expectation for progeny from relatives and friends. This is the sub plot of a television show currently on air. Changing social mores have to be accepted. The composition of the Indian population, in which more than 50% are below 40, is going to help in this. These people do not carry with them the baggage of old, restricted views about society and traditions and are more likely to adapt to change.

Bless a Thing & It Will Bless You!

“Bless a thing and it will bless you. Curse it and it wil curse you…If you bless a situation, it has no power to hurt you, and even if it is troublesome for a time, it will gradually fade out, if you sincerely bless it.” Emmet Fox

As ironic as it seems, this is a beneficial and integral step in dealing with life’s day-to-day problems.  Sarah Ban Breathnach says in one of her wonderful books,“Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort & Joy“, that by doing this simple act, we surrender ourselves as well as our problems to a Higher Power to be solved. It is as if saying, “Let Thy will be done.”  

In blessing a situation, any situation in fact, you enable yourself to “accept” your life and all that’s in it for what it truly is.  When I say “accept”, I most certainly do not mean to condone negativity or brutality in ANY form. “Acceptance” in the sense that you have faith that a Higher Power or your Heavenly Father will work it out; that all the wrinkles of your crumbled piece of paper called your life will be ironed smooth.  Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

You may ask belligerently, “How in the world can I bless THAT?”, but not notice the paradox.  By blessing a circumstance, you then rid yourself of the anxieties, frustrations and other detrimental emotions that it envokes.  Not only that, but in doing this, you also take the intense pressure off of the person or situation at hand and are able to view things finally from “outside of the box”.  

Oftentimes we cannot see clearly of a dilemna until we can bless it and let it go.  Take the time to think of all that you wish to be different or better in your life and bless all that you now have. Let it go and have faith that all will be worked out. Everything in it’s own time.

   How can we as a society improve ourselves? There are many answers to this question. There is acceptance, understanding, respect, and courage. These are just places where in we can begin to reshape society into something better than it currently is. Society, even with the polluted governments that we had before, was much better and much different than it is now. However, history as always, eludes the truth of the way things were.

   Modern society likes to believe that in the past we were very barbaric, that we had no sense of oneness and such that we have now. This however is not the case. Look at the Native Americans just a few hundred years ago. These people lived together, albeit they considered themselves tribes but that was mainly because they were wanderers. Those that believe the same thing and thought the same way were the ones who lived together. This made it easier for them to get along. They believed themselves one with the land they lived on. Taking only what they needed and giving everything back to the land. When they killed something they used every part of it that they could. It seems to me that we today are more barbaric than they were. We destroy the land around of us for pleasure. We use only parts of things and leave the rest to rot. We take from the land and each other and give nothing back, and generally we live around more people that we hate than we like. Is this better? Not by any means is it better, however we have been taught to think that it is, and so we act accordingly.

   The first thing society would have to do in order to improved would be learning acceptance. There must be acceptance of what we have become, where we are headed, the mistakes that we have made and will make, and most importantly acceptance of each other. Without realizing it society has become the very savages and barbarians that they want to say others have been or are. Society is made up of many diverse people, from different backgrounds, with different heritages, and most of all different ways of thinking. We call ourselves educated, yet we continually destroy the very planet on which we live. We develop weapons to make killing more efficient instead of making it something that takes time to learn and skill to be able to do. How much more barbaric and savage can we really get than that? We fight wars over grievances, resources, and just because we want to. In the past when wars were fought there was good reason for them. We stood up against oppression, we stood up for our beliefs, we stood up to be able to say our homes are ours and no one elses. Todays wars are more barbaric by comparison just in the reasons we use to start them in the first place. We cut down trees without replacing them, we wipe out entire species of animals because we are scared of them and refuse to try and learn about them, we do so much to take life and such away from our planet, including digging deep into the planet just to take stuff out of it for no better reason than it might make use more comfortable. We have to accept that all the things we hate, we have become or we are leading ourselves into. We are the barbarians, the savages, and whatever else you want call it. We are headed down a road that will cause everyone to start fighting each other because we cannot accept that we are a direct reflection of the planet on which we live. For hundreds of years we have been taught that our purpose on this planet is to dominate it, to rule it. Over all societies health is failing, people spend more time seeing doctors then not. We are always looking for the latest medical treatments and we have all sorts of diseases popping up for which we have no cure, only ways of prolonging the agony. Yet we wonder why this is. We have no acceptance of those of a different faith than us, or as is a more popular issue, homosexuals. Some might wonder why I bring that up, and it’s actually two fold. One is that homosexuals are what keeps the population from growing so out of proportion that the planet can no longer support it. The government and NASA have realized that the planet itself can only support so many more people before we become over crowded. That’s the reason the have been looking for other suitable planets that have supported or can support life. If we don’t find it, we will kill ourselves with over population. The second reason is that you see such things in nature all the time. It’s always been like that in nature and still is, so what is the real reason behind it being a problem, besides the fact there won’t be more people to make money off of, as if we don’t have enough of them already? We are the animals on the entire planet that have a problem with homosexuals. As a society we have killed them and done everything possible to try and stop it, and yet it still exists. Why is that unless it’s suppose to? We have to learn acceptance of all things in order for our society to even begin to make the step into being better than we are, and better than what we have ever been.

   The next thing we would have to do in order to create a better society is gain Understanding. The more we take the time to understand ourselves, the things going on around us, and each other the better off we will be. Understanding ourselves and our motivations for doing things can help us in making the better decision. For instance, knowing if we are doing something for ourselves or for other reasons can sometimes prevent us from making some of the mistakes that we commonly make. The same with understanding what’s going on around us. If we take the time to understand what’s around us and why, we can make better decisions about what to do to help change the long effects of what’s to happen. If you understood that no matter what you did, if you climbed into a car you would get into accident, would you still climb into the car? The same principal applies to everything. In the same way understanding the people your around can help you. If you knew that the person you just met and have been hanging out with could easily be someone who wants to steal your identity or any number of things. Understanding them could help you to better prevent things like this from happening. Just as understanding why your friend is sad could assist you in make them happier, or understanding why your child is mad could help you get them calm again. Until you have that understanding though, there’s no telling what could happen.

   This is the biggest one of them all. RESPECT. We all want to be respected, but how much respect do we actually give others? Do we bother trying to give the person behind the counter at the grocery store a little Respect? Or do we just ignore them? Respect for ourselves and others is something we tend to majorly ignore. We like to think that we have respect for ourselves, and we tend to think that we give respect to others, but how much do we actually give? Society as a whole needs to have more respect for one another. A little respect would keep a bully from being a bully. However we don’t have respect enough for ourselves, others, or our children to prevent things like bullying from happening. I know this subject tends to be one that has been popular in the media, at least where I live, lately with all the kids committing suicide because of being bullied. I was bullied personally when I was in school and I turned those same bullies into friends. I like to think I was able to help some of them. All I did was show them a little respect and friendship and it changed the way they treated myself and other people. Just a little RESPECT can go a very long way. Perhaps we should start examining our actions and try to be sure to show respect to others and the things they do, instead of snubbing them like most of us tend to do.

   Finally society needs courage. The same courage all of our forefathers had in seeking a change in the way the ruling class treated us. This is not the courage to jump of a canyon just because we think we can do it. This is the courage to stand up for what we believe is just and right. The courage to hold your ground regardless of what people may think of you. The courage to just be yourself. No person should fear being themselves. You parents have a problem with you? That’s their problem, not yours. Your boss doesn’t like you being outspoken? That’s his problem, not yours. I’m not saying that you should go crazy, but how many of you actually take action when you think something is wrong? Society could be a lot different if people just had the courage to stand up and do the right thing. I just probably have underlined courage, because you have to have courage to go through this article and apply the things needed in order to make a difference.

   Regardless of whether or not you like this article in it’s entirety, I hope it gives you something to think and hopefully something to work towards as well. Society as a whole needs a change, but the change always starts with one person. Each person has to become the change they want to see and to be able to pass it on to others.

A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men;

and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions

run as causes, and they come back to us as effects.

: o ) Herman Melville

Everything we do has an effect on our life.  The decisions we put off, or act upon make us who we are now and whom we may and will become.  I say the word may before the word will due to the fact that we need to continue our chosen path. Act upon our decisions or we may become something else that was not intended.

When we have a clear focus on the world outside of our immediate self.  We will then possibly be able to add some sympathy and tolerance into our fiber.

We are made up of thousands of strands of DNA, that make us who we are in a very individualistic way.  No two of us are exactly the same.  Another miracle from our creator.

But within that individualism is a common thread, that if we focus on weaving in love, hope, compassion, sympathy, acceptance, tolerance we will indeed blend a different fabric for generations to come.  Can we do that?  More importantly will we do that?

One person at a time we can.

One person at a time we should.

One person at a time, will you be that one?

Smiles to you today and everyday : )

Video of the Day

Quotes to think on ourselves and for others

Bible Quote of the Day

“Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”

Colossians 3:12 (NLT)

Have a blessed day everyone

Make ME Smile Online

copy protected 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012

www.makemesmileonline.com

“He gossips habitually; he lacks the common wisdom to

keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue”

: o ) Mark Twain

Think before you speak; how often have you heard this gem growing up? Plenty of times I am sure.

Yet time and time again we insert a word or conversation that we regret or at the very least causes more harm than good.

Everything we do and say should have powers to help or heal or at the very least do no harm.

When we reach out with our words we don’t know how much hurt they can cause, until its to late.

Words of course can also heal, help and uplift.  The power of the spoken word has positive and not so positive aspects.

So the next time you want to speak and perhaps blurt something out ask your self these questions:

What harm could these words cause another?

Does this statement share gossip or does it share good news?

Will I in any way regret the words I am about to say?

If you can take the time to practice these 3 questions then maybe you can make the time to not cause harm or discomfort.

Just saying and as always sharing and caring and sending you a smile for today : )

Video of the day

Words can Really Hurt

Scripture of the day 

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. – Proverbs 12:18 (NIV)

Have a blessed day everyone

Make ME Smile Online

copy protected 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012

www.makemesmileonline.com

1. Understand what happened.

The crucial first step. If one does not understand how events spiraled out into they way they were, how can they ever expect to know how to avoid history from repeating itself? Understand what happened, why it happened, how it happened. Evaluate anyone else and yourself in the issue clinically and objectingly. Your feelings may keep you from truthfully admitting to yourself what happened–but if you can come overcome this obstacle, you will become a stronger person with a clearer, more honest sense of self. Don’t be the person who deludes themselves to serenity but wonderingly keeps finding themselves wound up in misery. 
2. Talk to someone not involved.
People involved in a conflict have already developed their own opinion on the issue–making it hard for you to fully express yourself in fear of repudiation. Talking to someone unbiased allows you to fully gather your thoughts aloud without this fear. Though they might not get all the sides, they can give you advice for your side. From there, it is up to you to interpret their guidance and apply it to everything you know about what happened. Sometimes, all someone needs is a friend to let them vent out too– you will find a lot of anger and frustration released just by talking and discussing.
3. Ignore your hatred.
Nothing is more temperamental and short lived than hate and disgust. When people hate someone, they tend to naturally avoid them. Reasonable human beings understand that most conflict is best be avoided. If you are a type of person who is aggressively violent and catalatic, you probably find yourself in many dangerous situations much due to your offensive tactics–and you need to grow up. Do you see most adults arm wrestling and hitting each other over the heads with chairs because they are angry at each other? No. And if this happens, obviously, there is serious consequences. When something makes you angry, your always the angriest the moment it happens, descending. Life has no time for grudges. Hatred is an honest, natural emotion–but it is a barrier that blocks everyones path with foolish decisions to getting on with their lives.
4. Tie up loose ends.
In lost causes, most things are said and done. But, if for example, you attend the same school or work at the same place, meetings and accidental bump-ins result in awkward and very uncomfortable circumstances. Work something out with these people–things left unsaid are things said everytime you look into each other’s eyes.

5. Plan for the future.

Things are done. The feelings, the thoughts, and the emotional value is still there, however. When big break ups and fall-outs occur, your heart and mind are often on overdrive of the predicament. One way to stop mulling on the past is to start planning for the future. Look up. Look at all the things you can do in your life, all the people you can now spend time with now that there is nothing left for you to give to them. Becoming lost in the past makes the roads unclear for the future, and sadly it happens to many of us.

6. Be alone for a while.

Solitude is often one of the best tools for self discovery. Be alone for a while. Read a book. Go on a walk. Play some video games. Just enjoy and observe life. Explore your hobbies and interests. In abusive and detrimental relationships, people often find they have lost their sense of self during it, because of the influences the other person administered. There is no shame in what you like and what you do in your free time as long as it’s not hurting others. Don’t let anyone tell you what you can and can not do with yourself.

7. Live your life.

After many years, feelings of anger and hurt dissipate. You’ve moved on with your life, they’ve moved on with theirs. Nostalgically, you might find yourself comparing and contrasting the way things were compared to now. We learn to forget the things people say and do to us, but we never can learn how to forget how they made us feel. Wounds heal. Time is short and it goes by fast. By living your life, you continue to seperate these events day by day until you don’t even think about it anymore. Living your life, as happily and truly as you can, is the ultimate step to letting go.

One has to accept pain as a condition of existence.

One has to court doubt and darkness as the cost of knowing.

One needs a will stubborn in conflict, but apt always to the

total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying.

: o ) Morris West

Life is simple, it really is once you understand the dynamics of the choices we make.  The truth is we have trouble making choices that fit into that simplicity.

We think that there is a better way, we alter the path of success that others have gone before because we want to do it ‘Our Way’.  Not the way of ancient tales, or even of our parents who are not so ancient.  We want to blaze our own trail but yet complain about the results that we produce and have trouble accepting the consequences of doing it ‘Our Way’.

It is too laugh sometimes. LOL.

But in fact we learn to readjust and ponder over the decisions made, reflect, adjust, pray and meditate and correct our misfortunes.  We also need to take the time to speak the gratitude that we still have that opportunity to adjust and that the pain of misfortune is not permanent.

So yes the choice is always ours.

We can make the difference even in our own lives with a smile, some laughter even if the laughter is at ourselves.

That truly may be the best laughter.

Smiles to you this day : )

Video of the day

Spiritual Law of Acceptance?

Scripture of the Day 

“If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.” (NIV)

Genesis 4 : 7

Have a blessed day everyone

Make ME Smile Online

copy protected 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012

www.makemesmileonline.com

We care ~ We share ~ We entertain ~ We educate about the simple sincere power of the smile.  Enjoy : )

Why do people cry once they say and when they hear the word “goodbye” in a relationship? When someone walk out the door leaving the word “goodbye” made the world stopped for a while. Made us numb, made us cry, made us speechless and then screamed out why. Friends say, let go and move on, he is not worth crying for. Maybe someone better is soon to arrive so, someone must say goodbye.

What a nice consolation, what a good bargain for a broken heart. But, what if that someone who bid goodbye took my heart when he walks out the door. What if, that person imprisoned my heart in his soul and he doesn’t know about it. Did anyone know the way to find him so I can take my heart back to me before the new one comes along? One more question, how will I ever know if the new one is the right one? What is the assurance that this new one will never leave me too?

Someone must say goodbye to give way for the right one to come. I wish this time it is for real before my heart get tired of waiting. I hope the new one is the perfect love that they say “will come once in a lifetime”. Someone to make me understand that love never dies but only needs one caring hand to keep it alive. Who, will make me feel my importance that I am worth loving for the rest of his life.

Still along my journey, I have made my fair share of mistakes; my path is littered with disappointments and frustrating failures.  There are so many personal accomplishments I have not yet been able to attain.  Through my yoga practice, I have learned the importance of “acceptance of what is” and to “let go.”  Learning this is easy but practicing this is a whole other matter; something I must work on every day of my life.

I have to consistently remember the words of Buddha who said, “The secret to health and happiness is to not dwell on the past that we cannot change, nor to worry about the future which does not yet exist, but instead to live each moment earnestly and wisely, being present.”

I share this with you because with the New Year comes new promises and goals; our dreaded New Year’s Resolutions that traditionally have an 80% failure rate.  I have witnessed many dear friends that are so unhappy with their current physical state, relationships, and jobs that they keep themselves from being happy in the present moment, the only moment there is!

The road to a “higher state of consciousness” is a journey.  We must always remember that we are exactly where we are supposed to be along the path of life at this moment in time.  This year try not to set lofty unattainable goals; they will only leave you feeling defeated if you are unable to achieve them.  Instead stand first where you are along your path, accept and love yourself for who you are right now.  Instead of setting your next goal to make it 10 miles down the road before nightfall, make your goal to take only the next step.  Make each step count, being conscious and present. 

For example instead of making it your goal to lose 15 pounds by March, look in the mirror and first accept and love who you are today.  Know that you are exactly where you are meant to be right now.  Make your goals modest and attainable, perhaps to just not eat any processed food today.  With your goal being small manageable individual steps, you will be down the road in no time and before you know it you will have lost 20 pounds and wondered how it all fell off?     

There are people like myself who work better under pressure. Just because we start as late as possible on a task with a deadline, doesn’t mean we haven’t been getting organised. Our brains mull things over, search for possible solutions and consider the task from all angles. By the time we make a start, usually as close to a deadline as possible, we know what we want to do and how we want to do it. Consequently the task is undertaken in minimum time with maximum results.

I once tried to change this procrastination habit of mine, believing it was a hindrance and preventing me from achieving my fullest potential. No matter how hard I tried, my efforts failed. When I finally accepted I was a procrastinator, life moved forward with the success I desired.

If you are a procrastinator, learn to accept who you are. Procrastination is not necessarily evil. Some of us achieve more when the pressure is on and a deadline is looming. What is important is that you know well ahead that something needs to be done. As long as you know when your deadline is, you are safe to procrastinate. Let your subconscious work on your task until you know you can’t put the task off any longer. If you’re anything like me, you’ll work with more intense concentration to meet the deadline, resulting in everyone being pleased with your effort.

If you are not a procrastinator, stop believing you’re better than the rest of us. We can’t help the way we have been genetically wired. Most of us have tried changing, but with poor results. It’s like asking a left handed person to become a right handed one.

I am proud of who I am. I am proud of being a procrastinator. I challenge anyone who is a non procrastinator to tell me I haven’t been successful in my life. Rather than be judgemental, everyone needs to accept that procrastination is not evil and procrastinators can be extremely successful in both their business and personal lives.

Image by Viktor Hertz via Flickr

If you enjoy writing and have knowledge or experiences you’d like to share, why not click this link to publish here on Triond. You even earn a little cash for your efforts.