There are lots of couples that the man is much younger than the woman and they don’t have a happy ending. This is a fact because we’ve seen this in our society. My cousin has a girlfriend that is much older than him. The woman was his professor in College. At first their relationship is doing fine. The woman spend money for my cousin, buying him gifts and things like that even if my cousin did not ask for it. Some people around them are against their relationship because of the age gap and their status level.

Since my cousin is young, he will sometimes go with other ladies his age and the sweetheart felt insecure and the argument started. The older woman is willing to support whatever my cousin needs as long as he will not go with other ladies. Well, my cousin also become demanding to his sweetheart but 3 years after, they broke up leaving the woman so devastated. She spent a lot of her money for my cousin but he ended up with someone else his age.

Another person with similar situation, a man married a woman his mother’s age. They have 1 child but years later, the man found another woman similar his age and he enjoyed with her company because they have similar interests. Their maturity levels are the same and they can agree in almost everything they do.

The problem with large age gap is that, their maturity level is way far away. This is always the cause of misunderstanding specially if the lady is older than the man. The younger man would usually look for a younger woman like his age because they can relate with almost everything. This is why I would think, it is risky for an older woman to marry a much younger man. 5-6 years gap maybe  good but when it is more than 20 years gap? that is too much of a risk. But as I said, we have no right to judge them, it is just something to think about if we are in the situation.

           Romantic relationships are the most prominent type of connection most people are engaged with. It is the strongest form of intimacy that many get crazy about.

However, to be in a relationship is not easy. Even if both of you are of the same age, conflicts arise that may lead to break-ups. How much more if the distance between your birth years is immensely far? How will you cope with the so-called “May- December” love affair?

            Here are the tips to strengthen the romantic relationship of lovers with long age gaps:

1.    Forget the chronological age.

Remove from your minds both of your years of birth. Eradicate the idea that one of you is older and the other is younger. Instead, imbibe the thought that you are best friends and a couple of same or nearly the same age.

2.    Do activities in which both of you enjoy.

Know your hobbies and interests. Once you already learn your common denominators with your partner, try doing these activities frequently like jogging, playing tennis, and watching movies. Aside from turning these activities worthwhile, deeper bonding is as well established between the two of you which further strengthens your relationship.

3.    Open yourselves up.

Talk with your partner more often. In addition, share your ideas and give your opinions on various topics. This promotes better understanding as well as respect on the views and principles of both parties.

4.    Be sensitive.

Understand the needs of your partner especially on the aspect of his or her physical well-being. Adjust to these necessities and assure your lover of your continuing presence and care for his or her vitality.

5.    Laugh together.

Tell jokes on each other. Laugh at your partner’s comedic lines and small mistakes, not to the point of offending the other person. Moreover, release the childlike character that hides inside the both of you. Doing such makes your relationship interesting and alive.

              Enjoy being in love. Despite the diversity of your personalities and traits, complement each other with love and care.

     First I will explain the physicality of an “age-gap” relationship and aspects to consider when deciding if it is right or wrong and if it truly is “right or wrong”. Then, just why people decide what they feel about these age gap relationships.. Secondly and Lastly, I will explain the mentality in these relationships considering maturity levels and overall if the two together are on the same “level”. I will not consider what people think about with the maturity levels… since honestly, people don’t.

     When humans think of “physical” and “relationships” normally what comes to mind (unless by luck we have a pure soul reading this) is sexual intercourse. Now when thinking of sexual intercourse or sex and the “age-gap” relationship normally what also comes to mind is some forty to fifty year old man and someone of a much younger scale to the point that extreme shivering is a result. Please don’t deny this, No one automatically thinks of a fifteen and a twenty year old and that is a fact unless that is the main focus when speaking of said “age gap” relationship.

     Obviously, from image one(the old man and much younger girl) it can immediately be noticed some anatomy that may cause the shiver in your bones. First off an older man even in his thirties and twenties can have problems in there anatomy that may cause complications like the fully matured genitalia to the not so fully matured genitalia. To put this as polite as possible, “Things may not fit.” This is the part that gets a normal human squirming in there seat in disgust thinking how “morally” wrong the idea is.

     Another thing people think of when they hear “physical” and “relationship” is looks. Sorry for all of you who don’t want to admit this, but it’s true. The minute someone mentions dating in any sense the first thing either gender asks is, “Is he/she hot?” Sadly, this also has a role in the “age-gap” relationship. If a man or woman is on the level of acceptable or beyond looks, then they tend to get a slide from critic when it comes to dating younger people. Have a fit all you want, but when someone looks better then they should; that very image that damages the mind or pushes “age-gap” love to “immoral” is shut out and put in a completely different more, to be polite… pleasant spot.

     One example of this is the relationship between Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. These two famous celebrities are married and the age-gap is about thirteen years. Demi being around forty and Ashton being around twenty-seven. Yet for some reason, the American people when hearing such a thing are not disgusted. Why? Well because, most every one in this western culture knows who Demi is… and that she is gorgeous. Without a doubt no one would question beauty, no matter the age. So, she just gets a congratulations and the nickname “cougar” as she stays with her young male counterpart. See, if Demi wasn’t on such a high beauty scale, this would be a catastrophe. People would complain all around. It would be in every newspaper and in not the most positive light… Get it?

     Now that I’ve covered the physical aspect, let us move on to the mental part. What is it that mentally hooks us or disengages us to and age-gap relationship? Well, to start, maturity is important. If someone is mature yet very young for their age, people who are older may notice that and find age is not a barrier in their relationship. Or, if someone is very immature yet older, they will tend to lean towards someone just as immature as them. Who won’t make fun of or ridicule their train of thought. As long as these relationships are in this balanced setting, the age-gap can work, but if it is not. The consequences can scar, from a broken heart to a broken innocence, maturity “equality” is important.

    Another thing that needs to be considered with “age-gap” relationships is if the two together are on the same level. For example, if one of them is thinking of just average dating, is the other too? Or is this “other” thinking of something more deep? Like commitment. Or are they thinking of something more shallow? Like a simple one night stand. If the two are on completely different levels then this could and will create turmoil between them, age difference just makes the turmoil a little stronger and more likely… Another example of being on the same level is through experiences. If the older one has done many sexual acts and the younger one doesn’t even know the name of such acts… then they probably aren’t on the same level, or safe level. So level is important to the maximum.

     So basically, what’s important is the physical anatomy, degree of beauty, level of maturity, and overall level on the relationship. Age honestly has absolutely nothing to do with it. All age does is slightly affect these important items in a more negative way, but if you can get through all that… then have fun! Do the “age-gap” relationship!

A. I don’t see anything too wrong with a 10 year gap. It depends on the feelings between the people and how mature both are in dealing with it. There are only two things wrong with dating someone of more than 5 years older.

First, that person would have enjoyed their youth already, been there and done that, so they are likely not to be interested in the kind of things (like partying and playing etc) which a younger person might wish to indulge in. The 30 year old would be more mature and experienced, would have probably had a job for a few years, and would want someone who matches them in that respect, while the 20 year old is just starting out on their exciting journey and would need the time to get that experience and maturity too.

Second, we all go through set stages of evolution in our lives (seven in all) which mould our perspectives and affect how we see the world. A 30 year old might wish to settle down because he/she is in Stage 2 of their adult development (the period of Responsibility and Choice) whereas the 20 year old is in Stage 1 (the Age of Self-Discovery and Experiment). It means one person will be keen to settle down, to make life choices and begin the process of taking responsibility for themself in a mature way, while the other person will be busy discovering their world and finding out about themself first. Two different ways of seeing life, especially if they find it hard to compromise. In time, those two opposing  perspectives are likely to create a lot of impatience and misunderstanding between the couple which then makes a longer term partnership less likely.

That is the main reason why relationships with huge age gaps are very tricky. If the people involved do not grow together or come to share the same perspectives, it cannot survive. Personal tastes, particularly in music and fashion and knowledge would also be very different because 10 years is almost like a generation when it comes to our lifestyles. That would lessen the things the couple can relate to between them which eventually means having different sets of friends to connect with who can validate and affirm each party.

Such an age gap can work, but it really depends on the parties and the degree of love and appreciation between them. But it is not a good prognosis at the beginning.  Perhaps when the younger person reaches 26 it might be a good time to consider such a match, because they will also be in Stage 2.

Most people would never look twice at someone more than five years older or younger than themselves, while others are actually drawn to such relationships. For many, it depends. How much older and which one is older, the man or the woman? Having been married to a man sixteen years my senior and then to a man sixteen years my junior, I’ve experienced both sides of the issue.

I must say that I’ve had a more difficult time being the older woman. This is partly due to the fact that I’ve reached middle age and gravity has not been kind. For that, I’m thankful that love is blind. But, in our society it is more acceptable for an older man to marry a younger woman than the other way around. I sense people thinking “cradle robber” and though I try not to let it, it does affect me ever so slightly sometimes. Fortunately, my husband and I aren’t big into socializing, so we rarely attend gatherings of a single generation where one partner would stick out like a sore thumb.

One consideration is the inter-relationships amongst other family members. They are likely to be a bit awkward, but can be wonderful. For instance, the older partner and the corresponding in-laws will be closer in age than in a traditional arrangement. Likewise, children from a previous marriage might be nearly the same age as the younger partner. Those relationships may be less strained than normal since there is more common ground. On the other hand, the traditional role of sage in-law lovingly showering the new family member with advice may be shattered and the concept of step-parenthood may be ludicrous, especially if a step-child is older than the step-parent!

Shared memories may be interesting. In a relationship where ages vary considerably, mutual memories of significant historical events are limited to those of the younger person. The older person will remember things that happened before the younger one was even born. Enjoy the differences. You will learn a lot about another generation and may be surprised by how different life was for your partner than for you. Just for fun, team up in trivia games and use your combined broad knowledge base to blow away the competition!

A benefit that might go overlooked is the stability of the older partner and the shortened learning curve for the younger person. Many people leave home lacking the skills and resources necessary for independent living. Having one person in the relationship with plenty of experience can be a big boost for the other one.

Keep in mind that most age-related differences are no more problematic than those between generations within any family. Music tastes, slang, friends, and clothes styles may differ, but disparities in tastes exist even within a single generation. Cultural differences between two people may well be a greater obstacle than an age gap.

As the years go by, an age spread will have less and less impact. The contrast between a twenty year old and a thirty-five year old may seem significant, but when that same couple reaches fifty and sixty-five the difference hardly matters.

In the end, your fortitude and the strength of your love will be the determining factors on how well you can handle the stares and whispers that will come with a relationship involving large differences in age. If you can disregard what other people think and truly love each other despite your age difference, you stand a good chance of making it work.

1. Motives

   It is important to look at the motivating factors that draw a couple to one another in the first place. An older man may be attracted to a younger woman because of her youth, vitality and energy. A woman may be looking at the man’s maturity and how he is more settled in his life. But these factors alone cannot ensure a successful marriage in the long run. Some couples look at superficial qualities and claim that their young wife makes them also feel “young again”. But what about when she is 20 years older? Will the husband still feel this way? Boosting someone else’s ego should not be the foundation of a relationship. It will not last.

2. Goals

   Some couples who are in an age gap relationship claim that they have the same goals, but do they really? It is easy to make false claims at the start of a relationship in order to entice another person, and sadly this can lead to much heartache later on. If you are seriously contemplating making a serious commitment, such as marriage, then you will do well to be totally honest with yourself and your partner. If you do not openly express what you expect from the relationship, then it can turn sour later on.

3. Emotional baggage

   A younger woman who is married to an older man will probably be his second or perhaps even his third wife. This will probably be her first marriage and so she may not have as much history as her husband does. With this comes emotional baggage. Exes may still have a claim on your husband, especially if he is paying her alimony or child support. Some exes are not concerned about their ex-husband’s new wife; others are jealous and controlling. This is something to bear in mind if you decide to enter into an age gap relationship.

4. Children

   It is important to discuss the issue of children early on in your relationship rather than leave it to chance later on. An older woman may already have grown up children, whereas her younger husband has not had any and wishes to start a family. Or a younger woman may want children but her husband is infertile. Before any of these situations come up later on in marriage, it is important to actually talk openly and honestly early on. Once you know your partner’s view on the issue of children, you can then proceed accordingly.

   For example, if you are a young woman who desperately wants children, but your partner does not want any, why would you agree to marry a man who does not share your view? You will only end up feeling trapped and resentful in your marriage, however much you may believe that “love will conquer all”. But if you clear the air early on, you can decide whether you can deal with never becoming a mother or if you should look elsewhere for a husband. It will not be easy, but at least you will know where you stand.

5. Jealousy

   Jealousy can do untold damage to any relationship and doom it to failure. The same is true for age gap relationships. Some couples in such relationships are not successful because at least one of the two partners harboured feelings of jealousy. Common concerns that people complain about is being abandoned for a younger or older partner. If the relationship is to succeed, couples need to overcome these feelings and accept that they have been chosen as a life partner, not anyone else.

6. What do you have in common?

   As with any relationship, do you have things in common with your significant other? It does not matter if you are identical in age and are from the same town, you may still be incompatible. So choose wisely. Get to know your partner well before you decide to get married. You do not have to agree on every issue. After all, you are not a couple of clones of one another. But you should have things in common that will help to bind you to one another. Examples of this would include the same faith, standards and morals.

In conclusion, age gap relationships can and do work. The issue is not necessarily the ages of the couple, but how they are willing to deal with important issues such as their motives for being together, their goals in life and how they feel about having or not having children. As long as their relationship is based on a solid foundation, rather than a fleeting fancy, they will be successful in their marriage.