Headline news: Alien beings have landed and claim they are not going to blow us all up.

Okay, so alien beings have landed on earth. After all the fear and hype surrounding their arrival, you suddenly have the chance to interview these visitors from another world.

Now think about this for a moment. Most of the questions asked would be no doubt broadcast over the television and radio stations. Such questions would be “How long did it take you to travel?” and “Have you guys found the cure for cancer?”. 

Of course there would be many other scientific based questions and health related queries we would all be eager to get answers to. 

But think outside the box. Ask yourself what other questions you may pose for our friendly (we hope) and cute looking aliens. 

Here are some “bizarre” and fun questions we could ask if we had the chance:

1. Have you guys ever contracted a sexually transmitted disease?

2. Is anal sex allowed on your world?

3. Do your females prefer a big one or are they all liars like the women here on earth?

4. Do you all listen to Justin Beiber?

5. Do you guys have traffic lights at each interstellar worm hole?

6. Have you ever had group sex and if so has any of you male aliens mistook another male alien for a female? (ouch)!

7. Do you practice safe sex on your world?

8. Have you ever watched Eastenders and then wanted to commit suicide?

9. Who is the sexiest alien on your world?

10. Do condoms exist on your planet?

11. Are your police crooked?

12. If you lot robbed a bank, do you just beam out the money or do you do it the old fashioned earth way and have a guy hanging outside looking guilty as hell in a smoking old hot rod?

13. Do your schools have anti-bullying laws?

14. Would you adopt Pamela Anderson?

15. If so, would you like to probe her? 

16. Oh….and what with? wink wink.

17. Do you have gay aliens?

18. Do your kids get to play with thermo-nuclear anti-matter chemistry kits?

19. Any mishaps with that and if so, how big a disaster did the mischievous 8 year old cause?

20. Do you think Captain Kirk is the best in Star Fleet?

21. Do you lot like Friends? 

22. Is the character “Joey” a real alien?

23. Do you lot make snowmen when it’s snowing?

24. Do the females on your world consider breast implants?

25. Do your “grow your penis bigger pills” really work on your world as here on earth millions of men are duped into thinking they work here.

26. Do you guys practice religion?

27. Would you ever keep a human as a pet?

28. Any of you lot on Face Book as most of the world here seems to think its the best place to be (sad bastards)?

29. Did “JFK” get killed by one of you guys?

30. Is Obama under your control?

31. If I could borrow your probe, will that mean my wife will have multiple orgasms if I use it on her like you gits did when you abducted her?

32. Could you kidnap my wife and leave her on your planet as she is sucking me dry financially?

33. Do elastic bands get on your nerves?

34. Who gets to cook? Or do you do what they do in Star Trek and ask a replicator to serve up an instant dinner?

35. You guys hardly speak. I hear you have telepathic abilities and communicate via thought. So if that’s the case, what dirty fucking thoughts are you thinking now about my fit looking girlfriend just emerging from her room wearing nothing but a smile?

36. Will England’s Queen ever retire?

37. Do you guys do some recreation drugs?

38. Do you alien males ever suffer impotence after 40?

39. If so, how good is your Viagra? I ask because I would really like to try it and see if my wife walks around sore for the next few days after I’ve took it and banged the crap out of her.

40. Do you watch Jerry Springer or Jeremy Kyle?

41. Are those two chat show hosts under your influence?

42. Did your interstellar enemies conspire with Adolf Hitler during earth’s World War 2?

43. Come on, what really happened at Roswell?

44. Is Bob Lazar (the guy who claims he saw alien technology at the notorious Area 51) real?

45. Do you guys buy rounds of drinks on a Friday night out on the space station?

46. Is Triond under alien control as most of us believe Nathan on this site doesn’t answer our questions? So is this part of some sort of conspiracy?

47. Who is the best writer on Triond? Is it Craigz, Jimmy, Ruby Hawk, Nelson Doyle, Ulsterman, ImKarn, Sharif, Love Doc, Kitty, Melanie T, Rosetta-Artist, The Stick man, Dale Walker, Gaby, CA Johnson, Uma Shankari, Linda Lori, Joe Schmidt, Allison Jae, Christine Ramsey and probably a good few dozen who I have not mentioned here (apologies for those not mentioned)?

48. Is the writer Craigz under psychiatric treatment with half the crap he writes?

49. Do you guys masturbate and get turned on by fast rocket ships and faster women?

50. Is the real reason why you aliens have not invaded the earth based purely on watching episodes of Star Trek, Buck Rogers, Thurnderbirds and films such as Star Wars and Independence Day because you are afraid of us and all that firepower we got and thought “fuck that”?

51. Is Yoda and his band of Jedi Knights some form of gay group that go around bragging with big, well lit weapons?

52. That funny looking device you just pulled out of your pocket. Now that you answered my strange questions, are you going to zap me with it so the truth about you dirty little gits doesn’t get published in the morning papers?

What would you ask?

Eisenhower showed up early the next morning and the matter seemed settled.  However, a new rumor began, a rumor that persists to this day.  The story goes that the President had been called away from his schedule to go to Muroc (now Edwards) Air Force Base.  There he saw an alien space craft and met with aliens.  Shortly after his return, he ordered that all reports about flying saucers be cloaked in secrecy. 

Except for UFO fringe writers, interest in the incident died down.  In 1962, now former President Eisenhower did meet with Kenneth Arnold.  Arnold had made the first major flying saucer sighting in 1947 and had coined the term “flying saucer”.  However, interest in the February, 1954, incident would return in 1979.

That year,  it was learned that the wife of the dentist knew nothing of President Eisenhower’s visit.  Furthermore, the Eisenhower Library has no record of any dental work being done during February, 1954.  In 2009, a man called in to the radio show “Coast to Coast”.  He claimed to possess a 16mm black and white film which showed Eisenhower and billionaire Howard Hughes inspecting a crashed flying saucer.  The caller said that what he had seen on the film scared him to death.

UFO enthusiast Michael E. Salla says that Eisenhower’s meeting with the aliens is supported by testimonial and circumstantial evidence.  For example, the Palm Springs vacation for the President was announced suddenly and came less that a week after his quail shooting trip to Georgia.  Salla believes that the Muroc meeting not only happened but was the first of a series of gatherings that led to a treaty being signed with an alien race now called the “Greys”.

As wild as this story sounds, I have to put it into the Probable category, partially because I could not find much skeptical works to refute it.  It is very possible that the Palm Springs vacation was set up at the last minute so Eisenhower could slip away to Muroc.  And I think it is possible that the treaty may have given aliens the right to abduct humans in exchange for technological knowledge.

Public disclosure by the UK government has been very high lately with the information on reported UFO sightings. People are beginning to speak on what they allegedly saw; stating that they saw UFO’s several times throughout the year in the United Kingdom.

An Essex Police officer said that he had seen the “Beast of Essex.” Soon afterwards, one of his colleagues said that they have spotted a UFO in the area. The reported sighting in north Essex is included in a Ministry of Defense report listing all the possible UFO sightings they were made aware of in the past year. According to the reports, the European police officer saw a spacecraft over the seaside community of brightlingsea on New Year’s Eve.

Several journalists and reporters in the area make mockery of the two cops, saying that they are lying about the whole situation. They make jokes about how one of the cops was either bored or intoxicated, looking into the sky, seen an aircraft, and imagined it being an extraterrestrial aircraft. They say the other cop is a punk that seen a baby cat running around, and mistaked it as the “Beast of Essex.” (The beast is supposed to be a large cat that prowls the woods of Essex).