One of the problems that causes many divorces would be “Problems With Finances”.  In a marriage there will be ups and downs and especially with finances. Unsuspected things occur or jobs may be lost. This is a time to become closer in your relationship so that you can give each other support through these trying times. For those considering divorcing because of this issue should keep in mind that even after a divorce there will be a reduction in your income. If there are children to take care of then it will really become a challenge for you financially. Finances should be sorted out before the divorce so that the transition will be a little less devastating.

   If there are children involved there will be parenting issues such as custody and visitation to go through. Along with the many emotions involved there are custody arrangements that need to handled reasonably. This should always be done for the best interest of the children and not done with anger or revenge in mind. One mistake couples make is that they stay together in a n unhappy marriage because they have children and they truly believe that this is for the best interest of the children. That is the biggest mistake a couple can make. By staying together and being unhappy causes more pain and confusion for the children.

   No one imagines divorce when they are getting married but it does happen. Before making such a life changing decision always remember to think things out and calmly talk about them with your mate.  

What if he drives recklessly? How will he make a right turn? Will he reach home safely? There’s no end to the fear which destroys your peace of mind.

As a parent, how should you handle your anxieties when your children start driving?

If you start looking for some good tips on how to handle your anxieties, you won’t find any, because the answers to your query lie within you.

The anxieties are yours; therefore, you need to learn to cope with it. The best way to handle your anxieties is to face it.

The unsurpassed way would be to make your child learn driving properly. Pick a reputed school of driving, where your child could learn the finer points of driving.

Remember, a good driving tutor produces a good driver. You would be assured in your hindsight that your child would become competent enough to drive safely. It would mean less anxiety on your part.

Secondly, accept the fact that your child has learnt driving, and he has gone for a drive.

You can’t keep your child henpecked for ever. He is independent and he needs to learn to be able to make decisions independently in life. That’s what life teaches us.

Image by lipár via Flickr

Once he is on road, you can’t do much about it. So why bother yourself with unnecessary worries.

Believe in your child and keep faith in God. Your child would be safe. Everything is in God’s hand, therefore pray to God for your child’s safety and leave the rest.

If you are still unable to handle your anxieties, then buy a book on yoga and start doing few exercises to ease out your stress.

Yoga is perhaps the best remedy for parental anxieties. Select a yoga posture that would help you to take more control of your mind. There are numerous instances when yoga had cured persons suffering from deep anxieties.

Finally remember, anxieties come with an expiry date. Once you get habituated and watch your child drive regularly, your anxieties would cease away.

Hence, stop worrying and look forward, enjoy the fact that your child is living his dream.

• Faith, Hope, Love for truth, Love for fellowmen, Love for righteousness, Love for God
• Desire for knowledge, understanding, wisdom
• Discipline of body, mind, heart. spirit

Even people who claim they do not have a God will admit that they believe in some things they claim to be right. They too have conscience.

Suppose a person has these in life, he would probably have a great influence in the lives of many other people, unless prevented by circumstances.

Socrates, the great philosopher who had the habit of questioning in order to pursue truth, may have lost his case during his time. But we know he is remembered by countless students from generation to generation. People who convicted him and killed him just because of philosophical argumentation proved themselves inferior to Socrates himself. What can be wrong with questioning for the sake of reasoning in order to arrive at truth ? The leaders of his time turned out to be “killers” of the human right to question, aside from being violators of a God-given Law to love and to give every human being the dignity of being God’s creation. But Socrates took a stand.

We need such characters and not those who resort to violence due to reasons of their own at the expense of lives of other people. Perhaps if Socrates incited people to de-stabilize a government, to rise up in arms, or to disobey authorities, then his character would be clouded with doubts. Did you know that Socrates was poor in his time ? They probably kept him poor out of jealousy or envy since he was receiving the attention of listeners during his time. Socrates had questions of faith in a god. But who was more godless after his enemies killed him? Was it Socrates who did not kill or the intelligent killers ? Could it have been Socrates who was materially poor and could not have helped his enemies understand what he was saying (For he could have invested on occassions to develop good rapport with the religious leaders — if he had the means for the purpose.) or the wealthy leaders who could have supplied Socrates better means to provide for his family, as a sign of friendly gesture to respect his right to express his beliefs and reasons ? Socrates taught us to have faith in the power of reasoning in order to arrive at truth and what is moral or what is immoral. The killers of Socrates tried to kill that same faith in a God-given ability to reason out.

A re-enactment of his case in the present time and in the future will make him the ultimate winning character. Made to decide on who is the real evil, I cannot ever say it might be Socrates. Made to decide who is the greater good, I would have voted for Socrates.

Today, even the Catholic Church upholds Socrates as an idealist, a moral reformer, a believer in the immortality of the soul, and “equal” to Saints. His way of teaching or questioning is still utilized in man’s struggle to understand faith in God. It tries to contend that man is ignorant about the topic. Yet in the process of questioning, as we should encourage people to do likewise, the knowledge of truth clarifies God in relation to Man. That clarification will facilitate man’s genuine conversion from a believer only in thoughts to a believer in practical living.

If you have the character of Socrates in our present time, you would easily find happiness and success with a very inquisitive mind.

Education (the field of study that deals mainly with methods of teaching and learning) and knowledge (the body of truth, information, and principles acquired) are not exactly the same as “character building”. We need both knowledge and education to survive countless experiences. But how we shape ourselves in the process may or may not result in building up a strong character. Oftentimes, the term “good character” is defined by society as merely having no criminal offense. Thus, there is also a need to define “strong character” and to differentiate it from “good character”. One may have good character but actually has weak character that keeps a person frequently downtrodden which is a negative feeling. I know of elders who fail to build up strong character. In fact, many people around the world who grow older tend to forget the importance of also achieving the goal of having a strong character so as to set the example for younger generations, by simply showing it in their lives. Frustrations overcome them. Depressed thoughts make them sick.

If ongoing education takes time, even more time is required for a successful character development. For most people, however, it appears like it takes forever. Failures in this aspect of life are probably by the billions worldwide. Leaders in government, churches, educational institutions, and business enterprises are having tremendous difficulties maintaining strong character at the height of unavoidable criticisms. When some leaders utilize harassment or violation of human rights, it becomes obvious what kind of characters they have built for themselves. When some leaders indulge in fault-finding or witch hunting just to advance their political agenda, they are actually teaching citizens to justify their own wrong acts of fault-finding and nagging of their fellow men.

Try evaluating the newspapers and the corresponding writers or leaders who communicate. Did you ever wonder why most news tend to be bad news ?

Choosing a pattern of life wherein we can be most fruitful is in itself a challenge. Open-mindedness and flexibility can lead a person to a better way of looking at himself / herself as well as other people and the rest of the world. One institution I know emails to me news about death at the rate of almost 50 % of the time. Society honours great men when they are dead or after they die. The good news of the holy bible is stuck with very few lives of good characters thousands of years ago as though there are no similar strong characters in our present time or more recent years. Preachings can bombard people with a lot to blame and make citizens feel so sorry for themselves. So where is the good news ? The usual theme is this: when you die, you can be born again if…

We probably have a scarcity of people with strong characters.

One strong character portrayal I am aware of is Arnold Schwarzenegger, a Mr. Universe in the field of bodybuilding, having won more bodybuilding titles than anyone. As he reached greater roles as Actor and Governor, he reminded admirers about not considering more wealth as a basis for obtaining more happiness. He said he was richer with over $50 million. But he felt happier when he had only $ 48 million. That must have been because other factors lessened that feeling of joy within.

I know of another person who had the chance to earn substantial amounts and was blessed with inherited wealth. After making bad decisions to pour out more cash for more properties, now that person is complaining about cash shortage and blaiming other people for the situation. You probably know about worse examples. Let’s search for good examples. I am sure there are models of our present time. Who ever placed them under the rug to hide strong characters away from the limelight ?

It is never too late to change. Let us focus on the bright side of living here and now.

Job of the Holy Bible realized a worse set of failures. He lost not only properties but also good health and lives of loved ones. Yet he did not commit suicide. Those who read the Scriptures know how he eventually gained much more than the wealth that he lost, after his life was put to the test by the devil.

Wealth is a motivating factor indeed. However, it can also be a hindrance for a rich person to realize other important values that no amount of money can buy. Attractive things shine so bright in the brain. It can look like there is nothing else worth thinking about except money and what money can provide a human being. Pleasure seekers are well aware of this. For men, many would enjoy wine, women, plenty of friends, adventures, being treated like a Prince or King, possession of beautiful items, praises from government, church, and various organizations. So many would be grateful for the big donations and influence in order to facilitate transactions. Fame. Victory in elections. Citations and Honorary Positions. But because of wealth and the enjoyment of all that money can buy, that same wealthy person cannot experience the simple happiness of the masses who are deprived of even basic means to live human lives.

For women, most would enjoy beauty treatments, adventures, new shoes, new shoes, new shoes.A former First Lady was famous for having a thousand new shoes ready to wear. A very recent trend revealed that women would like to have their fats burned in clinics in order to look sexy or at least not ugly to look at. They can do the same for wrinkles, eyebags, sagging skin. Did you notice that some faces now look as smooth as marble stone faces of statues ? And with sophisticated make-ups, they would be very happy to display pearl skin in pictures. Remove that and they can feel so irritated specially if pressed by circumstances to face people. Their happiness will be the provision for more time to deal with the mirror and cosmetics.

Those who worked very hard for the attainment of wealth will naturally not want to lose their gains. They will be very busy maintaining enterprises already built over time. Yet they will have other sources of happiness and success. Most businessmen call it profits or ROI, return on investments.

If we look at lives of the working class, great joy can be realized whenever new clothes are purchased. Or delicious food is served on a birthday. This is not true for people who are used to it.They’d say: ” So what’s new ?” A family who finally owns a house will celebrate. The new goal might be for new furnitures, new car, and many other amenities. Desires are endless. Those who preach charity are themselves in need of charity. Success could mean a big amount after computing 10 % and a big church can be a status symbol in the same way that a new car provides the same feeling.

What matters is your happiness and success. In the continuation, I hope to present a common pattern to achieve both.

The Sun must have opened his eyes and must have been trying to get up from his pure white velvety bed of clouds by now: I know how tough it is to get up in the early mornings; despite my love for the morning glory, the birds, the breeze, the plants and of the trees…it is very tough to get up in the early mornings!

I had gone through the deep down struggle against the “five more minutes” request from my heart a plenty of time and the will power I needed to gear up against such a fine temptation of falling asleep again! Oh yes, I know!

I had felt bad for the Sun and for his probable struggle against himself in getting up and walking away from the smooth bed sheets and the soft pillows! Somehow he must have gotten up and must have walked away from his bed by now! The dull and the oily orange rays have become a little stronger now, not much, but definitely a little stronger now than before!

I had continued to scroll along my path, while my eyes were still fixed at the rays around the Sun! The Sun is not yet visible of course, but may become visible at any moment now!

I had walked further on, wondering as to what shall be the routine of the Sun’s mornings? Will he be checking on the heat and the cold of the deserts and of the poles? Will he be saying hello to the distant planets of which we may not even have a clue till now?

Will the Sun be smiling at the oceans, while sharing a joke with the clouds? Will he rather be taking a walk on the side streets of the sky?

Who all will he be meeting while on his walk? Will he be meeting the lesser Gods to him? Will he be meeting the Greater Gods than him?

Has he ever noticed my lonely self walking down the winding roads, while my eyes had always been fixed at the sky for his appearance? Does he have any idea as to the extent of my love for the Sunlight and that of the summers?

While I was thinking in those terms, the Sun had emerged out of the clouds, not much, but just a part of his forehead…shinning, smooth and colorful…I had stopped in my track and had looked at him!

My eyes had closed in prayers for a few minutes and I had thanked the Sun, the only visible God for me, for giving me yet another day of life and living!

As usual, I had promised him that I shall choose to be happy, come whatever may, today! The life is so precious that I wouldn’t waste a moment in self-pity, unhappiness, depression and anxieties in handling the people and the circumstances!

I had smiled at the Sun and had smiled to myself. I had walked a bit further on and by the time, the Sun had emerged completely out of his habitat and had started scrolling along the sky, I returned back to my home, my heart getting fully soaked in the nectar of happiness, positivism, possibilities and the brand new opportunities of a brand new day!