THE BLESSING OF MOTHERHOOD and Mother’s Day Thoughts

There is no way to even come close to explaining the wonder, the amazement, the awe that fills you the moment you hold your newborn child in your arms for the first time.  Being a mother doesn’t mean you have to have physically given birth to a child.  There are some amazing, wonderful and loving mothers out there who adopted their children; children other women were unable to love and care for, whatever the reason may be.  Speaking of adoption, adoption and being an adopted child was explained to me perfectly and in words only a child would express by one little boy, my grandson, who is adopted.  He explained it this way, “Omma, I’m very special I think.  I’m adopted.  My Mom and Dad really love me a whole bunch because I grew in their heart.  Most kids grow in their mommy’s tummy.”  I think this is a pretty profound explanation for a six year old.  

Being a mother is a profound experience. There is no way to truly explain the pride and excitement you feel when your child utters his or her first words, takes his or her first steps or the deep love you feel when that same child hands you a bouquet of sunshine yellow dandelions that were picked from your yard as he or she hugs you around the legs and says “I love you,” his or her eyes shining and a big grin on their face because they brought you the most wonderful gift of love; and it is.  In that moment those dandelions, those pesky weeds, are worth a thousand times more than a dozen, dozen long stemmed red roses purchased at the local florist.

Being a mother is also a huge challenge from the moment your child is conceived to the day of their birth, getting them through school, finally grown up and out there on their own and even then it doesn’t end.  It is a 24/7/365 job often with long days and nights of caring for, worrying and praying for a sick child or a child who is struggling to succeed or going through all those inevitable growing pains.  Mothers are traditionally the peace keepers, the patient and listening ear, the shoulder to cry on when things aren’t going right, the healer of skinned knees and winter time sniffles and the one who is always there when you need them. 

Being a mother is a teaching and learning experience for both mother and child and it doesn’t end when they walk off the stage carrying their high school or college diploma.  They still need you.  They need your love and understanding, your empathy and compassion as they face their own trials in life and they come back again and again seeking your words of wisdom because you are the wisest woman on Earth in their eyes.  It is a great honor and privilege and very special blessing to be granted the gift of motherhood.

The Bible, God’s Holy word, teaches us that we are to honor our mother and father.  That means that we respect and obey them; treat them with love and kindness.  Someone a long time ago to these words to heart and decided it would be really a nice gesture to set aside a special day to especially honor our mother though we should and most do every day.  A special day was established for just this purpose and in America it falls on the second Sunday of May.  We do the same for fathers a month later in June.

The whole idea of having this special day began back in the 16th century in England where they established a special celebration day called “Mothering Sunday.”  It was a special day set aside to give special honor to your mother and a way of saying thank you for all the love, the care, the work, the tears, the laughter, the sadness and joy that comes with the title “Mother.” 

Mothering Sunday was a sort of “family reunion” day in which all the children would come home to share the day with their mom.  On this day the sons and daughters would assume all the household chores that Mom always did.  A special dinner would be prepared in her honor and the oldest child brought what was then known as “the mothering cake,” and it would be sliced and shared by the whole family after they all returned from a special church service that they all attended together with Mother.

The colonist brought this tradition with them when they came to America but it kind of fizzled out for awhile as they went through the struggles of establishing a new nation.  The women were just as involved as the men and there was little time set aside for frivolity and special celebration though some may have continued the tradition in a simpler fashion.  

I wasn’t able to find much information on Mother’s Day or Mothering Sunday in early America in my research.  However, in 1872 a woman by the name of Julia Ward Howe, (you may recognize the name of this famous author and know her as a woman’s rights advocate and leader and abolitionist;) proposed that a special day, June 2nd, be set aside as a day to honor our mother in the name of world peace.  The proposal was pretty much ignored by the new congress and even church leaders and it died a quick death buried somewhere in the bottom of the heap of proposals facing our congress as America struggled to keep a united nation and heal the scars of war.

It wasn’t until 1907 that the idea of establishing a special day to honor all mothers again came to the fore.  It was then that Anna Jarvis took up the cause and began campaigning for a special day to honor mothers.  Her mother had died in 1905 and she wanted a special day established to memorialize motherhood and the undying love of a mother toward her children, a day to honor and remember all the love given and sacrifices made by the mother who gave you life and raised you. 

Another year passed before much recognition of the idea took hold and then on May 10th, 1908, a special Mother’s Day service was held in a church in Grafton, West Virginia.  It was held in the church where Anna Jarvis’ mother had taught Sunday School and the family had been a member of that church.  It was on that day that the idea was reborn that a special day be set aside to honor all mothers, both the living and those who have died and Anna Jarvis became known as the “Mother of Mother’s Day” here in America.

Anna Jarvis began promoting her idea of establishing a national holiday for this purpose, not just in a small church in a small town in West Virginia.  She met with civic organizations and presented her ideas to public officials and church leaders, to anyone who would listen and she wrote, published and distributed booklets that promoted her idea of establishing such a holiday and that it should be celebrated nationwide.  After all, if it wasn’t for mother and her love and sacrifices where would we be as a family, a community, a nation?  She had a point, a good point.

Anna Jarvis’ efforts finally caught the attention of the mayor of Philadelphia who proclaimed it a good idea and proclaimed a special day be set aside for honoring our mother establishing a local Mother’s Day.  Anna Jarvis didn’t stop here.  She carried her plan to Washington D.C.  Here politicians were quick to give it verbal support and States began to individually proclaim a special day for mothers.  West Virginia, where it all first began was the first State to proclaim Mother’s Day as an official holiday and other States soon followed.

Soon after the first State proclamations the Representatives of Alabama and Texas wrote up a joint resolutions to establish a national day to honor mother and presented the resolution for Mother’s Day to be observed and celebrated throughout the nation.  It quickly passed in both houses of Congress and in 1914 President Woodrow Wilson signed a bill into law establishing the second Sunday of May as a legal holiday, Mother’s Day.

So, Happy Mother’s Day and thank you for being the best mom on Earth, my mom.  You are so very loved and appreciated.  Thank you for loving me and for all the sacrifices you made for my sake.  No words can ever fully describe the wonder of the relationship between a mother and child.  Happy Mother’s Day.  May you always be abundantly blessed. 

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.

He passed the first interview; the director did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth’s academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, Never had a year when he did not score.

The director asked,

“Did you obtain any scholarships in school?”

the youth answered “none”.

The director asked,

“Was it your father who paid for your school fees?”

The youth answered,

“My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.

The director asked,

” Where did your mother work?”

The youth answered,

“My mother worked as clothes cleaner.

The director requested the youth to show his hands.

The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked,

”Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?”

The youth answered,

“Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books.

Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.

The director said,

“I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother’s hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.*

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother’s hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother’s hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother’s hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother’s hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director’s office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth’s eyes, asked:

“Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?”

The youth answered,

” I cleaned my mother’s hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes’

The Director asked,

“Please tell me your feelings.”

The youth said,

Number 1,

I know now what appreciation is. Without my mother, there would not the successful me today.

Number 2,

by working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done.

Number 3,

I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said,

” This is what I am looking for to be my manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired.

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company’s performance improved tremendously.

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop “entitlement mentality” and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent’s efforts.

When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others.

For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement.

He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?*

You can let your kid live in a big house, give him a Driver & Car for going around, Eat a Good Meal, learn Piano, Watch a Big Screen TV. But when you are Cutting Grass, please let them experience it. After a Meal, let them Wash their Plates and Bowls together with their Brothers and Sisters. Tell them to Travel in Public Bus, It is not because you do not have Money for Car or to Hire a Maid, but it is because you want to Love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will Grow Grey, same as the Mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

You would have forwarded many mails to many and many of them would have back mailed you too…but try and forward this story to as many as possible…this may change somebody’s fate…

Image via Wikipedia

When a U.S. marine, Sgt. Brandon Morgan returned home after serving six months in Afghanistan, someone snapped a picture of him kissing his beloved. Of course if his beloved had been a long legged blond nobody would have paid any attention. But his beloved was a good looking man. Somebody placed the picture on Facebook and it attracted the world’s attention. Comments were made that the world is going to hell in a hand basket, and one person phrased it this way, “Sick, degrading and deviant behavior. These low life’s need to be dishonorably discharged from the Marines.” There were also comments of appreciation for Morgan’s service to his country and well wishes from his countrymen, but the whole episode shows we haven’t come that far.

The GOP hasn’t progressed in time from the looks of it. Fighting over contraceptives, women’s rights and bashing gays. We don’t live in the days of “Father knows Best” and “Andy of Mayberry” Those days are past and it’s a good thing. Times change and we move ahead. If we can’t get along with people in our own country who are different, how will we ever learn to get along with other countries. The day will come when a kiss between lovers, regardless of gender, will attract absolutely no attention whatsoever. When that day finally arrives it will be like a fresh breeze blowing through a dusty room that has been locked for years. I have to believe people learn and eventually change for the better.

This program, ranked by The Economist as “excellent”, is taught for a decade and is structured as follows: students have three cycles of two-week classroom course at the beginning, middle and end, and in between there are two rounds of six months away from each. The program starts and ends with classes and meetings, and half  considered a two-week stay. Another he describes as “excellent” is the online University of India, located in the second. Then comes the Online MBA in IT University of  Management , although this program has to settle for a “good”.




The methodology used by the Economist operates as follows. The school highest score in each category, in this case IE Business School, receiving a score of 100% and the other schools are evaluated based on this rating. Those that manage more than 95% are rated as excellent, programs that achieve between 75% and 95% are classified as “good”, those between 50% and 74% are “average” and those that remain below 50% are considered deficient. The study by The Economist classifies programs according to three categories are given equal weighting.
The first concerns the content of the program and measures such things as the relationship between the number of teachers and the number of students, the percentage of teachers with doctoral students assessment of faculty do and they do the program. The second category is related to the quality of peers and measures the percentage of students completing the program, work experience and appreciation of the cultural level. Finally, the study considers aspects that are directly related to Distance learning MBA, which takes into account the sense of connection to school and value for money as the students.

Programs in business administration are valued in executive positions because through them the person improves an organization’s strategic vision and managerial skills in different areas of the company, explains the director of the MBA program at the Online Education.
For more information about this study please click here MBA .

Take time оut each day tо give thanks fоr just five blessings іn yоur life. Take five minutes tо honor and identify yоur blessings. A daily practice оf gratitudе cаn change yоur life. Keep а gratitudе journal especially fоr thаt purpose. Opеn yоur heart and soul tо experience yоur blessings by fully embracing gratitudе and making іt а way оf life. Extend random acts оf kindness tо each person yоu meet today, evеn if it’s simply holding а door opеn fоr someone. Give sincere thanks tо everyone and everything. Write thank yоu notes tо yоur paperboy, yоur cleaning woman, thе boss, etc. Maintain thіs positive force and energy іn yоur life. Always remember thе bad tо appreciate thе good.

Here аrе sоmе оf thе following benefits оf gratitude:

1. Gratitudе strengthens thе immune system, improves sleep patterns, and reduces stress.
2. An attitudе оf gratitudе makes yоu а mоrе effective leader and manager іn thе workplace and results іn job satisfaction.
3. In relationships and friendships аn attitudе оf gratitudе helps build trust and increases generosity.
4. An attitudе оf gratitudе helps yоur spirit and character development.

A daily gratitudе practice cаn improve yоur sleep, overall energy, and emotional well being. Transform yоur life today by choosing and starting each day wіth а new attitudе and plenty оf gratitude. Think fоr one second аbоut thе impact thаt yоur gratitudе wіll hаvе оn yоu and аll thе people thаt yоu wіll touch by simply being thankful.

Are you at risk of becoming unstable? YES, It is true that life can bring anyone down, even if you are strong willed, have High resilience , are emotionally nourished and economically comfortable. There are always risks when interacting with your life, which we must do to be eligible to have one; Rough Tides become Stronger. Rips and Crosscurrents intertwine and before you even realise it, your struggling , you are weak and life in an instant has spiralled to this point without even seeing it.

Amazingly you are not a different person, you are still the person you always were- just emotionally scared or even damaged; worn out, fed up, disillusioned, bitter, frustrated- what ever you would like to call it! So the common assumption we grow up with is we must just never let ourselves  become a loser- like those people- those who are caught in the Downward Spiraling Whirlpool of life. Yet all of these people were once just like you, avoiding the cracks in the Facade as to avoid becoming broken.

Its time to accept and acknowledge that Anyone can end up this way, in fact many of us will feel the beginnings of a Spiral downwards but have the ability to self correct, others have the ability to repress. There are times in life you find yourself thinking or doing things you never imagined you would do; but yet you are still the same person as you have always been on the inside, your life just encountered themes or situations that altered the way you viewed the world; changing direction to avoid the failure spiral. These real life situations never entered your dreams and plans for the Future, therefore unprepared and unable to cope.

I once felt I had found absolute true happiness! Over night it disappeared with no warning; life events just crushed me.  It was overwhelming as I had really worked so hard to make it through working, study, a young mother at 14, always having a baby to care for while looking for career options; Just once I felt like Id achieved what was expected; I felt I had earned the right to happiness as I had made something of myself in life; completed more of my goals than I ever knew I had in the beginning; I stayed true to what I said I would be, I came clean on all the mistakes I had made in life. I blamed no one for my mistakes or paths I chose and I tried to keep my life separate from my parents and siblings as to not shame them. Stubborn in my own right, I had always been determined to do things my way, ready to accept the family motto ‘you made your bed you lie in IT! and this is exactly the choice I made therefore that meant no Return. No matter what laying in that bed in tails; you made it, you own it, you deserve it.

A trash mouth conversation from a friend was all it took, it all come tumbling down. Almost 7 years this Christmas. I now have learnt so much about the world never evidently mentioned in my psychological studies alone.

A holistic psychoanalyst is the career path I chose; encompassing every aspect of the person, what the causes and the cures; there is not just one true answer and definitely not one true cause. An Individual approach to analysis and treatment is essential, but also the in-depth training of reality of failure and imperfect decisions through out the years it takes to find total self actualization.  I have suffered many horrific events in my life time, eventually the repression and attempts to remove them from my existence resulted in eventual break down; along with the breakdown came abandonment and loneliness. From the Ultimate high that we had reached where we had been trekking for so many long long years, to have it taken from beneath you in one day, never to come back exactly that way again.

Many more negative events occurred after the original whirlpool bringing to light the total ignorance I had for my own life although I was an expect at fixing everyone elses.  It is the pain of having been blind to the obvious, to not see what was in front of me, believing that peoples views toward would change. Instead they welcomed back the legend of the Street drawn daughter they once lost to the leer of the streets. They disowned me but still tried to control me and when I succeeded in my own right, they refused to see me; they were waiting for the day that were right and I become nothing because I had left.

The painful lessons I learned are evident in who I am now; seeing the real world from the shadows of loneliness guarantees you a more realistic view of the majority of people we consider normal Joe Blows..For these people I rose above all odds to make them proud; but it never ended. I was forever under their rule; fix their own mistakes by telling me to live life a different way; yet the advice was not wisdom but frustration; the need to control how events in others lives should be handled is a more selfish behaviour; not allowing someone to live the life they choose to live due to not concern but self-actualization through someone else’s life

I held out my hand to try and catch my family when they were falling; and held out my hand to loved ones for support. Instead I got rejected from both sides to find myself alone. If I chose to take the path people had laid for me with my children I had all the support I needed; if I did things my way It was the Highway for both me and the kids.

Seven years on and I have regrouped my stance on life; Bitterness and anger come and went often, sadness would occasionally slip itself in between; then other times I just wish I could give up. Instead Now i ponder the next phase of my life; remember the years just past; deduct my stance in the environment Ive created for myself and  determine areas in which may need attention or changing; then teach this lesson of mistakes to all who will listen.  Document all apparent failures that you feel have no good direction in their course in life; at the time you just felt like you were being drowned by the most evil of spirits; bringing you down blow after blow with no compassion or remorse; life changes dramatically and your paths have been removed and replaced with different ones; in a place much darker and dangerous. You can see no absolute good or reason in life that this experience could be helpful. Yet years from now pondering life at a higher level; open-mindedness find the positive effects it has had in the future; the direction leading to somewhere better than before. A wrong turn actually leading to the right one?

I do recommend just to briefly consider finding something good out of something that hurt you so bad; sometimes there is just not enough good to come from the horrific pain they suffered, to try and make this occur despite their pain it will destroy the emotions beyond return. This is an individual analysis as it will be the persons coping mechanisms and approach to healing that will determine the true course in which to head in understanding bad luck and devastation within a time of happiness. It is important that coping mechanisms are strong and monitored by yourself regularly. There are never any answers to why but there are patterns in behaviours that gives you some idea of the suffering that one person can cause if not treated for their problem. Awareness will help avoid and cope with these situations.

Basically it is time we teach people to become aware of their dangers and how to get in touch with their intuition and instincts. Teach the weak how to be strong, teach that the weak can be strong, as well as teach that the what sometimes may seem weak and quiet, can also be a seriously dangerous underneath . All is not always as it seems.

 The Contemplation Action Plan is the first ebook to guide you through some contemplation scenarios and then Action Plan to add a fresh pathway to make life more fulfilling. Understanding people and behaviours will arm you to be equipped with the necessary tools to assess a theme or situation accurately and then contemplate the best course of action based on your individual personality, coping mechanisms, emotional stability and environment. Being you are the only one that knows exactly what you can and can’t cope with; you can guide yourself through the channels and  work out your pathway as you go, twists and turns highly recommended and almost 100% guaranteed.

Email me for the First 2 weeks free. Dr.madamrose@gmail.com

We’ve all received compliments and flattery. But do we always recognize which is which when we see them? Both can be used to praise others, but when we’re on the receiving end the praise isn’t always welcomed. For one thing, compliments are seen as positive and make us feel good about ourselves while where flattery is seen as negative and make us feel uncomfortable. The difference between them is the objective of the person extolling the honor and whether the person expects to benefit in some way.

What Are Flattery and Compliments?

A look in any dictionary will provide a good definition of these two words. To compliment someone means to admire and respect them, to offer sincere praise for some accomplishment or good deed, to let the person know that you appreciate them and why. To flatter another person, on the other hand, means giving them praise that they haven’t earned and that you don’t mean, or heaping praise on them that is in-proportionate to their abilities, accomplishments, or deeds.  The insincerity of flattery is what makes us feel uncomfortable.

Flattery  and Its Synonyms

The synonyms of flattery illustrate the negative undercurrents to the word.  Words like adulation (admiring gone overboard), fawning (using praise to ingratiate yourself on someone’s good graces),  and blarney (using charm or magnetism to beguile someone) all demonstrate the negative uses for flattery. Flattery is used to persuade the other person to do something or to obtain something from that person. The flatterer doesn’t mean the words being offered to the other person, they are only offering the praise to get something they want.

The Compliment and Its Synonyms

Similar words to compliment carry a more positive tone. To offer acclaim (gives the other person approval, gives backing to their efforts), to exalt (honors and respects the persons reputation), to salute (welcomes the other person and proffers kindness and support) all have positive associations. To commend, commemorate or congratulate the other person, rewards them for their accomplishments and deeds.

The Difference Between Flattery and Complements

Flattery is the equivalent of ego stroking. It takes a person’s natural need to be praised and uses it to sway others into doing something they might not ordinarily do. Flattery points to someone’s anger or jealousy or greed, and tells that person how that makes them a great person. Anger becomes a sing of strength, jealousy becomes a sign of protectiveness, and greed becomes a sign of someone who knows what they want. By telling others what they want to hear, the person using flattery manipulates the other person into doing what the flatterer wants.

Compliments use kind words to build deep, meaningful relationships. The praise comes from the heart and is used to point out positive traights in the other person. Compliments, in turn, make the giver feel good about themselves because they made the other person aware of some postive aspect in themselves and because they know that their words, actions and accomplishments are appreciated.

I took my first composition course my sophomore year in college. I loved that course. I aced that course. The entire semester my professor begged me to major in English rather than psychology. I told him that literature is boring and that I would prefer to study the human mind. The next semester in composition 2, he tried convincing me again to major in English and again I said no. Today, after having completed a BS in psychology, I have realized that teaching English is in fact what I want to do for the rest of my life. I want to show everyone how important good writing is, and how funny misplaced modifiers can be (although, I’m sure I have a million in this article because I’m so excited and don’t plan on spell checking this article at all). Anyhow, I suppose I realized this in my last seminar in research methods course. I was required to write a 20 page paper on whether or not students comprehended information better when presented by a man than they do when presented by a woman. I realized then how much I love grammar and spelling and word arranging. I decided to get a second BS in English with a post-secondary certification in teaching, however with an English degree comes literature…. Tons of literature. I just stepped out of my first literature class, renaissance literature, and I was shocked beyond belief. After only 50 minutes in my FIRST literature class, I have realized that there is way more psychology and human-mind studying in this than I could have ever imagined! Internal turmoil, dual vision, Holbein, Petrarch?!?! Why have I not ever noticed this? Was it because I first needed an entire 4 years of studying psychological issues before I could notice them in literary works, even movies?! Or would I have been able to notice them without prior knowledge? To many, this may be completely irrelevant but I truly am in awe of the circumstances, and  I am sure that I will be in more awe as I dive further into this new, unknown haven I have discovered. What I loved most about my first literature course this morning was how we had to analyze a painting by Holbein and excerpts from renaissance authors telling stories of how they were lost and then found God again. This type of stuff is beautiful to me. I am so excited to spend this time reading about internal conflicts in literary works that are beautifully written and edited. I must end this article now because it’s time for my American literature course!!!!!

Every man adores a good woman who can cater to his every need and fill the cracks in his soul. The foundation of a relationship is cemented on the basis of effort, understanding, and concern and nurtured through love and adaptability. Men, although seemingly tough on the outside, reveal a brittle and tender heart under their façade and breaking this barrier can be a hard skill.

As the saying goes, “The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”.  Cooking for your boyfriend is one of the greatest expressions of love. Rather than the desire to obtain culinary perfection, it is the love and effort put into the preparation of the meal that makes a big impact. The cherished memories of home cooked meals are sure to surpass the recollections of dinner dates at fancy restaurants. Whether its coming home after a long day at work or whatever the occasion might be, your boyfriend is bound to appreciate a warm, home cooked meal sure to content his soul.

Men sure do love women who can coddle their ego.  The two “A’s”, assurance and appreciation can make your boyfriend head over heels for you. Whether it was that 20 minute skype conversation he managed to squeeze in while overseas on a business trip or the weekend he spent talking care of you while your were sick, tell him through a letter, email, or simply a text message how much you appreciate everything in specific that he has done for you and your nurturing relationship. Constant assurance is a great warrior against those doubts, insecurities and inferiorities that can often creep up on us and your boyfriend is sure to find contentment in the appreciation you express through the little but heartwarming things he’s done for you.

Get involved in his life. Men often look for the whole package in a woman and that means going beyond the superficial aspect of a relationship and delving into all sectors of his life. Set time aside everyday to ask about work, his family and anything new that’s going on in his life even if its just a 10 minute phone call before bed. Men put up a tough exterior even when they’re crumbling inside and chances are, your boyfriend might be going through some rough times that he’s been wanting to confide in someone or would just appreciate your effort to get involved in his life.

 Pamper him. There’s nothing like a session of adoration to keep the spark in your relationship going. Whether it’s a nice hot oil massage, bubble bath with candles and romantic music, surprising him at work with lunch or letting him sit around in his boxers all day playing video games while you serve him, let his know that you’re dedicating a day to his devotion.

Endless love. Take every moment to show your boyfriend how blessed you feel to have him in your life. Whether its that random kiss on the cheek or coming home to a big smile and warm embrace, grab up every opportunity to cuddle, hold hands and kiss. There’s nothing better to start off your day than waking up to find your lover in your arms or vice versa.

Plan activities. This doesn’t mean that you have to burn a hole in your wallet. It can be as simple as indulging in the ambience of the sunset together or sitting at the beach watching the waves crash against the shore. There’s also those weekend getaways or the sheer moral obligation wanting to do something meaningful together like helping out at the animal or homeless shelter that can strengthen a relationship.

Love him tender. Intimacy is almost like a soul tie that binds two people together. Plan a special night for your boyfriend whereby the both of have no other obligations but endless loving. Throw on his favorite lingerie and set the mood with candle light mazes through your home or rose petals guiding the way to the bedroom where he finds you. For a tryst you’ll never forget, turn on the video camera and make a copy of your night for him to keep.

Scrapbook your special moments and gift it to your boyfriend. It’s always nice to reminisce about the past and look back on the precious moments that you have shared together.  Your boyfriend will be sure to develop a smile looking through it.

As the saying goes, it’s not the number of breaths you take but the moments that take your breath away. It’s never easy to love someone and give them all of yourself considering the visceral distaste for men and relationships influencing our lives. The comfort however lies in the fact that the fate of our relationship lies in our own hands and it is possible to create an eternal bond.

* Avoid that your husband observes you in dirty clothes or rough shape.
* Avoid prohibited types of ornamentation, e.g. tattoo.
* Use the types of perfumes, colors, and clothes that the husband likes.  * Change hair style, perfumes, etc. from time to time.
* However with these things you should avoid excessiveness

      4- Intercourse
* Hasten for intercourse when your husband feels compulsion for it.
* Keep your body clean and smelling good as possible including cleaning yourself after intercourse.
* Exchange loving phrases with your husband. * Leave your husband to fully satisfy his desire.
* Choose suitable times and good occasions for exciting your husband,
and encouraging him to do intercourse, e.g. after returning from a travel, weekends, etc.    
5- Satisfaction With What God Has Allotted
* You shouldnt be depressed because your husband is poor or works in a simple job.    6- Indifference to Worldly Things

* You should not consider this world as your hope and interest.
* You should not ask your husband for many unnecessary things.
* Encourage your husband to reduce expenses and save some money in order to give charity and feed poor and needy people.

      7- Appreciation  
* By the saying of the prophet, the majority of people in hell were women because they were ungrateful and deny the good done to them.
* The result of being grateful is that your husband will love you more and will do his best to please you in more ways.
* The result of being ungrateful is that your husband will be disappointed and will start asking himself: Why should I do good to her, if she never appreciates?    
8- Devotion and Loyalty

* In particular in times of calamities in your husband’s body or business, e.g. an accident or a bankruptcy
* Supporting him through your own work, money, and properties if needed.

     
9- Compliance to Him
* In all what he commands you, unless it is prohibited
* Husband is the leader of the family, and the wife is his support and consultant.
    10-Pleasing Him If He Is Angry  
* First off, try to avoid what will guarantee his anger.
* But if it happens that you can’t, then try to appease him as follows:
1- If you are mistaken, then apologize.
2- If he is mistaken then:
# Keep still instead of arguing or
# Yield your right or
# Wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully with him.
3- If he was angry because of external reasons then:
# Keep silent until his anger goes
# Find excuses for him, e.g. tired, problems at work, someone insulted him
# Do not ask many questions and insist on knowing what happened,
e.g. 1) You should tell me what happened? 2) I must know what made you so angry. 3) You are hiding something, and I have the right to know.  
  11-Guardianship While He is Absent
* Protect yourself from any prohibited relationships.
* Keep the secrets of the family, particularly bedroom talks and things that the husband doesn’t like other people to know.
* Take care of the house and children. * Take care of his money and properties.
* Do not go out of your house without his permission .
* Refuse people whom he does not like to come over.
* Be good to his parents and relatives in his absence.       12- Showing Respect for his Family and Friends  
* You should welcome his guests and try to please them, especially his parents.
* You should avoid problems as much as you can with his relatives.
* You should avoid putting him is a position where he had to choose between his mother and his wife. * Show good hospitality for his guests by arranging a nice place for them to sit in, perfection of food, welcoming their wives, etc.
* Encourage him to visit his relatives and invite them to your home.
* Phone his parents and sisters, send letters to them, buy gifts for them, support them in calamities, etc..       13- Admirable Jealousy
* Jealousy is a sign for wife’s love for her husband but it should be kept within the limits e.g. not insulting or backbiting others, disrespecting them, etc..
* You should not follow or create unfounded doubts.       14-Patience and Emotional Support  
* Be patient when you face poverty and strained circumstances.
* When you face calamities and disasters that may happen to you, your husband, your children, relatives or properties, e.g. diseases, accidents, death, etc.
* When he mistreats you, counteract his ill-treatment by good treatment  
  15- Support in Obedience to God

* Cooperate with your husband and remind him of different obligatory and voluntary worships.
* Encourage him to pray at night. * Support your husband activities by encouraging him, offering wise opinions, soothing his pains, etc.
* Yielding some of your rights and a part of your time with your husband      16-Good Housekeeping
* Keep it clean, decorated and well arranged.
* Change house arrangements from time to time to avoid boredom.
* Perfect of food and prepare healthy foods. * Learn all the necessary skills for managing the house, e.g. sewing.
* Learn how to raise children properly
    17-Preservation of Finances and the Family

* Do not spend from his money, even for charity without his permission unless you are sure that he agrees on this.
* Protect his house, car, etc. while he is absent.
* Keep the children in good shape, clean clothes, etc. Take care of their nutrition, health, education, manners, etc.