So many days have gone by since the immortal words were uttered by  Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. in his famous speech, “I have a dream!”  We all recognize that a dream can be so fleeting sometimes to be lost in the wind leaving less than a memory behind.  While every year parades are held nationwide to celebrate the life of the Rev. King, the dream seems sometimes to be less potent than the original words.

African-American community activists would argue with the devil himself that the dream of the Rev. King has not altered in any way.  To say that the dream has somehow lost its meaning over the years would be blasphemy.  Still, we have to consider the number of racial and prejudicial acts reported in the news each day.  We have to remember that although the law is considered to be on the side of right, public opinion and thought do not necessarily follow.

Today in the year 2012 man is still judged by the color of his skin all across the world.  The Native American Indian is still look down upon and can be found in some of the poorest areas of the nation, trying to survive in a country that should provide them with a promised land.  The African-American today finds himself not only disavowing his own kind but actually killing his own people.  Even the renowned white man, Caucasian, has lost much of his luster, involved in too many crooked and shady deals that now make him out to be nothing more than the Devils agent.

Well, I have a dream also.  My dream is a far cry from that of Rev. King but I believe it is shared among the populace.  I believe that children can live lives innocent and free from death, horror and crime.  I believe that we can all grow up in a world that allows us to be creative and productive as to afford us all the material gains we desire.  I believe that all men, women and children can lead a happy life among peers that share the same dreams, hopes and desires.  I believe we will know our differences and learn how to deal with each of them.  I believe that no one will go one day wanting for anything.  I believe that this thing called poverty will be eradicated from the face of this earth never to exist again.  I believe in the power of an individual to do good, to create good, to live good and to embody good.  I believe we will  ascend to the stars.

These things I believe, and so I wonder, what is the difference between my belief and the Rev. King’s dream of a promised land.  Yes, a dream may be fleeting but a belief once instilled and embedded in an individual, and a race of people, can never have its strength lessened over time.  A true belief can never be lost like a whisper in the wind.  And, so I believe, and I continue to believe.

Last year at this time I was on the verge of exploring a new world. ONLINE gaming.
My PS3 would open a world I had no idea I would venture into. Let alone enjoy and recent at the same time. In the years before 2011, I spent a good deal of time alone or accompanied by family. Rarely did I seek or have the company of a male other then my son and nephew in this time. My family is mostly female. Mine was a quiet life for the most part. I enjoyed it that way. (After years of other.)

Still once I began going on line to play, I found the people I met there interesting and fun. Oddly one person in particular seemed to befriend me and be every where I was all the time. A male gamer. I being ignorant as it were of the ways of cyber life…was unaware that there was anything but the fun of game companionship going on. As we played everyday together. It wasn’t until my son pointed it out that I began to wonder at the behavior of my companion. Others in our play group seemed to notice the same and mentioned to me.

I hadn’t long to wonder as not long after my companion informed me that he had developed feelings for me. He further mentioned after my questions on the matter that he would like to explore a possible relationship.

Long story short I began a cyber relationship. I who had not had a relationship in well lets just say “a while”;was off on a running. I must say up front I had my doubts and was very sceptical as to how far this could actually go, as well as where it could go. If you have read my post before you will know I am a person that believes we get what we ask for. We receive what we need when we need it and when we are ready for it. So pushing my trepidation to the back I plunged forward; after a brief self talk. lol (Almost three Weeks.)

When my friend began to hit the marks on my list(I keep a list of the right man for me)I was in thralled. I had some years ago had a dream about a man I did not know. I carried this man in my mind. There he stayed. Until…once my friend and I began to speak over mic’s, my list and dream came into my mind.We spoke everyday for hours. Online,on at first. Next we spoke on the phone and later email. I began checking off the list. There were so many things that my friend fit spookily. That I was reminded that the universe takes notes.

Cut to early spring. I had the best of times and later the worst of times. I am happy to say I am non the worse for wear. I am thrilled and thankful for the experience I had. I had grown in many ways from my online tatatat. I believe I have been in love. I believe I am better for it. I am happy to say last year was one I will always remember. It has taught me that in spite of my self I do want to share my life with others. I am grateful for the people that have shared their lives with me.

I asked for the person I got. I wrote him into being as it were. I am still a believer in ask and you shall receive. If you put it out there it will come to you. I named it, claimed it and held it for awhile. I am sorry to say we do not communicate any longer. For my part it is a sad statement of life that sometimes friendship dies.
Sometimes we do not continue on a journey with the people we meet and share pieces of our lives. I am richer for the experience and the poetry that came out of that time with him. I am richer for the emotional maturity that I received from that time and experience.

I am bolder in my dealing with the unknown and I am proud of myself for all that has happened. I could not do it any different were I given another chance. I am still an online game player. I am still waiting to be in love and waiting for someone else to hit the marks on my list.In my own country,state, city or elsewhere. I believe it will happen again and perhaps when it does, it will be the long journey; we take. I look at last years events as starter romance. lol.

As I said it had been awhile. I wasn’t certain I even wanted the ups and downs that can come with a relationship. I found I do. I believe in love. Maybe not at first sight or first “sound” as it were.  I have my times when I am content to be with myself. Then there are the times I need to be engaged. Communicating with people is a human need. I won’t deny myself that part of life and should it become more with someone or other…then bring your best game and lets play.

Thank you PS3 and Sony.  Thank you JP.

Belief is Borrowed and Trust is Intrinsic

Dictionaries present belief and trust as synonyms but there is a vast difference. Belief is always borrowed and it comes from outside, generally imposed upon you. On the other hand trust is intrinsic and it happens on its own. When trust takes birth in your existence, you are suddenly a transformed person, a better human being, and a winner who does not want to achieve anything. You are a part of the existence you trust and you begin to see new meanings in life and everything seems to be smiling towards you.

I am a Christian and I am proud of my beliefs and I do not care if Christ and a manger scene are politically correct or not as it is what I believe in. I don’t think that many people remember at this time of the year that the first reason for our celebration on Decembber 25th is because of Christ. My question would be how can you take the reason for the day out of the day?

America was based on the beliefs of our forefathers and they included God and Christ in many of their beginnings and we should not turn our backs to that very first start that the country had. “In God We Trust” is on our money because they were not afraid to show that they believed in God and that they were trusting in Him. Why is it that God can’t be in our public buildings or in anything that politicians talk about?

America is known for being a melting pot where many religions and cultures mix together and it seems that there are many places in the United States where American born people are a minority, but it should not take away from the fact that our country was built on our belief in God. My feelings are that if you come into our country with a belief different from ours that is fine and you should be free to worship and talk about your God, but please let me include mine in my holidays and my day by allowing prayer at my workplace or school and by allowing me to include Christ in my Christmas if I choose to. Bow your head as I pray and pray to your God, whoever or whatever it might be while I speak with mine. If you choose Happy Holidays over Merry Christmas that is fine as well, but do not be offended because I am saying Merry Christmas in my world because I believe that Christ should be in the season!

To all my readers, I want to say that I wish each of you a Merry Christmas and the happiest of holidays! For those of you who prefer Happy Holidays or Season’s Greetings or even the Merry X-Mas, I still wish a joyous season and the best wishes for the new year!!

Confidence grew with a world view that affirmed the community and society generally tend to be different between one and other social groups. For example communities that developed from the time of application of the political slavery or segregation in the United States will have the belief that black people will always feel inferior when compared with whites. People who have a patriarchal world view will have the conviction that men are people who have these advantages or superior in public space than women. This resulted in the emergence of domestication role and status of women in the domain of work and power.

Understanding belief systems are the basics of the interrelation of the various beliefs beliefs relating to social conditions or the type of diverse activities. Thus, belief systems are complex compared with the specific beliefs that exist in it. Specific beliefs that are part of belief systems tend to form the unity of the whole, although they could saj exhibit many internal inconsistencies.

Examples of belief system is what is known as social Darwinism is a belief system that assumes that social life is a struggle and domination constantly, and who is able to adapt will be the winner. Another example is creationisme is a belief system that bases itself on the interpretation of the Bible states that man was created in the existing form it is today since 10,000 years ago, so the theory of biological evolution of homo sapiens to be unjustified.

Specific beliefs are part of a world view, suppose one of the color black in a chessboard into a world view, while the belief systems into a frame or frame required by that belief. People usually act rationally to accept the beliefs and belief systems are evolving, so often as a collection of human society consists of cross chaos belief system that is trusted by the public parts of it, some accept that belief or partially modify or even reject it overall.

Thus, may be useful.

You may ask why this came about, or even came a part of our conversation. This is the Christmas Season, and seriously I am all about Christmas…But also I don’t judge or condemn anyone else for their religious beliefs. But her children come to the restaurant where we work every day when they get out of school. They wait an hour or so for her to get off work. They had gifts from school, not wrapped, but gifts and she was so upset over this. She threw them away in the trash. The gifts were gloves, a hat, and a scarf. She said quickly we don’t celebrate Christmas or any other holiday…And I have told the teachers…So why do they keep giving them things when I ask them not to…

Actually I knew that she was a Jehovah Witness and have always known since day one of working with her. For throwing things away and the real reason that I am upset, is because in telling her children there wasn’t a Santa Claus while there were a number of children that were in the restaurant that were between the ages of 7 and nine or so. Some were setting at a table near her children… She spoke to her children telling them loud and clear that there wasn’t a Santa Claus or any other mystical human that would bring those gifts or anything else. And I have told you not to believe and you still do…We are Jehovah witnesses…what part of that don’t you understand.

Then talking to her about telling her children in front of customers about her beliefs shouldn’t happen. This is when she asked me if my God the same God as hers was, and if I knew his name. Seriously I am not against anyone’s religion, or what they choose to believe…The point is she should respect others, mostly at her place of employment, as I respect her religion. Don’t put me down for what I believe and I won’t put you down. But she is an employee, and she should choose to act and represent the place she works for.

This is a woman that accepts Christmas Cards from Customers with money in them, are you shaking your head yet? If you don’t celebrate Christmas, then why do your accept the cards with money? Why don’t you refuse them and practice what you peach. I asked her, and she explained it off as it is the service I give to them the whole year long! It isn’t a gift, but it given in a Christmas card. Really, then why can’t your children accept a scarf, socks and a hat…? Because it is a gift…Really what is the difference? Mind your own business, this business is mine…she explained.

Sorry I know the name of your God, but I know the name of my God and I know the name of my judge at the end of my time on earth. I am not judging her, just upset with her for forcing her beliefs on the customers and me, throwing stuff away, if she didn’t want her children to have it ask if someone else wanted them and even asking me if I know his name, it may not be the same name she calls him, but I know him, he has saved me, he has been there for me, and he always listens when no one else does. So her asking me this hurt my feelings, I have always treated her good; I don’t judge her for her religion so what gives her the right to judge me, she doesn’t have the right or the position to do so, And yes this hurt my feelings.

Christmas is a highlight of my year, seeing relatives, spending time with family, and looking forward to giving and receiving gifts. A major family dinner to die for and also being a Grandmother now, enjoying my Grand-daughters Christmas Eve and looking forward to Santa Claus as a family tradition. Don’t judge me on my family traditions, and I won’t judge you.

My family traditions are what I was raised on, and you may not agree. My family means a lot during this holiday time, gathering together, eating, and enjoying each other’s company. Christmas Eve Traditions, loving, is spending time together. Really it isn’t all about the gifts, being together, seeing people you haven’t seen all year. Okay, there isn’t a Santa Claus…it is fun…The tracking of the sleigh etc. But truly the reason for the season is Jesus…Jesus is the reason for the season. But this holiday comes but once a year. And my Grand-daughter will know Jesus, and My God….or actually her God and she will know his name. And hope she sees a little Santa time along the way…the magic human mystical being of Santa Claus.

So some of we see things differently than others, is it because of how we were raised? Agreed I don’t want you to push your beliefs on me, and agreed I won’t push my beliefs on you…Actually I wouldn’t disrespect your beliefs so don’t disrespect mine.

The whole subject of this conversation and how she handled it in confronting her children in the place where we work in front of the customers that keep us in a job, with her beliefs. You work where people celebrate Christmas; you work where customers celebrate Christmas. We shouldn’t have to bow to you, or shy away from our Christmas Spirit just because you don’t celebrate.

And actually My God is the same God as yours you just call him a different name.

          Do we have respect for death or a fear for death? In my situation I have a fear for death and that gives me a respect for death. A respect for death because I have been there in the way of a boat sinking and I was trapped inside, through luck I manage to survive. In 1985 I had a stroke and then again luck was on my side. As we look at people who have lost their lives we feel remorse for them, we pray for them to go to heaven. It is like we put the finishing touches to their lives, but they will always be with us in our mind. In some countries the dead are with the loved ones all the time, mentally and physically.

          Mentally you know about, but physically is a different matter. In our society we mourn, we bury the dead with respect, and we go home and eat, but in some countries they mummify the corpses and display them. They display them in a way as to respect them all the time. When you think of mummification, you think of Egyptian mummies, but there are mummies all over the world, in Greenland, South Africa, China, and even Native American, and that does not even touch the surface of mummification. There are some cultures that even go as far as putting the love ones on the roof of their houses and some exhibit the dead as fixtures in the home.

           Now there are other ritual effects that are weird to our western culture, such as charm boxes, mystic potions, medicine men, and my favorite is in Haiti, it is zombies. A man in Haiti walked into an emergency room regurgitating blood and had aches all over his body. Three days went by and the Doctors pronounce him dead, he was kept in a cold storage unit for twenty hours and he was buried. He remembered the Doctors saying he was dead and his sister was weeping at his bedside. When he was found he told his sister a voo-doo man raised him from his grave and took him to the sugar fields where he worked as a slave. His death was documented as a Narcisse’s incident. Most Haitians believe in zombies and not Narcissist.   

In Budapest, Japan the priests attempted to mummify themselves while they were still alive by starvation and then they would dry themselves out by candles. When they died their body was almost mummified. To complete the process they were placed in a tomb for three years and then dried out again by candles. In our culture I do not think that this is the Right of Passage, it is suicide.

          The Right of Passage in my opinion is not that you pass away, but how you are presented in death. If you believe in the mores of your culture you will be offered in a honorable way. If your beliefs are different, if you’re an outsider from society and do not believe in what the public thinks you have created a stigma for you and your family. The social consequence for you not believing in what the culture is, is  that your family is disgraced in the eyes of the public.  The passage is one that nobody denies, because death is the last thing you do on earth, it is literally inevitable.

          Bill Gallaher

Article 6 (Peer Pressure)

December 12, 2011

Beginning at birth and ending when we die, each and every one of us is affected by peer pressure.  Imagine if you will an ordinary funnel.  The funnel has two openings, the wide opening in which liquids are poured into the funnel and the small end in which liquids exit the funnel.  When we are born we are very similar to the liquid at the wide end of the funnel.  As a newborn or young baby we have no mental limitations, apprehensions, or any “real” knowledge of the world in which we live.  We learn through experience, trial and error.  In the beginning, peer pressure and discipline are extremely limited.  We cry and we get fed.  We cry and we are cleaned or burped.  Life is easy.  Fairly early in our existence we learn the word “no”.  Touching hot stoves is not an acceptable behavior and playing on the steps is also frowned upon.  Traits, that if learned teach us how to survive in this world.  It is at this point, if we are compared to the liquid in a funnel, we begin to fall into the cone a little further.  So, our first experience with peer pressure is received from our parents or guardians.  As our life progresses, we begin to experience peer pressure from different people and in different areas of our life.  We “act” like our friends want us to “act”.  Our teachers, coaches, advertisers and even society in general vie for our compliance.  Some of the pressure we accept and conform to and some of it we reject.  But, just like the liquid in the funnel, the longer we live or the closer we get to the bottom of the funnel the more restricted our decisions become.  Now, this restriction can be as tight as you let it become or it can be as loose as you wish.  By acting in an unconscious manner, by letting things just happen or just “going with the flow” you will find that most of your life is lived at the bottom, smaller end of the funnel.  All of your actions will be based on how you “feel” others will judge you.  But by living a purpose driven, action based life, always remembering to make your moments move you closer toward your goals you will be less affected by peer pressure. 

In my opinion, there are three distinct types of peer pressure. Good peer pressure, bad peer pressure and our belief system.  Each type can be broken down into smaller subsections, but for the purpose of this article we will deal with just the three groups.  The following examples are examples of good peer pressure.

  The pressure of being arrested for breaking the law, which society as a whole agrees on, can be a very powerful motivator in remaining an honest, law abiding citizen.  Not only will you lose your freedom when you are arrested but most newspapers will print your name in the daily paper informing your town of this arrest as well as what you were arrested for.  There are actually people who would rather be put in jail than have their name printed in the newspaper declaring their arrest.  This type of peer pressure helps keep society safe. 

Exercising in a group setting can also have a very positive affect on an individual.  No one wants to be the last person to cross the finish line.  I have seen people push themselves well past what they thought they were capable of just to not be the last one to complete the task at hand.  The same person, who completed a one mile run in nine minutes while running alone, may be able to complete the same run in eight minutes in a group setting.  This is the power or peer pressure. 

Now let’s really review bad peer pressure.  Bad peer pressure makes people feel restricted.  This type of behavior holds someone back from being the best they can be.  It can also make mankind act in very violent, negative, even self – destructive way.  Have you ever heard the phrase “gang mentality”?  Not getting too technical, the basis for this theory is simple.  In a group or gang, people will either not help another human or even commit violent acts against another human out of fear of not being accepted by their immediate peers.  Even though these same people know what they are doing is wrong, they will continue this violent behavior because they are afraid of the group.  This example can be considered one of the most severe forms of bad peer pressure.  One can be considered stuck in the smallest, most restricted part of the funnel.

Negative peer pressure can be placed on an individual from his close family and friends as well.  Even though these people are supposed to be your biggest supporters and fans, be careful who you trust.  I do not want to sound cynical but there really is no other way to put this.  I will say it again, “Be careful who you trust”.  Throughout life, I have observed very loving parents hold their children back because they, themselves, did not want to “let go”.  For example, I have heard parents tell their children, “Why do you want to move to that city, you can get a good job right here in our town”?  You see, as loving as parents are, they can have their own interests at heart.  They may not be able to “let go” even when the move may be better for their own offspring.  Or, instructing your child on what he or she should do in life based on “what society says they should do”.  Some examples of this would be; children have to go to college to get “good paying, professional” jobs, how about “You have to work with your father, he is going to give you the business when he retires”.   Learning from the above examples or the experiences you remembered while reading this article, realize that you cannot change the way others act.  Nor should you try to change their behavior.  Become conscious and change the way you act and begin to treat others with true support.  Consciously act with purpose toward what you want to become and not what others want you to become.  While reading an article in a “Muscle and Fitness” magazine “Volume 72, No. 12”, Matt Rooney who is a Corporate Executive, Writer, Speaker and Coach was quoted as saying “Everyone wants to have more money or be fit, but nobody wants to do more to become more”.   When you begin to “go after” your goals, when you begin to control your moments and when you act with passion you will be forced to deal effectively with bad peer pressure.  Remember Matt’s quote.  You see, as you change, progress and take control of your life you will be a vivid reminder to the 99 percenter that it is possible to change.  They will be forced to admit to themselves that they could have changed and that they just chose not to work harder they chose to settle, they elected to “stay with the herd”. 

Your belief system can have a positive effect or extremely negative effect on where you sit in the funnel.  Take a good look at your belief system to determine if the beliefs you hold true to your heart are actually correct.  Sometimes the claim is made that those who opposed Columbus thought the Earth was flat, but that wasn’t the case at all.  Even in ancient times sailors knew the Earth was round and scientists not only suspected it was a sphere, but they even estimated its size.  Also, make certain your beliefs support your goals.  For example, I was raised with the belief that everyone should own their house.  The theory behind this belief was that I should not pay a landlord.  The landlord would pay off his mortgage using my money and he would be the one that would get rich.  Besides, owning a home is the American dream.  Everyone I knew owned their home, so this belief became imbedded in me.  Years later, I did everything I could to purchase my home.  At the settlement table, I learned that I would be paying a monthly mortgage to the bank for the next 30 years.  This was okay because after 30 years of renting from the bank I would finally own the home. (Sorry for the sarcasm)  After settling into my home, it became very apparent that I had a lot less time to myself.  I had to make home repairs, do home maintenance, cut the grass, paint the walls, on and on and on…….Well, at least I owned my home.  After being in my home for about a year, I had good friend move to New York City.  He had a house warming party which I attended.  And, as usual, I started asking him some very pointed questions.  I wanted to know why he decided to rent an apartment and not purchase his own home.  Maybe I just wanted to “show off” because I owned my home or maybe I just wanted to educate myself about New York City but for whatever reason I continued to press my friend.  He explained that the rent was barely affordable in New York City but the purchase price of an apartment was “out of his league”.  Continuing, he said that he was not sure where he wanted to settle down and did not want to worry about the home market until he was more stable.  All good points, but I believe I was feeling a little “big headed”, and wanted to “show off” so I started showing him how he was basically “throwing his money away” paying a landlord.  If he purchased his own home he would be paying a mortgage, receive all the wonderful tax benefits mortgage interest provides and eventually own the house “free and clear”.  The American dream.  Well, my good friend decided to put me in my place.  He started to ask me how much I have paid in home repairs and home maintenance since I purchased my house.  He also questioned me as to how much time I now spend “working on the house” as opposed to exercising, writing or playing golf.  When something in his apartment breaks, he makes a phone call and it is repaired.  He does not spend an additional cent on the repair.  No time spent and no financial worry as he put it.  My head went down in defeat.  I was not upset with my friend, I was upset with myself.  You see, I did not examine my belief.  I just assumed I was taught the correct belief.  I was truly a product of my environment.  That is the way my parents were raised, that was the way everyone around me thought, and that is what they “passed on” to the next generation. 

Beliefs are the third and most persuasive section of peer pressure.  Really take some time and examine your beliefs.  Do you believe something that is in fact false?  Do not just accept what someone tells you, instills in you, or pressures you into believing.  Stay conscious of what you accept as a belief, because if you have the wrong beliefs you will end up stuck in the small part of the funnel.

In summary, do not allow others to dictate your action or motion toward your true desire.  Do not allow how you “feel” others will judge you stop you from taking action.  And as Matt Rooney so eloquently stated everyone wishes they had more, everyone wishes they were more physically fit, but not everyone wants to do more.  You may have to work hard, you may even trip or fail while chasing your goal.  Would you rather admit to yourself that you did not even have the courage to begin to work toward achieving your goals?  Or, would you rather give it everything you have and then fail.  You see, life is in fact a game.  I would rather be on the field playing the game. I would rather fumble the ball or strike out while at bat.  I do not want to be on the bench.  I do not want to be in the stands watching the game of life.  Now I ask you, WHERE DO YOU WANT TO BE, IN THE GAME OR ON THE BENCH?   

“Live and Train with Your Goal in Mind”

Mike

Some adults stay home,decorate with store bought or handmade crafts,decorate the inside or outside.Some peoplThey enjoy having the kids come to their doors and  happily say “Trick-Or-Treat!” and look at their costumes. The adults give the children candy,fruit,chips or another kind of treat for them to enjoy.

Some people do not enjoy the giving of treats or seeing the children’s costumes,so they turn out their porch light and don’t answer the knocks at the door.

The celebration of Halloween was started in Ireland,called Samhain(pronounced  ”sah-win”) .Samhain is the celebration of the ending of the harvest season in Gaelic culture. The scary costumes were started years ago to mimic evil monsters(if you believe in such things),but not Satan.

There are some people that say that Halloween represents All Saints Day.However All Saint’s Day is November 2nd,a separate day.

Have fun and peace this year at whatever you chose to do to celebrate or not celebrate,Halloween or Sahwin.

Feel invincible with clary sage! Sniffing the light and fruity scent of this essential oil triggers feelings of euphoria. Plus it may help spur production of mood boosting endorphins. Keep a hand lotion in your purse and smooth it on whenever you are facing a tough situation.

Increase calm by humming. Whether it is your favorite tune or just random sounds the softly hum for 60 seconds before entering a high pressure situation. Doing so is proven to activate the brain pleasure center and increase the number of relaxing alpha brain waves.

Prevent self doubt with a nod! Try steadying your nerves by nodding your head a few times and continue to nod periodically whenever pressure is mounting. This helps boost your belief in what you are saying and instantly increasing your self-assurance.

All text, descriptions, and pictures used here by Lee Ness are owned and copy written by Lee Ness and may not be used without the express written permission of Lee Ness!

Thank you for reading my article.                        

Have a wonderful day.

Lee Ness