There are so many people that inspire me: those who make me want to be the best that I can be, and then there are those that I can just talk with for hours about anything and be the happiest person on the planet! A simple thing by making sure I am always alright every second of the day, makes my life worth living for. Regarding a special friend, I am so grateful for her love towards me, and she may never know the impact that she has on me, and may never know how much she really means to me. I am so grateful to be worthy enough to be so close to her, and to have her in my life, no matter what the past has been like because now is when life matters most. Life matters most because she is in it, and she makes me feel loved and makes me feel like I have a purpose in my life and in her life…and part of that purpose is to always have her near and dear to my heart! Best Friends are forever, but Sisters are eternal…

I remember in school there was a couple that had gone out for about three years.  Suddenly the guy in the relationship left the school.  Almost immediately his girlfriend started going out with his best friend.  A lot of spectators believed that the girl was already cheating with the guy’s best friend before he left because they got together way too fast.  It was like they were already together before.

That pretty well infuriated me and I had very little to do with either of the people in the newly formed relationship.  In later years it seemed the girl had a slight crush on me.  I’m not saying she did, I’m just saying it seemed that way.  I did everything I could to stay away from her.  I wouldn’t want someone like that to date me because I would be afraid she’d be running behind my back with my friends. 

Apparently, in 1985 we had 3 friends in whom we can confide in. That was one year before I was born. So friendship appeared to hold more prominence and importance back then. How wonderful it is to have a friend. In Proverbs, a book of the Bible, it says “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” and that is so true.

The causes are many. There are more people today living in urbanized environments and to add to that, the working schedule and type of jobs we hold are such that it requires most of our time. What about those video games, Internet surfing, spending time like a zombie glued to the TV? When we do these things, we place more emphasis on these things rather than on relationships. On the people that are important to us. I’m sure that website that can, that video game can be paused, or that TV show can be watched later when it has a rerun.

I think we live in an impatient culture that says everything must come to us instantly. We are in that rat race and we can’t seem to tolerate things which causes us to wait. Though this is just one study and may only reveal one perspective of a reality, it is still alarming. I’m willing to change these priorities and place more importance in my relationships for sure, as they are the most important. The link to the study is located here.

The good news is that when we say goodbye to your circle of friends, it opens the door to new ones. The friends we have in our life, life that reflect our own. If you have lots of friends, and you get married and have children, you’re going to see some friends that will change. You may soon discover that one of his friends do not understand the new life, and you need to find new friends who do not. No need to abandon old friends, but you need to find living their lives as much as them.

In many ways, your circle of friends reflects who you are. If you look at his closest friends, you can learn a lot about yourself that they are. They are usually in the same job as you. This does not mean they have the same job as you, but may have positions that are similar to yours over a career. Usually have the same status as you do, and if you have children, you probably do too. Better yet, this circle of friends is like you, but also helps you grow.

There are other friends who have one too. This is a support program called the Circle of Friends of Autism. You may not want to think your child has this problem, but if they do, is one of the best things you can do for you and your child. You may find that you understand and what is happening, and can share information on the latest research and methods of support. This group really helps the children meet other children, but can be a great network for parents. Although this type of circle of friends is not what you ever imagined for yourself, you may end up being one of the best friends I ever had.

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In life we meet a lot of acquaintances and some of them we choose to have a deeper and more meaningful relationship. We become close friends and sometimes we decide to make it permanent and label him/her as our best friend.  It is in our nature that as we progress and grow older we tend to meet other people. Our interests, likes and dislikes also changes over time. Since each individual is unique, our best friend would also change in his/her ways that can annoy us. This is why we have multiple best friends. We have a lot of common interests that we cannot find all in just one person. When we move from one place to another we leave behind our best friend and acquire new best friends in another location. We often meet our new best friends in school, at work, in a club, gym, etc. It is not normal nor easy to end relationships with your best friends and this is why we chose to add more instead.

Some friends are more understanding than others. They don’t mind that you have other best friends and they are probably doing the same. Some are not that considerate and demand much of your time and attention. They do not like sharing their best friends with others. It may also mean that they are not fond of your other friends as you are. This is when a problem arises. That is why some best friends weigh more than others. Proximity and interest are important factors in the friendship. You most likely spend more time with friends who you are with you all the time like those you work with or those who live close to you.  

 I am one of those people who have multiple best friends. One is from childhood, one is from high school, one is a former neighbor, and another is a former colleague. All of whom I stay in touch with and have maintained a lasting and meaningful friendship for many years now. I still have a lot of years ahead of me so I know that I will still meet a few more future best friends. Others choose to have an exclusive limited circle of friends and not add more into that circle. Friends are more valuable than any material object which is why wealthy people without any friends may not be as rich as they seem to be.    

When you ask someone what is love? He says you can’t explain love, you have to feel it, because love is love. It’s a very romantic explanation that keeps authors and poets talking about love, it keeps girls dreaming of their prince and keeps the princes dreaming of sensual romantic sex. What a fairy tale!

If you want to think about love in a logical way you would distinguish two types of love: The love of your family – The love of your friend and your lover.

The love of your family: Why do you love your family? Well lets see first why animals love their families – We are humans, we are smarter, but deep down we have the same instincts. – Lets talks about chimpanzees, they make social relationships to stay safe from other animals, (alliance) why do they love their parents? because the parents are the one who took care of them, they feel safe with them, they don’t love them because they believe in love, no they “love” them   because they care of them and feed them and the parents are the  allies of the children against the enemy.

So why do parents “Love” their children? Because they are afraid of death, they are afraid of being alone against the enemy and they are afraid of not having any help when they need to. Having a baby means that you have someone to help you, to keep you secure, to amuse you and to be your successor when your dead. Having a successor is very important, when humans gave up on the idea of being immortals, they realized the true value of successors, having a successor is your only to be immortal, because having a baby who thinks like you, who feels like you, who is like you is your only chance to live forever, on earth at least, unless you are napoleon or newton or someone like these great people, if you are one of them you will be able to find your path to immortality with or without having a successor.

What about friendship? Your friend is your ally, he is the one you can trust, (I prefer to use the word “believe” in my book the word trust doesn’t exist, you can trust no one, but you can believe someone temporarily)

Your friend is the one who amuse you not because he “loves you” because you amuse him, he’s the one who helps you because you help him.

Your best friend is your closest ally, and your lover is your best friend whom you have sexual desires for, and the sexual desires are the one who ensure your immortality on earth because they encourage you to make sexual relationships to have a successor.

This is love, your lover is your best friend whom you have sexual desires to, if it’s not mutual love then your lover is the one whom you have sexual desires for and you believe that he could become your best friend.

Love dies with age, therefore old couples doesn’t love each other, they lost their sexual desires, they become best friends, they respect each other – best friends do respect one another because they are allies – but they are not lovers anymore.

Love doesn’t exist, the word “love” is an abbreviation for “best friends + sexual desire”. whether you still believe in love or not, I want you to remember that no matter who your friends are, no matter what your social relationships are and no matter who your God is, you live alone you die alone, your work on earth is the only thing that makes you immortal.

Some, after being hurt and betrayed too many times decide that from then on, they will be their own best friend. Does that mean that they have no more friends? No, but they have decided that no one will ever get too close to them to be able to do any serious damage at least for a period of time. They will keep a comfortable breathing space between themselves and others.

They have many pursuits and activities that they didn’t have time for before but now they will take the time and explore things that will bring them pleasure without having to worry about the happiness of someone else.

They now learn that there are many things that they can do by themselves. They don’t always need the company of someone else to enjoy an activity, at least not anyone special. They will befriend people along the way wherever they are or wherever they will go but once that activity is over, they will not pursue any close friendship with these people. They may meet again or they may not. They will leave that to fate and not to any effort on their part.

Is that necessarily bad? Not at all! They will become a stronger person, not needing to always have someone to tag along. They will develop their inner character more. There are people everywhere one goes and it’s not hard to make some conversation with strangers on hand. So, for the time being that’s the way it is!  

Not having any special close friends is not the end of the world. It is just trying something different for a while. You are your own person. You are in control. You are free to decide what you will do.

Being your own best friend may or may not be for you. But now at least you know that you have options. A different option but one nevertheless!

Other articles that may be of interest to you:

How to Make Friends

How to Make Real Friends and Keep Them for a Long Time

Why You Should Make Friends with Your Neighbors?

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With most people at primary school/elementary school they are frequently told that the up-coming days of high school are going to be hard. However as I think everyone discovered to their amazement, high school was nothing like what it was said out to be! In fact in my case I found high school a lot easier, as well as a lot less stressful than primary school! Although high school itself wasn’t the main problem for me it was the masses of homework I got so I was quite frustrated by that!

So anyway do you ever feel like people don’t like you as a person? Do you always wish that they would begin to love you for whom you are, and not for what you may act like? Well in most cases it’s just a fact of not fitting in with the crowd! In fact with most cases of unpopularity to a student, it’s because of the immense jealousy from others! I know this, because when I was at high school I saw this boy who was an absolute genius at crafts! He also did a money raising scheme which earned him in total about £2000 profits! I was actually amazed at this kid’s unpopularity, since he was so cleaver as well as talented but he did look a little bit weird… Plus that’s what I suppose most high school kids take into consideration these days! It’s nothing to do with the person’s personality, but more of a case of their looks/fitness which is making high school a less pleasurable experience by the day!

So what I’m trying to get at here is that to get some good quality friends at high school you need to find people who don’t consider your looks! Those people are what I call “jerks” and should be put through a course of seeing how by judging people by their looks can cause them to be considered bully’s! So here is a little list of things which you can do to get more friends at high school!

1. Be yourself and consider others feelings! Now with this one it may be a gradual process, but when you see someone maybe upset just calmly walk over to them and ask them softly what up with them. This will grant you a reputation of being a nice guy, with a big heart to share with the world! If you just walk past without saying anything you’ll be ignored for life! You must give to receive! However be cautious that the person might be quite sensitive at the present moment, so the best thing to do if they react badly is to slowly walk away then check on them again in 10-20 minutes time.
2. Be polite to others. Now this is a very important one, as if you’re not nice and polite to people they won’t be nice to you back will they? It’s like being beaten up by a bully, and then expected to act nice to them you don’t want to do you? So the best thing to do, is to ask people what they’re up to then maybe start a little conversation with them! Now if you come across well as a nice guy, people’s attitude towards you will change immediately!
3. When walking around school say hi to people! The best thing to do while at high school, is to say hi to people you recognise. This is because it means you’ll be taken as a nice person, and if you smile at them they might just smile back! That’s how you can tell who you want as friends or not, if they say hi back they’re worthy of you. If not still say hey to them, but don’t try to be major friends with them…
4. Be helpful! When you’re helpful to others around you, they’ll start to appreciate your presence around school. Plus when people discover how helpful you are to be around, they’ll start asking you to do small favours in return for them doing a big favour to you! This is what I call the favour exchange, as when you help someone else they help you back!
5. Be friendly all around! As I’ve said before, if you can come across as a really nice guy or girl of course you’ll be loved as you are! So when you make it a habit to be nice to people, you can expect to see others being a lot more friendly towards you and not abusive!
   

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Thank you for reading this article on high school friendship, and I hope you enjoyed reading it!

But the truth is that a lot of the time it’s your BF that is sleeping with your mate. I can not tell you how many people I know personally that has slept with their best friends mate.  Because of their privacy I won’t tell who they are, but it happens all the time.  I guess its a good thing for Jerry Springer!

After I seen my BF kissing my first husband I was devastated.  I couldn’t believe my eyes.  It wasn’t him that I was as disgusted with as I was with her.  I could almost expect it out of him, but I never would have believed that my best friend, through out all my school days, would hurt me like that.  I trusted her more than anyone in the world.  And there she was, kissing my man!  I never had another BF again.  I have friends that I visit with and hang out with, but none that I would trust with the intimate details of my life.

My second husband had a BF too.  He was at our house everyday.  The three of us hung out together like the The Three Musketeers for 19 years.  I never took any of his goggling eyes seriously until the end of my marriage.  Then it seemed that he knew just what to say when I was depressed, and why wouldn’t he?  He knew everything about our life. 

Then he started to tell tales about my husband like he was my confidant, betraying his friendship with my husband.  It still confuses me why someone would throw away a life time of friendship for a little fling.  But it happens everyday.  Can you trust your BF?

It seems like a distant dream now. Over all these years when we come to think of it we realize that everything seemed so reposeful and dreamy until life pulled the plug on our probability of being together. It was a phase when everything seemed to be new and warm and welcoming. First hug, first kiss, first guilt, first date, just everything that transformed you from a docile human being into a daring one. Everybody is hesitant when it comes to first kiss but that is the softest and the most passionate kiss you can ever recollect. Above all having kissed at that time meant having no principles at all. Life suddenly turns exciting and stimulating when we start challenging our own chastity laws.  Everything that seemed misguided and wrong now becomes the source of inspiration. Love seemed more like a drug. You needed it everyday to know how powerfully it could affect your existance. This was a phase when we learnt to talk to the stars and found sense in everything that’s silent, distant and beautiful, it was that stage of the life when you managed to write a romantic poem no matter how bad your grammar was, a time when parents rebuked us over multiplied figures of telephone bill, those tuitions which never existed yet harnessed our skills at lying and deceiving people, those nightouts which never helped us in combined studies but was way useful in multiple people conferencing over the phone,a time when blank calls used to be famous for freaking out parents and they felt the need to install a phone with a caller-id, when best friends used to be more than just an emotional support, they were partners in crime and rescued us from serious troubles at home because it was easier to pitch in their names anywhere and anytime conviniently, a time when little infatuations made a huge difference and we enlightened ourselves more on the opposite sex,  when basketball matches used to be the only time when you can legally stare a guy/girl without getting caught, a time when proposing a girl seemed to be the greatest feat in life and Archies Gallery was the only place (remotely), which could buy you all the happiness in the world.

There are thousand memories but all of them will grow stupid and lame with our age. We laugh at it, we mock it and we condemn it as foolish and mindless but we never forget our first love. In spite of innumerable compromises and emotional wreckages, that was the golden time of life that taught you a lot of things unconsciously. At least there were more people to hear us out than blabber all day long, at least someone made you feel stupid when he/she said you are stupid and made you feel beautiful when he/she said you are beautiful. At that stage we had two most important things at our expense and in our control-love and time and today we live in an era where 24 hours seems to be less.

This world around us is changing constantly, every second, and the more it changes the more I recuperate thinking how peaceful life would have been if I hadn’t grown old.

No wonder everyone wants to compare their past with the present because the “first-times” were naturally meaningful and genuine. Our day-to-day life has become like electricity- people tend to tread the path of low resistance. I believe we wouldn’t have been liable to commit mistakes if there were fewer options in the world because the intensity of our mistakes is directly proportional to our age. No wonder everyone wants to return to their childhood because the first mistakes were not mistakes really.