So if you and your partner wish to move in together and make it work then its probably a good idea to set some ground rules. Follow these rules and you should be living in perfect harmony.

Set up ground rules before moving in together – decide who will pay for what and who is doing what chores. Make sure you stick to that and don’t let it slide, otherwise the yelling will begin.

Be Romantic – Just because your living together doesn’t mean you could stop making an effort with each other. Its important to set aside some special time to be together as a couple as not as two people who are living under the same roof.

And last but not least – Don’t rush into it, get to really no each other first before you decide to live together. If you take that step too soon it could be what pulls you apart. If you really feel you want to live together stay over at each others houses a few nights a week and see  how that feels.

A Doctor that always interrupts you when you have a medical issue.

A doctor who is more concerned about his or her pay rather then one who is trying to help you.

A Doctor who bills Medicare, that is if you are on Medicare, or your insurance company for the wrong reasons.

A Doctor who tells you, “either you take this medication that I am prescribing for you or else you can’t see me any more. Now I am giving you this medication that………….”

Puts the medication over the  patient.

A Doctor who “Fires you,” Because you don’t see he or she often.

A Doctor who puts you on medication that doesn’t agree with you. You confront he or she about it and your Doctor simply doesn’t care about what it does to you.

Now, here are some examples for some good Doctors.

A Doctor who is willing to listen to you when you have something important to broach.

A Doctor who puts you over the medication.

A Doctor who puts you first you rather than caring about you paying his or her bill.

A Doctor who gives you frequent blood tests to see that your medications are agreeing well with your body chemistry.

A Doctor who doesn’t say, “Come on, I have other patients to see.” They make sure that your needs are completely met.

A Doctor who cares about you and your well being.

If you don’t like your particular Doctor, you can always switch to the right Doctor who fits your needs.

Thurgood-Marshall, first African-American U.S. Supreme Court Justice

How much do you know about the events and people who have shaped African-American history?

Test Your Knowledge with Daybreak Africa’s Trivia Contest

Today’s Question

Who is the first man in the history of the National Basketball Association (NBA) to score 30,000 points?  

Yesterday’s Question

Who is the first African-American Supreme Court Justice?   ANSWER:  Thurgood Marshall

How to Participate

Listen to Daybreak Africa on the radio or check here on the website.  Every day, Monday through Friday, we will ask our TRIVIA QUESTION OF THE DAY.

call us at +1 202-205-9942.  The winners will be selected from the correct answers received.  Listen to Daybreak Africa each morning to see if you’ve won.

While many Americans are familiar with black slavery in the South during the 19th Century and its role in igniting the nation’s great Civil War, less attention has been paid to the black experience in northern cities such as New York, where so-called “freedmen” lived.

Now, a new book, “Black Gotham,” by University of Maryland Professor Carla Peterson, shines a light on their remarkable stories.

Much of the history of black 19th-Century New York has been lost, in part because it was eclipsed in the popular imagination by the saga of southern slavery. Additionally, mostly-white academic historians minimized the contributions of African-Americans. And no comprehensive archive of black life existed until the 20th Century, when the Schomburg Center for Research in Black Culture was established.

Peterson’s ancestors were distinguished members of the city’s black elite and she felt theirs was a powerful story that needed to be told. She spent 11 years researching and writing her book.

John T. Consoli’Black Gotham’ author Carla Peterson

“Writing this book was very important to me,” says Peterson. “It was a journey of hard work, but also of love and passion.”

Led by free blacks such as clergyman Alexander Crummell, newspaper editor Charles Ray and businessman George Downing, members of New York’s black elite tried to establish themselves as full Americans, not merely as “Africans” or “coloreds” as black slaves had once been called and called themselves.

Like members of outsider groups before and since, this African-American elite considered education to be the key to full citizenship. They also embraced values of character and responsibility.

“A good, upright moral citizen, valuing temperance, a Protestant ethic of hard work, sobriety and all those kinds of inner values. Respectability then is the outward manifestation of character,” says Peterson. “It’s in your appearance, how you dress, how you comport yourself, especially when you’re out on the streets of New York, and especially with whites. No loud, boisterous behavior but being utterly respectable and respectful.”

‘Black Gotham’ explores the history and contributions of New York’s black elite during the 19th Century.

That didn’t mean the status quo went unchallenged. Peterson’s book describes salon-style meetings in the back of James McCune Smith’s pharmacy. Smith, who was one of antebellum New York’s most important black leaders, hosted lively debates about voting rights for blacks and the abolition of slavery.

Alliances with whites were often forged. And like white New Yorkers, many in “Black Gotham” also wanted to be rich – but success could be fleeting.

“You see black New Yorkers make tremendous gains and then lose. Gains in terms of entrepreneurship, finding a trade, finding a profession, setting down roots, buying property, and feeling they were at last becoming a genuine part of city life. They would refer to ‘color-phobia’ as ‘fast disappearing in our city.’ But then there would be a loss.”

Racial violence was also an issue. Peterson cites a riot in 1834, which began in a chapel where both black and white choirs were scheduled to rehearse at the same time.

“And the white choir went nuts. It was only a pretext, but a race riot broke out, and a lot of black property was damaged. Saint Philip’s Episcopal Church, which was the church of my family, was desecrated.”  

The Draft Riots of July 1863, during the height of the Civil War, were an especially low point in the history of black New York.  When President Abraham Lincoln instituted a military draft, many immigrants, especially the Irish, thought they were being asked to fight and perhaps to die in a war being waged for the benefit of blacks. Angry mobs set out to destroy the dwellings and businesses of the city’s prosperous African-Americans.

But there was also some goodwill between the races. Peterson’s great grandfather owned a pharmacy in a largely Irish neighborhood. He was known as a kind man who gave free medicine and clothes to the poor.

“So they came to see him as a pillar of the community. So at the time of the Draft Riots he was warned to leave. A group of white merchants in the area came to him and said ‘You’d better get out. Your pharmacy is going to be attacked.’ And he said, ‘As many men who are going to come and attack me, there will be as many who come to defend me.’ And that is exactly what happened. His Irish neighbors protected his pharmacy.”

Then as now, New York was an ethnic melting pot, and Peterson says many black New Yorkers saw themselves as citizens of the world. Her own ancestors had roots in England, Haiti, Jamaica, Venezuela, American Indian territory as well as Africa.

She points out that more than a century later, many American blacks still lack the educational and economic opportunities that the mainstream enjoys. But Peterson adds that she has been gratified to learn that many black groups are inspired by the struggles and incremental successes of 19th-Century “Black Gotham.”

Many processed food products today are sweetened with high fructose corn syrup.  But concerns that corn syrup might be contributing to obesity has led many food manufacturers to turn to organic brown rice syrup, believing it to be a healthier alternative to the high fructose corn syrup.  

Now, researchers say that brown rice syrup may be an unintended source of arsenic, a highly toxic metallic element that’s been shown to increase the risk of cancer when present in drinking water.

A researcher at the National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences at Dartmouth University in New Hampshire, Brian Jackson, says scientists were curious about the amount of arsenic in foods consumed by babies.

“Because of their low body weight, if they are exposed to arsenic, then they are exposed to a disproportionately high exposure rate on a high kilogram body weight basis,” Jackson said.

Jackson, who led the study, and colleagues randomly purchased more than a dozen baby formulas to test them for the presence of arsenic. He says almost all the formulas contained very low or trace amounts of arsenic, including those that had rice starch.

“And then I selected two other formulas that I found in a local supermarket, brought those back to the lab, tested them and they turned out to be 20 to 30 times higher than any of the other formulas that we tested. So when we get an anomalous result like that, we retested this and got the same results again.  And at that point I turned a jar around and looked at the label and the first ingredients in that label were organic brown rice syrup,” Jackson said.

Researchers found high levels of inorganic arsenic, the most toxic form, in soy based formula.

Jackson explains that growing rice needs a mineral in soil called silica.  But Jackson says arsenic is chemically a lot like silica, and the growing rice plant takes up both silica as well as arsenic, which is also in the ground. When the rice is fermented to make organic rice syrup, Jackson says the arsenic dissolves easily in the watery brew and becomes part of the syrup.

For this reason, Jackson urges parents to read the label on baby food products and to think twice before purchasing infant foods that contain organic rice syrup.

“I would recommend that.  Obviously the amount of arsenic –  it varies in rice depending upon the cultivar of rice, where the rice is grown — so you are going to get that same variation in brown rice syrups.  It’s true that rice as a grain takes up more arsenic than other grains,” Jackson said.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration issued a statement saying it is not aware of any baby formulas that contain organic brown rice syrup.  An agency spokeswoman said FDA regulators are studying aresenic in all rice and rice products and could issue recalls after the report is completed later this year.

An article on arsenic concentrations in baby food and other products is published in the journal Environmental Health Perspectives.

While a protest by religious leaders against last year’s botched presidential and legislative elections in the Democratic Republic of Congo has been quickly suppressed, U.S-based analysts and activists fear for the country’s future.

The Carter Center issued a statement deploring the suppression of a Thursday march in the Democratic Republic of Congo capital Kinshasa.

Priests and nuns were arrested by tear-gas wielding police, while several radio stations were reported shut down.

The march had been planned to reject results from last year’s vote, which protest organizers said in no way reflected reality or justice.

Mvemba Dizolele from the Johns Hopkins School of Advanced International Studies says unfortunately international powers brushed off major problems in the run-up to the still controversial 2011 vote. These included a rule change making it a one-round contest and faulty voter rolls.

“A lot of these issues were issues that we all had flagged before that come to now bite us. So at this moment, we have a crisis where the election results were proclaimed but you have (Mr.) Kabila claiming to be the winner, you also have (Mr.) Tshisekedi claiming to be the winner,” Dizolele said.

Congo’s electoral commission declared the incumbent President Kabila the winner with nearly 49 percent of the vote to Mr. Tshisekedi’s 32 percent.

But election observers reported gross violations from ballot stuffing and suspiciously high registration in pro-Kabila areas to polling stations being burned down and security forces tying people up and voting in their place in pro-Tshisekedi areas.

In the legislative elections, more than 300 results from a new 500-seat assembly are being contested in court.  

Pro-Kabila parties have been credited with winning 341 seats to 42 for Mr. Tshisekedi’s party.

Congo expert Jason Stearns from Yale University says a best case scenario of having a revote is being dismissed.

“If you talk to diplomats, if you talk to people in Kinshasa, they look at you as if you are in la-la land if you start talking like that,” Stearns said.

But Tony Gambino from the U.S.-based advocacy group Eastern Congo Initiative says if the fraudulent election results stand, he sees many possible doomsday scenarios.

“Congo could descend into a deeper humanitarian disaster, become unstable once again affecting all of Central Africa and beyond. Surely, we do not want to see this. That is what is at stake,” Gambino said.

Gambino also points out that the International Monetary Fund and World Bank contribute about half of Congo’s budget.

“Anyone who suggests that the West has no influence, that we cannot do anything, they are just blowing smoke. It is wrong,” Gambino said.

Gambino is calling for what he calls financial consequences from international banks and donors.

He also says upcoming provincial elections should be delayed so these can be better prepared.

The United States is Congo’s largest donor country, having contributed over $900 million over the past year.  

This week, a U.S. government statement said it was still closely monitoring the electoral process and that it was deeply concerned about multiple allegations of human rights abuses by Congolese security forces.

Vijay Nambiar, special adviser to the U.N. chief on Burma, made the appeal at the end of a five-day visit during which he met key figures including President Thein Sein and main opposition leader Aung San Suu Kyi.

A U.N. press release Friday praised the changes underway, saying they have “attained an unprecedented level of initiative.”

The statement added that health, education and job creation remain key responsibilities for both central and local authorities in order to empower people to participate fully in the country’s development and growth.

The announcement comes a day after prosecutors requested Mr. Wulff’s immunity be lifted so they could investigate whether he abused his position as governor of the state of Lower Saxony.

Wulff faces multiple allegations including allowing a film producer friend to pay for his bills from two hotel stays and accepting a large loan from a wealthy friend’s wife.

Chancellor Angela Merkel, who handpicked Mr. Wulff for the primarily ceremonial job in 2010, issued a short statement expressing what she said was ” deep regret” at the president’s resignation.

Chancellor Merkel says she wants to seek a consensus from main political parties on a new president.

She postponed a trip to Italy Friday, in anticipation of President Wulff’s resignation.

Someone told me once that she loved walking in the streets in the mornings and during work days!

“Sunbathing Mondays” is a Spanish film similar to the British version of The Full Monty. It may have few good gags to laugh, but it is, in fact,  a sad film when one leaves the cinema and thinks about it.

The main character fits well in the nowadays profile: Male (or female) fortyish something. Been made redundant. Got some compensation money, although, no money can compensate for having worked an amount of years for a company. Registered for the dole. Has probably a mortgage to pay up and a family to keep. He or she doesn’t want to give up nor to relinquish on the idea of  having a job again. When he or she calls on a temporary job agency, he or she always gets the same response: right! This is a good CV. We’ll call you up when there’s something where you can fit in the profile! He or she knows well what they mean by “fitting in the profile” They seem to be way too old for another job, but way too young to retire.

Not easy to get engrossed on a story at a time of the day when one used to be at work!

Employees have always hated Mondays as the weekend is finished and with it lazing about. It is time to get up early again, commute, walk in the workplace, sit at the desk to look to the computer. I have noticed that the people who moan about Mondays are usually office employees. It is perhaps because of the dullness of their work -typing letters or documents that aren’t related to them, except that it is their work to be done, answering telephones and stuff. I have seldom seen any other type of employees complaining so much about Mondays. They may be tired, perhaps, if they had to work at the weekend. They may even be bit sleepy, but I have seldom seen these sort of employees moaning about their Mondays.

Still retaining a job people may even think that those who have been made redundant and won’t have to rush on Monday morning,  they will be able to have a quiet breakfast. They will be able to sunbathe in a park or square while others are sitting in front of a computer typing away or coping with an ill tempered boss. 

However, nothing is what it looks like.

While this person sunbathes in a public square or park, worries are in its mind. He or she may even miss the chats in the staff canteen.

All goes fine while there’s a fresh account or while there’re still quite few months to go before the unemployment benefits expire. But what will it happen afterwards? Will she or he be able to keep the family, pay up the mortgage, rents or utility bills? Will she or he find another job to keep afloat again?

At first, one may be easy with expenditure, because one still has the compensation money  almost intact and there is the dole money coming through. But as the months go by, one starts cutting down on this or that.

It is drama under the warm sun rays and those who still have to get up early on Monday morning may cry out “Oh, what a great life of yours! Enjoy it while you can!” 

In the beginning of a relationship everything is always perfect. The person you are dating is perfect, everything they say and do is perfect. But what happens you realize they are not perfect, and at times can actually be quite irritating? Do you end the relationship or understand that you are not perfect either and I am sure you can be just as irritating?

It is only with time that true loves comes to be. You can not be with someone a month and honestly think you are in love with them. That is ridiculous! When you have been with someone for years and still miss them when they walk out the door, that is true love. When you have a disagreement, and even as much as you dislike them in that moment, you could not imagine being with anyone else. That is love. When y’all are at your lowest point in life, broke, unable to pay bills, struggling just to get what you need, and you can look at the other person and know that one day things will get better. That is love.

Love is not just something that happens, it is something that has to be worked at. It does not come easy. it takes a willingness to stick by someones side no matter how rough the road gets,and it will get rough at times. 

Those are the differences between lust and love, so if you read this and have to ask yourself “Do I really love the person I am with?” then chances are the answer is no. 

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http://socyberty.com/sexuality/sex-and-relationships-pt-3/

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