What bitterness is

Bitterness can better be seen as a spiritual poison and a means by which many get destroyed under its corrosive effects. It is the source of countless spiritual, emotional and physical problems in millions of lives today. It can be tricky to recognize bitterness because it’s not a symptom or visible on the surface like anger usually is. Many bitter people claim that they aren’t  angry or hateful persons, but that’s not what bitterness is all about. Bitterness is an underlying problem that doesn’t always manifest on the outside, but dwells in that person’s system, essentially, it is hidden.

Hidden bitterness

 Bitterness is like a root hidden in the soil under the surface. Few plants show off their root system, but if the plant didn’t have a root system it wouldn’t survive. A root’s job is not to manifest on the surface, but to brew under the surface and fuel things that are on the surface. In the same way, hidden bitterness is in a person’s soul. It is a hidden element that lies under the surface, and out of it springs up anger and other negative emotions against others and against the circumstances around them. People who have a root of bitterness find it easy to get upset over things that other’s are doing around them. It’s like a brewing fountain that lies beneath the surface, waiting to fuel something that is on the surface. Many women who have been raped for example, are kind and gentle and loving people, but inside they are bound up because of what was done to them many years ago. Just because they aren’t angry or outrageous individuals, does not mean they are free from the root of bitterness.

Link Between Hidden Bitterness and anger

Individuals who have hidden bitterness will often find it easy to become angry  over little things that go on around them. It is easy for them to look at the circumstances around them as the source of their problems, rather than seeing how they are handling those circumstances. Instead of letting it go by forgiving those who hurt them, they let it get to them, and it devours them alive.

How to deal with Hidden Bitterness and anger

The only way to deal with hidden bitterness is to cut it off at the roots and remove it from your soul. There is need to make a choice to release all hurt and bottled up feelings inside your systems, by forgiving and forgetting about those who hurt you. Make a complete “U” turn from those feelings of bitterness and forsake them and  instead, allow love to minister to your soul!

“It has finally happened. I have got back with my ex-girlfriend…

We are now going to get married.”

After years apart it has become apparent that we actually did love one another. Now, we feel it is time we made that love a full on commitment and are now making arrangements to tie the knot.

The relationship was in the past mixed with levels of good times and bad. People did their best to drive a wedge between us, whether through jealousy or because they wanted to see us both fail.

They almost succeeded in their plan.

But true love wins through and after the dust that was bitterness, anger and frustration had settled, we both had time to think.

It was after many years apart we knew our love had never truly died. But what kept us apart was constantly reminding the other of the bad times, instead of focusing on the good times.

People came and did their best to drive that wedge deeper into our hearts. They made up false allegations and pointed the finger. They even went as far as posting us both on dating sites, contacting people who knew us and tried to continue their sick scheme by ruining any faltering trust we both still had.

It almost worked. Arguments ensued, trust died and neither one of us believed the other. Our love was almost in bits.

But time allows you to think. As soon as we parted, we could focus on ourselves and what went wrong. We both had made mistakes. Even one of us had betrayed the other by chatting to other people on the internet.

Though for you to move on, you must learn to forgive. Forget is not an option. You never forget. But what we did was deal with our differences, realise we were both acting ridiculous and built up that trust again. 

It was hard work. But we got there simply because there was no denying we still loved each other. 

And whilst people and the past will always be around to remind us of past faults and failings, the fact we are united today and stronger than ever has made us realise that love does in fact conquer all.

You just have to believe. That is the hard part.

Taken from:

“A Man Who Loves One Woman. A Woman Who Loves Only One Man“.

It is quite obvious that these people are unhappy with themselves. Some are bitter because they are overweight or lonely. Some mother’s become bitter because they want to be in their children’s lives. It is so hard to deal with a person filled with bitter thoughts or moods. It makes me down right angry when a person like that causes havoc. Bitter people will play mind games and they are quite controlling. You must protect your self and family from these people and pray for them. I know many bitter people and they are sure no fun to be around. Limit your time with a bitter person so that it won’t rub off on you.

By Erika Whitmore

Copyright © 2012

You are one sick jerk… (Mother fucker,)

I mean,

WHO the hell do you think YOU are?!?

You ain’t so great

Don’t make me reiterate -

Or does your ass shit shooting stars?

Take a look at the facts-

‘Cause you ain’t no “spring chicken”

To be Sittin’ back,

Showin’ your sad butt crack

Actin’ like it’s “finger-lickin’”

I don’t recall last time you saw

The inside of a gym

And I’m sorry but

Is that your gut?

And you expect them to all be waif thin??

From where I sit

You gots to go

NO ONE wants you, son

So don’t pretend to condescend

‘Cause, your haggard ass is done.

The End

†

1. They can’t be you.

2. They envy something of/anything about you.

3. They can’t get/have what you get/have.

4. They think your life is better than theirs.

5. They can’t do what you do even if they try.

6. They can’t make you do what they want you to do.

7. They aren’t noticed as much as you do.

8. You have what they can never have.

9. You’re better than them.

It might be that you’re in a better place/situation in life than they are. Or you look awesome even if it seems you’re not doing much. Or you usually come out better than the rest even if you don’t want to.

10. You don’t notice them or pay attention to them without meaning to.

11. They feel undervalued even if they shouldn’t.

12. You hurt their feelings.

It doesn’t matter if you did it intentionally or not, they will still hate you anyway. 

13. They don’t understand you.

It may be that they’re afraid of you or simply idolize you or maybe even love you a certain way but since it’s not reciprocated the way they want it, it turns into something else entirely. That’s why they ruin you, irritate you or do all the nasty stuff to you. It’s either that or they think you’re pathetic. Either way hate is still kind of a strong word.

People hating on you isn’t something to be proud of. You don’t boast how much someone hates you just because you’re who you are. But of course that might be a defense mechanism.

So what have we learned from this list then? Should you change yourself for them to please them? Nothing can really please people nowadays aside from making them feel good.

Hate is a strong enough word. It is unpleasant. It is uncomfortable. It makes you wanna kill someone.

Why would you wanna hate someone? Is it because you feel insignificant? Stupid? Unloved? Wronged?

What exactly is your problem that it made you hate someone? Is it because you got hurt? Why did it hurt?

You do know that nobody’s perfect right? But everyone strives to be perfect to the detriment of others, which shouldn’t be the case. Heck i don’t even care about my grammar, using a foreign language is enough as long as i get the point across and am understood.

So what can i say about this? Well why don’t we all start doing what is right instead of hating people and putting them down just because we hate them. After all if it weren’t for them, you wouldn’t be where you are now. You may be bitter and still seek revenge but revenge is empty, as we have all witnessed in movies, TV shows, anime and the like. It only feels good at the beginning but then it makes you feel more rotten inside without you even noticing it.

Doing the right thing might be hard but it’s better. Use your hatred to make life better for you and everyone else without deliberately stepping on other people. You’re just going to make things worse than it is if you do. Learn from your pain. Use your pain and the hate that results from it to learn about who you are and how people react to you and turn things into something positive. Hate and pain will consume you if you let it, so don’t let it keep you from having a happy and positive life.

Pray. Laugh. Love. Live.

Enjoy life to the fullest and make the world a much better place for everyone. =)

Are you at risk of becoming unstable? YES, It is true that life can bring anyone down, even if you are strong willed, have High resilience , are emotionally nourished and economically comfortable. There are always risks when interacting with your life, which we must do to be eligible to have one; Rough Tides become Stronger. Rips and Crosscurrents intertwine and before you even realise it, your struggling , you are weak and life in an instant has spiralled to this point without even seeing it.

Amazingly you are not a different person, you are still the person you always were- just emotionally scared or even damaged; worn out, fed up, disillusioned, bitter, frustrated- what ever you would like to call it! So the common assumption we grow up with is we must just never let ourselves  become a loser- like those people- those who are caught in the Downward Spiraling Whirlpool of life. Yet all of these people were once just like you, avoiding the cracks in the Facade as to avoid becoming broken.

Its time to accept and acknowledge that Anyone can end up this way, in fact many of us will feel the beginnings of a Spiral downwards but have the ability to self correct, others have the ability to repress. There are times in life you find yourself thinking or doing things you never imagined you would do; but yet you are still the same person as you have always been on the inside, your life just encountered themes or situations that altered the way you viewed the world; changing direction to avoid the failure spiral. These real life situations never entered your dreams and plans for the Future, therefore unprepared and unable to cope.

I once felt I had found absolute true happiness! Over night it disappeared with no warning; life events just crushed me.  It was overwhelming as I had really worked so hard to make it through working, study, a young mother at 14, always having a baby to care for while looking for career options; Just once I felt like Id achieved what was expected; I felt I had earned the right to happiness as I had made something of myself in life; completed more of my goals than I ever knew I had in the beginning; I stayed true to what I said I would be, I came clean on all the mistakes I had made in life. I blamed no one for my mistakes or paths I chose and I tried to keep my life separate from my parents and siblings as to not shame them. Stubborn in my own right, I had always been determined to do things my way, ready to accept the family motto ‘you made your bed you lie in IT! and this is exactly the choice I made therefore that meant no Return. No matter what laying in that bed in tails; you made it, you own it, you deserve it.

A trash mouth conversation from a friend was all it took, it all come tumbling down. Almost 7 years this Christmas. I now have learnt so much about the world never evidently mentioned in my psychological studies alone.

A holistic psychoanalyst is the career path I chose; encompassing every aspect of the person, what the causes and the cures; there is not just one true answer and definitely not one true cause. An Individual approach to analysis and treatment is essential, but also the in-depth training of reality of failure and imperfect decisions through out the years it takes to find total self actualization.  I have suffered many horrific events in my life time, eventually the repression and attempts to remove them from my existence resulted in eventual break down; along with the breakdown came abandonment and loneliness. From the Ultimate high that we had reached where we had been trekking for so many long long years, to have it taken from beneath you in one day, never to come back exactly that way again.

Many more negative events occurred after the original whirlpool bringing to light the total ignorance I had for my own life although I was an expect at fixing everyone elses.  It is the pain of having been blind to the obvious, to not see what was in front of me, believing that peoples views toward would change. Instead they welcomed back the legend of the Street drawn daughter they once lost to the leer of the streets. They disowned me but still tried to control me and when I succeeded in my own right, they refused to see me; they were waiting for the day that were right and I become nothing because I had left.

The painful lessons I learned are evident in who I am now; seeing the real world from the shadows of loneliness guarantees you a more realistic view of the majority of people we consider normal Joe Blows..For these people I rose above all odds to make them proud; but it never ended. I was forever under their rule; fix their own mistakes by telling me to live life a different way; yet the advice was not wisdom but frustration; the need to control how events in others lives should be handled is a more selfish behaviour; not allowing someone to live the life they choose to live due to not concern but self-actualization through someone else’s life

I held out my hand to try and catch my family when they were falling; and held out my hand to loved ones for support. Instead I got rejected from both sides to find myself alone. If I chose to take the path people had laid for me with my children I had all the support I needed; if I did things my way It was the Highway for both me and the kids.

Seven years on and I have regrouped my stance on life; Bitterness and anger come and went often, sadness would occasionally slip itself in between; then other times I just wish I could give up. Instead Now i ponder the next phase of my life; remember the years just past; deduct my stance in the environment Ive created for myself and  determine areas in which may need attention or changing; then teach this lesson of mistakes to all who will listen.  Document all apparent failures that you feel have no good direction in their course in life; at the time you just felt like you were being drowned by the most evil of spirits; bringing you down blow after blow with no compassion or remorse; life changes dramatically and your paths have been removed and replaced with different ones; in a place much darker and dangerous. You can see no absolute good or reason in life that this experience could be helpful. Yet years from now pondering life at a higher level; open-mindedness find the positive effects it has had in the future; the direction leading to somewhere better than before. A wrong turn actually leading to the right one?

I do recommend just to briefly consider finding something good out of something that hurt you so bad; sometimes there is just not enough good to come from the horrific pain they suffered, to try and make this occur despite their pain it will destroy the emotions beyond return. This is an individual analysis as it will be the persons coping mechanisms and approach to healing that will determine the true course in which to head in understanding bad luck and devastation within a time of happiness. It is important that coping mechanisms are strong and monitored by yourself regularly. There are never any answers to why but there are patterns in behaviours that gives you some idea of the suffering that one person can cause if not treated for their problem. Awareness will help avoid and cope with these situations.

Basically it is time we teach people to become aware of their dangers and how to get in touch with their intuition and instincts. Teach the weak how to be strong, teach that the weak can be strong, as well as teach that the what sometimes may seem weak and quiet, can also be a seriously dangerous underneath . All is not always as it seems.

 The Contemplation Action Plan is the first ebook to guide you through some contemplation scenarios and then Action Plan to add a fresh pathway to make life more fulfilling. Understanding people and behaviours will arm you to be equipped with the necessary tools to assess a theme or situation accurately and then contemplate the best course of action based on your individual personality, coping mechanisms, emotional stability and environment. Being you are the only one that knows exactly what you can and can’t cope with; you can guide yourself through the channels and  work out your pathway as you go, twists and turns highly recommended and almost 100% guaranteed.

Email me for the First 2 weeks free. Dr.madamrose@gmail.com

Here are some steps to help you to learn how to forgive someone:

1. Allow yourself to heal as much time as you need to get through this difficult moment and come to terms with the events that took place. Pushing yourself into forgiving may cause you to have angry feelings of resentment towards this person. Keep a journal to write about how you feel about the situation that took place until you feel comfortable enough to move on.

2. How would you feel if someone were unable to forgive you despite the feelings of anger you shared with them. Remember that no one is perfect, including yourself.

3. Learn something from the situation. When someone has hurt you. Have the opportunity to learn lessons from the situations when helping people, you will learn and grow. Always focus on positive thoughts, Instead of focusing on negative thinking.

4. Don’t hold a grudge against someone. Indentify positive actions that will help you get through difficult times. Communicate with this person about the pain that he caused you.

5. Communicate with the person who hurt you. Let him know that you forgive him for the situation that took place. Do not argue with this person. When you learn to forgive, you go free. If you decide to maintain a relationship with this person, work things out and put the situation behind and move on.

6. Don’t bring it up again. After you have forgiven this person do not bring it up again, Don’t talk about it.

Mrs Whiston discovers that she has a secret admirer one Valentine’s Day when a present arrives for her. It is a single white silk stocking.  Mrs. Whiston knows whom it must be from, for she removed her stockings while flirting with a man at one of Mr. Whiston’s works parties, and presented them to the man. A set of new earrings accompanies the stocking.

Now, a few years later, one stocking has been returned, the man clearly wants to see her again.  Mrs. Whiston feels loved and desired, but she cruelly and impulsively teases her husband about the gifts. He, having bought her nothing by way of a Valentine present, gets very jealous.

Mrs. Whiston argues with him, telling him that she plans to leave him for the more romantic passionate admirer, at which point Whiston beats his wife severely in one of the most brutal attacks I’ve read about in such fiction. 

With his wife cowed and crying he tells her that she will never leave him, and to wipe such romantic notions from her mind. Mrs. Whiston resigns to her fate, trapped in her loveless marriage to a brute, and all hope of escape with a man of genuine affection has dissipated forever.

A sad, shocking story, which rings all too true about many relationships.

The full text of The White Stocking http://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks03/0301501h.html#C09

Arthur Chappell

The morning of the twenty fifth of February2010, started as usual,till my daughter -in-law came to the  bedroom door with the news,(for this I will change the names of the people involved) that Ted had hung himself early that morning, to say that I was shattered does not even cover the colidascope of emotions I went through in a matter of minutes,but the uppermost was the question “Why”. Why my child?Why that particular one? So many more came to mind. It was also the first question every one else asked that day and in the days to come. Because Ted and his family lived in another town (he left behind a wife and four children and one from a previous relationship) At the time I lived with my oldest son and his family,even though he suggested we all go in one vehicle, I really needed time to myself so opted to take my own car. The time   by myself helped me settle down and praying for God’s help to get me through gave me peace of mind. Still there is a whole gambit of emotions to deal with. After the first shock comes numbness every thing seems to go over ones head,and I found I just did what needed to be done like a robot. During the funeral and after the burial the why question still was uppermost in my mind.He was or appeared to be such a fun loving person,he had called me the weekend before and sounded  a little down over the relationship with his wife. They had gone through a bad patch two years before and he was very broken up that they had separated for a while . I figured he had, had depression at the time, that is such an insidious thing it just creeps up on one.Having succumb to it myself, and knowing at times I had considered taking a long walk off a short Pier a few times,feeling totally inadequate,thinking that if I was not around the family would get on better and would not notice my absence. However knowing that it was not in God’s plan for me, I did get medical help and counselling. I also had many people praying for me and my family. Therefore I had an idea how he might have been feeling at the time so I could not condemn him. Over the next twelve months all sorts of stuff came up,some made me angry,with his wife,and other things myself included,and with God because I knew he could have prevented it. I needed to keep going to God to help me forgive people otherwise Iwould have become bitter. On those events through out the year, like his birthday,children’s birthdays Christmas, and the twenty-fifth of each month, thoughts of him would come and of course so would the tears. Finally the year had gone the twenty-fifth of February was there. His wife had decided to put the unveiling off till this December she was talking of going to Australia with the children,having that in mind and knowing my youngest son was coming to visit we decided to go and visit my sons grave. I got a photo of him and painted some large stones to leave there in memory of him,I had also decided at the start of the year to let go of everything I could not do anything about and let God deal with it after all I only had my small part in the picture  and God could see the whole picture. Therefore why should I wind myself up it wouldn’t bring my son back and everyone has a choice,some choose to drink and drown out everything,others have other ways of getting over things.Going to the graveside with his father and our youngest son helped me to forgive, let go,and move on with life. Having his wife turn up with one of the children also helped. I do believe that all family’s who have suicides should get counselling. I found that having someone willing to listen to one helped sort out where everything is at. Where I live there  is a group called Growing through Grief its mainly for children. There are other agencies that help adults. The upshot is that nobody has to go through this life alone, God is always there and he provides people to help,to be there,to encourage,and give support. if the world seems like its falling apart there is always a better way than taking ones life. 

If you were or are heartbroken AND thinks that this entry will sympathize with you OR convince you what a jerk he or she really is for leaving a wonderful person like you OR lift your spirits up by saying that he or she will eventually realize how important you are to his or her life and come back running to your arms, FORGET IT. You are gravely mistaken.

You had given him or her, your all. You gave away your love, your time and your effort. You told him or her about your past knowing he or she will accept what has long gone before. You enjoyed the present together—each passing day you wanted to know what he or she was doing. Had he or she eaten? Was he or she feeling well? Had he or she rested? You envisioned you and him or her in the future. You imagined having a family with him or her. You showed him or her your good side so that he or she will know how unique you really are and how different you are from the rest of the world. You showed him or her your bad side knowing he or she will love you back no matter what and help you in changing for the better. You made promises you’ve never uttered before. You did special things for him or her. You responded to his or her favours without complaining. You had given him or her, your everything—perhaps even your virginity. And then *POOF*—you looked around and did not find him or her. You realized he or she has long removed his or her grip from your hands.

You are alone once again. And your world starts falling apart.

I may not and probably will never, know why he or she left you. Worse, you may not even know why he or she abandoned you. But I do know one thing. No matter how cliché this may read to you; but really, there is a reason for everything. If you do believe in God, then I’m pretty sure He does have a valid explanation for the separation to occur. Who knows? He may just have saved you from a supposed-to-be terrible future with the person whom we shall now call as your EX (Note: Capitalization and bolding was used for greater emphasis. It may not be registering to you yet so I’m here to help you shove it down your brain). But kidding aside, I know that being left broken is an uncomfortable feeling. Trust me, I definitely know. The Script claims that when a heart breaks, it doesn’t breakeven. And without doubt, I agree.

But if there’s one thing we should all be thankful for from being heartbroken, it is the hurting deep inside. Yes. It may sound harsh at first. But the fact that you felt hurt may most probably indicate that you have reached a level in which you have learned to give and keep nothing for yourself—one of the many criteria of true love. And I applaud you for that. After a break-up, many people will advise you (and trust me again on this one) that if ever you’ll love again, you have to keep a portion of love for yourself. They’ll say, “Give only 90%” or 85% or 73.24106% or any other number they can possibly think of. They’ll say, “Keep some so that if ever he or she leaves you, you’ll have a balance—a small portion to use to start all over.” I am NOT going to give you that advice. Because deep inside, I do believe that true love is not self-seeking. True love is not selfish. Giving only a portion of your love is a clear sign of self-centeredness—setting reservations, protecting yourself, not wanting to be hurt any longer. One thing I learned about love after everything that happened in my life is this: “Love was not placed in our hearts to stay because love is not genuine love until we give it all away.” Before, I was devastated to see myself with a hollow heart. But now, I thank God for allowing me to empty it because I can simply refill it from Him whose love is overflowing. And if ever I love again, I shall give my 100%.

You may be one of those who were left heartbroken that either dwell too much in the pain or too much in the bitterness. I cannot blame you. Because who am I to speak of such? We are all but just humans. However, I am hoping that sooner or later you will be able to move out of the emotional quicksand before it swallows you entirely. Dwelling too much in pain brings about perpetual sadness and hinders achievements, thus creating a dull future. But true love rejoices in the truth. Dwelling too much in bitterness brings about endless hatred and hinders maturity, thus prohibiting better relationships. But true love keeps no record of wrongs.

No matter which of the two you might have taken, I urge you to turn around and take a third path: “acceptance in rejection.” Although you may deem my phrase as paradoxical, it is the only road that can help you to look forward to life, progress and become a well-rounded individual. Notice that I did not use “to move on.” Because moving on is too overused and, in my opinion, somewhat resembles Mario or Luigi outplaying King Koopa in order to proceed to the next castle. Life is no Nintendo Game, Eminem says.

If I raised a glass to all singles in the previous blog entry, then allow me to raise two glasses for all those who were deserted by their old flames. It may not be obvious now, but sooner or later we will all realize the beauty of breakups; the significance of heartaches. Cheers to all those who were left standing alone at life’s crossroads. Cheers to all who were left heartbroken.

Credits to Google Images for the photographs

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

EK Encarnacion broke his heart more than once. Instead of dwelling in negative feelings, he diverts his attention into positive things such as writing entries for his blogs: <a href=”http://every-comedy-thing.tumblr.com/” target=”_blank”>Every-Comedy-Thing</a>, <a href=”http://culinary-coliseum.tumblr.com/” target=”_blank”>Culinary Coliseum</a>, <a href=”http://travelocities.tumblr.com/” target=”_blank”>Travelocities</a>, and <a href=”http://bygodsgrace.tumblr.com/” target=”_blank”>By God’s Grace</a>. His works are also posted along with great writers in the online hub, <a href=”http://www.thefilipinodiaspora.com/” target=”_blank”>The Filipino Diaspora</a>.