It is quite obvious that these people are unhappy with themselves. Some are bitter because they are overweight or lonely. Some mother’s become bitter because they want to be in their children’s lives. It is so hard to deal with a person filled with bitter thoughts or moods. It makes me down right angry when a person like that causes havoc. Bitter people will play mind games and they are quite controlling. You must protect your self and family from these people and pray for them. I know many bitter people and they are sure no fun to be around. Limit your time with a bitter person so that it won’t rub off on you.

By Erika Whitmore

Copyright © 2012

You are one sick jerk… (Mother fucker,)

I mean,

WHO the hell do you think YOU are?!?

You ain’t so great

Don’t make me reiterate -

Or does your ass shit shooting stars?

Take a look at the facts-

‘Cause you ain’t no “spring chicken”

To be Sittin’ back,

Showin’ your sad butt crack

Actin’ like it’s “finger-lickin’”

I don’t recall last time you saw

The inside of a gym

And I’m sorry but

Is that your gut?

And you expect them to all be waif thin??

From where I sit

You gots to go

NO ONE wants you, son

So don’t pretend to condescend

‘Cause, your haggard ass is done.

The End

†

1. They can’t be you.

2. They envy something of/anything about you.

3. They can’t get/have what you get/have.

4. They think your life is better than theirs.

5. They can’t do what you do even if they try.

6. They can’t make you do what they want you to do.

7. They aren’t noticed as much as you do.

8. You have what they can never have.

9. You’re better than them.

It might be that you’re in a better place/situation in life than they are. Or you look awesome even if it seems you’re not doing much. Or you usually come out better than the rest even if you don’t want to.

10. You don’t notice them or pay attention to them without meaning to.

11. They feel undervalued even if they shouldn’t.

12. You hurt their feelings.

It doesn’t matter if you did it intentionally or not, they will still hate you anyway. 

13. They don’t understand you.

It may be that they’re afraid of you or simply idolize you or maybe even love you a certain way but since it’s not reciprocated the way they want it, it turns into something else entirely. That’s why they ruin you, irritate you or do all the nasty stuff to you. It’s either that or they think you’re pathetic. Either way hate is still kind of a strong word.

People hating on you isn’t something to be proud of. You don’t boast how much someone hates you just because you’re who you are. But of course that might be a defense mechanism.

So what have we learned from this list then? Should you change yourself for them to please them? Nothing can really please people nowadays aside from making them feel good.

Hate is a strong enough word. It is unpleasant. It is uncomfortable. It makes you wanna kill someone.

Why would you wanna hate someone? Is it because you feel insignificant? Stupid? Unloved? Wronged?

What exactly is your problem that it made you hate someone? Is it because you got hurt? Why did it hurt?

You do know that nobody’s perfect right? But everyone strives to be perfect to the detriment of others, which shouldn’t be the case. Heck i don’t even care about my grammar, using a foreign language is enough as long as i get the point across and am understood.

So what can i say about this? Well why don’t we all start doing what is right instead of hating people and putting them down just because we hate them. After all if it weren’t for them, you wouldn’t be where you are now. You may be bitter and still seek revenge but revenge is empty, as we have all witnessed in movies, TV shows, anime and the like. It only feels good at the beginning but then it makes you feel more rotten inside without you even noticing it.

Doing the right thing might be hard but it’s better. Use your hatred to make life better for you and everyone else without deliberately stepping on other people. You’re just going to make things worse than it is if you do. Learn from your pain. Use your pain and the hate that results from it to learn about who you are and how people react to you and turn things into something positive. Hate and pain will consume you if you let it, so don’t let it keep you from having a happy and positive life.

Pray. Laugh. Love. Live.

Enjoy life to the fullest and make the world a much better place for everyone. =)

Are you at risk of becoming unstable? YES, It is true that life can bring anyone down, even if you are strong willed, have High resilience , are emotionally nourished and economically comfortable. There are always risks when interacting with your life, which we must do to be eligible to have one; Rough Tides become Stronger. Rips and Crosscurrents intertwine and before you even realise it, your struggling , you are weak and life in an instant has spiralled to this point without even seeing it.

Amazingly you are not a different person, you are still the person you always were- just emotionally scared or even damaged; worn out, fed up, disillusioned, bitter, frustrated- what ever you would like to call it! So the common assumption we grow up with is we must just never let ourselves  become a loser- like those people- those who are caught in the Downward Spiraling Whirlpool of life. Yet all of these people were once just like you, avoiding the cracks in the Facade as to avoid becoming broken.

Its time to accept and acknowledge that Anyone can end up this way, in fact many of us will feel the beginnings of a Spiral downwards but have the ability to self correct, others have the ability to repress. There are times in life you find yourself thinking or doing things you never imagined you would do; but yet you are still the same person as you have always been on the inside, your life just encountered themes or situations that altered the way you viewed the world; changing direction to avoid the failure spiral. These real life situations never entered your dreams and plans for the Future, therefore unprepared and unable to cope.

I once felt I had found absolute true happiness! Over night it disappeared with no warning; life events just crushed me.  It was overwhelming as I had really worked so hard to make it through working, study, a young mother at 14, always having a baby to care for while looking for career options; Just once I felt like Id achieved what was expected; I felt I had earned the right to happiness as I had made something of myself in life; completed more of my goals than I ever knew I had in the beginning; I stayed true to what I said I would be, I came clean on all the mistakes I had made in life. I blamed no one for my mistakes or paths I chose and I tried to keep my life separate from my parents and siblings as to not shame them. Stubborn in my own right, I had always been determined to do things my way, ready to accept the family motto ‘you made your bed you lie in IT! and this is exactly the choice I made therefore that meant no Return. No matter what laying in that bed in tails; you made it, you own it, you deserve it.

A trash mouth conversation from a friend was all it took, it all come tumbling down. Almost 7 years this Christmas. I now have learnt so much about the world never evidently mentioned in my psychological studies alone.

A holistic psychoanalyst is the career path I chose; encompassing every aspect of the person, what the causes and the cures; there is not just one true answer and definitely not one true cause. An Individual approach to analysis and treatment is essential, but also the in-depth training of reality of failure and imperfect decisions through out the years it takes to find total self actualization.  I have suffered many horrific events in my life time, eventually the repression and attempts to remove them from my existence resulted in eventual break down; along with the breakdown came abandonment and loneliness. From the Ultimate high that we had reached where we had been trekking for so many long long years, to have it taken from beneath you in one day, never to come back exactly that way again.

Many more negative events occurred after the original whirlpool bringing to light the total ignorance I had for my own life although I was an expect at fixing everyone elses.  It is the pain of having been blind to the obvious, to not see what was in front of me, believing that peoples views toward would change. Instead they welcomed back the legend of the Street drawn daughter they once lost to the leer of the streets. They disowned me but still tried to control me and when I succeeded in my own right, they refused to see me; they were waiting for the day that were right and I become nothing because I had left.

The painful lessons I learned are evident in who I am now; seeing the real world from the shadows of loneliness guarantees you a more realistic view of the majority of people we consider normal Joe Blows..For these people I rose above all odds to make them proud; but it never ended. I was forever under their rule; fix their own mistakes by telling me to live life a different way; yet the advice was not wisdom but frustration; the need to control how events in others lives should be handled is a more selfish behaviour; not allowing someone to live the life they choose to live due to not concern but self-actualization through someone else’s life

I held out my hand to try and catch my family when they were falling; and held out my hand to loved ones for support. Instead I got rejected from both sides to find myself alone. If I chose to take the path people had laid for me with my children I had all the support I needed; if I did things my way It was the Highway for both me and the kids.

Seven years on and I have regrouped my stance on life; Bitterness and anger come and went often, sadness would occasionally slip itself in between; then other times I just wish I could give up. Instead Now i ponder the next phase of my life; remember the years just past; deduct my stance in the environment Ive created for myself and  determine areas in which may need attention or changing; then teach this lesson of mistakes to all who will listen.  Document all apparent failures that you feel have no good direction in their course in life; at the time you just felt like you were being drowned by the most evil of spirits; bringing you down blow after blow with no compassion or remorse; life changes dramatically and your paths have been removed and replaced with different ones; in a place much darker and dangerous. You can see no absolute good or reason in life that this experience could be helpful. Yet years from now pondering life at a higher level; open-mindedness find the positive effects it has had in the future; the direction leading to somewhere better than before. A wrong turn actually leading to the right one?

I do recommend just to briefly consider finding something good out of something that hurt you so bad; sometimes there is just not enough good to come from the horrific pain they suffered, to try and make this occur despite their pain it will destroy the emotions beyond return. This is an individual analysis as it will be the persons coping mechanisms and approach to healing that will determine the true course in which to head in understanding bad luck and devastation within a time of happiness. It is important that coping mechanisms are strong and monitored by yourself regularly. There are never any answers to why but there are patterns in behaviours that gives you some idea of the suffering that one person can cause if not treated for their problem. Awareness will help avoid and cope with these situations.

Basically it is time we teach people to become aware of their dangers and how to get in touch with their intuition and instincts. Teach the weak how to be strong, teach that the weak can be strong, as well as teach that the what sometimes may seem weak and quiet, can also be a seriously dangerous underneath . All is not always as it seems.

 The Contemplation Action Plan is the first ebook to guide you through some contemplation scenarios and then Action Plan to add a fresh pathway to make life more fulfilling. Understanding people and behaviours will arm you to be equipped with the necessary tools to assess a theme or situation accurately and then contemplate the best course of action based on your individual personality, coping mechanisms, emotional stability and environment. Being you are the only one that knows exactly what you can and can’t cope with; you can guide yourself through the channels and  work out your pathway as you go, twists and turns highly recommended and almost 100% guaranteed.

Email me for the First 2 weeks free. Dr.madamrose@gmail.com

Here are some steps to help you to learn how to forgive someone:

1. Allow yourself to heal as much time as you need to get through this difficult moment and come to terms with the events that took place. Pushing yourself into forgiving may cause you to have angry feelings of resentment towards this person. Keep a journal to write about how you feel about the situation that took place until you feel comfortable enough to move on.

2. How would you feel if someone were unable to forgive you despite the feelings of anger you shared with them. Remember that no one is perfect, including yourself.

3. Learn something from the situation. When someone has hurt you. Have the opportunity to learn lessons from the situations when helping people, you will learn and grow. Always focus on positive thoughts, Instead of focusing on negative thinking.

4. Don’t hold a grudge against someone. Indentify positive actions that will help you get through difficult times. Communicate with this person about the pain that he caused you.

5. Communicate with the person who hurt you. Let him know that you forgive him for the situation that took place. Do not argue with this person. When you learn to forgive, you go free. If you decide to maintain a relationship with this person, work things out and put the situation behind and move on.

6. Don’t bring it up again. After you have forgiven this person do not bring it up again, Don’t talk about it.

Mrs Whiston discovers that she has a secret admirer one Valentine’s Day when a present arrives for her. It is a single white silk stocking.  Mrs. Whiston knows whom it must be from, for she removed her stockings while flirting with a man at one of Mr. Whiston’s works parties, and presented them to the man. A set of new earrings accompanies the stocking.

Now, a few years later, one stocking has been returned, the man clearly wants to see her again.  Mrs. Whiston feels loved and desired, but she cruelly and impulsively teases her husband about the gifts. He, having bought her nothing by way of a Valentine present, gets very jealous.

Mrs. Whiston argues with him, telling him that she plans to leave him for the more romantic passionate admirer, at which point Whiston beats his wife severely in one of the most brutal attacks I’ve read about in such fiction. 

With his wife cowed and crying he tells her that she will never leave him, and to wipe such romantic notions from her mind. Mrs. Whiston resigns to her fate, trapped in her loveless marriage to a brute, and all hope of escape with a man of genuine affection has dissipated forever.

A sad, shocking story, which rings all too true about many relationships.

The full text of The White Stocking http://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks03/0301501h.html#C09

Arthur Chappell

The morning of the twenty fifth of February2010, started as usual,till my daughter -in-law came to the  bedroom door with the news,(for this I will change the names of the people involved) that Ted had hung himself early that morning, to say that I was shattered does not even cover the colidascope of emotions I went through in a matter of minutes,but the uppermost was the question “Why”. Why my child?Why that particular one? So many more came to mind. It was also the first question every one else asked that day and in the days to come. Because Ted and his family lived in another town (he left behind a wife and four children and one from a previous relationship) At the time I lived with my oldest son and his family,even though he suggested we all go in one vehicle, I really needed time to myself so opted to take my own car. The time   by myself helped me settle down and praying for God’s help to get me through gave me peace of mind. Still there is a whole gambit of emotions to deal with. After the first shock comes numbness every thing seems to go over ones head,and I found I just did what needed to be done like a robot. During the funeral and after the burial the why question still was uppermost in my mind.He was or appeared to be such a fun loving person,he had called me the weekend before and sounded  a little down over the relationship with his wife. They had gone through a bad patch two years before and he was very broken up that they had separated for a while . I figured he had, had depression at the time, that is such an insidious thing it just creeps up on one.Having succumb to it myself, and knowing at times I had considered taking a long walk off a short Pier a few times,feeling totally inadequate,thinking that if I was not around the family would get on better and would not notice my absence. However knowing that it was not in God’s plan for me, I did get medical help and counselling. I also had many people praying for me and my family. Therefore I had an idea how he might have been feeling at the time so I could not condemn him. Over the next twelve months all sorts of stuff came up,some made me angry,with his wife,and other things myself included,and with God because I knew he could have prevented it. I needed to keep going to God to help me forgive people otherwise Iwould have become bitter. On those events through out the year, like his birthday,children’s birthdays Christmas, and the twenty-fifth of each month, thoughts of him would come and of course so would the tears. Finally the year had gone the twenty-fifth of February was there. His wife had decided to put the unveiling off till this December she was talking of going to Australia with the children,having that in mind and knowing my youngest son was coming to visit we decided to go and visit my sons grave. I got a photo of him and painted some large stones to leave there in memory of him,I had also decided at the start of the year to let go of everything I could not do anything about and let God deal with it after all I only had my small part in the picture  and God could see the whole picture. Therefore why should I wind myself up it wouldn’t bring my son back and everyone has a choice,some choose to drink and drown out everything,others have other ways of getting over things.Going to the graveside with his father and our youngest son helped me to forgive, let go,and move on with life. Having his wife turn up with one of the children also helped. I do believe that all family’s who have suicides should get counselling. I found that having someone willing to listen to one helped sort out where everything is at. Where I live there  is a group called Growing through Grief its mainly for children. There are other agencies that help adults. The upshot is that nobody has to go through this life alone, God is always there and he provides people to help,to be there,to encourage,and give support. if the world seems like its falling apart there is always a better way than taking ones life. 

If you were or are heartbroken AND thinks that this entry will sympathize with you OR convince you what a jerk he or she really is for leaving a wonderful person like you OR lift your spirits up by saying that he or she will eventually realize how important you are to his or her life and come back running to your arms, FORGET IT. You are gravely mistaken.

You had given him or her, your all. You gave away your love, your time and your effort. You told him or her about your past knowing he or she will accept what has long gone before. You enjoyed the present together—each passing day you wanted to know what he or she was doing. Had he or she eaten? Was he or she feeling well? Had he or she rested? You envisioned you and him or her in the future. You imagined having a family with him or her. You showed him or her your good side so that he or she will know how unique you really are and how different you are from the rest of the world. You showed him or her your bad side knowing he or she will love you back no matter what and help you in changing for the better. You made promises you’ve never uttered before. You did special things for him or her. You responded to his or her favours without complaining. You had given him or her, your everything—perhaps even your virginity. And then *POOF*—you looked around and did not find him or her. You realized he or she has long removed his or her grip from your hands.

You are alone once again. And your world starts falling apart.

I may not and probably will never, know why he or she left you. Worse, you may not even know why he or she abandoned you. But I do know one thing. No matter how cliché this may read to you; but really, there is a reason for everything. If you do believe in God, then I’m pretty sure He does have a valid explanation for the separation to occur. Who knows? He may just have saved you from a supposed-to-be terrible future with the person whom we shall now call as your EX (Note: Capitalization and bolding was used for greater emphasis. It may not be registering to you yet so I’m here to help you shove it down your brain). But kidding aside, I know that being left broken is an uncomfortable feeling. Trust me, I definitely know. The Script claims that when a heart breaks, it doesn’t breakeven. And without doubt, I agree.

But if there’s one thing we should all be thankful for from being heartbroken, it is the hurting deep inside. Yes. It may sound harsh at first. But the fact that you felt hurt may most probably indicate that you have reached a level in which you have learned to give and keep nothing for yourself—one of the many criteria of true love. And I applaud you for that. After a break-up, many people will advise you (and trust me again on this one) that if ever you’ll love again, you have to keep a portion of love for yourself. They’ll say, “Give only 90%” or 85% or 73.24106% or any other number they can possibly think of. They’ll say, “Keep some so that if ever he or she leaves you, you’ll have a balance—a small portion to use to start all over.” I am NOT going to give you that advice. Because deep inside, I do believe that true love is not self-seeking. True love is not selfish. Giving only a portion of your love is a clear sign of self-centeredness—setting reservations, protecting yourself, not wanting to be hurt any longer. One thing I learned about love after everything that happened in my life is this: “Love was not placed in our hearts to stay because love is not genuine love until we give it all away.” Before, I was devastated to see myself with a hollow heart. But now, I thank God for allowing me to empty it because I can simply refill it from Him whose love is overflowing. And if ever I love again, I shall give my 100%.

You may be one of those who were left heartbroken that either dwell too much in the pain or too much in the bitterness. I cannot blame you. Because who am I to speak of such? We are all but just humans. However, I am hoping that sooner or later you will be able to move out of the emotional quicksand before it swallows you entirely. Dwelling too much in pain brings about perpetual sadness and hinders achievements, thus creating a dull future. But true love rejoices in the truth. Dwelling too much in bitterness brings about endless hatred and hinders maturity, thus prohibiting better relationships. But true love keeps no record of wrongs.

No matter which of the two you might have taken, I urge you to turn around and take a third path: “acceptance in rejection.” Although you may deem my phrase as paradoxical, it is the only road that can help you to look forward to life, progress and become a well-rounded individual. Notice that I did not use “to move on.” Because moving on is too overused and, in my opinion, somewhat resembles Mario or Luigi outplaying King Koopa in order to proceed to the next castle. Life is no Nintendo Game, Eminem says.

If I raised a glass to all singles in the previous blog entry, then allow me to raise two glasses for all those who were deserted by their old flames. It may not be obvious now, but sooner or later we will all realize the beauty of breakups; the significance of heartaches. Cheers to all those who were left standing alone at life’s crossroads. Cheers to all who were left heartbroken.

Credits to Google Images for the photographs

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

EK Encarnacion broke his heart more than once. Instead of dwelling in negative feelings, he diverts his attention into positive things such as writing entries for his blogs: <a href=”http://every-comedy-thing.tumblr.com/” target=”_blank”>Every-Comedy-Thing</a>, <a href=”http://culinary-coliseum.tumblr.com/” target=”_blank”>Culinary Coliseum</a>, <a href=”http://travelocities.tumblr.com/” target=”_blank”>Travelocities</a>, and <a href=”http://bygodsgrace.tumblr.com/” target=”_blank”>By God’s Grace</a>. His works are also posted along with great writers in the online hub, <a href=”http://www.thefilipinodiaspora.com/” target=”_blank”>The Filipino Diaspora</a>.

 I was speechless when she said that. Even more so, I was hurt that any person could wish their own child to have hatred in their heart. That will destroy a person so why would a mother wish for her child to hate the person who’s given up their life to care for her.

 Besides that, hate is such a powerful thing. It’s so serious yet people use it like it’s nothing. You never really know the intensity and harshness of the word until you hear a child tell you “I hate you.” That is one of the most hurtful things for a mother to hear. Why are we so intent on teaching and showing hate rather than love?

 When I was a kid, I was taught to never hate. I said “I hate you” to my mother one time. And one time only. It hurt her feelings and I never said it again. I try not to even use the word now. I certainly don’t say I hate any person. I may dislike them but I don’t hate.

 What I’m getting at is, as adults, we have lived and learned. We know what hatred and bitterness causes. Why would we allow hatred to enter our children’s lives after knowing what we do about it?

 The kids know better than to use that word with me. I’ve taught them how powerful it is. I understand we all say things that we don’t mean and we can all be severely rude sometimes, but who in their right mind would want to instill hatred in their children’s lives? It’s too dangerous.

*Do you teach your child not to hate?  Do you think it’s important to teach them not to hate? *

I have been in the Nursing Profession for more than a decade and interacting with different people from all walks of life made me realize that no matter how good a person is, he or she  will always have what we call “The Bitter Side of Me.”

What does “The Bitter Side of Me” means? I guess some will say it is pretty self explanatory. Bitter , other than being one of the taste sensation, can also be perceived as disagreeable or unpleasant taste that makes almost everybody stop and refrain from having another bite of such food. I think it is funny that we tend to use a  word like  “Bitter”  to describe a person’s behavior in order to  soften the intensity or severity of a very unpleasant character. Perhaps society wants us to express our ideas and emotions in a manner that we should  actually try  to be discrete ;hence, preventing embarrassment  of  the person who displayed the unacceptable behavior. Society wants  us to  recognize  the fact that  nobody is perfect and that one person might  have said or did a mistake that can be unintentional and  might  have been triggered by certain  circumstances that happened in  that  person’s  life.

I thought it is strange to hate Birthday Parties but there is this man who does not want to celebrate his birthday at all. He even forgets his wife and children’s birthday. No matter how much his wife try to make him feel that a birthday is a special occasion and it needs to be celebrated, he will still ignore it. His wife got frustrated until she stopped celebrating this occasion as well. I have known this man for several years and he is a good father to his children. He is responsible and hardworking. He is faithful and loving to his wife. He is a good friend and thoughtful too and you will wonder how his bitterness about birthday party started? One day he finally told his wife and kids the reason why he never want to celebrate his birthday. When he was a teenager, he came home to a surprise birthday party for him by his parents. While almost everybody is having fun, one of his mother’s aunt told his father that he is hooked on drugs. To his father’s embarrassment about the news that he heard from a relative about his son, he beat him up in front of all the people who attended the birthday party. He had a broken nose and a broken heart because the sad truth is, he is not even using any drugs. He was framed up by someone in the family and his parents did not believe him when he was telling them the truth. This painful experience made him hate “Birthday Parties”. Even though he is already grown up and have a family of his own he can still remember that night, he said that his parents did not apologize to him and until now he is still waiting for their apology.

I know this one lady whom I worked with  for two to three years now. We are both  working on the same unit as a staff nurse. She is always helpful to other staff when she is the Charge Nurse. Her patients like her because she is hardworking. She takes her job seriously and I admire her for that. We had some misunderstandings  before, and that was when I was  the Charge Nurse  and she did  not agree  with my decision when I told her that she might need to take an extra patient because we are under staff. She made me feel like I don’t know what I am doing. She also  gave me a cold shoulder when one day I offered my help to one of her patients. I considered those things not a big deal and  I just let it  pass simply because at the  back of my mind, I always try to give somebody the so called “Benefit of the doubt”.  She might be  just  stressed out on something  that I don’t know about.  However one snowy day, I called her on the phone and try to  offer  her a ride since she live close by  to the hospital where we are working and also because our Nurse Manager said that the night shift nurses might  not be able to come in due to the bad weather. I did not realize that she got offended with my helpful gesture that when she arrived on our unit that evening, she was so furious and she is telling almost everybody in the break room that I always thought that I am ahead of  her and that I always think I am smarter than her. She did not realize that I was there in the corner of the break room resting. I approached her and asked if she is referring to me. She told me that she did not want to talk to me and that she don’t need my help.  Deep in my heart I felt bad. I never thought that she will take my offer of help  in a negative way . My only intention was to keep her safe because there was a blizzard that day. I tried to  explain to her what our Nurse Manager said earlier during the day and that is the possibility that  the night shift staff might not be able to come to work. This means that the dayshift nurses will have to stay for another day and  work for longer hours just like what happened to the nightshift staff the last snowy day last week.  No matter how I tried to explain to her the reason why I called her, she refused to listen and she reiterated that she  don’t need my help.  ”. I always thought that she was nice, but that day she showed me her own version of the “Bitter side of me”. What caused her to be bitter? I am not sure but there are so many things that crossed my mind. Like, did I offend her in the past that made her feel that way?

Is it our cultural difference? I remembered her telling me before that in their culture, children are very competitive and for the parents it is very important that their children is always ahead of the others in school. 

After that incident, I don’t feel like coming to work. I got scared of offering my help to others. I got confused about the idea of being helpful. I remember asking myself the question, “Is offering help right or wrong ?” .I always thought that in the healthcare profession where I belong, everybody should try their best to help one another. We were taught that we are all part of the healthcare team and the way I understand it, a team composed of more than one person. Neither one of us talk to each other the next time we saw each other at work. I evaded her presence the whole shift. We both stayed on the opposite side of the hallway.  I kept on thinking about my hurt feelings. I could not help but vent  my feelings to my  close friends. One of my friends told me that I should talk to her. I totally did not like that idea because I am afraid that she might say something that will just hurt me more.  Another friend told me to forget about the incident and just do my job when I am at work. So I said to myself she is right. I should mind my own business when I am at work.

Then I started asking myself some questions about my work place. Questions like; What if everybody at work refuse to help one another anymore?, What if the staff will avoid one another and will only interact during reporting which is at the beginning or the end of the shift? What if there will be no more friendly faces because everybody will try to ignore one another so they will not be oblige to help? I wonder how will our patients react if they see that their healthcare givers are trying to avoid each other? I don’t think it will be a healthy environment. So I came up to a conclusion that I cannot change how others think but I can surely change my own frame of mind. I know that it is wrong to be resentful and so I decided to change my perspective in a positive way. The incident opened my mind and this is how I become interested in discovering the truth about “Bitterness”. I am hoping that by studying such behavior, I will be able to help others understand and prevent themselves from developing  such a negative behavior. After all, I don’t think anybody ,not even a fruit,  would like to be labeled as “Bitter”.

I have read some articles and commentaries about “Bitterness”  and  I came to a conclusion that it was actually an outcome of one person’s unforgettable painful life experience or experiences. This painful experience is usually a situation where in that person is a  victim of another person’s bitterness. The individual was subjected to pain without having the ability to defend himself. It made him feel inferior and a failure. It made him feel unacceptable and undesirable. It made him feel worthless. The experience took his self esteem, love, hope , faith, dreams and sometimes reason for living. Such a painful experience or multiple experiences that filled his heart with  scars of depression, hostility and vengeance.  So bad of an experience that  it’s memories made the person internalize that situation until he can no longer contain  and such emotion eventually got projected to others who he see as somebody inferior to him.  

These painful memories we encounter in life,  is like a movie script. We are the actors. And just like any actors studying a script, it is our task to  visualize the every detail  of the story and  memorize the lines until we have the strength to put those words into action, and that is when the camera will start rolling in. The truth is no matter what is written in the script, it will stay the same. The script will always be the situation. It is actually the actor who will be there to give life to the story by playing the role of the character but it will be based on that actor’s own interpretation. The  best actor is the one who did a great deal of practicing his lines and actions to almost perfection. The more internalization, the more intense the expression of emotions. This means that the more we indulge our mind with these painful  experiences, the deeper it gets into our personality and the more we are likely to adapt  it to our daily life thus making the same mistakes over and over  or shall I say reenacting the same painful experience to others. So let us not forget that the  intensity  of the action still lies on the actors point of view .The bitterness is being passed on from one person to another. The only difference between each person is that they get to choose on how they will accept the situation . Will they pass it on and be culprit instead? It is  just sad to know how a beautiful and sweet creation of God can be ruined by others because they have experienced bad things in their past and so therefore, they want others to feel the same thing. Just  like a “Domino Effect Theory”. This theory implies that even a small change will cause a similar change nearby and will then continue to cause another similar change just like a falling row of dominoes that were standing on one end.

 ”I heard a teenager once conversing with his younger brother. The younger boy asked his big brother, “Why did you breakup with your girlfriend?” and the older boy answered, “ Why don’t you asked my ex-girlfriends why they dumped me? It’s my turn now.”

I was born and raised Catholic and as far as I can remember in my elementary years ,we have a subject called “Religion”. In this subject, children were taught that “ God created man in his own image,” in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them” Genesis 1:27(Whole Chapter). Because of this teaching, I have always believe that “Man” is created good. This truth is also written in 1Timothy 4:4 (Whole Chapter) which goes,  “For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving.”                                                                                                                     

Understanding is the key.  Ask yourself why is this person trying to hurt me? Once you understand their actions, then you can  prevent yourself from committing the same actions. We should actually feel sorry for the person who is trying to hurt our feelings because you and I both know that they might have or is actually experiencing a painful  experience in their life that they are trying to project this to others so they don’t feel alone in their misery. Don’t forget to have “Faith” for “the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.” Psalm 84:11 (Whole Chapter).  So, you should feel happy and proud of yourself instead, because you know the truth. The truth that whatever happens, you are in control of your life. No one can hurt you if you are doing the right thing. As I always tell my children, “ You can never go wrong if you are doing  things right .” So why chose to be full of bitter and defeat , when you can be full of values and be sweet.