This feature is inspired by a short heart-felt expression of concern a writer expressed about cyber-bullying. Josy Varghese’s feature can be seen here. http://webupon.com/web-talk/cyber-bullying-3/ My article started as a response to Josy’s, which I realized quickly, was too long for just putting in a comments box.

THE NATURE OF CYBER-BULLYING

Cyber-bullying is just an Internet version of bullying in the school, or work place. The difference is that the bully may not know or be known by his or her victims. They find a website, blog or social networking page and target an individual or group for sustained and controlled threatening, hostile, libellous behaviour with an aim to generating ridicule, fear, and distress. Cyber-bullying can often be related to bigotry and prejudice, being motivated by racism, sexism, homophobia, religious intolerance, etc. It may be casual or systematic.

A cyber-bully will often incite others to join in the ridicule and the intensifying hate campaign. Cyber-bullies often operate in gangs. Photos published online in all innocence, will be commented on in a very unflattering way, as the target is mocked as overweight, balding, ugly, lacking fashion sense, etc. A few people may join in and assume the bullying is just harmless fun.

A thrashing by a bully in a playground hurts, but at least it ends, even if bruises and black eyes take time to heal. Cyber-bullying can take on an edge of permanence and forever. A comment mocking someone, as effeminate will stay online indefinitely unless someone can have it deleted and blocked.

The adage that ‘sticks and stones can break bones but words can never hurt’ does not ring true. Words can devastate us, especially if rumours can be made to ridicule and harass us throughout cyberspace.

The victim may ignore the remarks or try to delete them from web pages where it is possible to do so, but the bully may well saturate the site with comments and threats so that keeping pace is difficult for the victim. The bully may even set up an independent blog specially to encourage people to mock the intended victim, and this will ridicule and malign everything the intended victim says and does.

While the victim may not know a cyber-bully, s/he (more often he) will probably know or have access to the identity of the victim, and disclose personal, private information about them. Lies will be told, private addresses and phone numbers will go public, and the victim’s lovers may become victims of the campaign themselves. The victims of cyber-bullying are often children and the bullies often children themselves. With schools adopting a zero tolerance attitude to physical bullying, its cyber-equivalent takes over, and instead of being seen by the classmates in the playground, the victim’s humiliation is seen by potentially the whole of cyberspace. Cyber-bullying can be used in chat-rooms, web site comment boxes, and social networking sites and increasingly by mobile phones.

Sometimes cyber-bullying and physical bullying can unite as in video footage of happy-slapping attacks going out on Youtube.

Victims of cyber-bullying can become very introspective loners, depressed and even suicidal. Self-esteem can really suffer when it seems as if the entire world is against you. The local bully in Basingstoke, England can gain support from a bully in Sudan or Australia. The victim can find that friends fail to take the threat to him or her seriously or avoid getting involved from fear of attracting similar attacks.

HOW TO RESIST THE CYBER-BULLIES

In the wider social groups, chat rooms and forums, friends should rally round to protect a friend from harassment, even if the victim doesn’t directly request it. Forum and chat-room moderators should track discussions and close down a bully’s account and block his / her IP addresses. Direct threats and incitements to racism, etc are criminal offences and should be reported to the police.

Sites like Facebook have the power to ban obvious bullies and many sites will let you block the people you dislike – friends should always rally to the support of the victim but often don’t. If possible see who else the bully writes to, and if he / she bullies them too.

The internet is not totally censorship free and bullies can be made to see that their hateful words can be deleted, blocked, banned or used to bring them before school authorities, teachers, head-masters, employers, the police, courts, etc.

The main thing to do if you suspect you are being cyber-bullied is to talk to someone about it, including parents and teachers. Log the evidence too. Keep copies of every insult, threat and defamation encountered.  Copy links to every website used in attacking you. Try to find clues as to the bully’s identity. See if the cyber-name used occurs in other forums or web pages. Does this individual or group bully others also beige? If so, try to unite with the other victims.

If outright threats of violence, crime, etc is made, report them to the police.

A number of anti-bullying groups exist who can advise you further. Don’t suffer alone or in silence. The Internet can be used to fight back and drive the bullies into the cyber-oblivion they so richly deserve. 

A useful link on Cyber-bullying advice – http://www.stopbullying.gov/topics/cyberbullying/

Arthur Chappell

 So the way to do anything you want to do is to listen to yourself, use your common sense, be persistant, and trust yourself. If you do these things you can accomplish anything you set out to do. Whether it is to have more friends, make your relationship better, or just advice for life in general. Everyone of us has the knowledge to do these things, no help recquired!

Recently I have been doing a lot of researches online and the one thing that continuously gets juicier and juicier is the rumors surrounding Beyonce’s baby bump.

When Beyonce first decided to debut her bump to the world, I was over excited because of the simple fact that Beyonce isn’t the type of female that I saw getting pregnant any time soon being that she is as huge as she is.

Beyonce can go anywhere and sell so I am happy with her music wise but; I am just really fed up with the non sense pertaining to her pregnancy.

*Beyonce has been pregnant to the online world for about 9 years now and now that she finally is with child; why are the fans, media, and tabloids really all over her hawking her?

When she wasn’t pregnant, everyone wanted her to be and now that she has come out and said it’s true, everyone is focused on her not being pregnant.

Blogs are even taking it to the extent that Beyonce may be faking her pregnancy to get someone else to have their baby and I am just like ‘Leave it alone already’.

*Check out the video as to why they are saying Beyonce isn’t pregnant…

I see why this may have gotten people upset because lying is lying but I am tired of the Blogs really giving updates about the situation. If you have 3 posts back to back revealing pictures with you own little theory, #GoOffline…Forever!

It’s just really annoying to hear or read about the same things constantly to the point that there isn’t any relevance to it yet so many people fall for clicking the crap and getting relevance to it.

Anyways, what do you all think? Please be sure to leave your comments and let me know what you think on this situation.

Thank you for reading and this concludes this #Grindosode!

And high on the wish-list has been surfing the Internet, the magical world of friends and the latest trends! I couldn’t have enough of it and those two hours were bliss. It went on for some time and I tried my hand at everything; I blogged, I registered at networking sites, googled myself crazy and drew satisfaction from my new savvy avatar.

One fine day my baby returned from school humming one of those rhymes we grew up on. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star… and God…how I sang along. Then came Ba-Ba Black Sheep, London Bridge, Humpty Dumpty, Old Mc Donald…and many sweet rhymes later I realized I’d forgotten that I was logged on!

As they say there’s a child in all of us and when it surfaces life is lived at it’s best and most innocent. It’s always a rejuvenating experience to be the kids we were and lose ourselves in the world free of cares and even technology. You need to try it to believe it.

That day I had the time of my life with my little daughter and it’ll be a cherished memory forever. Perhaps many times God pokes us from above and we need to poke back life to discover it’s simple delights. When such moments knock, we need to open up. Remember the time when you were working on a presentation with deadline hours away…and your favourite song playing from somewhere came upon you. You couldn’t help taking that nugget of time, forgot all else and just hummed along…beauty isn’t it?

Well, for every long sentence that we live a comma is round the corner. Stop awhile .

Surfing and blogging is still lovable but I don’t miss out on the chances to sing a nursery rhyme.

Browse the web:

As we go on to the twenty first Century, the internet has increasingly get element and parcel of our every day activities. Also those minimum technologically knowledgeable among us, most of the so named “baby boomers” cannot deny that they too are “connected” and uncover on their own online via a variety of various resources. One can use the industry broad web to get your original list of lawyers or as a supply for further details on those lawyers that possess made your list.

Heading online, you will uncover a number of handy Sites. The AILA’s (United states Immigration Lawyers Association) and Nolo Publication’s Sites are especially handy. Both the AILA and Nolo possess a “Come across an Immigration Law firms” characteristic and that, by only inputting your zip code, may locate a lawyer near you. Equally handy in making the appropriate option for an immigration lawyers is the immigration lawyers’s Website, if one is available. In fact, most law firms possess Sites using interactive showcases that enable one to e-mail in an immigration question. Take advantage of this convenient implies of access.

Ask close to:

Get recommendations from your friends, family, co-workers, or various attorneys. Nowadays, in particular in California, Texas, New York, and Florida jurisdictions using the greatest multi-cultural number of inhabitants in the united states hardly anyone has had no contact using another person who is aware of of an immigration lawyers. And most lawyers who practice in various regions of law are frequently great and dependable sources of referrals.

Devise a list or “swimming pool” of minimum five names, noting those in the “swimming pool” who possess been advisable over once. Once you conjure up a list of potential immigration lawyers, slender your research by investigating their credentials, including going online for any a lot more details.

Interview lawyers:

An additional handy way to slender your option is to meeting the immigration attorneys that made your original list. Amongst the foremost concerns in your mind must include:

¢ How accessible is the immigration lawyer?

¢ Was I capable to communicate using the lawyer or an assistant?

¢ Does the immigration lawyer charge a not itemized fee or an hourly rate?

¢ Are the injury lawyer lawyer’s percentages reasonable?

¢ How convenient is the immigration lawyer’s office location?

¢ Could an immigration lawyers or paralegal manage the immigration matter?

¢ How long has the immigration lawyer been in practice?

The answer to these and various concerns aimed at finding an strategy of an immigration lawyer’s experience, accessibility, reasonable fees, and commitment must prove handy in making your final option of an immigration lawyer.

The actions we typically consider to get better-informed people of products researching, investigating, and comparing are a similar actions that must help us in making the appropriate option as people of authorized solutions. Inquiring, surfing, and interviewing must all help to get the immigration lawyer who is merely appropriate for you.

Immigration lawyers Riverside package you very best immigration solutions for all your needs. To realize a lot more about our attorneys, one can generate a organic session using immigration lawyer Riverside.

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There are far too many people who believe that they can negotiate contracts and company deals having a handshake or verbal agreement. Nothing could be additional in the fact today. A company attorney will allow you know that the corporate world is full of hidden landmines waiting to trip you up.

You ought to identify exactly what your goals and ideas are previous to you try to find the most lawyer for your team. Think about what sort of company attorney is finest suited for your needs. Ideally, you happen to be in a position to find an experienced and very competent company lawyer who can double as each a defensive and offensive team player.

If you have any sort of company that must be handled in the boundaries in the land of you need to find a lawyer licensed by the land bar. This allows him to represent you and your interests in the state. Should you have to appear in court, initiate a lawsuit or be deposed your attorney are going to be with you at each step.

Every land has specific laws when it comes to company matters. You need to find the correct legal aid to answer many questions. Will you be better off forming an LLC, sole proprietorship, partnership or a corporation? A company finding a lawyer are going to be in a position to assist you to make the correct decision.

Unless you eat the time to seek a lawyer who can give you sound financial advice you are able to not realize the ability risks that your “simple” company venture may possibly entail. You would like the service of a company lawyer who is well versed in contracts, company structures, and tax matters. This person are going to be invaluable in helping you avoid the most common pitfalls.

Many businesses today will fail as a result of poor partnerships and non-workable agreements. When you make the effort to bring an attorney to the proceedings at the 1st stages you’ll find that your life becomes much easier. A skilled company lawyer will assist you to avoid poor decisions and poor agreements, that will remove many future problems.

Often folks call upon an attorney to aid them having a legal issue. These difficulties may be big or modest at the onset. Even an insignificant issue could suddenly become overwhelming without having correct legal help. This can be as soon as a very qualified company lawyer suddenly becomes a priceless asset.

You can find a lawyer in a position to handle all duties related to businesses, taxes, contracts along with other matters. The attorney fees must be discussed having a company lawyer during an initial appointment. This will give you a good understanding of what to expect previous to you sign an agreement.

Choosing a company lawyer is really a own decision. You will find a lawyer who is quite ready in various ways. You are able to ask a trusted acquaintance, check with professors at a law school, or ask the Bar Association for referrals. Doing certain that you just have qualified legal service are going to be a Key for ones company and professional success

I am sure by now that most online writers have come in contact with at least one “commenter” who has been unnecessarily nasty.  Usually, this person is someone who disagrees with your point of view. They are unable to disprove your opinion, so they attempt to make you feel foolish for having it. To do this, they resort to sarcasm and outright ridicule in an attempt to make you feel that they are right and you are wrong.  

They never use reason in their argument; for as I stated earlier, they have no basis for disputing your claim.  All they know is that they have a different opinion and, in their need to feel smarter and superior to others, they will go to battle with anyone who disagrees with them. It’s even better when they can get a group of others (who agree with them and are also incapable of using reason) to “pile on” and join in against you. This is the sort of behavior that we see occurring in many internet forums and blogs.

This cyber bullying is made easier by the fact that the posters can remain anonymous, hiding in their homes and taking potshots at innocent bystanders. I, for the life of me, cannot figure out what they get out of it. Except, perhaps, in their immense insecurity and lack of self-esteem, they need to feel better than someone else. It has been said that men despise other men that have qualities that they themselves lack.  So when the troll finds that someone is willing to voice their opinion or put their writing online for the whole world to see (something they generally don’t have the courage to do), they hunt for someone with whom they can argue and the ridicule begins.  

Here are a few quotes about those who use sarcasm and ridicule to put down others which I found posted on quotesdaddy.com by Mike E. Knezevich, Jr.  (http://www.quotesdaddy.com/user/Mindmovr/my_quotes/1)  

• Bullies are those pretending to have self-worth and self-esteem, but only through the humiliation, exploitation, or domination of others.
• Some people are sadly oblivious to the fact that knowing how to say something negative or sarcastic does not in any way equal knowing how to say something that is actually intelligent or useful.
• It is a common tragic irony that the loudest people with the least education or variety of life experiences are rarely the ones who are the smartest or most correct, yet they are more often the ones with the most unsolicited advice on how everything should be.

I say kudos to Mr. Knezevich! I couldn’t agree more.

©2011 – Andrea J. Shannon

Social media sites such as Facebook, Myspace, and Four Square are now used by most people for many different reasons. What ever your reason for using these sites, be smart about what you share with others. There are many hidden dangers that many people might not realize. Keep yourself and your children safe!

A lot of people put every single thing about them on their pages, including their address. Then they check in to different places, post what they are doing or where they are at, and of course post pictures of where they are. They do it without realizing the hidden dangers. If you post that you are going on a week long vacation and have your address on your page, that screams, “We are not home, so come rob us!” Needless to say, that is not smart! Instead, when you return home then you can tell everyone about the time you had and share pictures. Do not put your address on social media sites.

Think about your enemies or bullies. Listing your address, what you are doing, where you are, and who you are with can also put you at a greater risk of being bullied. Some people are just looking for ways to hurt people or bully others. If they have you on their list of people to fight, or do worse things to, posting these things is like giving them an open invitation! Violence is on the rise, so you need to stay safe. Some people would not think twice before pulling out a knife or a gun. A young girl who has posted that they are somewhere by themselves, can put them at risk of sexual predators, who are looking for young vulnerable girls to take advantage of. Keep yourself safe!

Violence and bullying is another great reason that you should not post how you feel or what you think about certain topics that you know is going to make people mad. If you are a racist or dislike people who are different from you, keep your feelings to yourself! Avoid using negative comments. Its sad but true, that just something as simple as voicing how you feel on Facebook can get you killed, but it is true. Some people are crazy and you do not want to make the wrong person mad at you. You could become the victim of a hate crime, racial war, gang violence attack, and more.

Avoid hurting other people’s feelings. No one likes the town bully! People have commited suicide over Facebook and Myspace. It can be hard to delete comments once you write them, so avoid saying something that you will regret later. We all get mad and say things we will later regret in a fit of anger or rage. If you do not mean it, and don’t care for people to read what you are writing days, weeks, and months later, do not write it! Let yourself calm down before you start running your mouth and saying what ever comes to mind.

Parents look at your childs pages and their friend’s lists. Even in small cities there are sexual predators out there. Explain to them that the picture you see of the cute boy that supposedly lives in the next town over, may really be a fifty year old pervert looking to rape or kill young girls. Explain to them that although there have been many successful instances of people finding dates or even getting married to someone they met online, that this is not the safest way to meet people. If you are going to meet someone from the internet, please meet them somewhere in public. Don’t let them pick you up from your house or go somewhere private unless you really know and can trust them. Keep yourself and your children safe. I know it makes kids mad, but I would rather have my kids mad at me then end up raped or dead. Talk to them about the dangers of social media.

Don’t lose your job because of Facebook and Myspace. Do not write I hate my job, my job blows, or my boss is a ______! Even if it is how you feel, do not write it! Is it really worth losing your job over? Also, if you are supposed to be home sick, do not check in to random locations or post pictures of you partying the night before! If you have a job where you can not be on Facebook during work, wait until you get off work to start posting things! There is a time and date that gets posted along with your comment and pictures. If you have a job at a nursing home, doctor’s office, or hospital, respect the patient’s rights, and avoid breaking HIPAA (patient confidentiality). You can not put pictures of your patients or write a post about your patients to be funny, without getting in trouble!

Do not post pictures of illegal activities! I have seen pictures of people smokingg drugs on their Face book & Myspace pages! This is stupid and could make the police decide to keep a close eye on you. If you do not have a designated driver, do not check in to the local bar on your social media page if you are drinking and driving! Inviting people to your party coming up this weekend could tell the police that this is a good place to set up road blocks!

Use special precautions if you work in a school, daycare, or around children. If you take care of other people’s children, the parents might be very upset if they continuously see pictures of you partying and being irresponsible, even if it is after the hours of when you take care of their children. Think about things and how it appears to others before you post something!

Identity theft has also become more common. The economy is down and people get desperate. This is why you do not list important information about yourself. Do not give out your passwords. Be safe when listing your birthday, credit card or bank information, social security number, full name, address, and more. It is a lot easier than most people realize to become a victim of identity theft. It happened to my husband not long ago, and we still do not have everything straightened out.

All of these instances are examples of why you should set your profile and pictures to private! There are security settings for a reason. If you are going to post pictures of yourself and your friends always drinking, doing something irresponsible, stupid, or illegal, lock your profile up so your boss, the police, and others do not see these things. Only add people to your friend’s list if you know them and trust them. Stay safe! Avoid unnecessary consequences.

Just about everyone is using some form of social media these days. It is a fun and free way to keep in touch with friends and family, find long lost friends and classmates, advertise your business to others who may not know about it, tell others about the party, sale, or event that you are about to have, get your band’s name out there, and many other reasons to use social media. But be careful, because there can be hidden dangers. Think before you post. Keep your important information off of the internet, like your address, where you are going to be, when you are not going to be home, and more. Think before you put the drunken pictures or pictures of you doing something stupid or illegal. Know who could be seeing these pictures and posts. And monitor what your children are doing online. Not everything should be shared or posted online!

The accessibility of the Internet has really turned the world into a global village. This also means that you and I are both being exposed to the masses of village idiots out there. Blogs and forums are giving all the unqualified people a platform to pollute others’ minds with their half-baked ideas and opinions. It is getting harder and harder to find credible sources online and the people who do know what they’re talking about are being overshadowed by the loud, proud and dumb crowd.

What many people fail to understand is that all while all opinions should be respected, it does not mean that they’re all true or even grounded in common sense. The herd mentality that many human beings fall victim to causes them to believe the opinions of their “role models” and peers. Examples would include how people flock to social networking sites to follow the lives and opinions of people who could hardly be described as positive contributing members of society. Maybe it would be scary to think that a trend of regarding stupidity as “cool” is emerging.

I remember observing something similar back in high school. The students hated those who outperformed them. They banded together and basked in mediocrity. The Internet is providing exactly the same conditions for spreading the stupidity and herd mentality. The social networks and blogs also show that people flock to those whom they regard as being like minded or representative of what they want to be. This is normal considering the dynamics of the web, but it also means that people are placing to much trust in people they’ve never met in person. The group leader’s opinions will rarely be questioned or tempered with common sense. A lot of people will simply believe something the opinion leader said, simply because they said it, so it has to be credible. Common sense wouldn’t be applied and even if it is and the questioning person voices concern, then they’ll probably be shot down by their close-minded peers.

The saddest thing about the Internet is that many people who use it have no idea how to distinguish trash from treasure. People want to feel like they belong to a group and will rather sacrifice common sense than losing esteem amongst their peers. Popularity trumps credibility it would seem.

The situation discussed above won’t apply to all users of the Internet. It would however apply to a substantial amount of them. Just think of your own field of expertise. How many times have you come across a website or blog where you can see that the author knows very little or nothing about your field of expertise?

In conclusion, we should all learn to use the Internet with a good degree of common sense. We need to develop the skills of sorting through the junk to find the jewels grounded in common sense.

I don’t have anything against further education; it’s just that I had such a crappy experience in high school that I didn’t want anything more to do with it. A mixture of bullying and not having the right teachers led to me wanting out and straight into work, and that’s what I did.

My inspiration

Around 7 years ago I encountered some personal issues that led to me feeling lost and depressed. Not sure who to talk to, or what about, I put pen to paper and wrote down my feelings. I found it very cathartic. The notes were mainly for my own help but when I showed them to my sister she found it really well put together (I found that writing in verse was a lot easier for some reason) so I carried on.

At first, when the feelings were still raw, I could write 2 or 3 pieces a day. But as the weeks and months passed, so too did my feelings of anger and frustration. It now felt like there was no reason to carry on writing, so I stopped. Many years passed and I eventually let more people read my work, but it was very old and not as relevant anymore. My work was praised for the way it was put together, especially as i had minimum GCSE grades, but nothing else was ever done about it.

The next stage

Fast forward to December 2010 and I have an interesting conversation with my best friend, who (in a nutshell) tells me that I should be doing something more with my life! Quite harsh words at first, but looking back, it was just the boost I needed. And once I had the wheels in motion, with some amazing backing from my loved ones, there was no stopping me. And on January 5th 2011 I had started college and was studying creative writing.

I have learned so much in such a short time, and am still learning daily. I have my own poetry up on Tumblr, I attend events in the UK and then review them for remotegoat.co.uk, and I have even had work published in my local newspaper The Dewsbury Reporter. All I needed was that push and it has got me doing things I would have never thought possible, especially with my academic background (and lack thereof) but to compensate that lack of education I have some amazing support. The support I get from my friends is beyond anything I could ever ask for, and if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be sat here right now typing away and sharing my story with you.

If you have a skill, but are keeping it to yourself, I urge you to change. Don’t hide it away. Share it with friends and family, put up a blog, anything. Let the world see your creativity, and who knows where it will take you.