Shy because of an imperfect body ,imperfect skin, unsuccessful relationships, low grades at school, low income and what not. The list of imperfections in our lives is too long and so is our will to overcome them. To compensate this we adapt to a mechanism of rage or introversion, either way we shy away from our knowledge, aptitude and to do something well. Even though, most of us are competent one way or the other but the primitive, age old shyness overcomes the talents pushing us into the darkness we feel comfortable with.

The fear of being degraded and humiliated stops the cognitive process, harming the thought process, halting creativity and budding desires of achieving higher goals in life. Our deep rooted insecurities and lack of self-confidence is a quagmire we can’t get out of. Our bitter experiences account for the major part of it, something  harsh happened in the past comes in our way every now and then, so we tend to shy out and retire to our shells, staying cocooned and being smaller than our true existence.

The only solution is not a 100% but still a something 40-50% achievable:

• Not everyone out there is judging you, if you are bullied or abused, it is a flaw in their character and not yours.
• Stop blaming yourself for a bad situation, you are not always the cause.
• Speak up more often than you do, stating out your thoughts might help others to bring out more of you than they normally see.
• Just remember they might be just as scared as you are to open up to them.
• Your body is not your ambition in life, keeping healthy both mentally and physically is.
• Failures are only ways to explore more, actually a learning process, success comes when you want it to, the key is to keep trying.
• Realise your true value, your worth is understated not by anyone else but you, the brightest of you is hidden within you.
• Being an introvert is being selfish, there might be something innovative about the way you think or you might be holding back a precious idea that can change the shape of the society we live in. Go ahead share it with others.
• Your brain is a treasure box with a lock and you have the key to it, let go off the past, future is welcoming you.
• Last but not the least, just remember there is no such thing as “superior” people. We are who we are defined by the ways we overcome our inhibitions.

As per body language the attraction has some significant signals. Once we feel attracted to some other person(s), we transmit some signals by our verbal, vocal, gestures, postures, movements of hands, face, head and leg.

Here we will be discussing the genuine attraction signals. The nonverbal signals of attraction are described below:

1. Pupil Dilation. If we meet someone, whom we like our pupils get dilated. This situation of eyes makes us more attractive to that object.

2. Breathing. If you get into a state of initial arousal, your breathing will go shallow and rapid. Hope you can remember the breathy look of Marilyn Monroe.

3. Voice. This is the effect of breathy approach and voice goes to lower tone. Sometimes the voice may turn little husky and it happens with men and women both.

4. Arching of Spine. Feeling attracted makes our spine more arched. Thereby the chest goes up and makes it more predominant. With this women offer a view of bottom mimicry and men emphasizes alpha strength.

5. Mate and Breed Rituals. With men, this means puffing out the chest and splaying the legs. In women it is hair tossing and smiling. Once you are attracted to someone, it is very difficult to hide smiling.

6. Blushing. Sexual attraction always produces blushing.

7. Eye Buzz. If you meet someone attractive, your instinctive desire will be to gaze and appraise. This gaze is generally a longer one than your normal one.

8. Grooming. If you find someone attractive, you will have a tendency to present you more better manner. This is a self grooming ritual which includes hair touching and checking dresses.

These all signals will inform your potential mate about your interest. At the same time, if you find anyone with all these (not necessarily all, a few will do) signals, watch up.

Reference:

James, Judi. (2009). The Body Language Rules. Illinois. Sourcebooks Inc.

Bright lips- One great thing about being pale is that you can pull off bright lipstick, which can look strange on other people.  A bright watermelon can look stunning with pale skin, but it’s important not to pair this with dark smokey eyes, or it can look clownish.

Smokey eyes and nude lips- One could argue that this look “washes out” pale people, but if you keep the smokey eyes on the lighter side, and make sure to use a light bronzer or blush, it could look quite nice.  This is another article on how to get the perfect smokey eye: http://socyberty.com/advice/smokey-eyes-for-dummies/

Classic pinup style- Think red lips and black winged eyeliner–this is a look made especially for pale skin!  it does carry an ‘alternative’ vibe, but if you’re okay with that, give it a go.  This is another article on how to find the perfect red lipstick for you: http://socyberty.com/advice/how-to-look-good-in-red-lipstick/

A few minutes and few steps are enough to get a natural make up that makes you look radiant. Even in a rush don’t forget to apply dark circles corrector, base makeup, powder, shadows,, mascara, blush and lipstick, all in seven steps.

1. Foundation:

Unifies your tone, and camouflages imperfections giving you brightness. Use one with a similar tone of your skin, which is capable of adapting to light. Some makeup stylist, to give more natural makeup, do not apply it across the face, but only in the less uniform skin.

2. Corrector dark circles:

Using this will erase signs of tiredness on your face. Choose a lighter shade than your base makeup and extend it in the dark interior angle of the eyes. Take care not apply it on  the small wrinkles contour of the eyes, because they will be more visible.

3. Powders:

They set the makeup, in addition to cover your skin with a matte texture. Always look for  translucent powder to eliminate shine and make your makeup last longer. Gives a slight tap on the neck to achieve the same tone in your face.

4. Shadow:

With a brush, apply a clear shadow on the eyelids  that gives brightness to your eyes. For day stand, soft tones such as pale pink, peach, beige are ideal. Apply an intense tone in the crease.

5. Mascara:

Apply a layer of brown or black mascara on your lashes to give liveliness and glow to your look with movements from within and upwards, paint the eyelashes with several layers so that they are well made up.

6. Lips:

In conclusion, outline your lips with a liner and enhance them with gloss, or if you prefer to do it with a clear tone of lipstick, althought fashion now is to use them super shiny and juicy.

7. Blush:

Blush always must look natural and with a childy halo, such as if you had been under the sun. Apply it on the highlight of your cheekbones and blur it toward the temples. It is important that you follow the color range that you applied in the eyes.

Complement your makeup and skin care line with an anti-blemishes with salicylic acid to combat oily skin and excess shine. Choose one that contains three steps. a correction to help eliminate impurities, make-up base to absorb the fat, control excess shine and leaves skin fresh, and a powder to give you a uniform tone. Products containing chamomile to prevent irritation are the most recommendable.

Changing the Topic

Changing the topic is an easy way to shift the conversation. There are a few ways to do this.

Asking a Question

An easy way to change the topic is to ask a question. Make sure the question makes the other person think about his or her response, or that it is a question that will give the other person a lot to talk about. Unless you’re prepared for it, don’t ask a question that will backfire and make the other person ask you something in return. You want to keep the focus on the other person. Try to make sure the question you’ll ask isn’t connected to the awkward topic in any way at all, or you could get back to where you just were. If the other person’s question, in fact, is about the uncomfortable topic, be sure to answer that question as best as possible before asking a new conversation-changing question. If you don’t answer and suddenly change the subject, the other person might get suspicious. Hopefully, your new question will get the focus off the previous topic.

Add Another Person

If you see someone you know, you can invite that person over to join your conversation. Why? To distract. With that other person, you could bring up a harmless, easy topic. The person you were talking to before might join in, if it’s a good topic (maybe school related). The new person won’t think that’s strange, getting an easy topic to talk about in the beginning of your conversation, and the person you were talking to before won’t think it’s weird that you’re helping the new person join in to talk with both of you.

If by some chance the new person can’t come to talk, use him as the new topic. If he’s someone you like, say, “He seems to be avoiding me… maybe he doesn’t like me!” Then maybe you could start talking about both of your crushes, or ways to get the guy to notice you. Or use school again. “He’s probably left for schoolwork. He is getting sort of bad grades and is off the basketball team right now.” That can let you talk about basketball, grades, or teachers and how they grade.

Even if the new person can’t join you to change the subject, he’ll still enable a change of topic if you use enough other topics to for discussion to avoid the awkward topic.

Ending the Conversation

If you just need to get out of the conversation, you can simply leave. Make up an excuse about having to go somewhere or meet someone. You can always use your parents as an excuse. For example, you can say you have to meet your parents for dinner or a family meeting. Make sure the reason you state for leaving the conversation doesn’t sound fake. For instance, if you say, “I have to pick up a book”, that doesn’t sound so urgent that you have to abruptly end your conversation. Instead, saying “Oh, that just made me realize that I have a big paper due tomorrow (or Monday), and I haven’t even started! I really need to get some research in at the library. I’m so sorry, but I really need to work, or else I’ll have less time to hang out on the weekends (or at a place) because of my school-crazy parents.” See the difference?

Cell Phones

Having a cell phone could be convenient. If by luck it rings right when you want to end the conversation, you could use that to your advantage. Remember that the person you were talking to can only hear your side of the phone conversation. When talking to the caller, sound very urgent, as if the phone call was an emergency. The caller may be confused, but ignore that. Then tell the person you were talking to that it is an emergency, and you really have to leave. Apologize continually as you’re leaving, and get an expression on your face that looks like you’re worried. Don’t be grinning from ear to ear as you’re leaving. I’m pretty sure the other person will realize you were lying. Also remember apologize to the caller for the confusion. A full explanation to the caller isn’t necessary, but you have to make sure he or she doesn’t get suspicious. Another phone tactic is to pretend your phone was on vibrate. Be sure to make the fake call sound as if there’s really someone on the other line by pausing between what you say.

Ending the Conversation

When you’re leaving the conversation, always say a form of “talk to you later” so the other person knows that you wanted to talk to them, but now isn’t a good time. For a successful leaving tactic, you have to try to make the excuse you used to for the get away maneuver believable. For example, if your excuse was that you promised your mom to play catch with your little brother while your mom was grocery shopping, go play catch with your little brother. If the person you left finds you chatting with other friends instead, you could lose your ability to be trusted.

So now you know how to get the focus off your mom’s extra pounds, or your ex looking cute today. Just simply use one of these tactics, and you’re on your way to a blush-free conversation.