First is, we have to be courageous. There are different reasons why we’re afraid of accepting the fact that we should be separated with that person we truly love. There are times that some of us are dependent on our partner, as if we are unable to continue living our life without him/her. But we should learn how to stand for ourselves. It’s better to be able to establish the boundaries about what we will and will not tolerate even after the marraige. So first things first, we have to be courageous enough to stand on our own feet, decide, and express what we feel and want.

Second thing is, we should be fair with our partner. Always think, how would we want to be treated if our partner decides to break up with us.. Will you feel better if your partner breaks up with you through a simple text message, email, or phone call? Surely, your partner deserves more than that, right? but always take into consideration the situation whenever you want to break up with him/her.

Third thing is, just like what we stated on the second point, we should always take into consideration the SITUATION if we want a face-to-face break up. We wouldn’t like to be in a setting where our safety will be in JEOPARDY, right?… Remember that whenever a person, a human being, tends to be emotional, specially when hurting, their logical level goes down, so down that they might forget what’s right from wrong.

Fourth thing we should always remember is to SPEAK TRUTHFULLY. We should talk honestly on why should the relationship end. Such as, were we treated improperly, were we verbally, or physically abused, or what have you.. Remember to stick to the Viewpoint statements.

Fifth and final thing we should consider is to Listen. There will always be two sides of the story, His/Her side and Your side.. You can’t just stick on your side without hearing your partner’s side because ou won’t have a grasp on what really happend in your relationship if you won’t do so. But always remember not to be manipulated by clever words. Listening doesn’t necessarily mean we should believe or be convinced, but rather, digest the words, and by that, you’ll see whether breaking up is inevitable or not.

In the end, we should always remember that what ever decision we make in every relationship, it’ll always lead us to another path.. so always analyze your decisions very well..and pray. Never forget to pray.

1. Doesn’t keep his plans with you: This should be pretty obvious but if it’s not – here you go.

2. Never asks you out in advance: You’re his last-minute go-to girl – or worse, a booty call. Who wants that?

3. Is still tight with all the girls he’s slept with – Do you really want to compete with other girls? Why do you know who all the girls that he has slept with are anyway? Do you like mental torture or what?

4. You only hear from him late at night: see number 2. And he can’t talk to you during the day? What, is he a vampire? Even Edward Cullen showed up during the day for Bella, sheesh.

5. Never wants to see you one on one: This should say it all. If you’re in a group, it’s not a date.

6. Is still living at home, with a bunch of roommates, or … you don’t know his living situation at all: He may have some problems with independence – or he just might be married.

7.  Gets mad when you don’t drop everything for him: He doesn’t drop everything for you or make plans in advance but you’re supposed to be available at a second’s notice? Narcissist, inconsiderate, lout… these are words that could describe this guy. And obviously he doesn’t expect you to have a life. Drop. Him.

8. It’s All About Him: He never stops talking about himself, and never asks about you. Pretty self-explanatory, but goes with number seven. Full blown Narcissist. You’ll never get any attention from this guy, your needs will go unmet. Run! Run! Run fast! Run far! Just run!

9. He “Negs” You: He gives you backhanded compliments to “attach” you to him. An example of a “neg” is “Your bangs do a great job of covering up your big forehead” or “Those nails look really good, you can’t even tell they’re fake”. A neg is designed to lower your self-esteem and make you want to get validation from the deliverer. Don’t fall for it! A well-delivered neg can make a girl forget about 1 through 8 just to get a little approval, if she’s feeling vulnerable enough. Turn it around on him. “I admire how you’ve been able to compensate for a low IQ with such an abrasive personality.”

You deserve to be treated well. You wouldn’t allow a friend to treat you poorly. Don’t let a guy do it just because he’s a guy. Better to dine alone than dine with a jerk who takes away your self-respect.

Breaking up with your girlfriend or boyfriend seems to be one of the hardest things to do. And not because it’s a tragic occurrence that’s going to end someone life (hopefully) but because you never know exactly how they are going to react.

Here are some things to avoid when doing so.

Never do it in a public place. I know you have illusions about them NOT making a scene because there’s a lot of people around. But they are going to make a scene regardless. So better it be in privacy where no one will whisper about you being an asshole then in public where the whole restaurant is going to be looking at you like the horses ass that you are.

Make sure there are no drinks near by. And especially make sure they aren’t holding one. There’s a good chance that said drink is going to end up all over your face and ruin your shirt depending of the contents of the drink.

Speaking of things in your face. It’s hard to avoid getting slapped. But there’s two ways to avoid it if you think they might slap you.
1: You can stand far enough away that their hand wont reach you. Or..
2: You can hold their hands while you talk.

Make sure the area you chose doesn’t have anything breakable close by. You don’t want your favorite “i heart dinosaurs” mug to get broken during a fit of rage. And especially don’t want it to get broken over your head. I’d take a slap to a glass any day.

Don’t ever NOT explain yourself. There’s a good chance that if you don’t explain why your dumping them your going to get a couple hundred calls followed by a couple hundred voice mails telling you that you guys can work it out.

NEVER say “I think we should see other people.” It means that most likely you already are in which case you might get the a slap in the face followed by some earsplitting yelling. And who wants that?

Don’t say that you think you two should take a break. “Taking a break” has too many meanings behind it and your just prolonging the inevitable.

If you plan to get rid of the person forever. Don’t say “The timing isn’t right maybe we can try again later.” Your giving them false hopes and they are going to assume you mean that you don’t want to date anyone. which means your going to get stalked and if they see you with someone else or stalk your facebook to see you talking sweet to someone else, chances are your going to have a very angry person to deal with.

All in all, the best way to break up with someone is to be brutally honest. It may hurt but they’ll respect that over the false hope and later anger that will come with it.

He doesn’t call when he says he will. He calls at the very last minute when he wants to see you. He shows no respect for the things that you say, the work that you do, the person that you are. And yet you love him. Let’s correct that. You “love” him. Because how can we love those that treat us as if we do not matter? How can we love a man who would take us for granted?

Everyone has rough spots, and it is true, love means getting through those together. But when a man is all rough spots, and nothing soft and tender, you need to get away from him.

The general rule for relationships is this:

“When it hurts you more than it feels good, end it.”

It is just that simple. Do you spend more time crying or fretting, or worrying perhaps about his fidelity or honesty, than you do having fun with him? If so, this is not a healthy relationship. You have got to get out, before it consumes you. Make no mistake – such a relationship will eventually end. The longer you prolong the inevitable, the harder on you it is going to be. You must start pulling away emotionally NOW. There is no time like the present to reclaim yourself.

1. Stop taking his calls. If he is still calling you – and not one of these louts who just “forgets” to call (who does that, unless they don’t care?) – do not under any circumstances take his call. Don’t decide, “Oh, I’ll just be breezy and make him jealous”. It will never work that way. You will not get the response you seek, you’ll be back in the “lovetrap”, and the only one to suffer from the whole thing will be, as always, YOU. If you must, call your phone provider and inquire about blocking his number (or numbers). If he shows up at your house, do not let him in. Tell him you are going to call the police for trespassing, and close and lock the door. After a minute, look to see if he is still there, and stand by the door and loudly say, “YES, OPERATOR, I HAVE A TRESPASSER ON MY PROPERTY, I CAN TELL YOU HIS NAME, CAN YOU SEND AN OFFICER OUT RIGHT AWAY TO…” Hopefully he will be gone by this time, but if he is not,  begin to ask for assistance. Answer the dispatcher’s questions honestly and openly, and get the police on their way. If the BF leaves, great. Still have the police come so you can fill out a police report. It may come in handy – you never know. If he does not leave, let the police arrive and deal with him. They will probably arrest him and you will have at least a few days to yourself to regroup.

2. Make a list of all his bad qualities. Sit down with a pen and paper and list everything you ever disliked, were turned of by, or hated about him. Be brutal. Then, being honest, write down what you liked. Compare the two. Realize that the bad outweighs the good. Then toss the list, put it out of your head, and go on to:

3. Distract yourself. If you are sitting around doing nothing but reminiscing about him, you will of course be moved to call him. But you must remind yourself that the longer you prolong this, the worse it will be, and feel. So why not start blogging? Learn to knit? Collect something? Take an adult improv class and get out of the house and meet new people! And if you aren’t ready for that, consider number 4:

4. Seek counseling. A good counselor will give you tools to use in the event that you are triggered into wanting him back. The trigger could be hearing your favorite song, seeing a commercial for a movie that the two of you saw together, a special phrase the two of you shared as an inside joke… just about anything can be a trigger and do something to remind you immediately after a break-up. A good counselor will give you a place to vent, help you understand how you became so easy to trigger, and can even analyze the relationship with you to help you figure out what parts were not healthy so you do not end up with another jerk, repeating the pattern. If you can’t afford counseling, look around in your area for a support group (even if it was just a relationship, you can still try a divorce support group if there are none for non-married breakups . A breakup is a breakup, after all!) Or talk with a wise and trusted friend. Just make sure the friend is available to talk and will not be inconvenienced by doing so. Leaning on our friends 24/7 is just as bad as being in an unhealthy, addictive relationship. Everyone, EVERYONE needs space and time to themselves. Even when they think they don’t. Sometimes, especially then.

5. Treat yourself. Give yourself a makeover. Get a new hairdo. Buy yourself flowers. Go to a cosmetics counter and get a free makeover by making a small purchase. If you can afford a new outfit, go for it. It’s time to raise your self-esteem back to what it was before you met this jerk. And finally:

6. Give it time. Know that it will take time to get over the creep, but every day will get better. If you refrain from calling him. If you end up giving in and picking up the phone, you are only prolonging the inevitable. And you will have to start from number 1 all over again. So, remember, whatever you do, DO NOT CALL HIM. Don’t give him the satisfaction. If anyone deserves to be satisfied, it’s YOU.

When you have completed this list, smile at yourself in the mirror. You did it! You have made a positive move in life by getting rid of an unhealthy relationship, and you did it for YOU. He may not be smart enough to know your value, but you are, and some other lucky guy will come along and know it, too! Hang in there for Mr. Right, not Mr. “Right Now”. True love – and just as important, RESPECT – is worth the wait.

1.                  Play the blame game.

If you attribute the blame for your problems to your partner (or to others), you do not grow personally.  Your relationship will become one-sided very quickly and it begins to destabilize. 

2.                  Always have an out.

Making sure you are vocal about how easily you can leave will eventually devalue not only your relationship but your partner’s opinion of you.  Eventually, he or she will say, “yes, please leave.”

3.                  Always have a blow up instead of a discussion.

Get mad at everything.  If you talk about an issue rationally you may shed light on the problem but if you get mad, it will escalate into something exponentially worse than it really is.

4.                  Rush into a relationship.

Give in to your basic instincts only and jump into a relationship without thinking about it.  Taking things slowly and thinking about your compatibility will only prolong your relationship, if you are intent on ruining it, don’t give it a second thought!

5.                  Don’t put the skeletons in the closet.

Rather than leave bad memories in the past, it is a far more effective way to trample a relationship if you keep bringing them out at every opportunity.  Talk about old fights, old partners, whatever shows that you can’t let go and can’t grow.

A relationship is always a choice: It always involves the freedom of two people. It could also involve the freedom of two people to end it. If the love was freely given and freely accepted, then a break-up could also be freely taken. Accepting the fact is a big step towards wholeness. A break-up is never aimed at hurting someone, it could be a means of loving that person properly… understanding that when you fight to keep the person you are in love with could involve violating that person’s freedom offers you the serenity to love by setting the person free. This could be hard to achieve because we often possess more than we love.

Respect yourself, do not lose your sanity! The end of a relationship isn’t the end of the world. If you may not learn to love and to treasure yourself you will definitely not love anyone else properly. A break-up doesn’t mean you are worthless, it could mean you are worth something higher than what you have always considered the only source of inspiration for you. You must have the guts to think this way and pick up the new dimension and the possibilities life offer you. You need to reconcile with yourself. You have no right to be bitter with yourself. It won’t help. You can also tolerate your mistakes especially past mistakes.

Be Positive! Hold back from blaming yourself. “It was all my fault”, “..I could have saved this relationship… if.” The thoughts of regret and blame could never heal an ailing heart, they only fester your wounds. You certainly loved in your way, following your nature, according to the gifts you are vested with. That was the best you could have given. That was the best you had and maybe the best your sense of freedom could allow.

Recognize the beauty of the relationship. No intercourse of two hearts could be so sterile as to leave them with nothing really positive. Beautiful memories are healthy stuff to carry around. Avoid thinking that the person you loved passionately didn’t love you enough. Recognize the relationship as a gift that had enlarged your heart and offered you the chance of sharing, of loving of growing. Putting the faults on the other person only embitters your heart making pardon and healing difficult.

Find Refuge in your own heart, re-learn to love yourself. Break-ups could be a call for you to learn to love yourself properly. You might have spent most of your time caring for your loved one while neglecting yourself. The break-up offers you the space where you can know yourself through creative solitude, listening to your hurts and your fears… It is time for you to let your own heart becomes its own parent. You can pamper yourself, you can do things you’d have loved to do which you couldn’t do because the relationship stood in the way.

Do not Rush! If you rush, you err. If you rush you may not penetrate the hidden import of the rupture and you may not adapt quickly. Within, you may feel the emptiness and the languor of losing someone so dear to you. Your heart will tell you that you still love that person, and of course you still do– if you rush, you won’t savor the fruits and the beauty of that relationship. Allow time to heal you. Remember the all time adage: “Time is a great nurse…” Rushing into another relationship may even make things worse because you may carry the hurts from your past relationship into a new one. Patience is an imprint of character that makes you heal and that ensures growth while you heal.

Rediscover the friendship and love of your family. You are never alone. No one is ever alone. You’ve got friends and family. It could also be time to let them take their role in housing your heart.

Whatever pain you may experience after a rupture in a relationship, it is important to know that the storm will pass, after the storm there is a calm. You will dance where you are weeping today after you have integrated all the lessons from your break-up.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is what I call the ‘Holiday Break-up.’  It serves several purposes for this type of guy.  One, he doesn’t feel obligated to buy you a Christmas gift, although, you have one under the tree for him.  He accepts his gift, without thinking twice about it.  His excuse is, well, ‘I thought you were mad at me.’  Duh.

Secondly, he is free to roam and hang out with his buds.  He doesn’t have to be bothered with you calling to ask with help putting up Christmas trees and decorations.  If you were to call, he more than likely wouldn’t answer, because he’s still playing the role.  Lastly, and what is very likely, he has met someone whom he decided deserved his money more.  He wanted to impress her with a big gift.  He shows up in January, because she got all that she wanted from him and has released him back into the wild.  I guess ‘what goes around comes around’ applies here.

If you have never ran into this type of guy, consider yourself blessed.  He is a smooth operator, at least in his own mind.  Don’t be fooled by him.  When he drags himself back into your life, make sure the ‘lock’ to your heart has been changed.  If you had bought him a gift, take it back or give it to the older gentleman down the street.  He deserves it much more.  And if he did it once and you forgave and let him back; next Christmas make sure you buy him something that you can enjoy.

And guys, don’t think that I am picking on you.  Personally, I have never heard of a woman doing this; only guys.  I just don’t think we women would break up at Christmas time; we want your attention and our gifts.  Well, it’s true.  And this guy really is an over-grown adolescent, because this is something that teenage boys learned to do.  But, I guess they had to learn it from somewhere.

But, ladies, if you have one of these guys in your life, I figure he’ll come a knocking on your door sometime around the end of next week.  I hope you have your mace and guard dogs ready for action.  What did Beyonce say? ‘don’t you ever for a second get to thinkin you’re Irreplaceable.’  In fact, he’ll be here in a minute.  Love it.  

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10 Ways to Know If He’s Married or Involved in a Relationship

10 Signs That You May Not be Over Your Ex-boyfriend

20 Ways a Man Can Ensure There Will NOT be a Second Date

That’s true. However is can be made harder when you don’t accept that it’s happening. When you know that your relationship is over, it’s natural to go through denial. No one wants to be dumped or to dump someone. That’s why some people stay together way past their relationship’s expiration date. 

Admit Your Relationship is Over

Don’t deny the writing on the wall. Even if you want to believe that one day you’ll be back together, you have to admit that your relationship, as it is right now, is over. You may want to hold out hope that you’ll get back together, but that’s not going to help get you through the tough times ahead, as you go through your break up.

Don’t Play the Blame Game

You’ll blame him, he’ll blame you. You’ll even blame yourself and your dog. It will be everybody’s fault. However it’s not really anybody’s fault. Your relationship is over because it’s time has passed. As people change and grow, sometimes the relationship does not grow with them. That’s nobody’s fault, that’s just life.

Understand that You’ll Need to Let Go

Letting go will be the hard part. This can only be done when your partner is no longer in your life. However you can prepare for this by making sure you’ve removed reminders of your relationship. Unfriend him on Facebook, unfollow him on Twitter, remove him from your Google+ circle and definitely delete him from your phone. Start reducing your communication with him. Find a friend to call to share your good news or chat about things. You’ll need to cut contact with him after the break up, so get started now.

End the Relationship Now

If your relationship is over, but it seems like he’s prolonging the process by not breaking up with you, you may need to do it yourself. Some men don’t like breaking up with women. So, instead of breaking up, they make the relationship so painful that the women leave on their own. In the worst case, these relationships can continue for months or years. If you feel like the relationship is over and the love is gone, don’t waste another minute of your life. End the relationship and start moving on.

Does any of this make breaking up easy? No.

Does it make you a little more prepared for the breakup? Possibly. There is no real way to prepare. Everyone will respond to a break up differently. The only thing you can do is take care of yourself, guard your emotions and do what’s best for you.

Take a step back and think about your relationship and how you felt before it say within your current relationship you begin to feel terrible about yourself, you lack confidence, and energy is depleting. Keep thinking are you also feeling unwanted, or afraid to say anything or afraid of him in general? Have you ever had a chance to talk about things and mutally agree on things or does he always do the deciding. Evualate how you feel about yourself do you feel as if your not worth anything? Consider has he ever intentionally isolated you or said anything degrading? That was the emotional and mental side of things to consider.

Now think has he ever hit you or does he do anything to you physically that harms you in any way shape or form? Does he take things from you like money or stop you from doing things you want to do like say going to your family. Has he ever punished you for something you can’t recall with a violent act. This is the physical side of things.

Things to consider before you even get into a relationship with someone intrests,values,religion,hobbies and consider how much he drinks and how many friends that are girls that he has. They might and could be possible relationships he is hiding.

If you  relieaze you are in a bad relationship you usually have three options one is to stay within it and it probably will get worse. The second option which you would have is get some help with your relationship and decide what to do from there. The final option is to leave the relationship and don’t look back at it as a regret just be happy your out of it.

If you’ve decided you want to break up with your boyfriend there’s some things you need to think about. The way you break up with him will determine not only how he feels, but also how you feel, in the end.

If you know that you treated your ex with respect when you broke up with him, it will help you get through your emotional healing process. While you have no control over how he handles the break up, you have complete control over your behavior.

The main thing to remember is that your break up should be done in person, in a private place so that your soon-to-be ex can hear the words from your mouth without embarrassment. Remember the “Golden Rule”.

Take the time to answer any questions he may have and be ready to explain your decision. It’s important not only to know why you want to break up, but also to be able to explain it without getting angry or starting an argument.

After the breakup, you’ll both need time. If you want to be friends, wait until both of you have healed, let go of the relationship and moved on. If you still want to be friends at that time, then you’d both be in a place where it won’t interfere with your current and future relationships.

There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to breaking up with your boyfriend. These tips will work for most relationships. If you’re in a long distance relationship you may not be able to meet in person. You may not be able to control your emotions when you talk to him. Remember all relationships are different, so you need to do what works for you.