My child is stubborn what can I do?

Stubbornness is a known phenomenon in the behavior of children and may occur for some time and then ends, and may continue to Adolescence.

Stubbornness does not appear in the first two years of the child, because he is totally relying on his mother in everything.

After the first two years and when the child begins to walk and speak.  Clashes begins between him and the parents especially if he heard the word (NO) a lot, Do not approach, do not touch, do not do, now his turn to prove to himself that he could rely on himself and that he has the right to try anything that interested him, even if the refusal was clear from the parents

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The most important reasons of child stubbornness:

_ Imitating the adults: the child may resort to trying to stubbornness, because he’s acting  like his mother or father when they insist to prevent him from something without even understanding why, prevent it without discussion.

_ The child’s desire and ability to assert himself.

_ Permanent intervention of parents and lack of flexibility in dealing with the child: Let the persuasion and debate be  the solution.

_ Independence: the child shows the stubbornness to prove to his mother that he rely on himself.

Is my child’s stubbornness natural: Yes, it is evidence of intellectual growth and his attempt to gain independence, give him some space and discuss things with him, even in a small age, always let him know why you’ve rejected something. He will respond with time and you will discover that your stubbornness alone is not the solution.

The best way to deal with the child in the case of continued stubbornness and doing something inappropriate you’ve warned him to do before:

 _ In the first step you have to be decisive, to show him that you do not accept this behavior from him and you want him to leave this behavior because its wrong.

_ The second step, if he did not stop, you must remind him that you did warned him  and remind him again why you don’t accept this behavior, and then tell him that if he didn’t  stop what he’s doing he will be punished.
_ Third, if he continues his stubbornness and do not care what you said before, at this stage he must be punished even if he rejected your punishment and starts to be angry or starts crying. He will try everything now to make you let him do what he want even if it was wrong.

The best punishment is to deprive the child of doing something he loves the most, watching TV, chocolate. It is important for you to know that it is wrong to start cursing or insulting him, this may increase more stubborn and may harm him psychologically in the long run.
The Key in dealing with the child stubbornness is to deal with the situation calmly but decisive at the same time.

Before you leave home, let your child know your expectations of him/her in a public place. The child should know that there are rules for behavior at home or in public and that they are expected to follow the rules. You should also let the child know of the consequences if the rules of behavior are broken.

Avoid bursting out at the child in public, when they behave rudely. Assure them that you will discipline them at home. It is important for children to know that being public does not mean that they will not get punished for bad behavior. When you get home talk to the child about their behavior and let them know how upset you were by their bad behavior in public. Be firm about it, when you get home, make sure that you get to apply the appropriate punishment for bad behavior.

Be in control when a child is rude in public, don’t be embarrassed to rebuke the child in public it is recommended and every knows that bad behavior in children should not be tolerated. It also depends on the age of the child, a 3 year old will not behave the same a s a 10 year old. You should the rules and expectations by the age.

You should teach your child how to behave well at home, so that when in public they will behave the same and you will not have to deal with rude behavior in public. This helps the child learn what is approved and what is not approved in behavior.

When the child behaves rudely in public, you should let them, know that what they have done can be tolerated and is a bad reflection on them. Children sometimes may not know it when they are behaving rudely, it is important for you to teach them all about rude behavior.

Find out from the child why they behaved rudely in public, maybe they had a good reason that led them to behaving rudely. Such as being provoked by other people, or they were verbally abused by other people. There must be a good reason that explains the behavior, unless your child is just bad mannered.

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With each generation comes new ways of thought, and this is especially true in the area of parenting and child rearing. In an attempt to incorporate the latest and most advanced medical and technical discoveries into improving the lives of our children, and ourselves, it would appear that we collectively as a society have opened an avenue to abuse of processes. This is perhaps no more apparent than the manner in which we choose to address behavioral issues in children and young adults. While it is wise to utilize scientific advancement to our greatest benefit, there is a fine line that distinguishes use from abuse, and unfortunately it is those with the weakest voice in society that are forced to endure the impact of poor parental choices.

In recent years there has become a staggering percentage of our children that are prescribed behavioral altering drugs, for any number of perceived issues. While it is certainly warranted and necessary in some instances, we need to question the validity of the quantity of medical professionals that embrace the treatment of temporary and minor behavioral issues in children by employing prescription medications. The inference that there is something amiss in the mental processes of a large amount of today’s children is disturbing, not in itself, but in the ease with which parents accept a diagnosis. It is the duty of a parent to protect their children’s best interests, not to leap to assumptions that may be presented by a total stranger, no matter how well educated that individual may be. To defer a life altering decision based solely upon the opinion of one medical professional is foolish and irresponsible.

In the place of prescribing pharmaceuticals to children, perhaps we as a culture need to re-examine our priorities, and place more emphasis on parenting skills. In the rush of modern living, we tend to aggressively attack one problem hopeful a of “quick fix”, and then dash onward to the next issue. Our problem resolution skills as parents need sharpening, and as a culture we need to relearn the skill of listening to our children when they present us with their personal dilemmas. Behavioral problems in children are in most instances not their problem, but ours as parents, and we need to put in the effort that is the earmark of a good parent to resolve them. Medicating masses of children today may temporarily relieve the circumstance, but what have we taught them in the process?