Latino Children Play Swing (Photo credit: epSos.de)

Today nowhere is safe for a child to be on his or her own. Predators are not only men who lurk in bushes and strike at night, but individuals who are sometimes family members, teachers, and people in positions of authority. While men are usually the ones who commit crimes against children, there are also women who use children for their sick and depraved needs.

Trust your instincts

The first thing you and your children have to know and be reminded of constantly, is that a predator is not necessarily someone who only breaks into your house in the middle of the night and steal your belongings and rape and murder the family, but could also be:

·                    that nice amiable delivery boy who regularly delivers your groceries and have seen your children,

·                    an uncle or grandfather or cousin who is familiar with your children,

·                    a neighbor who always is kind and friendly,

·                    a complete stranger who has now surfaced and spending a lot of time in the open playing with your kids, or

·                    someone who cuts lawns in the neighborhood and has now knocked on your door to start putting his plan into action.

Whether your children are boys or girls, they should all be talked to and told what to look out for. Most of all, they should trust their instinct. Instill in them the following mantra:

(a)                that they should not get into anyone’s vehicle, no matter how well they know the person; not even a family member can okay this except for the parents,

(b)               they should NOT go with an uncle or male relative to look for a missing animal, no matter how persuasive the relative is and how much the child trusts him,

(c)                they should immediately report their suspicions to their parents if a male person in authority at school has tried to get them to go with him,

(d)               Do NOT be charmed by any strangers who come to the house and ask you to come with them. Child molestors are liars and con artists. They want to build up a friendship with you so that they can become a regular fixture in the house before they strike.

(e)                Report any strange behavior that a babysitter exhibits. Is she inappropriate and makes you feel uncomfortable? 

(f)                 Listen to your child who may be trying to tell you something,

(g)                Do not send your five-year-old little girl to the nearby shop; children have been abducted right from their own beds,

(h)                Talk to your children all the time and remind them to be careful,

(i)                  Make sure that whoever picks up the kids after school arrives on time and that they should not get into anyone else’s vehicle,

(j)                 Tell your child not to sit on anyone’s lap,

(k)               Let your children hear from your own lips tell grandpa and grandma that no one goes for rides in anyone’s car unless you personally say it is okay,.

(l)                  Don’t accept sweets and gifts from anyone and tell your parents if you are being approached by someone in the family who makes you feel uncomfortable.

(m)              Trust your instincts about people you meet and never spend that quarter in your wallet your mother has given you to make a phone call if you are in danger.

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I’ve wanted to write this to you for months now, only because I really don’t think that I could stomach to face you in person.   You know who I am.  I am your texting friend’s wife.   You and my husband have completely turned my world upside down, and I am now living in hell.  I don’t blame you alone…it took the both of you to create this hell for me.  How long were you planning to keep your ”thing” going?  I pride myself on the fact that I wasn’t stupid.  For future reference for yourself, he has put me through this before and I knew I would be dealing with it again.  He’ll do it to you, too.  Do not think for a minute that you are different.   I just hadn’t planned on this happening around our 18th wedding anniversary.  I knew something was going on and yes, I snooped and caught you both red handed.  He didn’t seem to appreciate my snooping and finding out your name, your phone number and your address, but I really don’t care.  Somehow I was the bad guy because I found out.    ”P” continued to lie for you for weeks.  I guess that should make you feel good.   He denied it.  He told me at first it was a friendship, then he described it as an “inappropriate relationship”..kinda sounded like Bill Clinton, when he said it and we all know what he did.   When asked what you talked about…Life, is what he told me.  He said it never worked out for you two to become physical, but you went to lunch once.   I’m not sure that I buy that that was all it was/is.  He claims he hasn’t spoken to you since November 30, 2011.  That was 8 days after I confronted him with your phone number blowing up our phone bill with all the text messages.   8 days.   What happened in those 8 days?  He said he told you that I was uncomfortable with the relationship…me.   I wasn’t uncomfortable with it.  I was way beyond uncomfortable with it, yet he used me to end it with you.  I guess you  two were both ok with shitting on your spouses.  Oh, I’m sure I was made out to be the bitch from hell, which I am not.  I have been extremely patient through his ex-wives, ex-girlfriends, job losses which led to bankruptcy, not to mention his teenage son.  I’ve never complained about money issues, when I was about to pull my hair out,  had migraines from the stress, wondering how we would pay bills.  He never knew and still doesn’t know what it takes to pay bills.  I always handled it, so that he wouldn’t be stressed about it and raise his blood pressure to high heaven.  I took on all the responsibilty and this is my thank you.  (High blood pressure…make a mental note of that.  You’ll need to know how to take care of him down the road, if I decide to leave him.)

A few interesting kinda warped age facts about this relationship…You graduated from high school the year our youngest son was born.  There is as many years difference between you and my husband as there is between you and our oldest son.  Think you might’ve been a mid-life fling to see if he still had it???  Humm…

  The only reason I haven’t contacted you is because I know you have a son, just like I do, and I don’t want my son to know the hell that I’m in right now.  Nor, do I want your son to know what a low life he has for a mother.  They are the innocent victims who didn’t choose to have snakes for parents.  Your husband and I had a choice.   Yes, you are married, as well, yet you didn’t seem to have a problem doing this to your husband.  What does that say about you?  I have his phone number as well as yours, and haven’t contacted him because of the death of his father.  Yes, “W” I know alot about you.  I’ve told “P” that I probably know more about you than he does.  I’ve shown him things that are written about you online and he seemed shocked.  I’m certain there were lots of lies being exchanged between the two of you.  He lied to me …do you honestly think he was telling you the truth about him??  You are both lucky that I’m trying to handle this as gracefully as I can.  I pray alot for me, not the two of you, so much, but for our families who will be caught in the crossfire if you two choose to pursue the relationship you started, and say to hell with everybody else.  Selfish.  That’s what both of you are.  I didn’t ask for this, yet I have to deal with this.  I do not believe in divorce.  I never have, but I don’t believe in being a doormat either.  I have to decide if I want to stay in this marriage, or walk away.   Is it worth breaking up our home to make all the hurt  that you’ve caused go away?  You are a constant thought in my head.  You wrote online that if anyone wants to know anything about you to ask.  I’m convinced I know you “W” and the kind of person you are.   You are a lost person who claims to pray for people online.  Your poor husband doesn’t have a clue what you’ve done to him behind his back.  Do I tell him?  “P” doesn’t want anyone else to get hurt.  I guess it was ok to hurt me since I snooped.  I guess that’s my punishment for knowing exactly what he is and what you are.  

Do I want to know your side of it?  Probably not.  I wouldn’t believe anything you said or any excuse you gave me for continuing this for months.  So actually contacting you probably wouldn’t do me any good.  I just have to decide to give up on my marriage or keep on praying and stay…only to be here again with yet another woman.  Or it might be you again, down the road.  

I do hope that you see this someday.  Remember, I do know your address, email address, cell number, where you work….only the grace of God is keeping me from contacting you to confront the actual demon that is tearing my marriage apart.   In the meantime, I hope you find happiness in your marriage and stay out of mine.   

Better yet, invite your family to play catch or to join you on a walk. Talk about physical activity as an opportunity to take care of your body, rather than a punishment or a chore. Praise, reward and encourage activity. You might even set goals and have everyone track their activities and progress.

For many kids, biking to the playground and playing kickball in the backyard have given way to watching television, playing video games and spending hours online. But it’s never too late to get your child off the couch. Use these simple tips to give your child a lifelong appreciation for activities that strengthen his or her body.

Children and adolescents age 6 and older need at least an hour a day of physical activity. Most of the hour should be either moderate or vigorous aerobic activity. In addition, children should participate in muscle-strengthening and bone-strengthening activities at least three days a week. Many classic activities — such as playing on playground equipment and jumping rope — cover all the bases at once.

For many kids, organized sports are a great way to stay fit. But team sports or dance classes aren’t the only options. If your child is artistically inclined, take a nature hike to collect leaves and rocks for use in a collage. If your child likes to climb, head for the nearest jungle gym. If your child likes to read, walk or bike to a local library for a book. Or simply turn on your child’s favorite music and dance in the living room. Get creative as you search for activities your child enjoys.

Somewhere out there in this complicated world is someone or someones who think you are a great joy. Interacting with you brings them happiness and fills there hearts with joy. Just being in close proximity to you brings them happiness.

In my life there have been several people like the one I described above. Her beautiful brown eyes and her shinny bright smile would fill my heart with joy. We did not have to talk. I just enjoyed being in her presence.

I am writing this article to answer the question of those in psychological distress of “why should I bother”. I know that when we are experiencing distress we tend to be isolated and only think of ourselves.

However, stop and think of the people who love you. There are many. If you weren’t around, they would be very sad.

Lets look at everything that is required to keep a person a live. On average and adult needs 1800 to 2200 calories a day to be healthy. The food groups should be vitamins, proteins, good fats, and minerals. Its not hard to find which foods are for vitamins and so forth.

A person needs eight hours of restful sleep. This results in a rested heart and rested mind.

There should be average of eight glasses of water 8 ounces each. This cleans out the kidneys and keeps the body lubricated.

Peace, joy, and love is a better life experience. I have written before that Positivism, Optimism, Realism, being grateful, friends, family, spouse, romance, intimacy, are the way to a enjoyable and pleasurable life.

Now, I have no allusion or delusion that by me just typing in my life philosophy people will understand and practice what I believe. It takes years of practice to replace bad attitude with a good and positive attitude.

However, think of it this way. When you realize that there are good rewards from life, you see life in a different manner.

You will sleep, eat, and enjoy people’s company. Therefore, you will practice a healthy lifestyle and life will more bearable if not a right down joy.

In know we would like to think we are an island amongst our self. Life cannot be a fuller experience without people.

Okay, so the modern world has made us isolated. Most of this isolation has to do with the modern ideology of people are troublesome and we must stay away from people.

Yes some people are experiencing challengers they cannot overcome. In addition, it is smart to avoid people who are going to cause us problems. However, not all people are trouble.

Let me say that the idea for this paper started permeating my brain is the last three days. During this time I was exposed to the movie Pay it Forward. I had heard of this movie. However, I suspected it would be a foolish movie, not dignant of my superior intelligence.

I was right. Let me tell you the storyline. A 11 year old son of an alcoholic mother, who has been involved with an abusive man, goes out to make a difference in a homeless man’s life after his teacher gives the student a class assignment to go out and make a difference in their world. The movie ends with the now 12 year old boy dying after being stabbed by a classmate. May I say foolish-Hollywood-dribble.

Okay, some of you who watched the movie may say I am being to harsh. I was rather critical of the movie Pursuit of Happiness. See, media can entertain, educate, or inform. The social lessons preached by this movie are not lessons that will make a positive contribution to society.

We are all aware of the plight of the homeless and those who abuse alcohol and drugs. Therefore, the movie has no educative or informative value.

It did not entertain me. I like happy endings. Could it be that there are no happy ending in life because none exist in media?

Well that is to detrimental and defeatist. There are happy endings in real life. Media producer believe they will get a better income generation is they skirt the edges of depravity.

Another media source I had exposure to while developing this article National Geographic Channels’ “Drugs, Inc”. In this program I saw people who are homeless and killing them selves every day with their addiction.

I have simple notes to offer on this drug program. Never listen to a criminal about his motives for crime. I find the automatic label of “a poor person just trying to survive” troublesome. I like the label of “manipulative person who finds easy profit in crime” a better label.

Okay, now how do these media products fit in to this article? There are many ways that we can destroy ourselves. Many of us spend a lot of energy pursuing these practices.

In addition, for a long time I have known that life is a rather torturous experience for many. I do believe there are “forces unseen” that are trying to destroy us.

However, no one controls our thoughts. We can see things in the negative. We also have the opportunity of being realistic and optimistic. Again, I say thoughts influence emotions and emotions influence behavior. We are bummed out because we have bummed ideas.

If we want to have joy and happiness, we need to have joyful and happy ideas. We cannot spend our day in negativity and expect to feel good.

Therefore, this is a simple essay on everyday health. Every day we eat, sleep, and relax. Everyday, we spend time with happy people. Every day we practice positivism and realism and being grateful. Therefore, when we are burned out and wonder why keep going, we should say to ourselves that we bother for the child who loves us and every one else who loves us.

Taj Mahal, India

Don’t get me wrong, I have no objection at all to us helping out other countries, even though we’re in pretty dire straits ourselves here in the UK.  The thing that gets my goat is the fact that India have said they don’t want the money but the UK have insisted they take it!

The good, honest people of India, instead of grasping it with both hands, actually turned down the offer that had been foisted upon them and India’s finance minister, Pranab Mukherjee even went so far as to say it was “a peanut” that wasn’t needed as India’s economy was growing with some speed and would, in all likelihood, overtake our own in the not too distant future. 

Pranab Mukherjee

There are people here desperately trying to make ends meet; homes are being repossessed, our public services and our forces are being cut back, our government benefits are being “trimmed” which means that the less well off members of our society are suffering which, in turn, affects the disabled, lesser paid adults, particularly those with families to support, and the elderly. 

It’s also been revealed that this year we’ve set aside a budget of £8.1 billion for foreign aid in general and this is due to rise to an incredible £11.5 billion in 2015.  We’ve always been inclined to help out other countries in their hour of need but, with our coffers almost down to rock bottom, it’s utterly ludicrous to give part of this budget to a country that’s already said it doesn’t need it, thanks very much.

As you can imagine, the revelation has upset numerous MPs and, of course, us hard strapped tax payers.

By all accounts, the Indian economy is growing by 10% a year and, within the next 10 years will overtake that of the UK.  In fact, India has set up its own aid budget to help out struggling countries so presumably in a couple of years time India will be helping to dig the UK out of a financial hole!

The International Development Secretary, Andrew Mitchell, has said, in defence of the “donation” to India  “there are states the size of Britain where half the children suffer from malnutrition”.  That may well be true, but if the Indian government have stated they now have plenty of money in their bank vaults I’m assuming some of this will eventually find its way to support lesser well off people.  If that isn’t the case, then rather than pump more money into an obviously financially stable government, wouldn’t it be more sensible to filter some of the money through to charities such as the Red Cross, Oxfam, Save the Children, Age Concern, etc etc so that they can actually get the money direct to those people that need it most?

The 1800’s brought a number of new books that bore no trace of the preaching or teaching that had been in most children’s books. One of these came from Germany. It was the folktales collected by Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, two university scholars. The Grimm brothers recorded the tales just as they had heard them from storytellers in the countryside. Here were stories of talking beasts and dancing princesses, of elves and dwarfs, and even of a princess who slept for a hundred years. The tales were recorded in the rhythmic language of the storyteller. They also had the same buildup of suspense that had held listeners spellbound for centuries. They were first published in 1812 in Germany. In 1823 these tales were brought out in England. There they became known as Grimm’s Fairy Tales.

Another of the new books came from Denmark, where Hans Christian Andersen, following the lead of the Grimms, also turned to folktales.But unlike the Grimms, Andersen retold the old stories in his own way. He also added new stories that he created on the old folktale pattern. Andersen’s Fairy Tales and Stories was translated into English in 1846.

That same year humor was introduced into children’s books in England. This came with the publication of Edward Lear’s Book of Nonsense. It is a collection of limericks (humorous five-line poems with a special rhyme and rhythm) illustrated with hilarious cartoons drawn by Lear.

It is probably the first children’s book to be created for real-life children, whom Lear consulted on every limerick and drawing. Lear’s humor produced ridiculous people and situations and equally funny drawings. Unlike The New England Primer, which begins “In Adam’s fall/ We sinned all,” Lear’s book was all nonsense and laughter.

Cover of Fairy Tales

In much the same spirit, Charles Dodgson, a distinguished mathematician and university scholar, began telling stories to three little girls.One of them was named Alice. These stories were published in 1865 as Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland under the pen name Lewis Carroll. Alice goes down a rabbit hole, where she shrinks to the height of a flower, meets the Cheshire cat, nearly drowns in her own tears, and takes part in a mad tea party. Nonsense is spoken with great seriousness, and foolish doings multiply. Alice’s adventures were continued in Through the Looking-Glass, published in 1872. Both books were illustrated by Sir John Tenniel, a cartoonist for Punch, London’s magazine of humor.

Words are powerful. They inform us, bring us together, splay out and share our emotions for the world to see. But words can also cause fragmentation, rip ideals, and cause chasms where solid friendships once were. The doers of the latter are known as swear words, and swear words suck.

The easiest way to label and outcast someone is through swearing. People steal names from words such as female dogs or bundles of wood, reassigning meanings to hurt others and inadvertently hurt themselves. Words in the swear category segregate people by race, gender, occupation, sexual preference, and teach those subjected peoples to further isolate themselves with use of the very same words. People learn to twist those words in order to include some and exclude most, though, the included are subjugated themselves, by themselves. Swear words begin great cycles of hate that rebound through culture, poisoning everything they pass through.

Swearing’s hurt doesn’t get stopped by popularization of it’s words. Swearing is everywhere now, from sitcom plots to intense jokes. Children as young as four or five are learning the slang from older siblings or negligent parents. They pass the words along not realizing the harm that comes from them. The words themselves were created to harm the ones ignorant from their meanings, as they grasp them from later glimpses into websites or the minds of parents. Swear words destroy innocence by defining words too severe for youth and spreading itself like a virus through the label of “cool”. Swearing willingly spreads itself through young society because of the easily gained power knowing the words grants.

The biggest harm that swear words do is speed up and mutate the growing up of youth. Known everywhere as “the cool thing to do”, it opens up a new world to kids as young as elementary schoolers. They gain, suddenly, a power of others that they didn’t deserve. Every man, and every child, would be a tyrant if they could, and the use of swearing illustrates that. Swear words give them power over everyone else and the kids don’t, of course, willing give up such power. The words start fights and cause feuds between friends who are just old enough to understand but not old enough to properly act at their use.

We need to stop the widespread use of swearing, and soon. It corrupts the youth and destroys that seed of innocence that makes them precious. When kids are such exposed they become limited in the final people that they can become.

It is a sad day when your son comes to you and ask, “Can the government kick ___ race from the country?”.  At the young age of 11, to ask that question, shows that is truly something wrong with the government of the day!  How do you expect people to have the sense of patriotism when even the children think that they will be kicked out of the country?

Respect

As children, we were always thought to respect others and their culture.   Respect goes both ways.  You should not expect respect without giving respect.   However, all too often, the power that be expect everyone else to expect their culture and religion but do not give back in return.  

One example, is the dishes served in a compulsory training program.  The food served represent sacred animal of a specific religion but is served without any consideration for that culture.   This is hypocrisy in the highest order.

faith (Photo credit: Jeff Attaway)

Natives

In all countries, there are the original natives of the land.   However, in the pursuit of greed, this definition has been hijacked and many of those who claim to be natives and enjoy special privileges are not even from this country.  Meanwhile, the true natives are cast aside and live in abject poverty.  Their land are stolen and people raped by workers in the companies belonging to powerful warlords!

To make things worst, many illegals are given citizenship without due process.  All in making sure those in power continue to remain in power.

Religion

Religion is used and manipulated.  These are all done in the name of protecting the faith.  However, if you analyze the situation, the very act insults the faith, they claim to protect.   

Their believe is their faith is so weak that those of the faith can be easily turned – by reading the the book from other faith or even listening to mp3 of other faith.

Those who convert to their faith are also considered to transfer all their worldly belong to that faith.  Meaning the inheritance cannot be passed to their family if the rest of the family is not of that faith.    You cannot have two masters – you have to choose between God or worldly posession.     Clearly, this sound like the latter.

In that religion, it is compulsory to pay a percentage of the income to help the poor and yet so many of the poor in that religion has to get help from the charitable organizations of other faith.  Since those of that religion makes up majority of the country, where do the collection go?

Language

Language unites the people.  Often the country has their national language for this purpose.  However, it is difficult when

1. you are not allowed to use the language to pray!   
2. most of the original words are discarded and replaced with badly spelt words of another language.

Education

Education standards are lowered to help a certain group of people pass.  The higher education is also restricted to that group of people.  This has resulted in lower level of education quality.   Many of these graduates can’t even do basic communication.

Also a lot of institutions are set up for profit without quality.   Those who have employed graduates from these institutions have complained about the ability of these graduates and quite often these institutions get blacklisted.

As a result, those children who go into these institutions will end up with worthless pieces of paper that is neither recognized locally nor outside the country.   

Conclusion

It is sad to see all these problems and sometimes as concerned parents, we feel helpless.   What would you do?

Other articles of interest:
Vote with Your Wallet
Faith and Religion
Education (Or in Name only)

The 2011 Party was, in my opinion, the best by far. There were lots more bouncy castles, including ones that were HUGE slides. This enabled the children to climb up the steps that were built into the bouncy castle and then slide down however they wanted. Taj absolutely loved climbing up the steps and the whizzing down the slide.  In fact, Taj went on all of the bouncy castles lots and lots of times.

Another one of Taj’s favourite rides was the helicopter ride. There were lots of small helicopters that were attached to large beams that went up and down whilst going around and around. Taj thought it was fantastic when the ride speed up. I was most impressed with Taj when he reassured whoever was sitting next to him that it was all okay.

There was also a Ferris Wheel at the party. Taj went on this quiet a few times. Here is some video footage of him on the Ferris Wheel.

When did suicide become a public matter? Times sure have changed. In the past, suicides were not reported nearly as often as they are now. Not only are suicides reported more, but we feel the need to provide a reasoning for each one. Every time another child takes his/her life, the media shoves the story down our throats. The stories are almost identical. A person was bullied for this or that and they couldn’t take it anymore.

We seem to think by constantly reporting the story, we’re going to fix the problem. Instead of focusing on what the actual problem is, we settle on bullying and make another law. All of the bullying laws in the world will not stop bullying. Parents begin blaming the administrators and teachers for not putting an end to bullying. I hate to break it to you, but we teachers cannot always prevent bullying. We can’t see everything all of the time and what we don’t see, it’s hard to stop. Some of us don’t do enough to try to resolve the problem, but people need to realize there’s more than bullying going on.

Don’t get me wrong, suicide is an extremely sad situation. There are always people left behind wondering how they couldn’t see the signs, what they could have done differently, and why was the person so unhappy. Let’s slow our roll and look at all of the factors that these people had in common. I can guarantee you it was more than being bullied. There is usually something else going on such as depression, anxiety and many other mental disorders. Sometimes the person’s life has just been turned upside down by a catastrophic event like a death or a divorce. Some of those people thought they had no one to turn to in their time of need. They let it all build up until it was too much to handle and they felt it just wouldn’t get better. We have failed to notice any other problems these people could have had. In failing at that, we’re not learning more about preventing suicide. We make these people victims because we can’t believe that our family member or friend wasn’t perfect. We are a society that loves to blame everyone else when most of the time the blame can be spread around. At the end of the day, that person chose to end his/her life.

I am in no way saying that bullying is okay or that it can’t lead to other issues. I’m simply reminding you that with suicide it usually isn’t just one thing. I want you to look at the bigger picture to make sure that we’re trying to solve all of the factors. We want to focus on the programs available and make them better. If you suspect someone has a bout of depression, another mental disorder, or he/she is at the end of his/her rope, speak up.