1: Ask too many questions about what they’re doing and where they are.

2: Being to clingy and wanted to near them at all times of the day.

3: Assuming on constant basis… (Thinking they’re cheating or doing something wrong)

4: Not trusting them at all, especially showing it.

5: Not being honest to them or constantly lying to them.

6: Constamtly pressuring them… (decisions, marriage…etc)

    Be sure that there are more that I probably didn’t name. Be sure to be very mindful about what you say and do. This way you’ll better your chances on keeping your boyfriend/girlfriend closer and happier.

The man asks the woman “Are you a helicopter”? She answers “No”.  He then replies “Then why are you hovering”?  No man wants to feel as if they have no breathing room.  Feeling like they are constantly being followed and watched is no way to keep a healthy relationship.  Yet, why is it that some woman “hover”?  Well, for some it is a lack of trust.  Some women feel that if they let their husband out of their sight for a moment he is going to be unfaithful.  For some it may be because he has cheated before but for others it may be from memories from a previous relationship or even the feeling that they are not worthy of his love (therefore he must be with someone on the side).  

People who hover or smother often don’t realize they are doing it.  In their eyes they are keeping the relationship healthy.  They may even think that because they are always with the one they love they have a stronger relationship than couples who spend time apart.  

What is the right amount of time to spend with the one you love? Well, you have to find a good balance that works for both of you.  If he gets home from work and wants a little time to himself then give it to him!  Remember that he was gone all day and when he gets home he does not need you jumping all over him (although he may welcome a big kiss)!  Let him come in and get comfortable, check his email, take a shower and have his dinner.  Just because he needs a few moments to himself it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you!

Being too clingy can make someone want to end a relationship just to get some peace and quiet.  So, if you are clingy, take a step back and think about what your relationship means to you.  And if the one you love is the clingy one make sure you sit him down and let him know how it makes you feel.  Communication is key!

  Some men like to boast that it is because they rejected her why they are not sleeping with her if their friends tease them about not being able to get back into their exes bed. A real Man should be able to get back his woman if he rejects or loses her whenever he sees it fit. Failure to do so will lead to his friends “mouthing” him on how “him loose the wuk”. He will Vehemently tell his mates that he is not going back there because he doesn’t want to, completely oblivious to the fact that one of the reasons women go back to their exes or allow them to have sex with her is due to familiarity and fear. It is so much easier to continue an old less than perfect relationship than to risk the terrains of dating and the beginning of a new one.

          There are many ex lovers who will blatantly threaten your relationship with your man. They will throw their sexuality at him, conscious of how fragile a Jamaicans man values are regarding fidelity and sex are when a woman basically throws herself at him. Many Jamaican men think it is taboo to reject a woman who is basically giving it up for free without any effort on his part. His peers might misinterpret it as homosexuality and what the heck, his girlfriend may never find out. It would be his little secret to sleep with his ex, silently reassuring himself that he still got it.

      Due to the tedious, derelict and paucity situations that many Jamaican men live in, sexual intercourse, exploits and escapades are one source of validating happiness and adding some fun and significance to their life. This is evident by how pervasive their conversations are regarding sexual conquest, women and copulation odysseys.  Men will be men, or rather its a man thing a lot of emphasis place on the MAN when they begin to explain to me why they cant help their prurient, debauch lifestyles. Sex is nice albeit seventy percent of them cant do it right and are only good for taking their monies as the women resonate.

          What can you do if you suspect that your partner is cheating on you with his ex girlfriend. You can leave and tell him that he can “check you back” when he is mature and ready for a grown up relationship (that is if i am still available). These are testosterone fuelled teenage boys demeanour and right now you need a real man therefore ciao. If he still wants his ex then i believe he should stick with her and don’t have me as a third wheel or make an idiot of me on the social scene.

Part of 10 Wussy Moves That Men Do

Have you ever read the Canterbury Tales? If you have, I hope you had learned that one of the things that women want is freedom. Being too clingy to a woman makes you a wussy because it makes you look weak. Give the girl some personal time and space. Don’t chase her all the time; Sometimes, you have to let her chill with her friends and let her do her own thing. Same goes for girls. I admit. I had times when I felt like I had to be possessive, but it’s good to control your urge, and not worry too much. I’m not saying that it’s not good to cuddle or have some intimate moments with your potential lover, but you need to balance. And it also depends on the girl’s preference; we don’t like the same things and we don’t hate the same things. Show the girl that you’re independent, that she’s not the center of your world. Whether you’re chatting with her on Facebook or talking to her on the phone, don’t always ask her why she has to go. Girls love guys who show that they could stand on their own ground. Girls are not toys you play with whenever you want; we’re more than that!

(Thanks to Puffypengu for the cool image)

                    Let me clarify that perception. I am not a neo feminist. I do not believe that I am superior to another individual because I have a vagina and he does not have one.  I do not think that our sex organs makes superior to another.  I seek to know myself and the role that I play in this world as a female. I am twenty two years old and I may throw some of my embraced ideologies out the door by the time I am twenty five but until then I want to empower my female peers.

         I am not misandric. I love men, sometimes more than I should. I believe they are fascinating creatures and I spend hours entertaining them online, via the phone or real life discourse.  I spend the last two years attempting to create a life for myself outside of scheming, planning and building sandcastle in the sky about the men I meet in my day to day interaction.

                Many young Jamaican women spend countless hours thinking about how to snag an uncooperative and often inaccessible guy of prominence and money.  It has become an obsession among young women. A full time job trying to get men to stick around after intercourse and attempting to figure out what comprehensible yet correctible mistake she made why the last man she slept with hasn’t called her in over a week.

Am I a feminist?

Who is a Neo-Feminist?

          As Elizabeth Sandoval puts it, ‘it’s not that the neo-feminist hates men or does not like sex because she has never been offered to chance to experience it (how narcissistic of men to think that of a feminist), it’s more like what I said to Rohan the other day …

          “I do want to have sex and I love sex but with my husband or significant other.  I am not having sex now because I do not have a significant other. I believe in the sanctity of intercourse and I don’t have recreational sex. I will not be used as an orifice and I am not a commodity that the highest bidder can purchase.  I tell Jamaican men that I am not interested in having sex with them because they want me to do it. I want when I have sex with a man it is because I want to do it and not some twisted rite of passage I have to perform for future relationship advantage with an emotionally unavailable and inaccessible guy.  I do not want to have sex with a man to oblige or indulge him. I want to do it because I believe that it is a transcending experience and I could not see myself copulating with someone else. Translation: I only have sex with men I really like! 

         I do not hate Vybz Kartel: I am here listening to his new songs! I love the timbre of his voice. I think he is a very sexual being and he oozes sexual energy and confidence.  I believe he is a soft misogynist and I do not like how he treats women or rather paints women as sex objects in his raunchy gratifying lyrics.  Translation: I do not resent the raw sexuality that men exhibit in fact I am intrigued by a man that screams, “I am the greatest lover in the world”.  However I am averse to men thinking that they are entitled to have sex with every girl that they solicit. I am repelled by the narcissism that most Jamaican men portray when a woman rejects his sexual advancement to the point where he will publicly disrespect and trash her.  This is because women are repeated portrayed as sex ready and aroused creatures a waiting the next intercourse session with any willing, qualified male.

Statement 1: Japanese girls are shy. 

Japanese girls will rarely confess their love to a man. They will not take the initiative and in many cases, they will not show reaction to your incentives. If you hold hands with a Japanese girl, who likes you, she will hold your hand. She will not suddenly kiss you. The mere act of not retracting her hand already requires a lot of bravery from her side. The fact that she would for example go on a date with you to a location where you both will be alone together says a lot about how she looks at you. You will have to bring up the guts yourself to take the initiative and try kissing her. Don’t be afraid to do so! A Japanese girl is, like I said, shy, so the only chance of success comes from your initiative. Also, when compared to Western girls, Japanese girls don’t react as vicious when they reject someone. If anything, they are the perfect gentlewomen, when it comes to rejection. Of course if you are rejected, you will feel bad about it. The difference with being rejected by a Japanese girl is that not everyone will know. You will not lower in social status, because everyone knows that girl rejected you. It requires bravery to tell a girl you like her and it won’t be held against you as it would be in the Western world.

image source: http://images.stanzapub.com/readers/2009/11/03/2628886_1.jpg

Statement 2: Japanese girls like both flaws and skills

With the title, I don’t mean that girls will never be with a perfect guy. You can get a Japanese girl by being rich, by being good at sports, by being smart, by being funny and so on. However, if you are known as a misunderstood weirdo, it may work just as well.  It is important to be a certain type of guy. You can be the artistic type, the sporty type, the music type, the writer type and so on. As long as you are the best in your version of guy, you will be popular. The best guy in sports, the weirdest guy on campus, the poet and so on. All of them will beat the second guy in sports. It’s a matter of being a little bit strange or extreme, rather than average. In many cases if you are in Japan, you will be stamped as the foreigner. This will give you an edge as it adds to your type.

Statement 3: Japanese girls are clingy

Japanese girls think about marriage and the future a lot. They have a certain image in their mind and they want to go there. If you are their decision to reach that goal, they will do everything to keep you happy. This also means that they will want confirmation from your side. They will expect you to plan out the future. they will expect you to do things like propose within certain time frames and so on. They will not break up with you if you don’t, but they will worry and expect you to say things that reassure them you’re a guy for the future.

image source: http://images.stanzapub.com/readers/2009/11/03/02_1.jpg

Before you ask, yes my girlfriend is Japanese and everything is going fine. 

“recovering from a break up or divorce can sometimes appear to be more daunting than coping with the loss of a loved one” -Ristina Re La Cal (psychologist)

We have all been in that situation where we think “i cant continue this relationship!”. However we are all guilty of dodging a break-up out of guilt and because we “don’t want to hurt their feelings”. Expert Dr fisher says “Romantic love evolved to enable you to focus your energy on just one person at a time”, so then how are capable of being faithful when we are with someone out of guilt? Moreover, Love guru Ristina De La Cal says “Regardless of how much love may exist, how much time you have invested or anything else that you might use to justify staying in a relationship that isn’t living up to your expectations, nobody should ever have to settle for less!”. To everyone reading this article, breaking up with someone can break their heart, but staying with them can hurt them even more. To reduce the tears and suffering; perfect your break up technique; make break-ups easier for both of you!

For the clingy type:

I’m sure most of us, if not all, have experienced this type of partner. It is not my intent to criticise, though it is imminent that this type of breakup can be a long and tearful experience. Often, a clingy partner is often very weary of your affection to the opposite sex, this being to your friends or ex’s . this is not always the case, as your relationship may be grounded in solid trust cement, but it is still a very evident fact. So, when considering a break-up with this type, make sure you relieve his/her anxiety by taking special care of NOT extra attention to the opposite sex, for a couple of days previous. (This may be hard for some, as falling out of love may mark the moment for a new relationship). But trust me, its imperative , as he/she is less inclined to question whether your change of feelings was because of another person (this will benefit their confidence for the next relationship). As for the actual physical break-up, DO NOT break up over the phone. Make this a dignified event, invite them to lunch!

For the “I don’t care” type:

Often the gym junky, the one that’s full of them-self, or even the average person who wants attention. Be careful, these people can often get hurt deeply inside, but will never show it. It is important to not sound derogatory (to talk down on), they will hate this type of treatment. So, my advise is to make the break-up more fast pace, so they can have some time alone afterwards (to be emotional). They will probably want to look as if it doesn’t bother them, let them do this! if it will mean you can be friends afterwards, its worth it!

For the emotional type:

People will often stay with this type longer, fearful of hurting their feelings in a break-up. but unfortunately it’s harder for the both of you if you stay together, as i have previously stated. i suggest a break-up in a familiar place, somewhere that is not in the eye of the public (in your living room perhaps?). This way, both of you can feel more comfortable if he/she begins to cry, or fills the room with emotion. Its important that you both feel comfortable, so you can be honest

Remember, break-ups are hard, but not breaking-up from guilt is harder!

If anyone has another type they would like me to add, comment with you suggestions

wide eyes