Former actor from Jackass was killed in a car accident. Incredibly, a colleague from Jackass predicted crash!

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Bam Mager enter directly into a TV show, some time before the accident, and speaks as a joke more seriously about Ryan leads.

“Always goes with the speed and likes to brag about it. They put very powerful car engine light once missed a bit of a phone booth after he supratunat a BMW,” said Bam, who was convinced that “Ryan will surely die because of an auto accident! He hit 6 cars so far, plus those of his friends.”

At a certain time, it tells how she felt when she went with him in the car “drove horrible, I felt like in Romania when he was doing because of his accident and die together,” alluding to the bad roads in our the country.

When I finished serving them, I went to get a coffee and a croissant for my breakfast. On the way back I met a friend who broke the saddest news of the year, which I will remember for the rest of my life. As I greeted him, the expression on his face had already showed the sadness in my heart, the tune of his voice was shaking as he begun by saying,  “do you know Mr. Sher, your friend who was in the hospital has just passed away this morning. He knew that I was very close to Sher.

As soon as I heared that, I stood there for a few minutes in total silence and was not sure what to do. After a while I went back to my shop, I sat on the chair but still in total shock. In my wildest dream , I could not imgaine that Sher would be dead, I was so shocked that I didn’t know where was I and what I was doing? After a few minutes, one of my colleagues came to me and said, “what is up with you today? Why are you so sad?”. I replied by saying that my friend had passed away.

A few minutes later, I went outside the shop thinking about Sher, although it was a very pleasant day, sunny and warm but suddenly everything seemed very dark to me. I was walking up and down the street like a person who is fully drunk on a Friday night.

After a few minutes of walking, I decided to leave the shop and go home because I could not think stright, on the way to the underground station, I met my friend who broke the news to me. When he saw, he quickly grabbed me and took me inside his shop. At that moment, I didn’t know where was I?

As I sat down in his shop, I was quickly surrounded by my other close friends. They were very kind and helpful, they tried to calm me down. One of my friend went and got me a bottle of water, while others told stories about life .

I was sitting with them for hour or so, I felt better during that time. I think have friends are useful for us as a human beings, becuase everyone joins you when you needed most.  And it is a very useful to you share your pain with your friends.

I could not believe when I heard that Sher was dead, because we were very close friends and he was very fit and young. He used to eat very good food and looked after himself. We used to work together in a company where Sher was co-director of the company for six years. In that six years period I don’t remember any single day that he had taken off work becasue he was not feeling well.

During that six years, we had a wonderful time working together, he was funny intelligent and had a very good sense of humour, we worked as a family. May God bless his soul. Everyone who knew him spoke of his good character, I don’t know any one one who said any bad word against him.

It is been almost a year,  but I still remember him and it is hard for me to believe that he is dead.

BONDING WITH B0SS

 DEMEANOUR DOS: According to Kanika Marwaha, India representative, University of Warwick and career counsellor, ” The best way to deal with a male boss is to maintain a friendly but cool demeanour. Follow the ground rule of never getting too familiar.” She feels that being organised, practical and letting your boss know that ‘competent’ is your middle name is the best way to impress him. Says Pervin Malhotra, executive director, Career Guidance India, “Male head honchos tend to prefer a direct and upfront approach rather than beating around the bush. They have little time for your domestic horror stories. Keep your personal and professional life apart under all circumstances.”This is nor to say that all male bosses are tough to deal with, but that their approach is usually different from women’s. For example, while giving orders, men tend be direct and to the point, whereas women generally give orders using softened demands. If a male boss is unhappy with your work, he may not think twice about ticking you off. However, this is seldom a personal thing. “But ifhe is using foul language or getting abusive, you need to firmly and calmly, tell him that’ it is unacceptable. Stop him the first time this happens, or else it’ll become a habit,” advises Pervin. If you are upset about something and want your boss to know your point of view, be direct and express your feelings, instead of sending feelers. Your male boss will appreciate it.

WHAT MEN WANT: Pervin opines,” Straight forwardness, hard work, seeking no concession on the basis of your gender and upfront communication are what any boss expects from his associates.”

ROMANCE RULES: Both kanika and previn feel getting romantically involved with a boss is a bad. Pervin feels, “you arelanding yourself in a tricky situation especially if it goes sour. However, if you both do fall in love, then ensure that you never flaunt your relationship, never use your position in his personal life to your professional advantage and never act in an over familiar manner with him in the presence of his staff.”

CONNECTING WITH CONTEMPORARIES

 DEMEANOUR DOS: “The boundaries are far more fluid here. Therefore you can establish relationships (given the fact that you have reviewed the company code!) and also decide whether you would like this relationship to evolve into a personal one or not,” says Kanika. However, Pervin feels that maintaining a distance always is more prudent. “Don’t try to convert male peers at work into bum chums and don’t reveal personal details to them. IT is unprofessional.”Women are not serious abouttheir career – this is a common  mindset amongst most men, your male colleagues included.Pervin adds, “Every woman faces this attitude from co-workers. Ignore this standpoint and do everything in your power to avoid fuelling this stereotypical view. Avoid making personal calls at work, stop sending personal e-mails, don’t take extended lunch breaks to shop and stop gossiping with colleagues at the drop of a hat.” It is also a good idea to avoid using swear words or e-mailing naughty forwards to male peers at work.

If you are the only woman in a team of guys, you might get sidelined. Pervin suggests, “It is possible that your male co-worker wants to work late in the night. If that is not possible, don’t hesitate to make it clear right in beginning of the project that while you are willing to pull your weight, you would prefer to work during office hours, unless there is an emergency. Get you team to discuss roles and divide tasks, and do your bit faithfully.”

WHAT MEN WANT: Kanika emphasises, “Women complain about their boss, husband, mother-in-law, and maid. Men detest this.” Don’t snitch to the boss if you have problems with a co-worker. Sort it out. Pervin adds, “Never use tears as means to get off lightly. Tears may get you sympathy momentarily, but they ruin professional relationships between men and women colleagues mote than anything else.”

ROMANCE RULES: Kanika’s advice:”It seems to be the norm to srike a romantic relationship these days,go ahead, but a word of caution: don’t let it develop to the extent that it jeopardises our job or peer group interaction.”

GELLING WITH JUNIORS

Demeanour dos: ” Have a stong approach- if a job has to be done, it has to be done,” advises kanika. Don’t fall into the trap of behaving like a man at work. Pervin feels, “You can be just as effective if you are polite.” Don’t throw emotional tantrums. Win over your male subordinates with fair play. Avoid getting too personal with juniors. “Give the impression of being someone who is receptive to ideas. Informal gatherings cement relationships, so a drink at the pub is okay but not a candlelight dinner,’ says Kanika.

WHAT MEN WANT: A woman who knows her job and does not resort to female wiles to get her way.

ROMANCE RULES: Unthinkable with a junior male colleague. Avoid at all costs. Guys tend to kiss and tell, and this could create problems. If it can’t be dodged, then make sure you both are very discreet. And the sooner one starts looking around for another job, the better!

The world is full of examples of those who had hope or were given hope, and from great depths of despair or difficulties emerged and succeeded. There are famous examples, and there are likely to be millions of other unsung stories of hope triumphant. A destitute down-on-his-luck actor living at the YMCA in New York in 1912 could have given up hope and the world would never had known Dale Carnegie (then Dale Carnegay), author of How to Win Friends and Influence People. When Saul Bellow’s life was turned upside down by his wife divorcing him (which he wrote about in his famous Herzog), he could have resigned from his life of writing, never fought back and never have claimed his Nobel Prize in literature. And what of the Holocaust survivors who marched out of Europe not knowing a word of English or Hebrew and made a successful life in America or Israel – all because they had hope.

So, in this era of a deep economic recession when colleagues, relatives, and friends are being laid off, do not avoid them. Reach out to them with a word of encouragement. Let them know their skills are excellent; that they were laid off for economic reasons, and that if they soldier on and not retreat they will find a new job. I gave such a word of encouragement to a colleague who was laid off recently, and he told me that my simple gesture brought him out of a spell of depression about his job loss, gave him hope that he could find new employment, and he actually found a new job from Craigslist within one month of being laid off. He called me from his new job and thanked me – and all I did was offer hope; it cost me no more than a five minute talk with my friend, but it changed his life for the better.

Do you know someone going through difficult times: a divorce, job loss, a parent with Alzheimer’s? Reach out to him or her and offer them a word of encouragement. Remind them of their strengths and find words of hope for them. Your gesture will be warmly welcomed and richly rewarded – you may better that person’s life by giving them hope. You may later see them happy and successful because you turned their life around with a few simple words of hope. Those words can work miracles – that is the importance of hope. Give it freely, and the more of it you will have.

All the workers of the establishment should always consider the place of work as the place of worship. The boss should be respected and duly obeyed, of all orders given by him at the place of work. And all the co-workers should exist together in perfect harmony and peace among themselves. Such places of work give tremendous results in shorter times devoted to the work. A positive energy too, flows at such a pious place of work.

But very many times we have observed a few fish spoiling the waters of this cultured work at office or other such places. Yes, a few negative workers or the so-called ‘difficult co-workers’ do make their irritable presence felt due to the negativities flowing around them.

The positive ‘chi’ is absent around them.

The question now is, how to deal with such a difficult co-worker if he happens to be working with you, by bad luck.

Read further for advice on dealing with a difficult co-worker.

First of all, scan yourself sincerely and if you might find that the co-worker’s annoyance is due to any of your faults, do not hesitate to say a polite ‘Sorry’ in a humble way. This would certainly wash of all further difficulties between the two of you.

If you judge yourself clean, you will have to zero down on the nature of problem, of this co-worker.

A difficult co-worker can be problematic in various ways like non-cooperation with you, slow work, gossiping around and disturbing others, backstabbing, and so on.

Once you have found the nature of the problem associated with him, try to talk to him on the issue, let him know about the situation and promise him all help from your side.

Gift him a Rose, which is really helpful to do wonders at times.

Or if the nuisance is a small one or can be neglected, avoid it and concentrate on your own work.

If your difficult co-worker is a stubborn type, he will not easily succumb to such tantrums of yours and would stick to his behaviour, as ever and even still more judiciously.

In the scenario, you would definitely have to talk to your seniors regarding the issue. But neither discuss this issue with any other staff member nor try degrading this co-worker in front of others.

If your senior too supports this negative worker, as the last alternative visit the senior management to apprise them of the situation and ask help rather than ask for action against the person concerned. But before approaching them, see that your own work, records and papers are in perfect order.

In no case should you fight it out openly, or lodge written complaints against anyone. These options can put a black mark on your career too.

If nothing seems to work, ask your management for a change in department, to avoid this difficult co-worker.

Changing the job should be avoided and kept safe as the last alternative.

A list of ‘at a glance TIPS” on dealing with a difficult co-worker

1. Talk to him politely to sort out the issue.
2. Appreciate him for his work rather than rebuke him for his faults.
3. Praise him in public or in front of the staff.
4. Do not fight or abuse him directly or through others.
5. See him as a ‘patient’ to be treated, considering yourself to be a doctor.
6. Think only positive.
7. Offer him a gift as a token of respect.
8. Postpone complaining, as the last resort.
9. Invite him at a party to your place rather than avoiding him.
10. Persuade him affectionately to change his ways.
11. Try helping him out by doing his work, when he is overburdened.
12. Order a cup of coffee for him when you order yours.
13. Admire him for any of his positive gestures.
14. Win his heart by love; Aggressiveness won’t pay.
15. Do not over react to the situation in any circumstances.

2. Remind yourself why you’re all  there. Even if you really didn’t want to go, find a
positive reason for talking to people, its a festive time of the year. so make sure you enjoy yourself make the most of it!

3. Ask fellow employee’s and coworkers questions.  encouraging people to talk about themselves, you will build
rapport. As everyones favourite thing to talk about, is themselves.

4.T here is a chance to identify a new opportunity or raise your profile with the
powers that be. You’ll find communicating easier when you have a purpose, think of the party as a opportunity rather than a chore.

5. If it’s an office party remind staff that they are at a work event and work policies
and procedures still apply, dont get over strict though let them have a bit of fun!

6. Send an e-mail detailing the company’s disciplinary procedure should any events
occur which might be fuelled by excess during the festive season.

7. Limit the amount of alcohol provided, especially if it is free as it can get very costly, and also you done want a room full of drunk employee’s . Keep an eye on all
employees under the age of 18!

8. Unless you’re with close colleagues err on the side of caution. Offending the
Company’s top customer could cost you your job! dont forget your still at work.

9. Make sure you provide a sit-down meal or plenty of nibbles to limit the effects of
alcohol. Provide plenty of soft drinks, too for non-alchoholics.

10. ENJOY! have a wonderful time! Wishing you a great party and a very happy festive season.

Most of us already know this, so what I’m about to write isn’t new, but it is worth mentioning:

You can’t depend on people to do anything just because they say they will.

In years past, a person’s word was their bond and it was unthinkable to renege on a verbal commitment. Living up to one’s commitments was seen as a mark of responsibility and respectable behavior. Woe betide the person who did not live up to their word!

I don’t know exactly when it happened or why things changed, but in the 21st century a lot of people don’t do what they say they will do. Sometimes this problem happens in an office environment where colleagues are supposed to help one another. Occasionally I must lump myself into this distasteful category of people who fail to deliver. Perhaps you’ve experience this problem, too.

Excuses, Excuses

So why don’t we do what we say we’ll do? Let’s look at some common reasons:

1. Malicious – your colleague never intended to help you; they saw this agreement as a means to inflict pain and suffering. Hopefully this is the rarest motivation.
2. Appeaser – your colleague said “yes” to you just to get you off their back or because they fear your wrath. Their motivation is more self-preservation than malice. It’s really more like short-term pain avoidance.
3. Well-Intentioned, Seemingly – “Gee, I really meant to do it… but I just never got around to it”. This is the sign of an irresponsible and/or inept colleague.
4. Out-prioritized – someone else screamed louder than you and your colleague fulfilled their request instead of yours – this really, really bites because we all like to think that “first come, first served” is the guiding principle for work requests. Failing that, we can accept that our work requests may be handled in priority sequence, as long as we think it’s been done fairly and openly. Hard feelings erupt when the rules seem arbitrary or else ignored when someone complains more loudly than you.
5. Thwarted – your colleague tried their best, but couldn’t make it happen on time, for whatever reason – many of us are pretty sympathetic in this scenario, if only because we been on both ends of the work request.
6. Forgotten – amongst all of the other demands on their time, your colleague forgot about the commitment they made to you. On the surface, this sure seems like a sign of incompetence or irresponsibility. Is it?

Forgotten, But Not Intentionally

We’ve all experienced information overload. We are stimulated in multiple ways on a regular basis, far more than our ancestors could have imagined. We have telephones, faxes, letters, E-Mails, cell phones, pagers, RSS feeds, instant messaging… not to mention real live people who attempt to get our attention. We can only take so much before we’ll start forgetting things. Things get missed, forgotten, or overlooked regularly because many of us don’t know how to manage the multiple information sources that bombard us with stimuli. Some of us can’t manage them no matter what tools are available to us.

Getting Memory Space

We need ways to get people’s attention, keep it, and ensure follow through when we need to have an important job done. It’s not that people don’t want to help, it’s that they honestly can’t track all of the commitments that they make. In this high tech world, I have a fairly old, established, potentially low tech solution to this problem.

Get it in writing.

In other words, force your colleague to positively acknowledge your work request, including the following criteria:

• Description of work to be done (keep it as simple as possible)
• Date/time due
• Persons to whom the work must be sent to

How To Seal The Deal

You could take this to an extreme by creating a paper contract for all work requests of any size, requiring signatures in triplicate that are notarized by some legal eagle. However, if you ever want your colleagues to actually help you instead of running away when you approach, consider a few more palatable ways to get their agreement:

• Ask for a short written note
• Ask for an E-Mail confirming the work to be done, due date/time, and key stakeholders who must be notified
• Write the E-Mail yourself with the necessary details, then ask them to confirm back by E-Mail that they’ll get the job done

There’s another variation on these practices that you could use, but you need to be sure that it will work. This variation follows the assumption that “silence means acceptance”. You write the aforementioned E-Mail, but you add text that says, “unless I hear otherwise from you, I expect that you will deliver on this commitment by such-and-such a date.” This can work, but you’d better make sure there’s established precedent in your workplace for using this type of confirmation. This may be a written or unwritten rule in your office, which is great. However, I’ve seen numerous situations where people will not consider anything a commitment unless they formally send an acceptance, signifying the commitment. I’m too paranoid to rely upon silent acceptance.

The Benefits of Written Confirmation

Written confirmation is a positive affirmation that the job will be delivered as requested. This in itself is worth its weight in gold, which is becoming more valuable each time I check the markets. However, there are a couple of ways that written confirmations help your colleague as much as they help you:

• Written confirmation establishes the importance of the request and reduces the likelihood that it won’t get done
• Written confirmation also serves to embed the request in your memory in some fashion. Think about note taking for a moment. Yes, notes are helpful as “memory joggers” after an event occurs. However, I think note taking actually helps embed the commitment into your colleague’s brain so it can be recalled later. I’m speaking both from personal and anecdotal experience.

So there you have it. Getting a commitment in writing has so many benefits that it’s a wonder that we ever believe things will get done without them. Some colleagues may feel this practice is insulting and unnecessary. If they persist with this opinion, try the arguments in this article. I think they’ll help you convince them that written commitment is not just for your good, it’s for their benefit as well.

I remembered that Instructor on that day seven weeks ago when my tears fell freely, and I could no longer see the message my friend Debbie had sent from Nova Scotia, a province where I had lived for over thirty years. The simple message from Nova Scotia to Newfoundland and Labrador, from a nurse, eight years my junior, a special friend, a courageous woman, a talented comic, a nurse who cared for my son many years ago when he was hospitalized, with a serious illness, shocked me. Her touch was like a mother’s touch, and she loved my son as he loved her. We never forgot those awful days, and spoke of them often.

Now there was a message of four lines on my computer screen. Four lines that summed up my friend Debbie, four lines that told me it hurt her to know how her message would affect me. She knew me well enough to know the impact her news would have on me.

She had simply written, “Bonnie, this is a terrible way to tell you, but I am very sick. My preliminary diagnosis is Pancreatic Cancer. I have lost all hope and live in a world of pain. I hate to tell you like this but your need to know. Love, Debbie’.

I received that message on May 3, 2006. It left me in a state of sadness and confusion. I needed to do something to help her. After the initial shock I mobilized my network of friends, nurses and mothers, firemen and sales clerks, and anyone I knew well, and asked them to send a message occasionally to Debbie, just to let her know that she had support. My contacts came through with a storm of wonderful messages for her, notes of support and prayer. Debbie was amazed that so many people would do this, when in fact they did not even know her except through me.

She mailed me one day after she had received one of my inspirational cards. I could envision her sitting at her desk, thinking of some prank she could pull on me, but knowing those days were over because she now was so weak and ill. Her message was genuine, she updated me on her condition and said how grateful we should be to have known each other, grateful for the laughs, the good working relationship, the support we gave each other, and we should thank the Universe for allowing our paths to cross. I noticed she was using past tense. I understood why when she went on to say that the abdominal fluid was too great for any more chemotherapy and radiation, she would have no more treatments and was leaving the hospital for the weekend to go to her parent’s home.

Later that day I learned that Debbie was at her parent’s home, planning her funeral, and saying her farewells. Her courage was awe-inspiring as she faced death. She had been told she had one to three weeks to put her affairs in order. She did not tell me that, and warned others not to tell me. But she knew they would.

I wrote her a letter, summing up our twenty year friendship, the dreadful time when she lost her son, how fortunate I was to have her care for my son, how pleased I would be when I would realize we were working a shift together, how dependable and kind she was always, and how she had contributed such a new dimension to my life. I reminded her of the Partridgeberries of Newfoundland that she had heard about and wanted to try, berries that I took back to her after a trip to Newfoundland. She was overwhelmed at such a simple act of kindness. I read my letter over and over before I clicked ‘SEND’. Somehow I knew it would be my last correspondence with my cherished colleague and friend.

And it was.

Debbie passed away July 3, 2006 at 4:30AM, at her parent’s home. She was forty-nine years old. It was exactly two months since she had been told her diagnosis.

My tears fall and my heart aches as I remember Debbie with her boisterous laughter, her practical jokes, her love of nursing, and her hours of volunteering with the SPCA, making sure no animal was mistreated as long as she was around. Her whole persona was unique and sweet. Her life had not been easy, but the last five years had been better, and I hoped her future would be bright. Her tender heart and loving attitude attracted many friends, and she was a gift in many lives.

I miss her. I loved her, and in spite of the Nursing Instructor’s teaching of long ago, nurses do cry, and now they cry with patients and their families. I think it is a a step in the right direction. It says to the bereaved, “I care too.”

I am not ashamed that my tears of loss still flow, and I am not hiding the pain of my grief. I grieve tremendously as I recall the goodness of a wonderful nurse who enhanced my life, who overcame obstacles, and had suffered losses and terrible setbacks. I admit it angers me that she is gone. I am not afraid to say I loved her, and cherish the experiences we shared, and I try to take comfort in the fact that her suffering is over.

I will always miss you Debbie. It was with you that I learned that nurses do cry.

Now I cry for you.