I love to go over old sayings, many we say without thinking about them. They just become a norm, a saying that we heard for years and just repeat over and over.

The old Silence is Golden. Yes it is sometimes. Parents said it when kids got unruly or when someone lost their temper. So maybe it is appropriate at those times.

Don’t let it become a way of life. Don’t let it become the way you allow others to control you or a conversation.

If you have something to say, say it. You don’t ever have to be rude, but don’t let people just walk over you.

If you don’t want to do something say NO

If you don’t like something say no thank you

If you don’t agree say so

Remaining silent or following the crowd is being a coward. It is not standing up for yourself or being who you are or can be. It is allowing others to run your life.

That is what gangs do. That is what people that hang out in crowds do. They are to afraid to make their own decisions so they cowardly let others do it for them. It is easier to do that and blame others when tings go wrong. They never accept responsibility for what happens.

Same as seeing someone abuse a child. Remaining silent is condoning it. To afraid to tell the person they are wrong for hitting that child. To afraid to say you are wrong for cussing at a 5 year old. To afraid to tell them to stop stealing, gossiping or lying.

To afraid to just walk away from the drama. So they silently suffer or silently condone bad behavior by becoming part of it.

Silence is not golden if it hurts someone. Silence is not golden if you dont have control of your own life. Silence is not golden if you have to blame someone else for everything wrong that goes wrong in your life.

Silence is golden if you are only silent when it counts. When you hold back because you dont want to disrespect an elder. When you hold back anger to your child. When you hold beck because a fool is trying to engage you and it isnt worth your time. Those are times when silence is golden.

Dont let someone else make that determination for you. YOU do it.

 If you have something to say and you wont regret it later say it calmly and with integrity. 

Silence can be very rewarding…but silence can also hurt.

You determine when to shut your mouth. You determine when not to.

Dont let someone else tell you when.  Dont let someone else control your world.

The latest is former first lady Barbara Bush, now pushing 87 but still vigorous. Once extolled as “America’s Grandmother”, probably due to her prematurely silver hair and support for funding of literacy and the prevention of homelessness, her popularity has routinely exceeded that of her husband. She has her detractors, of course, on both sides, but is still a sought-after speaker.

Her comments to a conference at Southern Methodist University on the eve of Super Tuesday were a two-edged sword. In giving her imprimatur to Romney, she also noted that 2012 was “the worst presidential campaign in history”, implying that her candidate was at least a part of the problem. This was quite an observation from a woman whose husband famously and unfairly trashed 1988 Democratic presidential nominee Michael Dukakis for opposing the death penalty, using convicted murderer Willie Horton in attack ads that were a potent cocktail of fear, racism and ridicule. It was classic PAC overkill, since Bush 41 was so far ahead in the polls that defeat was at best a remote possibility, but it effectively imputed the blame for murder to his opponent.

No Republican candidate has yet gone that far, but Mrs. Bush’s criticism is telling. She knows that her party is self-destructing through negative super-PAC ads and derogatory speeches, and the longer the primary campaign remains contested the worse things will get. The average voter is beginning to feel like the family dog strapped to the top of a car, and the high-speed, painful trip is apparently not ending soon. Like Romney’s unfortunate Irish setter Seamus who disappeared, never to be seen again; many of these voters are discouraged and unlikely to support the damaged eventual Republican nominee.

Even more revealing, Mrs. Bush, echoing recently retired US Senator Olympia Snowe of Maine, mourned the loss of moderation in political life. “I hate that people think compromise is a dirty word,” she said. “It’s not a dirty word.”

No, it is not. What the former first lady says is nothing new. Almost a century ago, the brilliant German sociologist and economist Max Weber wrote in his essay “Politics as a Vocation” that politics is the art of compromise, with social benefits to be weighed against costs in reaching any decision. What is inflexible doctrine to one person can be social anathema to another. Politics, Weber wrote, is no arena for saints. His essay is standard fodder in Political Science 101.

Apparently, most of our inept Congressional incumbents seemed to have skipped that class. The Republican presidential candidates at least want to pretend they did too. Both of these ideologically bound, intolerant and insensitive groups are likely headed for a fall they would rather forget.

Rasgulla or the sweet water? Which do you prefer to have first? Is it not the Rasgulla and later the sweet water!! Most of us would eat the rasugglla first and then drink its water later. Just compare the Rasgulla with a ‘politician’. The politician comes knocking at your door at your door steps before the elections and makes a number of promises and promises to look into the welfare of all and when the ‘same’ politician comes out victorious in the election it is only he/she who gets the sweet water of the Rasgulla in which your votes have been submerged gets to drink too!! Is it not high time to change this? Should we allow the politician to have both the Rasgulla and the sweet water from it too? Shouldn’t we express our dissatisfaction with the political parties in India and make our Motherland into a paradise?

Scams, cases of corruption, price hike have been plaguing the Congress while the BJP has also not been far behind as the party is faced with other problems such as water and power shortage, land scams, crimes rapes and murders on a climbing spree, price increase in a number of essential commodities, inefficient garbage management, hopeless traffic management where there are traffic jams almost everyday in a Metro city like Bangalore, road rage, and improper traffic lights synchronization and the recent been in watching of pornography films in a big house, where important serious business of our own Motherland is been conducted. Even the Speaker in this ‘House’ too has not been quite far behind as he has the utmost disregard to the court. If he was inded a good ‘Speaker’, he should have resigned from his seat on moral grounds and come out clean. Don’t we find that today most of people and maybe a few of us would also comprise to morals and values which we are taught during our school days.

In these times, it is seen that the JD (S) had been the only active party than all the other political parties. Hopefully Pooja Gandhi and Madhu Bangarappa would do well to revive the party and come out victorious too. Just look at the symbol of the JD (S), a woman farmer carrying paddy on her head after she had worked hard to earn a living but do they get any due or recognition. Similarly, compare this with ordinary people, how many problems do we carry on our head, numerous isn’t it but do we get our due? Never!!

It’s good to see a number of film stars taking a plunge into politics wherein the youngsters, the teenagers and the adults should learn that they should not while away their time and use the precious time in working for the betterment of the people and in serving our Motherland India, otherwise. it would won’t be ‘them’ losing out but indeed their newborn sons and daughters who would lose out soon. We all want to see our daughters lead a ‘Happy Married’ life, don’t we!! We all want our newborn sons and daughters to excel, don’t we!! Therefore think of our Motherland in the same way!!

The time has come for ‘Action’ and not for replays anymore and don’t just sit down, take a walk to your nearest polling booth and cast your vote for the right party choose between work and pornography and never try to neglect ‘Your Right- ‘Yes the Right To Vote’!! Remember your vote does count for making our Motherland into a Paradise!! Moreover don’t ever try to ever ‘compromise’ with your values while voting for a political party. Demand for a good governance within a specified ‘Timeframe’ and get it and say ‘No’ to Money forever from these politicians as this is your money which is returned to you – ‘Yes’, your hard earned money which you had paid in the form of ‘Taxes’ without the politicians giving you a bit of interest after years of struggle which you and your family had undertaken

How you say things, who you are saying them to and how you want a person to hear what you are saying. There are certain words that hold a certain meaning no matter how you try to sugar coat it, it doesn’t change the meaning of the word.

Allow…..Permit……

In a relationship there are two people. My husband and I talked about these words last night and about a post I read yesterday. You see we are a team. We work together. We discuss our plans, we decide how to do things and we compromise if we see things differently.

That is why they took out the word obey in the vows. There is no need for another adult to lead another. It is two grown people in a relationship.

We don’t allow or permit one another to do things. Those are controlling words, no matter how you sugar coat them. You see them on street signs. You are allowed to park for 2 hours, You are permitted to park in the green to unload. 

We don’t need permission to do things in a relationship, both are adults. You give kids permission. You allow kids to do things. Employers give permission and so forth.

In a relationship why should your partner permit or allow another adult to do anything? Adults know what their limitations already are. If they don’t then they don’t respect your relationship.

If you have to set guidelines, rules and barriers maybe you picked the wrong person. Maybe you don’t have the same values and morals.

When we give advice to others regarding marriage or relationships we should always be careful of the words, especially women. We can’t say something one way then pounce on a man for saying something the same way except using the word woman instead of man.

I recently saw a post about how to change a man into prince charming. Oh the women were all on it. But if the post were about changing a woman into a princess and what a man wanted the women would have a fit. So women have to be fair about language..words……

So yes language…words is everything…You cant play word games…..So I dont like the words permission or allow in a relationship nor does my husband, that is our preference.

So in a relationship …..

If you have to give Permission or get permission to do something

If you have to allow them to do something or be allowed to do something

Maybe just maybe…..Hmmmmm….My personal feeling is if I was in a relationship like that…I would feel like I never left home. I would still be under my parents control.

He smiled and explained it all. During the halftime he even cooked dinner, while I watched Madonna. I realized how much fun I was having just cuddling up with him watching a game that I didnt really understand.

But that didnt matter, he watches the chiiler channel, lifetime and national geographic with me. I have come to love the history channel and hooked on CNN. Now I pass on ESPN can’t do it that much but I have learned to appreciate and gain so much knowledge sharing what he likes as he does me.

Like I pass on ESPN he passes on True TV. We all have our differences but it is a blessing to share our differences. We lie in bed sometimes talking about the days events, politics or news. Everyday we learn something new about one another.

It would be boring if we were the same. But we both love to walk on the beach and photography. He loves t play the piano and sing. I love to dance and listen to old school. But we compromise. As I read I can listen to him play and sing. I still hear music. I love to hear his voice.

It is the differences that make people special. It is the differences that people should appreciate about one another. No one should try to make someone into someone else. They should accept the differences and love them. If it isn’t hurting them they should embrace them.

The differences shouldnt drive you away, if you look at them differently you can actually learn to appreciate them. As I read my books I stop sometimes and look over at him while he plays and smile and I hear the words. Most of the time it is words he writes. Words that speak of me or us, our love our relationship. The sound is not disturbing, the sound is soothing, it relaxes me, it comforts my soul.

So embrace your differences. Be open to change. There is a whole new world out there to explore if you let yourself do it. Dont let the lil things bother you, instead smile and remember that, that is the one you love.

Even if it your child you are looking at. It makes the lil things that use to annoy you seem trivial. Now you can look at them and smile. 

Now you can remember why you loved them in the first place.

How Relations Ends?

In early stages of new relationship, it’s normal that of you feel that you are in infatuation stage and are enamored of each other. However, this stage is usually shot live, may be three or six month, or even a year or two if you are lucky. The things which you love in your partner may start annoying you afterwards. If this is also happening with you, then you have to maintain silence, though this is the worst step. Because lack of conversation can have worst consequences, of you are bottle up then one day all will explode with a huge bang.

Learn To Compromise:

To be in bothersome type relation you need to have a neutral time frame i.e. when you are not emotionally attached. By remaining calm and unemotional, you can tell your partner that his actions are disturbing you. There is no need to get defensive, if he responses in a negative way or if he wants yourself to change. You have to learn the amazing art of compromising to hold the relation for long time. Surely, both of you can have bad habits, and both of you have to compromise on each other’s habits. Doing so, is not very hard, and is the best idea instead of breaking relation.

Resolve Your Issues:

You have to converge all of your differences and difficulties on a single point, to grow your relation. After fighting both of you have to come up with a decision and solution, you cannot leave the fights, unresolved. It can damage your relation, psychologically, physically and emotionally. You have to clear all the misunderstanding, else they can spoil your relation, of you keep them too ling. You have to resolve all the issues as early as possible. You cannot sleep well, if you have a burden on your heart. You have to talk to each other on every issue to end them. So, the sun of the next morning can bring happiness and joys for you.

Importance Of Communication Skills:

The thing which is very important for a relation is to learn how to communicate with each other. Being a couple you both should know this point. You have to share each and every thing with your partner. You have to tell your all sorrows to your partner. Beside this, you must have enough patience to listen each other.

Importance Of Listening Skills:

Listening skills are also very important in a relationship. You have to listen carefully to your relation partner, in the same way you were talking. Only then you will be able to manage a healthy relation that can survive firm all the hurricane and storms.

In Christ,

Power Play

What is the difference between negotiation and compromise? Which do you think is better in a Business?

Both the question are really confusing and frustrating and do you know the reason why are these question confusing? Because nobody has given answers of these questions in simple words. There is confusion between people because some people say that both are the same terms and some say compromise is the end result of negotiation.

But there is a difference and very obvious difference but before answering my second question I would answer my first question because understanding of the first question will let you toward answer of the second question.

In simple words:-
Negotiation = Win – Win (Objective of any negotiation process is to get win – win result)
Compromise = Win and Lose (In process of compromise one party has to lose some thing whether it is small loss for him or big )

Always remember one important thing that negotiation can be done without compromise but compromise can not be done without negotiation.

After understanding answer of my first question it is obvious that in business negotiation is always better than compromise. When you are in business you have to negotiate many things but negotiation is a broader term and is very different from bargaining.

            I think it can be. Sometimes. I do not think that it is good all the time. Sometimes compromise is a bad thing. I think that without compromise are country would not be here. We would have torn apart each other. Now we need to answer the question, What is compromise? Compromise is defined by the Webster 1828 dictionary as, “A mutual promise or contract of two parties in controversy.” So that means two people, or groups make an agreement when they disagree so that they both get something out of it but…. not everything they want.

I think that compromise is a good thing because the people agree to it. They agree to compromise. They agree to not get all that they want, but some of it. An example of a good comprising is when the Declaration of Independence was proposed, it had a paragraph about banning slavery, the North where for it but the South said they would not vote for it if they kept it in, and it had to be unanimous so they took it out. Another good example is the Constitution they had in it that the way you voted was by population, so the states with the most people would have the more power. That was fine with states like Virginia and New York because they were big states, but it was not fine with states like Rhode Island because it was a small state so they compromised. That is how we got two senators for each state in the Senate, but in the House of Reps it is done by population.

I think that compromise is a bad thing when one side of the people compromising is forced into it by fear or not understanding what the compromise means. When they don’t know what they will get out of it or what they are giving up. For example The Patriot act we are forced into that. We did not get to have a say in anything people think it is a good compromise. We give up some of are freedom for the Government to protect us, for security. If you ask me I think “ Those who give up freedom for security deserve neither freedom or security.” Benjamin Franklin.