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 In the hustle and bustle of a hyperactive, overstimulated, micro-wave type of society, good listeners have become the exception. Have you ever experienced that, you sit there and tell someone your story or your issue and within about one minute, you feel their mind wander and their attention left you and the building. How wonderful it is, to sit down with a good friend and take your time and listen to each other and really care enough to hear and understand the person sharing their inner deep feelings with you. The ingredients of a good listener are large heap of patience, several cups of understanding, seasoned with scoops of empathy, kindness and sprinkled with plenty of  acceptance and love. Good listeners tend to be less judgemental and opinionated too. They let the information simmer in their mind and soul, are slow to speak and wait until they are sure, that what they are about to say, is useful and kind. I am working on becoming a good listener because by nature I am a babbler and I can and will if allowed, go on and on. I discovered that that is really a bit selfish too. I can’t stand that, I don’t want to be selfish with God’s time that I have been given to be a blessing to others. Let us all give it a try, when we are tempted to get impatient and want people to give us the short version because we are so very busy. Let us attempt to slow down a bit and listen, I mean really listen. Why is the person in front of us reaching out, why did they choose us to release this information? How can we do our very best, to give of ourselves and  just be there for the person, that need to simply talk. This is another thought, just because someone reaches out to us does not mean we have to give advise. Simply listening to give the person a chance to talk it out and reach their own conclusion is at times more helpful, then to become the advise gurus that usually get it wrong anyway! So, let us give it a try, let us become patient listeners and make a positive difference in someones world!

Love and peace Cornelia Brown www.mrscornelia.com books that celebrate multi-racial/cultural families 

People have to encounter many difficulties every day. They often do not have other people offering tips to help them out. Being categorized as a fortune-telling tool, can the tarot cards step in to offer a little bit help? No matter how powerful the tarot is, it is meaningless if she does not work for people. This article tells you how to befriend with the tarot and why to do so for your personal need.

What makes up the tarot?

Tarot has total 78 cards. Each card has its own name and meaning. Cards 0 to 21 are Major Arcana. The rest of the deck consists of the four suits of the Minor Arcana: Cups, Pentacles, Swords and Wands. Different publishers offer different artworks for the cards. Some artworks carry a high aesthetic value.

Different publishers offer different playing instructions and interpretations. The guide can be in form of a booklet or available online.

Sometimes a deck will come along with an assistant tool. In my kit, there is a foldout mat.

 (a foldout mat)

Choose a good deck

A good deck can help a lot. Search in the Internet may give you some ideas on which decks are popular. Word-of-mouth praise is valuable. However, it is important for people to visit the bookstore to face the real object and get a touch of it. Is it decent enough to be a comfort to work with? Forsake deck with terrible instructions and interpretations.

Play tarot

Follow the instructions to play and check the interpretations. It is people’s choice to have the tarot cards idle or seek help by playing with it for tips.

View the tarot as a friend

View the tarot as one of your friends who have 156 different pieces of advice and ready to share some of them with you. Why 156 pieces of advice? It is because card upside down has another meaning. 78 x 2 = 156.

People are not forced to seek help from this friend. You decide whether you want to get tips from her. When tips are given, think over them. If you find the tips are relevant to your circumstance, study them carefully and see what improvements you can come up to. If the tips are not relevant, simply ignore them. No need to get angry. Use your free will to select believe it or not and what the next step is.

Advantages of befriending with the tarot

1. Get inspiring tips at low cost.
2. The friendship is built and maintained of your own free will.
3. She is objective. No bias.
4. She is available at any time convenient for you.
5. No quarrel when you do not believe and / or follow what she said.
6. No secret leakage problem. No need to be shy. No need to feel embarrassed.
7. No complaint if you choose to neglect her.
8. Each play takes very little time.  

If you choose the deck well, let the tarot be your loyal friend and seek help from her, she will keep on throwing you some light on different issues. She is capable of giving tips, but not the answers. People need to find answers by themselves and act appropriately to improve the circumstance whenever possible.

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Never leave your client unhappy with the reading; it must always end on a positive
note. After all, our thoughts are our most powerful tool and you do not want
your client going away feeling depressed or unhappy, the chances are they
came to you because they were anyway. So it will be up to you to show them
the light at the end of the tunnel and that they always have control over their
actions.

Now onto our next lesson, as I told you in the last lesson, we are going to use
one of the most popular spreads for tarot readers the celtic cross.
 
This spread is quite possibly the most popular Tarot spread as it packs a
great deal of information into a few cards and is usually right on target. It is
excellent for a first spread for the consultant, and is also good as a conclusive
spread.

It might look complicated at first glance. In fact the number of cards in the lay
out, actually make it an excellent layout for the beginner. Having very specific
cards for very specific purposes makes it easier to interpret. For this reason
the Celtic cross spread is often described in the booklet included when you
buy a new Tarot deck.

There are many variations of the Celtic cross; none are right or wrong. The
one I am going to show you, is the one I use, however you can experiment
with different layouts to find what works best for you.

I quite often use this as an opening spread, before any questions are asked of the client. It can tell
you quite a lot of relevant information and takes into account their distant past,
immediate past and present as well as their immediate future. It also tells you
about their inner emotions, which even they may not be aware of; you must
be confident when reading this, as sometimes it can reveal hidden fears that
they may have but not be aware of until you bring it up.
 
Now you should have your cards ready and mixed with both the Major Arcana
and the suit of wands/batons and cups. When you are ready you can shuffle
the cards. Try and leave your mind blank for this reading as opposed to
thinking of a question. If you can request your client to just relax and shuffle
without any particular thoughts, then the reading will bring out what is relevant
to them at this time, as opposed to what they may want to know. I tend to use
this spread as an opener. Should questions arise in this spread then you can
do another one after to clarify points that may have arisen and need more
detail after this one.

Example
Card 1 The present situation of the client.
Card 2 The immediate challenge/obstacle, to gain more accuracy read
both the negative and positive aspects.
Card 3 Distant past, this card will indicate what problems the client has
had in their past. It will only become clear if they have overcome these as the
reading progresses.
Card 4 Recent past, including events. This will tend to indicate things
taking place now or very recently. Card 3 & 4 should be looked at carefully as
it can give you a good guideline as to how past problems are affecting them
now, or if they are safely in the past.
Card 5 Best outcome, If the client has had problems, this can indicate
what is the best that can be expected at this time, should this be a negative
card, it might be best if the client cut their losses and moved on.
Card 6 Immediate future: This can indicate events taking place in the
next few days, weeks or months (usually not longer than 3 months hence)
Card 7 Factors affecting the situation. Compare this card with card 1
and if there is a conflict between them, such as one very positive card and
one not then this tends to indicate they may be going in the wrong direction.
Card 8 External or surrounding influences: This can be people,
energies, or events, which are beyond the control of the person having their
cards read for.
Card 9 Hopes and fears. Inner emotions, I find this card very useful to
find out what the client is really thinking. Sometimes they may not even be
aware of their inner feelings, as they could be kept well hidden and deep in
their subconscious.
Card 10 Final out come: It is a good idea to read card 5, 6 and 10
together as this will give you a more detailed outcome.

Now let us imagine you have your client sat opposite you, or if you prefer you
can sit by their side and place the cards so they are face down in the order
above. Please remember as always to place all the cards chosen by the client
face down and only turn them over one at a time. I will show you after how
you can link all the cards together at the end of the reading to give a broader
outlook.

Taken from part 2 of the professional Tarot Course – Luna online homestudies

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     This statement is also the main premise of The Tipping Point, by Malcolm Gladwell.  Gladwell asserts in his primarily research-based book that it is really the “little things” that make a difference in this world.  In reference to the “tipping point” at which an idea rapidly begins to have a greater impact on society, he states that “Ideas and products and messages and behaviors spread like viruses do” (Gladwell 7).  These ideas and products and messages start out as something small, but quickly grow and take on qualities similar to epidemics: rapid spread, contagiousness, and relentless proliferation.  However, Gladwell qualifies this statement by saying that “What must underlie successful epidemics, in the end, is a bedrock belief that change is possible, that people can radically transform their behavior or beliefs in the face of the right kind of impetus” (258).  He stresses the fact that the only thing inhibiting the change that we so desperately need in our world is human impetus; we need to openly desire and work towards that change.  It is then, and only then, when we are doing our parts to start miniature “revolutions,” that these small actions begin to have countless effects on society.

          There are innumerable examples of the explosive change that can come from these actions.  They come in many forms, but one seems to stand out among the others: changes in which one action that an individual undertakes inspires humanity to reach out and improve the lives of others.  One could examine Greg Mortenson’s quest to build schools for children in Afghanistan and Pakistan to discern the relatively meager “critical mass” needed to institute sweeping changes in viewpoint and actions of a culture.  Greg Mortenson began his journey with the construction of a single-room schoolhouse for an impoverished village in Pakistan.  It was Mortenson’s simple repayment of the kindness exhibited by the village’s outwardly simple inhabitants.  After the completion of the schoolhouse, however, Mortenson found it impossible to cease nourishing and rebuilding a culture of which he had previously been unaware.  He had experienced a kind of revelation fueled by insight:

If we try to resolve terrorism with military might and nothing else, then we will be no safer than we were before 9/11. If we truly want a legacy of peace for our children, we need to understand that this is a war that will ultimately be won with books, not with bombs. (309)

      This epiphany inspired Mortenson to continue his ever-growing journey.  He continued building schoolhouses and ultimately wrote a book.  That simple book, Three Cups of Tea, which is less than 350 pages in length, has been read by millions of people worldwide and has created a universal campaign to rebuild Middle Eastern infrastructure and society.  Mortenson, who started out funding and building a single schoolhouse in a remote Pakistani village, now finds himself supported by millions of his fellow human beings, millions who were inspired to change the world by a single book.

     There are, however, other examples that fall closer to home and institute changes on a smaller yet still significant scale.  My Eagle Scout Leadership Service Project opened my eyes to this type of small-scale change. The project started out with the sole purpose of earning me the rank of Eagle Scout.  I had decided to refurbish a neglected courtyard at the entrance to the Salvation Army on the corner of Pomfret and Hanover Streets.  Much to my amazement, that project had both an immediate and long-term impact on the Salvation Army and the community of Carlisle.  Many of these changes occurred even as I was still in the process of organizing and carrying out my project.  I saw a church group planting flowers in a courtyard that had been neglected for years and an array of new plants, flags, and lights being installed in the area I was refurbishing.  The far more important effect, however, was the long-term change in the attitudes of everyone affiliated with the Salvation Army.  It was as if my actions had flipped a switch within their consciences.  They became aware of the problems in their community and gained a new-found dedication towards improving their organization and the effects it has on others.  It is this type of far-reaching change of which so many people today are ignorant. 

     It does, however, take a certain kind of person to be above common ignorance and recognize the potential effects of their actions.  This trait, in combination with one’s innate ability to discern the true nature of a situation, comprises something that we call insight.  We as human beings generally look towards our leaders to provide us with this insight that is so necessary for the improvement of our lives.  Many people have studied the insight of leaders, but perhaps none have equaled the depth of research that permeates On War, the magnum opus of Carl von Clausewitz.  Clausewitz’s field was the study of military history and leadership.  He strongly believed that it was the quality of an army’s leadership that determined whether or not it was victorious in battle.  His combined beliefs about the necessary qualities for an effective commander and leader led him to formulate the theory that we now know by the name coup d’œil. 

     Literally translating from French to English, the term means “stroke of the eye” or glance.  Clausewitz however, brings the term to light with a different meaning.  He uses coup d’œil to describe a leader’s ability to discern “at a glance” the true nature of a situation, and act upon that new knowledge.  It is this type of insight that enables both leaders and the common man to recognize not only the true merit of situations, decisions, and problems, but also the potential outcomes of their decisions.  It is this uncanny ability that determines whether someone possesses the drive to carry out what he or she started and become a true force of change.  It is this coup d’œil that leads people to execute those “simple actions” that they know could blossom into something much larger than themselves.  And it is this type of insight that we are unfortunately lacking in our society.  This is because, according to Clausewitz, “This type of knowledge . . . can only be gained through a talent for judgment and by the application of accurate judgment to the observation of man and matter” (186).  Clausewitz expresses a point that is vital in ensuring that our society changes in accordance with our needs: that we need to open up our eyes and observe the people and the situations that permeate our corporeal lives.  We need to learn to look beyond the cocoon of self-centeredness in which most Americans exist and realize that we are part of something larger than ourselves. 

     This is not to say that we are part of an immensity too huge to be affected by our “measly” efforts and contrivances, but rather that we have the power, through individual actions and ideas, to change this entity.  We have the power to realize the potential of our actions and produce tangible results because of those actions.  This planet is, after all, defined by its inhabitants.  We, as the inhabitants of the world, have not only the power, but the duty to execute these actions and actuate the change we desire.  It is this power to change our society that makes us human and it is this power that is becoming harder and harder to find amongst members of humanity.  But this decline in action can be reversed.  All that is necessary is for people to open their eyes, recognize the potential of even the smallest of actions, and become the change that will ensure the future of this race.

Works Cited

Gladwell, Malcolm. The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference. Boston: Back Bay Books, 2002. Print.

Mortenson, Greg, and David Oliver Relin. Three Cups of Tea: One Man’s Mission to Promote Peace … One School at a Time. New York: Penguin (Non-Classics), 2007. Print.

Von Clausewitz, Carl. On War. Amazon.com. 26 Feb. 2006. Web. 1 Jan. 2010.