So I’m going to prepare you and make you aware so that you understand how to deal with people with personal problems. A personal problem could be talkative, liar, theft, trust issues, scary, shy, flirty, sexually exotic, prideful, boaster, need for attention, know it all, playful, aggressive, depressed, etc…. There are so many others but these are off the top of my head. First you need to identify these personalities immediately. You may have a best friend and the only time you don’t like them is when they drink or when they are around someone you like or they like. Maybe you don’t like them if they are not drinking or around someone particular. These are behavior patterns, and at whatever point you don’t like them is the problem area. This is the point where, in their eyes, you change to them also, they might or might not know or notice, but they will eventually. When this situation or point rise that’s when you have to be proactive.

    To identify these patterns watch them, and listen to everything they say. Always keep in mind when people get in front of large crowds, is when they are more comfortable to talk freely not watching what they say. This is the time you listen, but not with a judging ear. Just be in tune with listening and you hear more, and read in between lines better.  Notice what I said, “Listen then you hear more.” Don’t get so use to hearing people talk, and not listening to people talk. Reading in between the line you pickup on things a lot better, because what people feel can be exposed when playing or in large crowds, but you’ll have to read in-between the lines. Don’t focus to much on that,naturally you’ll pick it up, trust you instincts. Sometimes people are telling you the truth while they are playing. “Aww, I hate that shirt. I’m just kidding it’s nice.”

    Don’t just do this in one environment. This is with different environments some or most people change, with social nature, or comfort levels. Guards go down and the true them comes out, you are to know when guards are up and when there down. Ever notice the truth comes out of you when your very upset, and a lot of other people you know. This is a behavior, and your personality is more truthful, while some people are naturally truthful, and don’t sugar coat nothing. That’s a personality, open & blunt or could be cocky. You give it your own title that is all we are doing. Labeling personalities and when they trigger. We do this with our kids, and with people naturally. Some people are more knowledgable doing this. Career’s dealing with multiple personalities daily. Doctors, Lawyers, Salesman, Law Enforcement Officers, Teachers, Parents, etc….

   So after your pretty good at spotting these personalities, and the personal problems they have. The ones that are important are the ones that effect your relationship directly with them. Remember, after you get to know someone, you really don’t have to do this. Every new person you meet, learn their personality so you know what your dealing with. What they have done to others, they will do to you, if they haven’t already. You just have to determine if they have changed, cause people do change. Please, don’t confuse this with judging people, we are learning them. Let their actions tell who they are, and some not all of what they say. Talk really is cheap.

    Now you have a friend that steals. Keep your things safe when their around and you’ll have no problems. A flirt, keep your man away from them, you’ll never have a problem. Make sense? The problem is when they do something and you were caught off guard. You didn’t identify who they were quick enough. That makes you think people are horrible. Well, they are not, try to consider why they do it, or you may already know. Background, who raise them… Traumatic events, etc… NO Father in childhood.. And some people are open to the idea of change, so keep that in mind…

    Now this part might be weird or different but it will make sense. Label your friends and stay within the perimeter. What does that mean? If you have a study partner, cause that’s how both of your relationship blend for both of you best. It goes no farther then that. “So you wanna hit the club tonight?” “NO Thank You!!” You have your club buddy, and this never goes into nothing farther. Having to do with school or personal, etc, is kept separate… You both click better in that particular environment, any other environment expect problems. Or just expect to bump heads. I think you get the picture. Some friends might cover every aspect, or just one or two. It’s like taking the bible study teacher at your church to a strip club. Weird example, but it’s exactly what people do, and that was metaphoric.

   Now carefully choose categories to put people in. Allow time to tell you how to govern this, and remember friends are not bad you just have to remember it’s a relationship, but we use friendship to take the relation part away. Relationship is a connection and it takes teamwork. You cannot change no one, but you do have control over yourself & your actions. You can change you. So if you befriended someone, find the real source why and use this information to find out what went wrong. Don’t allow people to use you and take advantage of you, that’s not a friendship, that’s game. Don’t waste time out your life trying to please someone that don’t really care about you. And when you need them they are no where to be found, but the one that’s trying to be a true friend your pushing them further away.

    Think about this… If you we’re paralyzed tonight from the neck down to your toenails. Is the person you spend your time with going to be there by your side the entire way through or the person your pushing away? Remember paralyized mean you depend on the people who care for you cause you cannot do anything but move your head. Who do you have in your corner? The people you hurt or the people that hurt you? Who would be there at your bed side? The people in your corner? Would they be there? The people your pushing away? This will help you make the right choices on who you give your time to, cause you might need to re-invest time.

EXAMPLE: Your wife has been telling you for years to get rid of those friends. Now your wife is gone, you finally get hurt. None of those friends drive pass the hospital for 6 month’s. That wife you hurt is right by your side, and she wants to know why you hurt her for them. They don’t even care about you. 

    I’d hate for you to be depressed due to being paralyzed and a negative response with the people you tried to impress, and feel bad because the people you pushed away is risking everything for you. If your real friends and family ever hold any event or invite you to anything you had better support them it’s important that you show up. If you stay ten minutes, you better show. Now if anyone happens to go to the hospital are you going to support them. After talking about you. Just think about that. I wrote an entire article on that also…. I hope this information assist you. “Now! Check Yourself!”

Such type of approach requires sympathetic consideration on another’s points of views. These people are sensible enough that they learn from their fights and do their best avoiding them in future. However, acknowledging the reason is one of the most important parts in the reconstruction of a broken relationship. Understanding each other’s feeling is the beauty in a healthy relationship. It includes the things that were right in the relationship and while considering what went wrong, it is important to understand the feelings of both the parties. Once you become conscious enough to start recognizing the reason for the misunderstanding, you will also be able to understand the expectations of both the parties that they need to fulfill for future betterment.

Another aspect to consider in the process of reconstruction is the agreements and decisions that have been taken by both sides. Not only considering but also honoring their decisions and agreements is also equally important.

Avoid making half promises. Promises are meant to be honored and kept at all costs. Once you have reached to the agreements and decisions, sticking by them are equally important from both sides. By keeping the same values, you will find it quite easy maintaining a healthy relationship in future.

One of the major tips in the reconstruction of the relationship process is not using sex as the basis of reconstruction process. Since it could form a habit and you could start seeing it as a solution after every fight that could have psychological effects. Though sex has the potential of increasing intimacy in your broken relationships but it could not minimizes the risk of future fights. Therefore, it is important to have communication going for creating better understanding and mental harmony between two parties. This type of approach not only minimizes the risk of future disagreements but also be fruitful in the long run.

As you know slowly and steady wins the race, hence it is essential taking step-by-step approach in the reconstruction of the relationship. If there is still a little chance or glow present in the relationship, it is essential to cool mindedly examine various aspects of the relationship and should work for regaining the trust and love that was present before. Don’t expect results suddenly, it requires a lot of communication and time for one or both the parties figuring out their weaknesses and then overcoming them. By doing so both will be able to achieve better perspective and at length succeed maintaining a healthy relationship. Disagreements and quarrels are not as bad as thought, but virtually they gives us chance to make our relationships even better than before.

By Muhammad Irfan Zafar

Content Writer

For example, Alvin had a lot of ‘power’ in his very narrow dominion, and sought to punish  Edna in various small ways.  He demoted her, ignored her suggestions, treated her as a virtual paracite.  Everyone liked Edna and over time spoke to Alvin about his treatment which forced him to back off certain decisions and resolve them more favourably in Edna’s behalf. 

The fact that Edna had befriended all and sundry, had spent hours canvassing as if a politician looking for votes is hidden beneath the fabric.  Alvin only knows that he was made to look very bad and was impelled to perform more pro-Edna actions then he would have done in a neutral environment.

Edna’s revenge is far sweeter than confrontation and tit for tat.  She has caused Alvin’s status to drop.

During elections at the local PTA a young male incumbent attacked an older woman challenger.   He used a lot of unnecessary terms to ridicule her.  When she won she embraced him and called him her ’son’ with such warmth that it was almost funny, considering what he’d said about his ‘mother.’ 

When you launch your revenge it must seem natural and almost accidental.   It must result in the target  losing more than was gained. 

Revenge should always be taken some time after the incident (s).  The actions should not be connected as a tit for tat but seem to come from some objective place.

For example, some years ago a particular person was especially beastly in circumstances which made the actions unnecessary.   At a point he had made a tender and it came before the Committee and the person he had been unpleasant to, in the most bored voice “I think tender 4 is a better contractor…”  As no one had any particular preference they went with another tender, leaving Beastly quite out in the cold.

There was nothing to link his actions of three years ago to this decline today, and no reason to consider that particular person of any particular power.

Never take revenge when it reduces you to a lower level than your target unless that is your intention

The company took advantage of the judgmental decision making strategy. Simply it wanted to obtain the objective they had set to reach. Philip Morris accepted what they did not know and that prepared them to achieve what they desired. This company did an outstanding job at meeting their objective. They overlooked nothing and considered all they possibly could with what they knew.  

The process model best shows how Philip Morris acted in obtaining their objective. First their objective was long term it would take place over a ten year period. They had bounded rationality this is shown by them being aware of constraints such as; time and cost restraints, limited information, and cognitive limits. They also used a judgmental decision making strategy accompanied with an open decision making process. They gave growth to their company and responsibly.

In 1999 one out of every six cigarettes sold around the World was a Morris brand. Nabisco Holding Inc. was added in 2000 owned previously by R.J. Reynolds. Kraft went public in 2001 the second largest IPO to date. Today Philip Morris owned many well known grocery list items. To start there are beverages such as Capri Sun, Crystal Light, and Kool- Aid. Coffees like Maxwell House, Starbucks, and Maxim. Then there are deserts such as Baker’s, Jell-O, Cool Whip, and Handi – Snack. The list continues with cereals like Raisin Bran, Pebbles, Honey Bunches of Oats, Honeycombs, and Shredded Wheat. Philip Morris did not stop there they have Oreo’s, Teddy Grahams, Triscuit, Wheat Thins, Chips Ahoy, and Cheese Nips. The list goes on and on with Milk Bone’s for dogs, Crème Savers, LifeSavers, and Altoids. There are more that are owned by Philip Morris from cheese to meals. Today the company still has outstanding ranks against competitors and shows no signs of slowing down.

Philip Morris was founded on cigarettes. When times of uncertainty started to approach the company then recognized it and planned a way to protect their company. What started with an addition of three companies gave them stability and slow growth. Top management knew how to evaluate and innovate. Today they have continued to grow this successful company. It shows no signs of slowing down. Philip Morris represents what every company should try to achieve; profits, success, and growth.

Sources

Boycott tobacco- company owned products. (2001). Retrieved from http://tripod.com

Philip Morris company inc. – company profile, information, business description, history, background information on philip morris companies inc. . (2010). Retrieved from http://www.referenceforbusiness.com

                what can you can tell by his Face?

            If this is how you Judge him

          Then let me spray you with Mace

                        ” Don’t judge a book by its cover.” I have heard these words of wisdom repeated several times throughout my life, spoken but not followed. It seems as human beings, instead of simply trying to understand each other, we find it easier to label each other based on appearances. I will admit I am no Saint when it comes to this. I have often looked at other people, and I drew up assumptions based on what I have observed on them. Perhaps the only people truly innocent of judging by appearances are the blind, however I cannot say that for sure.

                   This ability to judge with our eyes allows us to be safe, however safety and isolation are two sides of the same coin. Sure we can guess who the drug dealer is, who the crook is, but we can only guess. That drug dealer might not be a drug dealer, that crook might not be a crook. However because people would rather label them as such and walk away, that “crook” and that “drug dealer” will not be understood and would be rejected for their looks. All the while the judges lock themselves in their homes, and keep their children away from possible friends. I will admit that its a decent method of protecting ourselves, however it doesn’t help much when a serial killer uses a “good” appearance to commit murder on unsuspecting individuals.       

    I am not saying that you should hug and accept everyone, because in the end you could be right, the crooks could be crooks, and the drug dealers could be drug dealers. All that I am asking is that if you have  time to understand them, then please use that time. Otherwise I feel that it will be easier to distrust each other, and easier to make the wrong decisions.

It’s that time of year where you have to make decisions. Lots and lots of decisions. If you want to go to university? If you don’t want to go to university? What course are you going to do? What institution are you going to do at? So many questions to be answered and decisions to be made at the age of 17/18 years. Wouldn’t it be better if we were made to keep all the important subjects till a later age, so we have all the subjects needed to do whatever we want because when choosing your A levels, you may have a specific career in mind, but when it comes to choosing your university degree, then you may realise that the subjects you chose are of no use?

This is just a little thought to think about and dwell on. Do not make rash decisions too soon or you may live to regret it.

Over the past year, I have learned quite a few things from the paths I have chosen.  From letting my gay ex-husband move in for 8 months and turning my two bedroom apartment into a halfway house.  The halfway house idea has stuck with me and inspired me to open one in my town.  Through that inspiration I learned just how much my amazing son can endure and where our breaking points are.  I have learned that not everyone is what they claim to be and that my idealism and romanticism can sometimes cloud my judgment and invade my logic.  My excessive optimism and sunshinyness always prevails in the end because I would have done it over again, well except for one thing.  You might be thinking that it would have to be letting my gay ex-husband live with me, well you would be wrong.  I would change believing in a man whom I strongly believed misrepresented himself as someone he truly is not.  I would have listen to the “Master Weasel” (I explain that later) and listen to my logical and practical side but the idea of love, romance, a solider at war with a supportive girlfriend defending him at home was too great a story to not get involved in.  Even now, I still think about how great a story we could have had.  I do have to thank him for inspiring me to go back to college and continue my education.  Without his constant reminding me of how much more money I could be making I would probably still be working at the evil mother ship of retail America.  For that, I am thankful.

I have found that the reintegration process for becoming an adult student isn’t that difficult.  The most challenging experience has been learning the balance between, family, work, school, and love.  My son is awesome because he likes that I am learning and having to do homework.  He feels very authoritative when he has to remind me that I should be doing homework instead of playing on the computer (thank goodness for a long weekend).  I hate that I do not get to see him as much because of my evening classes but the great thing is that I will only have to do this for the next two years and then our lives will return to normal, well as normal as we can be.   I have been blessed with finding a new job with a schedule that allows me the ability to attend school and not compromise my family time in its entirety.  My son still knows that I am his mother.

I know that I will be faced with many more crossroads in my life and with each path I chose, I am reminded that I am one path closer to my ultimate destination.  I love not knowing what that destination will finally be, I only cling to the ideals that it will be worth it in the end.

we regret doing them. What is it that empowers us to reach a point in our lives where we are

bound to do the unthinkable?

I am not talking about murder here people I am talking about the steps we take, or the roads

we so weakly walk down to gain that momentum in our lives. I remember a few years ago,

OK. So it was more than a few years ago, when I was face to face with an ultimate decision.

That decision?, Well… it was to step out of my comfort zone, not even metaphorically speaking

I mean actually taking that giant leap out of my comfort zone. I met this girl on line, it was a

match made in Heaven, not Match.com. What really got me about this girl is that she loved

every aspect of me. She understood me, felt me, she was my confidant.

It might sound corny but it was true, she and still is my everything, only problem?

She lived in Missouri and I was from the land of movie stars and riches, I was in my

state, by the bay. People warned me not to go, fact of the matter was I had only seen her

on her web cam. I ignored many of the cautions and heeds and decided, I am going to

take that bound for myself. I had always done things for others, this time life was mine.

To make the story short I did meet this girl who was my long distance “ girlfriend” and I was

safe and I was okay. But what is that? What is it that drives a person to do the unexpected?

In my case it was love.

I have seen many people around me in my life decide that one day their off and running,

I have come to my conclusion. It is not because they have taken a sip of that strange elixir

brought to them by a old wrench grasping an apple.

The mere reason for someone to go mad and wander off their initial path, is that they want

something better in their lives, they want the freedom, the feeling of making their own

decisions, when it comes to the balance of happiness and disaster they want to choose the

lighter part of it all.

Do not be afraid to do foolish things now and then, but also beware there are different sides

of logical thinking, there is the heart: Which finds truth and kindness in every venture.

Then there is the brain: Who sits atop of your body, the higher authority, the superior organ.

Even though the heart is in the middle of your body, do not let it get in the middle of your life,

or at least not when making rash and hesitant decisions, Tomorrow is another day, if you let

it be. I for one decided that I would take my chances, for now it is good, but not every

jump ends upright.