Unlike those Hollywood romance films, a recent study discovered the possibly inevitable fact of men tending to think themselves more sexually attractive than women actually find them, while girls tend not to think that men are really serious about wanting them.

Obviously, encounters between potential sexual partners are unpredictable at best, though those conducting the study feel that there may be deep-rooted reasons for signals getting crossed when such encounters happen.

All too often women are fed-up with those unwanted advances, while men seem repeatedly confused by reaction to their sexual advances in such situations. Men have always had to had to make the decision about whether an individual is sexually interested in them or not, but it seems that men in olden times were braver, the reason the gene-pool today is so diverse.

Missing mating opportunities is for men a big deal, because these sexual encounters are only rarely successful in terms of reproduction, simply because fertilization of an egg is such a hit and miss affair. The fact that guys have over-inflated opinions of how sexually appealing they are makes many encounters unproductive.

When 200 college students were put into a test speed-dating scenario about first impressions, each interacted with five others of the opposite sex, rating how interesting they seemed to others and how interested in others they seemed to be on a sliding scale.

Misperceptions varied greatly, the study offering clues to why this might be so. Men valuing long-term relationships were less likely to assume that women wanted them much more than they actually did than those, on the prowl for casual sex only.

Equally interesting was the difference in reality and perception of those men who women ranking low on the attractiveness scale. Better looking guys tended to be more realistic about women saw them, because they were more image confident.

Unsurprisingly, most men most often misread signals when with attractive women, probably because prettier women inevitably get the most attention, so they can be choosy. Most women like the male attention, but often get tired of fending off those who read sexual overtones into every encounter.

Research  being done in this area provides insight into potentially harmful misunderstandings about sexual intent, helping cement the idea that since men tend to over-estimate female sexual interest, it might be worth it for the girls to tone down flirtatious tendencies..

On the flip side, men wanting to avoid unexpected rejections the guys could work on being a little more cautious in their approach, as well as learning to properly read direct signs from women before making any move on them. Belief in yourself can lead to a satisfactory sex-life, but over-confidence will more often than not have you falling flat on your face.

What do you do when disappointment comes? When it weighs on you like a rock, you can either let it press you down until you become discouraged, even devastated, or you can use it as a stepping-stone to better things. ~Joyce Meyer

The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way. ~Robert  Kiyosaki

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope. ~Martin Luther King Jr.

Ones best success comes after their greatest disappointments. ~Henry Ward Beecher

Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love. ~Jane Austen

God makes the life fertile by disappointments, as he makes the ground fertile by frosts. ~Henry Ward Beecher

Rigid beliefs make disappointments seem unbearable, whereas realistic beliefs help us to accept disappointment and go on from there.  ~Eileen Kennedy Moore

None of us are ever going to get to the place in life where we have no more disappointments. We can’t expect to be sheltered from every little thing. Disappointment is a fact of life–one that must be dealt with. ~Joyce Meyer

The sudden disappointment of a hope leaves a scar which the ultimate fulfillment of that hope never entirely removes.  ~Thomas Hardy

Our desires always disappoint us; for though we meet with something that gives us satisfaction, yet it never thoroughly answers our expectation. ~ Elbert Hubbard

You have to be able to take rejection and disappointment at first and not let your confidence be undermined. ~ Juliet Mills

Some of the things I have noticed is related to education. They seem to think that closing down libraries and cutting the funding for education is going to save them money, but it is not. If anything, it will cost them more. Why? Mainly because:

1.     Some of the  people who commit crimes do it because they aren’t educated enough to get a proper job that brings them enough income. Most people find it hard to manage their finances and the Government isn’t exactly helping them understand how to deal with debt. So what do people do? They resort to committing crimes that ultimately gets them a Criminal Record and a lot of hours of unpaid work.  Because of the limitations a poor education brings to someone, the Government has to spend money on taking these  offenders to court and sending them to Probation Offices. No matter how many hours of unpaid work they do, they will never get the expertise and experience that is necessary in order to get a normal job. 

2.      A lot of people are not educated with regards to contraceptives or sexual health and they don’t know they have a choice in this. So most of them just have baby after baby after baby and the Government has a duty of care to provide them with help in raising their children and that often means financial help.

3.     Lack of education can limit people in life. If they don’t have access to education, they’ll never understand how to get a well paid job and they’ll always be signing off (which again means that the Government has to spend more money). In my experience, I have noticed there are quite a few people who can’t read or write their own names, so how are those people expected to get a job? They can’t. 

Another thing they are failing to see is the justice system. I honestly think it is no longer working because those people who offend once keep coming back. They get stuck in a vicious circle of unpaid work and they never finish their probation. Even if they do, chances are they still won’t get a proper job mainly because they now  have a criminal record to set them back and they still haven’t learnt their lesson. I can’t say that all of them are like that, but the majority are. They end up doing probation due to the lack of education and what the Government is doing is making them paint a few fences, pick up some litter and do some gardening. That is not going to help. They need to be shown that there is an alternative to committing crimes. We just don’t know how to do that yet.

The next thing I’ve noticed is the number of services they have in place and the number of branches these services have. I have to say I am absolutely shocked by that. I don’t understand why we need so many services that deal with the same thing, just under a different name. I don’t understand the need to pay so many people to do the same thing ineffectively when you can pay fewer people to do a proper job.  We don’t need so many services and trusts for the NHS when hospital staff are unable to obtain a phone number from a patient. We don’t need so many educational organisations when the Government is closing down our libraries- the places that actually keep people informed of their rights, liberties and obligations. To be fair, it seems like the Government is trying to keep us in the dark because if we don’t know our rights, they don’t have to respect them. And that is completely wrong!

A solution for all this chaos would be a centre or a town where people who weren’t fortunate enough to go to school can live and attend different courses meant to show them how to manage their finances, their communities and personal lives. We need a centre where everyone can stay for a limited time and where they can learn how to handle their problems. We need to educate our citizens, not close down libraries, increase university fees and make education inaccessible. As a community, we need to speak up and let the Government know how real life is like. They don’t know because most of them grew up in rich environments and they never had to worry about the next day. Most of them went to high profile universities and they still fail to see how important education is. Most of them use private services as opposed to the NHS or other national services. Why? The answer is simple: they don’t trust the quality of their own work. And if they don’t trust it, how are we meant to trust it? How are we meant to go to a hospital and trust that the doctor who is in charge of our treatment is qualified or knows how to put a proper diagnosis? We can’t. That is why I think all the MPs should work in the public sector for a couple of years prior to becoming an MP and they should be obliged by law to use public services. But then again, this is my own personal opinion and I shall not be held responsible for any arguments it causes.

However, if you have any ideas that might help our society in these dark times, post a comment below and we can start doing some good! They best thing I can think of is having community courses offered by local volunteers in order to educate people and give them a chance to speak up for themselves. 

 Let not loneliness scare you. It seems a curse. But it is only apparently so. Actually it is a boon, because it is in loneliness alone, in a atmosphere of solitude and seclusion that the mind of an intellectual works most. Deep concentration and the resulting meditation are possible only in seclusion. The lives of all great men are an eloquent testimony to the fact that great things of life, be it art, science, literature, culture or philosophy have been achieved by men who forced themselves into self-imposed loneliness and solitude and brought out gems of thought humanity is proud of. Let us convert loneliness into an opportunity and let loneliness make us strong.

Least alone while all alone. This paradoxical statement is attributed to one of the men of wisdom, who when asked to elaborate The implications of his statement, said with a smile that you cannot be said to be alone when you are busy with something, your­self or your thoughts. Moreover, those persons are always with yon whom you remember or with whose thoughts your mind is occupied. When you are engrossed in thoughts, you become unaware of your physi­cal body. In this case the question of your being alone or in some body’s company does not arise The flight of thoughts may lake the man round the world, may make him soar high up in the sky or make him comfortable on The waves of the sea. Does such a man miss any body’s company or to be practical does he need someone to talk to? To give an illustration, when you are busy with preparations. For your examination, you do not want that anyone should come lo you and disturb your concentration. Only a disturbed and empty mind needs company because one needs com­pany when one has nothing at hand lo be occupied or to be busy with.

While in isolation, persons often try introspection and during this period, the mind stops chattering and wandering. In the words ef John Milton, “The mind, when itself and in its own place, can make a heaven of hell.” Obviously a man, who has withdrawn himself from the crowd and whose mind is at rest, is in heaven, no matter, whether he cares or tries for it or not.

Another great thinker, W. E, Canning spent most of his time in Library, He liked most the company of books, since to him books were like a multi-purpose friend, guide, helper, teacher, philosopher and what not. For development of faculty of intelli­gence; the discipline of meditation is prescribed. Contemplation is the next step in this direction, which leads to evolution of consciousness; isolation provides the proper atmosphere for carrying on and practicing this dis­cipline. It was for this reason that the ancient Rishis and Munis were re­cluse and lived in their Ashrams far away from the din, noise and turmoil of the society. Nature was their company and gods were their friends, who used to interpret in silence the dictates of the inner voice. Every particle of nature seemed to tell them something new. Day and night, they heard the music of silence. Who would say they were alone, although they lived alone?

All great persons like Buddha, Confucius, Moses, Mansoor, Jesus, Mohammed, Newton , Madam Blavatsky, Vivekanand, Gandhi etc. received their light in seclusion. All of them had to be alone for sometime, when their higher selves divulged to them The secrets of life. It is also a fact of life that the toppers al different examinations and competitions used to read and study with doors of their rooms, closed and kept aloof from all sorts of distur­bance. Their goals of life were their guides and the books their friends. Animals as well, to get nourishment from the food and fodder they eat, do chewing the cud in silence. Introspection and self study are done best in seclusion. If you do so, you will be surprised to see new vistas of know­ledge and new pathways of progress opening before you. A poet rightly exclaimed, “O Solitude! Where are Thy Charms?”

In a big crowd, there is hardly anybody to help or lift the person, who has fallen down. Then how one could say that he is not alone in a big crowd ? It sounds paradoxical but is a fact of life. The crowd saps the vigour of the mind and its possessor is at a discount to make use of it. So, avoid crowd and shun becoming a part of it.

Vacuum is against The Law of Nature, One receives only by giving. A controlled mind, born of medita­tion in aloofness, will tell us that by sending nut good and helpful thoughts, we get the good and help­ing hands of others. In this way, the still mind keeps in constant company of goad and thoughtful individuals. These words of Samuel Kogers are worth a heap of gold, “He only is alone, who lives not for others. Come what will, the generous man has his companion still.” When alone, one cannot sit idle, one must do one thing or the other and mostly constructive. The best things are produced under undisturbed conditions be they works of art, scientific invention, philoso­phies of life etc.

Nature tells us the green grass is busy in searching for its companions and keeps low, while the tree in isolation goes high to make explora­tions in the sky above.

Unfortunately if you’re one who does this, I have no quick cure for this but I can promise you that if you apply the knowledge I am about to share with you, then you WILL live a happier and emotionally healthier life. =)

First off keep in mind these three facts:

1. You are you and others are others. Not everyone will think, feel and act the same way you do.


2. You CANNOT expect some people to understand your perspective. There will be times where they will simply be too stubborn to even care.


3. There is no point in stressing over things you can not control. Sometimes all you can do is practice patience and let the wheel come around.

Alright! Let’s move on. 
I’m sure many of you readers have heard the phrase “STAY POSITIVE.” This is one way of learning how to do so. And all you need to do, is be aware, and control your mind. This is the way I see it; You control your thoughts -> You control your emotions -> You control your actions -> You control the situation.

CONTROLLING YOUR THOUGHTS
Sounds easier said than done, but don’t think about it too hard. You just need to be aware of what you’re thinking and learn to detach yourself from the negative thoughts by thinking nothing of them and emphasize on the positive ones.
There’s an old phrase I use a lot and it goes “What we think, we become.” There’s many other versions but that’s the shortest and most direct and it’s true. If you think more about negative things, more negative things will happen. Ponder on that for a while until you fully understand the concept. There are small drills one can do but just learn to catch yourself when you’re thinking about certain things. Over time you will learn to let negative thoughts pass easier and not cause such stress or worry and the positive ones will be easier to elaborate on. 


CONTROLLING YOUR EMOTIONS
This is the ONE I think everyone usually struggles with, because most don’t understand what causes them to feel the emotions that they do. And it really is all in the mind. (Hence “Controlling Your Thoughts” being the first step.)
Once you learn to control your thoughts, the types of thoughts you allow your mind to become attached will be the source of the emotions that you feel. So if you’re thinking more about the happier and positive thoughts, chances are you will feel more positive more often. Believe me, this is a good feeling. NO ONE enjoys being unhappy or upset, disappointed, etc.


CONTROLLING YOUR ACTIONS
This is the easiest part once you have the first two steps down. Think about this. Who controls your body? Who moves your hand, foot, leg, arm, head? Who thinks the things you do? Who controls you? (Do not get smart and change the simple WHO to WHO ELSE… the questions remain as written.)
Controlling your actions can be a challenge but that doesn’t mean it’s not possible. You just need to practice restraint. Refrain from fighting back, refrain from getting the last word, refrain from pointing fingers and feeling the need to prove you’re right or that you’re the strongest. Just think about those things and remind yourself how many times you’ve done that in the past… week at least. If your reminiscence shows you NONE then you’re either the Buddha or a liar.
I don’t mean to sound like your parents but… actions DO speak louder than words, and you would be wise to THINK before you ACT. 


CONTROLLING THE SITUATION
Not everyone can find themselves experiencing a difficult situation and leave with a calm & assertive energy. A lot of people walk themselves straight into walls of trouble whereas others can easily control the outcome by simply applying the first 3 steps listed above. 
Kind of like allowing someone else to think they’ve won and you’ve lost when really, you don’t care who wins or loses, because you’re above that influence. You realize that arguing can be a waste of time and with the ease that people can lose control over their own emotions, allowing the situation toe escalate would be severely counterproductive. 
So in order to control a situation, you must know either how to adapt and quickly change your mind on a matter, or when to stop trying so hard and let the river carry you for a bit. 

In a nutshell, disappointment can come from many directions, and it’s easy to be knocked off balance when another loses control over theirs. But if you condition yourself, if you condition your mind then disappointment will mean as much to you as a fly at a barbecue. See it this way… If disappointment appears on the menu, it’s because YOU put it there. 

I hope this blog has given great insight. For you deep thinkers, there may be some loose ends that I left for you to improvise and challenge yourselves with. So get creative, and enjoy the blog and feel free to come back to it should you ever find yourself disappointed, and just remember… it really is all in the mind, and the mind can be controlled, but it has to be YOU behind the wheel. =) (Just be fair to yourself and the other drivers on the road, you may be the center of your own world but you are not the center of THE world.)

Stay Positive!!

-Kyle ‘Epic’ Mendoza 
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Perhaps over the years I have acquired a realist “no bull” kind of attitude, for I simply do not have the patience to deal with people who make repeated attempts to hurt me whether they realize it or not.  Actually, the fact that someone can hurt me more than once without realizing they had done it is the most bothersome part of all.  Now had I never been promised at all I would not be sitting here now thinking (and rethinking) things that were said.  Unfortunately it results in an empty promise and a disappointed me (twice over)!

The way I see it, one should think before they speak! A promise is a guarantee that the person will keep their word.  What does ones word mean if the promise is broken? Absolutely nothing!  And a promise broken by someone who was supposed to love and care for you makes the dagger to your heart that much stronger.   Disappointment is a horrible feeling, one I know all too well.  Yet, I can’t help but wonder why someone would make a promise they had no intention of keeping.  

Unfortunately a broken promise does hurt and the person who made (and broke) that promise should have thought hard before making it.  I never promise anything unless it is something I am damn sure I can follow through on.  I would much rather someone be pleasantly surprised than heart-brokenly disappointed.  But then, I always say what I mean and mean what I say! 

I’m never again gonna live a life of sorrow.

Never say never!

I’m terrible at the things I want to do or say.

You might not like it my way alot of people don’t.

Just try me and give me a chance!

I don’t know what’s wrong with me how come I can’t stay hard or get hard when I’m trying to have sex?

This is starting to piss me off.

Everybody says that sounds like a personal problem so maybe I should keep it personal.

I think Heather likes me for who I am and she seems like a good woman.

I didn’t mean to make her disappointed if I did.

Sometimes I feel like a loser but I know I ain’t.

For her I can’t wait!

I can’t wait to see her again there’s something about this woman that I love.

I hope I never do anything to screw this up.

I hope she works with me.

When I wake up in the morning, I expect my glasses to be in the same place where I put them before I went to sleep. I expect hot water in the shower; I expect my bus to be on time…I expect to receive pretty much what I give and nothing more. I expect respect from some people and they expect the same of me. And there is nothing wrong with that. Except the frustrations that come with someone’s failure to meet our expectations-like when the bus is running late, the driver fails to meet my expectation of the bus respecting its schedule and getting me to my destination on time-and the stress builds up. We all expect things- either because they feel natural to us, either because we pay a good value to have them or because we think we are entitled to have it.

Truth is people nowadays expect too much. Our lives are measured in future prospects, wallet thickness and years of solitude or marriage. Our greediness blinds us metaphorically speaking and makes us fail to see that if we lower our expectations, the result that we are expecting could make us happier. Of course, there is room to expect an improvement afterwards, but for the time being, we could just focus on what we have. We should stop expecting things from others and start thinking about what others expect of us. I’m not saying you should turn into a selfless, self-ignorant person, I’m just saying…if you stop expecting things from people- especially when you know they’re not going to happen- you’ll save yourself some disappointment.

All of our expectations come from our psychological, cultural and social background. Depending on the country we grew up in, the things we were taught in school and at home, the moral values we’ve been indoctrinated in, we expect different things from life. Those of us who grew up in prosperous environments expect to have a good education, be able to get a well-paid job and have a nice home and a nice family at some point. Women usually expect their partners to treat them nicely, be tender, kind, careful, loving and satisfy them in bed, but that is not the case of all women. In some countries, women expect their partners to go hunting and bring food; they expect their husbands to defend them from wildlife and from other enemies.

In our society, men expect their wives to be good housekeepers, good cooks, good mothers and teachers to their children and also be a working woman, helping support the family financially. They also expect us to be entertaining in bed, spice up our sex lives when it suffers a low and they know we expect the same thing from them. For men, a woman’s expectation in bed is a great thing and it always needs to be met, otherwise their ego is hurt. Having no expectation from men in bed can be a good thing because they can always surprise us. Don’t forget to tell him what you like, though!

In other countries, men keep their women out of public sight, out of the working fields and heavily into family life.

Sometimes we expect too much of those around us and that gives us a feeling of disappointment and tension when they fail to meet our expectations. Not only that affects us, it also affects the person who disappointed you. If you express that feeling, they will soon believe they are not good enough to please you and that lowers their self-esteem and confidence. Having great expectations of children can dent their yet undeveloped self-esteem and that can lead to isolation. 

The right way to approach an expectation is to not have it at all. Understanding that people make mistakes unknowingly and unwillingly and once a mistake has been made, you cannot turn back time and take it back. What you can do is expect nothing at all and then you’ll be pleasantly surprised when those around you achieve something worth being proud of. Furthermore, if you expect great things of someone and they feel pressured and pushed by your attitude, they are more likely to fail and disappoint you as well as themselves. Don’t expect anything from anybody. Let them be who they are and surprise you with their uniqueness.

Still, what you expect from yourself is your own target. All you need to remember is to have realistic expectations. Being healthy, organised and consistent can increase you chances of meeting your targets and no matter what happens, you have to keep trying.

            If you have any comments, questions and suggestions, feel free to drop a line. 

* Image copyright does NOT belong to me. Images found on Google.

Some women find themselves trapped in a destructive relationship and did not even realize it because partner violence is latent. Others are afraid to leave their partners or do not see a way out of the relationship and resign in the role of victim. We can judge them? Probably not. Yet, why have men such behavior?

Why a man loves and at the same time, hates women?

Cases seem to belong to family of man comes, if the father is too severe or passive, or the mother is dominant or passive.

1. When the father is tyrannical, and his mother, and shy powerless

In such a family, the mother is often used by children, seeking consolation in them, and shedding all of their anger and disappointment caused by relationship or marriage that is involved.

Mother’s behavior is so imprinted in the subconscious of the child so that he can and can not defend against the father.Therefore, all gathered frustrations because he abused my mother is directed to another woman.

Another possibility is that the son, when they become adults, to identify with his father. And in this way is as severe and dominant. All the anger that he could not address a father again, directing it to other people.

Or you can catch with his mother and become weak, timid and unable to live on their own strengths.

2. A dominant mother

In such cases, the mother creates a strong attachment to her son’s exaggerating and trying to control them solve all problems. This is addictive .

Later, the man feels his partner has the same power, and this frustrates him. He believes that love is denied and she was just trying to make him continue to feel powerless and dependent.

Visit MedLife for more articles and reviews about a healthy life, common diseases, treatments, symptoms and much more. Medlife is one of the most appreciated health blogs in the world written by the best students in medicine.

Everyone in this world experiences this disappointment and knows the feeling of living with it. Disappoinments demoralize us this make us weak and the work we do in the diappointment is never successful. As we had excepted the defeat before doing the work. Demotivation is not only thought by some wise persons but it is sometimes feeded by the persons near you directly or indirectly some people blames you for some reason and this made you disappointed or you were expecting some other action from your loved ones but something else happened this also disappoints you. 

On the whole it is the critical behaviour that do not let us to live peacefully. To transform it into the happiness and teaching you need to accept mistakes and also needs to take the responsibility of that then only. You can convert this negative energy into the positive energy. You will not be having further issues reagrding that and you would always work well to overcome that happening that what had happened should never happen to you again.

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